Interesting exchange of views. Good while back I ran into a mod and got shredded. I complained and was banned while the complaint was investigated. thought it was odd behaviour. Got reinstated and a few days later the mod involved apologised to me for having a go, so all well that ends well.
In fairness to mods, its a bit like a Monty Python movie, we might not like them all the time, but the place is shite without them!
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tom4
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 60
0 km · Galway
Forum
Looking for straight couple to meet my pal and I. She is late 30's very attractive very straight but wants to have two guys and I of course want to have two girls (greedy fecker what I am). And I know I know I know its not fair why wont we meet a single guy on his own, but feck it, sorry lads, thats not the deal!
So any couples out there fancy a chat, let me know. The girls will need to speak to each other very early on, so bear that in mind cheers
Though I do remember a meet and greet organised a few years ago on this site in a certain hotel, where people heard about it and rang the hotel asking for the room rate for "da swingers site meet".
If you do organise one, you might need to make sure you avoid the hard of learning among the brethern !
Ah pulleaze,
Biggles you are an intelligent fellow you know perfectly well the point I was making in my message and it is borne out by the back slapping messages that follow.
The guys who whisper incessently dont give a rats arse what you or others say in the forums and certainly are not going to stop because you told them you are fed up with it.
It does irritate me when some people publish a whisper that says "Hi" and hasnt been repeated but I know full well that there are morons who repeatedly whisper and then get annoyed when they dont get a reply. I blame their mammies in fact for not teaching them some manners!
So if I am correct in my thinking, what exactly is the point of the thread??
Biggles with a single post you have stopped all the guys who incessently whisper, because having read your words of wisdom they now to a man have fallen silent and are no longer whispering, but joining in the ebb and flow of conversation in the room.
I mean that was your intent wasnt it? It couldnt possibly be that your post had more to do with impressing the laydees seeing as how it would have no possible impact on the loo laas that do the whispering?
while the initial texts said why do males not show up, i am glad to see that the later ones recognise that couples and females are just as bad.
People come on these sites for different reasons, some like to chat, some like to look at cams some like to talk, some like to have phone sex and some even want to meet!
There are others for whom it is just an extension of their interest in porn and their particular fetish is talking, arranging a meet and never intending to show.
you can usually but not always spot them. They dont like to give out details are usually mad to meet straight away.
Basically they dont see the other person as a person merely as the same piece of meat they watch on a porn video. When the moment passes they turn it off and toss it out. Which is why when you get annoyed with them for not turning up they often genuinely dont understand it. its like the porn video talking after being turned off!
Over the years I have tried different ways to get beyond "first contact" that is chatting to a girl,or a couple and trying to work out if they are real or guys just messing.
the best solution I have come up with is to get the girl to call me on my mobile with her blocking her number. This is pretty much without risk for her because it means that she dosent reveal her details. Ok there is a risk that my mobile will become the object of late night heavy breathing phone calls, but hey they dont quite have the same effect on a six foot 14 stone guy!
The main objection I get from "girls" or "couples" is that they couldnt be bothered, its too much trouble, they have no credit and anyway, there are 500 other guys who will email them pics, go on cam, etc so why should they ring me.
I usually counter this by saying that if the "girl" or "couple" are not prepared to go to the trouble of making a short phone call, they are highly unlikely to actually turn up to a meet.
Anybody got a better way to get beyond first contact? I appreciate that as Elvis Costello says, its different for boys, but I think the initial contact issue is the same
The forums are full of people looking to meet at short notice, only thing is that the women will get a thousand replies to he average guys one.
I tend to agree that generally the meets that happen after some time chatting are better. But still, the spontaneous spur of the moment, jus plain get down and dirty short notice meets can just be sublime -0)
Not quite a swinging story but I did once arrive at a midlands hotel quite late and checked in. Went up to the room and as is my want, started getting undressed. I was at the shirt and one sock off stage when I noticed another bag beside the bed that wasnt mine, and then the toilet flushed.....
I fled into the hallway to meet the receptionist galloping up the corridor having realised she had given me the wrong room key!
Well midnight I absolutely recognise that different people want different things. I have chatted to lots of people who just want to chat and not meet and thats fine.
The people I am talking about are those who get a kick out of arranging meets with people and have no intention of meetings. Its not backing out, or getting cold feet, they deliberately set out to not turn up and seem to get a buzz sexual or otherwise, out of it.
Nor am I necessarily talking about publishing negative comments, but if admin gets three or four comments about on user, all of which show that they have a particular way of not showing, maybe they should consider acting on it. i accept that they shouldnt act on one or two bad experiences, but if admin gets lots of complaints? And the user is still in the chatrooms, arranging another "meet"?
I know that s4i properly takes the view that it will not have a name and shame policy towards timewasters, which is fair enough as it is open to abuse. Just wonder what people would think of the use of comments though. There are at least two people on the site that I have had personal experience of and have also heard from others that they messed them about.
Lots of these people have a modus operandi. They do the same thing to everyone they meet. What is blood boiling is to see them online, happily working on their next victim. Obviously they will not let negative comments on their profiles.
What would happen if Admin got three or four comments about a particular user, from different people on the site, all showing a similiar form of behaviour. Would they act on that and challenge the user? Its surely not good for the site to be open to abusers who are herefor their own reasons to take pleasure out of messing genuine people about.
Just a thought!
Ravenfire I think its just a different mindset. There are lots of people on this site who use the site as a porn site. They get off watching the conversation, looking at cams and in some cases fantasising about meeting by talking to people about meeting. They tend to be ones that fixate on every detail (what you wear, what you will do, how long you last, how often you have done it etc etc) They also tend to be kinda creepy about collecting and wanting to "swap" pictures.
The common point with them is that they dont see the person they ar watching or talking to as a person at all, they are no different to a porn video that they were watching before or even while they are talking to you. The person is an object to get off on and dosent really figure as an individual.
When you realise that it explains why they are not a bit worried about not turning up and they get quite upset if you challenge them on it. After all, how many of us have had porn actor text us and give off to us cos we switched the dvd off half way through!
"And I'm not saying it's all guys but the majority of let down's are single guys"
Amber just read that sentence you posted and see does it make any sense.
Your experience is that its single guys that dont show. My experience has been limited to couples and fems and my experience has been that there are plenty of no shows with them.
If you take both our experiences together it proves that people, either male or female dont show depending on whats going on in their heads.
Your post pays lip service to the notion that couples and fems dont show but its very clear you are convinced its men only that have the problem. That attitude is plain wrong and anyone who goes into swinging thinking that women and couples are not going to mess them about are going to be sorely disappointed. There are thousands of men on this site and of course there will be loads of them time wasters. I would have no doubt that the percentage of time wasters is exactly the same as for couples and single women. The skill is in trying to work out who they are before wastin a trip.
And as anyone who reads my posts will see, I have not been too good at that of late!
you know Alan the no show thread appears about once month in Various formats, but ultimately the same, its the guys fault. The poor angelic couples and the saintly girls go to all the trouble and the single guys don’t turn up.
In the last week I have had two no shows, one a couple and one a girl. Thats my personal experience. Some of these gobshites get a kick out of it. The woman who stood me up actually boasted about the guys she had stood up and what a buzz it gave her. These people, male or female, treat the site like a porn site, the people they mess about are simply pieces of meat for them to get their odd kicks off and then cast aside.
Can I again make the point pretty please, there are moronic guys, there are moronic couples and there are moronic women who think its fun to talk shite and then not turn up. Can we finally accept that Its not whats between their legs that make them no showers, its what in their twisted brains!
ravenfire it was valentines night for gods sake everyroom in the place was bouncing off the wall lol course i had paid for the room! As it happens I was up for work so not a huge problem, but god do you feel dumb when taken in by the loo laas fantasists that make up a fair part of the population of this site!
As for the privacy of the comments, cant people just say I met Joe or Mary and they were nice? You dont need to say they dressed you in a rubber gimps outfit and strung you by the short and curlys from the shower curtain! Zeds dead baby, Zeds dead
People who wont show are usually spotable early on.
1. The "woman" who asks you how big your cock is few seconds after you start chatting. That will be the guy pretending.
2. The person who wants endless detail about what will happen at a meet. How will we shag, what do you like,what turns you on the most etc etc.
3. The person who dosent want to talk on the phone. Its understandable if he or she dosent want to give out a number. Simple answer. Let them ring you from a blocked number. If a contact wont speak to you that way, move on.
4. Lack of comments on their profile.
5. Lack of consistency on their profile. Straight male wants to meet Bi male etc.
Unfortunately there are a lot of people on these sites who just want to talk about meeting. Thats their fantasy and I for one am happy to chat to people who don’t want to meet. Problem is many of them use the other person as an object of their fantasy. Some even get a kick out of sitting at home reading exasperated texts or emails from the person they have stood up.
Its a case of learning by experience and applying common sense to potential meets I think. I certainly wouldn’t like a blacklist. There are enough crackpots and loo laas out there who would delight in filling in the names of every person who ever looked at them sideways in a chatroom!
