Over the years I have tried different ways to get beyond "first contact" that is chatting to a girl,or a couple and trying to work out if they are real or guys just messing.
the best solution I have come up with is to get the girl to call me on my mobile with her blocking her number. This is pretty much without risk for her because it means that she dosent reveal her details. Ok there is a risk that my mobile will become the object of late night heavy breathing phone calls, but hey they dont quite have the same effect on a six foot 14 stone guy!
The main objection I get from "girls" or "couples" is that they couldnt be bothered, its too much trouble, they have no credit and anyway, there are 500 other guys who will email them pics, go on cam, etc so why should they ring me.
I usually counter this by saying that if the "girl" or "couple" are not prepared to go to the trouble of making a short phone call, they are highly unlikely to actually turn up to a meet.
Anybody got a better way to get beyond first contact? I appreciate that as Elvis Costello says, its different for boys, but I think the initial contact issue is the same
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Beyond First Contact...
After 7 years around the scene both in the UK and Ireland - I have learned that the following 'CFCF' vetting procedure weeds out the 'one-night-only stud-muffins'; 'gis-a-shag' merchants and TWONKs in general:
1] Chat in the chatrooms - see how they engage with other folks;
2] Fraternise in the Forums - gives a great insight into personality;
3] Communicate by computer - gives the opportunity to discuss matters privately before deciding to quit or progress ...
IF and only IF they put in some effort into getting to know you and you are confident there's mutual attraction - then you may swap numbers and arrange a first meet - for coffee/drinks etc ONLY.
First Meets - always in neutral public area, or at the social meet-and-greets. If I'm not good enough to be seen with in public then you aren't good enough to see me privately.
See if reality bites ...
- and you get on well, then you can plan where to go from there.
Or runs for the Hills ...
- then you part as 'online friends' with nothing lost;
Anyone who first asks for my number, strikes themselves off my list at First Base because time and effort are more valuable to me than money.
This works for me as I prefer regular playfriends over one-off encounters. Not into 'quickies' - unless it's with someone I'm already in regular contact with.
The female experience is certainly different to the male - purely because of the numbers game. For every woman seeking a man - there's at least 300 men around here. So there has to be a filtering system to optimise opportunities.
I'm sure others do things differently - whatever works for you is the way to go.
1] Chat in the chatrooms - see how they engage with other folks;
2] Fraternise in the Forums - gives a great insight into personality;
3] Communicate by computer - gives the opportunity to discuss matters privately before deciding to quit or progress ...
IF and only IF they put in some effort into getting to know you and you are confident there's mutual attraction - then you may swap numbers and arrange a first meet - for coffee/drinks etc ONLY.
First Meets - always in neutral public area, or at the social meet-and-greets. If I'm not good enough to be seen with in public then you aren't good enough to see me privately.
See if reality bites ...
- and you get on well, then you can plan where to go from there.
Or runs for the Hills ...
- then you part as 'online friends' with nothing lost;
Anyone who first asks for my number, strikes themselves off my list at First Base because time and effort are more valuable to me than money.
This works for me as I prefer regular playfriends over one-off encounters. Not into 'quickies' - unless it's with someone I'm already in regular contact with.
The female experience is certainly different to the male - purely because of the numbers game. For every woman seeking a man - there's at least 300 men around here. So there has to be a filtering system to optimise opportunities.
I'm sure others do things differently - whatever works for you is the way to go.
great advise Marie ... although even with the best vetting it is always more difficult for the single guys & even if you get as far as the coffee meet there is then the "spark" question, also the PC persona may be different to the "real person".
Unfortunately you just have to keep trying & believe that there are good people out there....but at times it is dis-heartening.
