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tippbi
Over 90 days ago
Bisexual Male, 52
0 km · Tipperary
Forum
Sexlightened
Congrats on the new, erm, venture, business, fantasy?
Where would I like to go? Anywhere there is sunshine.
Who would I like to bring? You.
What would I bring? Toothbrush, condoms & a big smile.
What would I do there? Anything you wanted me to.
Right, where's the check in desk???????? :mrgreen:
Dublindogger, titan & gerroger, I'd slap the whole feckin lot of ye to get in there :P Sexlightened
Now let me think, what complicated thought process led to my user name :-?......... Oh yeah, I live in Tipp and I'm....... well you can guess the rest :mrgreen:
Thinking of changing it, theres a lot of people here using Tipp as a prefix & it seems to confuse the odd person from time to time
by the way Titan79, 10% of 69 is 6.9 :P 
Sexlightened
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, 'Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers, 'You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store
to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco
and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she.
Sexlightened
Three mice were sitting at a bar talking about how tough they were. The first mouse slams a shot and says, "I play with mouse traps for fun. I'll run into one on purpose and as it is closing on me, I grab the bar and bench press it 20 to 30 times." And, with that, he slams another shot.
The second mouse slams a shot and says, "That's nothing. I take those poison bait tablets, cut them up, and snort them, just for the fun of it." And, with that, he slams another shot.
The third mouse slams a shot, gets up, and walks away.
The first two mice look at each other, then turn to the third mouse and ask, "Where the hell are you going?"
The third mouse stops and replies, "I'm going home to f**k the cat."
Sexlightened
There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for 'Termination without Cause'.
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee (Now I know why they record these conversations!):
Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'
Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'
Operator: 'Went away?'
Caller: 'They disappeared.'
Operator: 'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?'
Caller: 'Nothing.'
Operator: 'Nothing??'
Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??'
Caller: 'How do I tell?'
Operator: 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??'
Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
Caller: 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'
Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'
Caller: 'What's a monitor?'
Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??'
Caller: 'I don't know.'
Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'
Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'
Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: 'Yes, it is.'
Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'
Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'
Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'
Caller: 'I can't reach.'
Operator: 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??'
Caller: 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.'
Operator: 'Dark??'
Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
' Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller: 'I can't.'
Operator: 'No? Why not??'
Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'
Operator: ' A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??'
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'
Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??'
Operator: 'Tell them you're too f --- ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!'
Sexlightened
Text speak drives me crazy too, I don't even use it when I'm texting. The way I see it is that I spent long enough learning to spell I might as well use the bloody skill (1 of the few tht I have). The downside to not using it is that it takes ages to reply to anyone in the chat room & it can be hard to hold a conversation but I just can't bring myself to do it!!!
While I can understand people using it in chat rooms there can be no excuse for using it in profiles or e-mails.
Sexlightened
Ah, the dreaded whisper, the death knell for so many.....
I've never sent a whisper without permission. Although considering the countless amounts of times I have said "hi" to someone in the chat rooms & been ignored I have considered sending a whisper thinking "they probably didn't see me say hi cos there are so many in here"... or maybe they are ignoring me on purpose :-?. I do however refrain from doing so.
There have been many occasions that I have recieved whispers, usually from "straight" guys (why would straight gys be interested in a room with bi in the title????) or from the male half of a couple & usually whispers are mostly along the lines of "what are you into?" "where are you from?" "are you free now?" The answers to the first 2 are available in my profile! I generally reply in open chat & they usually leave the room. Some will reply & we sometimes do end up having a private chat. I don't do it to be cruel but if a person isn't prepared to chat in the open room what are they trying to hide????
I don't expect to see their life story up on screen & I know discretion is important to a lot of folks, myself included but that's what the chat room is there for, to make a connection & then maybe get to know a bot more in private.
I do agree with Boo that pasting whispers in the open chat is a bit cruel & is something I would not do, unless the whispers were persistent & abusive. There is always the option of reporting such whispers to the mods or admin. Not a "fix it now" solution I know but better that none at all.
)
would you freak out if you met someone you knew on here or just laugh it off & contine as if it never happened?
Hats off to those who spend so much of their time keeping this site going smoothly :thumbup: Sexlightened
Ah ha, the dreaded of drink-typing, it is a scourge which must be stampd out of our society 
I think I know the post you ar referring to, & I thought he was just having a bad day, turns out he was just having a very good night 
Not to worry I'm sure Bull will accept your punishment graciously, although I'm not sure he would consider being tied to the bed a punishment :mrgreen:
I think I know the post you ar referring to, & I thought he was just having a bad day, turns out he was just having a very good night
Not to worry I'm sure Bull will accept your punishment graciously, although I'm not sure he would consider being tied to the bed a punishment :mrgreen: Sexlightened
A dwarf went to her doctor. "Doctor, every time I go out in the rain I get a sore pussy". The doctor examined her & could find nothing wrong so she left rather unhappy.
Two weeks later she came back, "doctor, I went out in the rain again yesterday & after 5 minutes my pussy was aching, there must be something wrong. The doctor examined her again but could still find nothing wrong, so she left really unhappy.
Another week went by & on a really wet & windy day she arrived in the doctors office again. "Doctor, I'm in absolute agony, there must be something seriously wrong with me. So he put her up on the table had a look up her dress. "Aha" he said, went away, came back, fumbled about under her dress for a few minutes. "Right that should do it" said the doctor. So she left again, puzzled but relieved.
Three days later she came back smiling. "Doctor, it's been raining for the last three days & there hasn't been a bother on me. I don't know what you did to me but it worked". The doctor replied, "I didn't do anything to you, I just cut the tops off your wellies".........
Sexlightened
Hi all, I see the old topic of people being all talk & no action is still alive & well, 
I have never been dogging but would love to do it. I am based in North Tipp & as I am married I don't get a lot of free nights to meet people, but when I say I'll turn up I DO TURN UP.
I'll be keeping an eye on this thread/forum closely, hopefully something will come up the next night I am free :grin:
B.T.W. Avondale, 
hwoar:
I have never been dogging but would love to do it. I am based in North Tipp & as I am married I don't get a lot of free nights to meet people, but when I say I'll turn up I DO TURN UP.
I'll be keeping an eye on this thread/forum closely, hopefully something will come up the next night I am free :grin:
B.T.W. Avondale, hwoar: 