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tippbi
Over 90 days ago
Bisexual Male, 52
0 km · Tipperary
Forum
Sexlightened
I've been lucky enough not to get caught by "no-shows" yet. I have exchanged several e-mails & texts & even spoken to a few couples who are adamant that they want to meet & then when the time arrives, nothing. No reply to e-mails, texts or calls, not even to say "sorry, we've changed our minds" (which is understandable & allowed). So when people do this I simply put them on my list of time wasters & concentrate on chatting to the really genuine people here, & meeting them & having lots of fun with them, (you know who you are 
)
) Sexlightened
Quote by user=BullAndBoo
"Make a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. Set him on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
Terry Pratchett
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: I like that 1 :thumbup:& along the same lines....
"Give a man a fish, feed him for a day.
Teach a man to fish, & he'll spend his days sitting in a boat drinking beer."
(Anon)
& a few more on various subjects.
In Italy for thirty years under the Borgias, they had warfare,terror, murder & bloodshed - they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love, five hundred years of democracy and peace and what did they produce?
The cuckoo clock!
(Orson Welles)
If you look like your passport photo, you're too ill to travel.
(Will Kommen)
I hate views, they are only made for bad painters.
(Oscar Wilde)
I have nothing to declare except my genius.
(Oscar Wilde)
You go Uruguay, and I'll go mine,
(Grouch Marx)
We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavours, and furniture polish is made from real lemons.
(Alfred Newman)
Some mornings it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
(Emo Philips)
Don't worry about the world ending today, it's already tomorrow in Australia.
(Steven Wright)
All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
(Emo Philips)
If you talk to God, you are praying; if God talks to you, you have schizophrenia.
(Thomas Szasz)
I know God is a man. Because if God was a woman She would have made sperm taste like chocolate.
(Carrie Snow)
I'm not a fascist, I'm a priest. Fascists dress up in black and tell people what to do, whereas priests...........
(Father Ted)
I don't have a type. It took me this long to narrow it down to a gender.
(Ellen DeGeneres)
-Back to my place?
-Can two people fit under a rock?
(Rita Rudner)
I like kinky sex with chocolate, I call it S&M&M.
(Rosanne)
Lulabelle, it's you! I didn't recognise you standing up.
(Groucho Marx)
Who is this Greek chap Clitoris they're talking about?
(Lord Albermarle)
All my mother told me about sex was that the man goes on top and the woman goes on the bottom. For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.
(Joan Rivers)
Romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece.
(Lisa Simpson)
Only time can heal a broken heart, just as only time can heal his broken arms and legs.
(Miss Piggy)
The day he moved out was terrible
That evening she went through hell
His absence wasn't a problem
But the corkscrew had gone as well
(Wendy Cope)
-I'm afraid that after we've been married a while a beautiful girl will come along and wou'll forget all about me.
-Don't be silly, I'll write you twice a week.
(Groucho Marx)
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history, with the possible exception of handguns and tequila.
(Mitch Ratcliffe)
Sexlightened
Well put as always Boo.
I was on this site for some time before I had a proper chat never mind meet up with anyone. I have to admit I did think it was going to be a case of, join up, send a few mails, and woo hoo, away we go, 
How wrong I was. The good thing was that I was lucky enough (ok, ok, cheeky enough) to get chatting to some decent people in the chat rooms. It took ages to find a couple to exchange e-mails with me & eventually meet, but it was well worth the wait, well, well worth it ;). You just have to stick with it if you are genuinely interested in meeting people, it will happen eventually.
How wrong I was. The good thing was that I was lucky enough (ok, ok, cheeky enough) to get chatting to some decent people in the chat rooms. It took ages to find a couple to exchange e-mails with me & eventually meet, but it was well worth the wait, well, well worth it ;). You just have to stick with it if you are genuinely interested in meeting people, it will happen eventually. Sexlightened
Quote by user=deliciousshabba
:angel::devil:
why is it that when u are nice to somebody they treat u mean and when u are mean they are very keen...
This is caused by a very complex & usually heridity disease known as.........................
BEING A TWAT..................
I aplogise if that offends anybody but in my view if people treat you nice you return the gesture, if they treat you mean, then they can go & take a long walk on a short pier..........
Sexlightened
Quote by user=live4life
I was a regular web cam user on here till recently - and i can tell u personally - i didnt make a cent from it - if i did - id be a millionaire...:giggle:
bad manners has no place in here folks - lets move on
lou xxx
WHAT........... No more Live on cam...........:upset::upset::upset:I'd pay to see that smile any day. Please come back Live, we miss you
:worship::worship: Sexlightened
Quote by user=jandj30s
Do you think the whisper feature kills room chat and interaction or do you think its a handy tool to have for passing on personal information etc. my own opinion is it kills room chat and makes room hopping a much more prevalent thing.
Uh Oh!........ can opened........... worms everywhere.........
Sexlightened
Husband and wife doing weekly grocery shopping
Husband puts 10 cans of Bulmers into trolley
wife quickly takes them out saying"they cost €15 their much too expensive"
further down the aisle she puts €30 jar of face cream in trolley
he says"hold on a minute thats too expensive"
she says "but it makes me look beautiful"
he says "so does the Bulmers but it only half the price"
Sexlightened
A little girl walks in to the lounge one Sunday morning while her Dad is reading the paper.
"Daddy, Where does poo come from?" she asks.
The father feeling a little perturbed that his 5 year old daughter is
already asking difficult questions thinks for a moment and says:
"Well you know we just ate breakfast?"
"Yes," answers the girl.
"Well the food goes into our tummies and our bodies take out all the good stuff, and then whatever is left over comes out of our bums when we go to the toilet, and that is poo."
The little girl looks perplexed, and stares at him in stunned silence for a few seconds and asks………………………….
"And Tigger?"
Sexlightened
When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not
produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel
the Pre-Christmas pressure.
Then Mrs Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which
stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them
were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and
were out, Heaven knows where.
Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards
cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.
Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a
shot of rum.. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves
had drank all the cider and hidden the liquor. In his frustration,
he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of
little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the
broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the
broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and irritated Santa marched to the
door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great
big Christmas tree.
The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this
a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like
me to stick it?'
& so began the tradition of the angel at the top of the Christmas tree.................
Sexlightened
Quote by user=head46
I read in a mag a while ago that you can put things in condoms (small cake decorations...etc)and it realy gives the girl in your life a whole new sensation ....please let us know if it works
Tried to test that theory out Head, but the bride & groom figures kept bursting the condom......
