I've heard it from so many people since joining the site, and Bull and I have had the experience a few times now: you go to the trouble of getting to know someone, eventually arrange a meet, arrive at the arranged place at the correct time... and the other party just doesn't show up. No text, no phone call, no email... just nothing ever again.
I wonder... wouldn't it be a good idea to build in a function on profiles where other members have the option of reporting no-shows? After a certain number of them, perhaps the member in question can be cautioned, and after a certain number more, perhaps a comment can be added by admin to their profile or something.
One missed appointment is understandable, but a string of them in a certain amount of time would indicate to me that this person is a time-waster. I invest a lot of time, effort and emotion in building up to a meeting, so I must say it hits me very hard when someone just disappears off the face of the earth when you were meant to see each other. And I'm not the only one... whenever we meet with someone, the topic of how many no-shows they've had to endure usually comes up, and it's shocking to hear how many wankers without manners are on this site.
So what do you think? Would it be possible, and would it be fair?
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Sex God
Thats very open to abuse. If someone just took a dislike to you they could ruin your profile by saying you didnt show!
if there was a way to prove to the Admin team for them to checkout first before it went onto the "offending profile" Yes.
Well, as I said, you'd have to have a few offences reported before anything is done. Let's say five no-shows before you're cautioned, and two more before a note is made on your profile. And I'd think it would be obvious if the same person reported a no-show five times, they're being malicious (or they're very, very stupid, I mean, why arrange a meet with someone again and again if they keep not showing up without any excuse?). It would have to be complaints from different members, not all from the same one. That way the 'I hate you and want to ruin your name on here' factor is eliminated.
Sex God
ya good , could work that way.
Boo......while I sympathise with you and everyone else who has been stood up, I don't think it should be a function of the site to police individual meets. If it is a meet arranged by admin or the mods then I think they might have cause to do something about it (as Stud has indicated in his last pm about the anniversary m&g), but in reality this is a networking site, and as such it's up to individuals whether or not they turn up. It can reflect badly on the site if too many people suffer from this, but I do feel if you arrange to meet someone you can't expect admin to do something about it....perhaps there could be a no-show thread started...naming and shaming the culprits? It's been done before on here regarding males posing as females or couples, although I haven't seen it fo a while, and of course if you spread the word to your friends and warn them that so-and-so may not turn up you are utilising the greatest form of advertising - word of mouth.
There is already the "established" proceedure, and photo verification, but after that we should be left to sort it out between ourselves - we are supposed to be grown ups after all.
Andy
Bull it really is part and parcel of any swing site to be honest, ( that doesn't excuse what is primarily just plain bed manners and lack of respect) but it is something everyone has to deal with at some stage.
Best putting it down to experience, the longer you are on sites, I think you find it easier to spot the signs, re time wasters ect..
Was my beautiful Boo who posted this Addies, she lugged the laptop all the way to Galway (her internet addiction comes second only to her addiction to "those" pics, you know what I mean). She probably posted this while I was waiting for you and the Jack, and you were busy at the monastery.
Seriously though, I happen to agree with you and Andy; it's part of the whole thing and we will learn to spot the messers. Boo is nothing if not industrious, and her visit to the West was not in vain after all, once she had put out a distress call.
Love, Bull. :love:
Boo says:
Yeah, sorry guys, in retrospect that's not a good idea. I posted this thread while sitting alone in my room in the guesthouse in Galway where I stayed for the weekend, really pissed off that the friend I had arranged to meet vanished into thin air when talk came down to action. In hindsight the no-show thing is just one of those facts of life and I should wait until I'm calm before posting to the forums.
Jez, I was ready to write off the entire western half of the country I was so angry. I wouldn't have minded a text or a call saying: "Sorry, I don't want to meet any more." But just suddenly acting like a vacuum, as if the universe changed its mind about your existence and wiped you out... that is so rude, so insulting. And it's cowardly. I know how hard it is to be honest and say to someone that you just don't feel this is going to work (jeez, I've had to do that enough times myself and it never gets easier), but just vanishing is a horrible thing to do to someone else.
Galway City's reputation was redeemed by a guy I was incredibly fortunate to meet, though. I want to wax lyrical about how fantastic my new friend is, but I won't bore you with the details beyond saying in the end it was all good.
Very good.
Particularly good.
*Boo gets all hot and bothered remembering her fantastic meet in Galway*.
"Oh, Bull, honey, come over here to the bed..."
well it happened to us last saturday night, arranged mmmmf for the wife, hotel set up, my number given and not 1 showed up (only me lol). i will happily give the names of them, if needed just drop me a line, as much as i would like to do it in open to the wife the words: "definatly, to right, cant wait " dont seem to have much effect on her now, all the build up for her and not even a sorry i cant make it text, it dosent take much to reply. And single guys complain couples dont give them a chance, well i know 2 that have lost out with us.
ps. we still had a great night with just ourselves
Sex God
Well recently I had a no show, went out of my way to meet a cpl and asked that they let me know if they changed theyre minds as I wouldnt have minded, before I went the distance to meet them. When I got back to the site I sent an email expressing my dissapointment in theyre lack of common courtesy, got no reply unsurprisingly and in return a few days later got smart comments passed at me in main chat by them.
Thankfully I am above such childish antics.
I took it as a good omen they didnt meet me as in fairness if people in theyre mid 30's act like a pack of ten year old's when they get scolded for wasting a persons time (as they did mine) I think its speaks volumes about them, and they arent the kind of people anyone would want to meet.
Sorry to hear that Galway Initially was a downer for you boo, dammit woman I would have kept ya company but I was away last weekend lol.
Meandmy, again sorry to hear about the timewasters, its things like this at times kinda piss you off about swinging. But Thankfully there are far more genuine people than messers.
Quote by user=mr-meandmywifeuk
well it happened to us last saturday night, arranged mmmmf for the wife, hotel set up, my number given and not 1 showed up (only me lol). i will happily give the names of them, if needed just drop me a line, as much as i would like to do it in open to the wife the words: "definatly, to right, cant wait " dont seem to have much effect on her now, all the build up for her and not even a sorry i cant make it text, it dosent take much to reply. And single guys complain couples dont give them a chance, well i know 2 that have lost out with us.
ps. we still had a great night with just ourselves
Well not that i was due to meet you guys, nor make excuses, but perhaps the fact that history was made on Saturday contributed to the now shows.
I know what Boo is saying, nearly every couple i've ever met the topic has come up. I have never done a no show, nor will i ever, once or twice plans can change, and at least respect who you are due to meet with the courtesy of a text or call.
Boo, i find a way to weed out messers and time wasters is to not only text, but also have a phone conversation, even just to say hello?
Anyway, wel done to the lads in Cardiff, I was there on the half way line, i will never forget it!
Quote by user=silkyboxers
In my experience of meets I've had very few no shows but that was in my in-experienced early days.
Not sure if its a good idea bad mouthing people or leaving a red flag against someones name coz he or she didn't show up.
Its bad form if someone doesn't atleast ring or text to say they can't make it. But such a system leves it open for anyone to say something good or bad about a person that can really substantiated.
Myself n Bi are carful about arranging times to suit as our time is precious and between babysitters n work our meets must be 100% no bull or time wasters.
Not sure what could be some to weed out real time wasters . (name and shame doesn't work)
I take exception to that!
Bull.
Sexlightened
I've been lucky enough not to get caught by "no-shows" yet. I have exchanged several e-mails & texts & even spoken to a few couples who are adamant that they want to meet & then when the time arrives, nothing. No reply to e-mails, texts or calls, not even to say "sorry, we've changed our minds" (which is understandable & allowed). So when people do this I simply put them on my list of time wasters & concentrate on chatting to the really genuine people here, & meeting them & having lots of fun with them, (you know who you are 
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