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midnightchat
Over 90 days ago
Female, 48
0 km · Mayo
Forum
I cant say , everytime i start telling ppl bout strange stuff thats happened to me in the sexual arena, they always think im making it up 
Tom, first of all you would have to be clear on your definition of a time-waster:
a) someone here to chat only and indulge in solely on-site contact.
b) someone here to chat only but creating the impression they would be interested in a meet.
c) someone you have engaged in hours of contact with only to be told sorry not going to meet.
d) someone who arranges a meet and then backs out, whether at the last minute or even with no notice.
e) any other definition you could apply……….
Definitions a to d are par for the course. At no point during sign up is any individual asked to sign an agreement that they will be genuine in how they represent themselves. There is a limited scope wherein admin can govern how people represent themselves i.e. couples are in fact couples, females are in fact females etc. If you placed an ad on an online service advertising your car for sale, you do not have the option of calling that service provider and saying ‘Joe Bloggs contacted me about the car, I engaged in contact with him and discussed the car and its features. I sent him photos. Turns out he is just a tyre kicking You as an adult made a conscious decision to use the service, the provider allows you to formulate an advert and provide a contact medium. The provider bears no responsibility as to what happens beyond this. The same principle applies here.
Definition d and e fall beyond the scope of responsibility of the site. Any activity arranged off-site is not associated with the site nor will it be monitored by the site. I’m sorry that this seems unsympathetic, I do actually empathise. I have experienced spending countless hours of my valuable time establishing a connection with individuals here, only to have it totally back fire on me. I would also say I have engaged in prolonged contact with individuals, and only after hours of chat have I been able to determine that they are in fact people I do not want to meet. Perhaps at the start of this contact I may have created the impression there was a possible meet to be had. However, there is no onus on me to follow through on this.
The end point here is that it will not be allowed that comments relating to negative experiences with a profile shall be recorded and available to view. This topic is raised regularly, the answer has always been no.
a) someone here to chat only and indulge in solely on-site contact.
b) someone here to chat only but creating the impression they would be interested in a meet.
c) someone you have engaged in hours of contact with only to be told sorry not going to meet.
d) someone who arranges a meet and then backs out, whether at the last minute or even with no notice.
e) any other definition you could apply……….
Definitions a to d are par for the course. At no point during sign up is any individual asked to sign an agreement that they will be genuine in how they represent themselves. There is a limited scope wherein admin can govern how people represent themselves i.e. couples are in fact couples, females are in fact females etc. If you placed an ad on an online service advertising your car for sale, you do not have the option of calling that service provider and saying ‘Joe Bloggs contacted me about the car, I engaged in contact with him and discussed the car and its features. I sent him photos. Turns out he is just a tyre kicking You as an adult made a conscious decision to use the service, the provider allows you to formulate an advert and provide a contact medium. The provider bears no responsibility as to what happens beyond this. The same principle applies here.
Definition d and e fall beyond the scope of responsibility of the site. Any activity arranged off-site is not associated with the site nor will it be monitored by the site. I’m sorry that this seems unsympathetic, I do actually empathise. I have experienced spending countless hours of my valuable time establishing a connection with individuals here, only to have it totally back fire on me. I would also say I have engaged in prolonged contact with individuals, and only after hours of chat have I been able to determine that they are in fact people I do not want to meet. Perhaps at the start of this contact I may have created the impression there was a possible meet to be had. However, there is no onus on me to follow through on this.
The end point here is that it will not be allowed that comments relating to negative experiences with a profile shall be recorded and available to view. This topic is raised regularly, the answer has always been no.
Virgo a broader view of that point would not be that some people just judge bi people; but that they have an innate need to judge full stop. These people who would apply 'a stereo-type' to a bi person invariably apply stero-types to most individuals they meet..........e.g. married men who indulge outside the marital bed are just morally corrupt men, single mothers are just out to trap a baby daddy or are an easy mark, a teenager in a hoody is a yob, a gay person has made a choice to follow that path.
I find the best way to deal with them is to turn it on them..... what is their issue that they need to worry about stuff that has no effect on them whatsoever. I understand that culture and age may play a part in some people's perceptions but this is not always a sufficient excuse for small mindedness.
I find the best way to deal with them is to turn it on them..... what is their issue that they need to worry about stuff that has no effect on them whatsoever. I understand that culture and age may play a part in some people's perceptions but this is not always a sufficient excuse for small mindedness.
Quote by user=Virgogirl
it should be a members decision if a comment is added in the first place..
My point on this issue is not about negative comments ect..I just feel that it a members perogative if a comment should be allowed on their profile..
Virgo I did understand that, I know where you were coming from on it. I only entered that comment to ensure that all reading this were aware it was an option available to them. However; with a different perspective it becomes clear the comments still need to come through the mods at some stage prior to posting. Not in the interest of censorship or to have a general nose at who is saying what, but to ensure that the feature is not abused. We need to ensure all content is acceptable. For example, what is to stop someone posting email addresses or contact details on comments, what is to stop someone on multiple accounts commenting on themselves and how fantastic they are! Ideally you would be looking at a two-tiered screening process, wherein firstly the mods would screen the comment and then this would be posted at the user's discretion. I do not think that this is an idea that would be shot down outright, it will of course be considered.
Surely the fact a mod responded on the post would suggest notice being taken. Whether the outcome is to the satisfaction of the original poster or not, all suggestions are taken on board and recognised. A response will be given when available and negativity at such an early stage is counter-productive.
Quote by user=kerouac
Noticed this morning for the first time my sons voice starting to break-brought back memories of those awkward moments standing up in school and nothing coming out when you speak.
Kerouac made me smile. Reminded me of the day my son's little voice suddenly started to resemble a donkey braying across a country wall at me...........:scared:
I understand why that would seem the logical suggestion Raven but the status is a reflection of how they participate here on the site, not day to day life. A married man who is on the site alone is a solo male, a couple profile on here should have both parties participating. If it is unacceptable for a male to represent himself as being in a couple if he is the only active member here, likewise with women I believe.
I accept all favourite requests, they do me no harm. If someone sends me a gallery invite, I look. These contacts are not solicited by me and so I am not obliged to make any kind of response or acknowledgement. At the end of the day this is a site designed for human interaction, for people to make contact online with a potential for more. So to those that added me to their favourites, thanks I'm glad I tickled your fancy a bit. Thanks for the gallery invites too, but I tend to make a better connection with people in the chat rooms.
Curious if you are on here seeking play without your partner participating you are in fact a solo male. Regardless of your day to day status as an attached male, here you are solo. I agree if your partner is not actively participating on the site i.e chatting or meeting, you should be on a solo male profile that shows you as being in a relationship.
Any arrangements made off site, whether fulfilled or not, are at the discretion of the members. This unfortunate incident has nothing to do admin and there is no point in thinking that any intervention will be made. Perhaps it is a lesson learnt; arrangements take time to make. Chat and communicate as much as you can, eventually you will develop a radar for these things. Do not agree to a meet without first speaking to both parties on the phone and also seeing them on a web-cam. In this day and age there is no excuse for not going on cam, a well known supermarket is now selling a budget range which should be affordable to any person.
In realistic terms naming and shaming or keeping record of non-site related activities is an unlikely scenario. Make use of what's available to you on the site. If you are new, chat to the long-term members you know meet successfully, if they reckon something is too good to be true; chances are it is. I personally have Extras on my account. My reason for having this is not to see who has looked at my profile but for the greater information it gives me. If I am chatting to someone I look at their profile and am given a list of recent activities. If I note that they have added 10 different people to their favourites recently, but no one has reciprocated, this gives me cause to be cautious..... Essentially nice what I'm saying is that it's a learning curve. Take it on board and develop a strategy for future.
In realistic terms naming and shaming or keeping record of non-site related activities is an unlikely scenario. Make use of what's available to you on the site. If you are new, chat to the long-term members you know meet successfully, if they reckon something is too good to be true; chances are it is. I personally have Extras on my account. My reason for having this is not to see who has looked at my profile but for the greater information it gives me. If I am chatting to someone I look at their profile and am given a list of recent activities. If I note that they have added 10 different people to their favourites recently, but no one has reciprocated, this gives me cause to be cautious..... Essentially nice what I'm saying is that it's a learning curve. Take it on board and develop a strategy for future.
