are women/men who enjoy sex with ex-boy/girl friends of others..slags?
It is a swing site but are there unwritten rules?
If you and your friend are on the site as singles should you be swinging with others or be just exclusive to one another?
Should you tell those you are meeting that you are in a relationship with a site member?
And if the person you are meeting is or tells you they are an ex-boy or girl friends of another member are you a ...tart, slag or slapper for having fun with them?
Is it the same as stealing your best friends boy/girl friend?
This is after all a swing site ... It is supposed non-judgemental as to
1- why people are on here.
2- Why & whom they choose to meet.
Yet some previous threads on here would indicate that some people are judgemental & with some double standards being applied in certain circumstances.
Does what goes round come round?
(& for those that have not bothered to read my profile...
yes I am married
yes I am cheating
yes I always tell my S4i meets the full story and don't mislead them ... I am honest with those I am meeting & that is or should be a pre-requisite for a Swing meet. Those you are meeting should have all the information and be able to make a judgement call on whether they will meet you or not)
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are women/men who enjoy sex with ex-boy/girl friends of ...
Yes if you are on here with your boy/girl friend but as singles maybe it would be a good idea to tell a person your meeting on the off chance it doesnt go well and they get nasty on site, it could be a case of you havent told you b/g friend that you are having a meet and the last thing they might want is to hear it from some one else.
We are not here to judge others, we have our own set of morals and values, but believe each to their own.
Sex God
regret to say alan, i agree with the girls here, you lost me at the first sentance, when u used the word slags.I realise u did say ex-boyfriends or girlfriends, but, still, as virgo says its a term of offence and i dont enjoy reading it.
Quote by user=alan-ball
are women/men who enjoy sex with ex-boy/girl friends of others..slags?
Ladies apologies for the use of the "S" word ... Offensive as it may be is in common use ... Although perhaps unacceptable for a guy to use.
I would be interested in what the equivalent term may be for a guy & is there a non-offesive term for guy/girls engaging in activities to which the question pertains.
Casanova
Where to begin here??
Firstly, while not removing myself from the question you ask Alan, I do agree with the ladies here. Using such terms, regardless of how common they may be, is highly insulting and distasteful.
Perhaps Alan, and call me old fashioned if you will, but maybe all of this is a matter of ones own concience.
I agree that everyone on here, is here for their own reasons, but honesty does come into play at times, I personally would not "play" with someone's ex either here or in normal life, if I knew who their ex was, in case of causing hurt or embarassment to that person.
Today's world is filled with terms and titles to describe everyone's actions. However the first term or title that should be used at all times is having respect for your fellow human. With whoever one's chooses to meet, we should all be honest with them so that they can make an informed decision as to whether they choose to proceed or not.
None of us are entitled to judge others. So let us desist from abhorant names and titles to describe what people do.
Quote by user=alan-ball
are women/men who enjoy sex with ex-boy/girl friends of others..slags?
Ladies apologies for the use of the "S" word ... Offensive as it may be is in common use ... Although perhaps unacceptable for a guy to use.
I would be interested in what the equivalent term may be for a guy & is there a non-offesive term for guy/girls engaging in activities to which the question pertains.
Alan the terms slag, slapper , tart ect are only in common use because society allows them to be.
It is highly offensive, and I believe degrades in the main women, it is unacceptable for anyone to use , let alone a guy, women are just as capable of using these terms as men.
What exactly does your question pertain to?
Should you not be asking , what are the issues, problems ect that arise when a person meets, or engages with others whilst in a relationship?
Without the need to use , nothing more than gutter slang words?
Personaly I don't think the thread should be locked, it raised an important discussion on how we use terms even today that can still cause offence...
As for ans to your questions Alan, I honestly don't know if it is possible to give a reply, without upsetting members on this site.
People make choices, if they are wrong they deal with the fall out, on a personal note, I have been shit on from a great height many times, but as an adult, I guess instead of wasting precious energy time trying to deal with it..
I throw on my lippy, flick out my butt, and move on!!!!!
I started the thread to start a discussion, unfortunately ill considered use of the S word has caused offence (for which I have apologised ) & detracted from the discussion, so as not to cause further offence I have no objection to the thread being locked or removed.
ALAN
ALAN
Quote by user=midnightchat
Raven, I would not imagine there is much more to be added to this thread. Objections were raised and taken on board. Locking the thread does not remove the initial offence caused, however, if you or the thread generator specifically wish for it to be locked we shall be happy to oblige.
Alan everyone here knows u..and know ur a very respectful man.
I do hope they know u were not using the word as personal use..but in asking is it what as seen as the norm in this society..openminded people being called narrowminded names..
when emotions hit high...do we revert back to the general societys view of sexual beings or do we behave in a dignified swinger and openminded manner was ur question..
i think it depends on the individual.. i dont think many call anyone names no matter what they did to them ..end of the day MOST adults have more dignity than to lower themselves to certain levels and walk on.
Alan it has been asked that the thread remain open so that the main query can be discussed. As stated the issue of some words being potentially offensive has been identified; there cannot be too much more that needs to be added to that. The road is now clear for your topic to be commented on.
Orgasminator
Hi Alan - if we all were to avoid ex boyfriends/girlfriends of others then we would never meet anyone new. We are all somewhat separated and definitely all have ex's in our past. So why limit it to only people on this site? If they are at a meet and greet and wish to be with you then what is the problem? They are adults and can make up their own mind as to whether or not to be with someone. If someone cannot reconcile the fact that they are about to shag someone who has already been with someone from the site before them, then that is the bigger issue really. The issue is with the perciever of there being an issue in the first place... Hope that makes sense cos it does to me.
My interpretation of the original question is as follows:
If you are with an ex...keyword ex.... of someone on the site, can or does it cause resentment?
Perhaps it does. But after all, nearly all of us are someone's ex. Either from the site or off site.
Regardless, it should be handled with respect and maturity.
It's a bit different when it comes to this site because under normal circumstances our ex-partners are for the most part left in the past. Whereas on here, you may continue to see them in chat, on cam with another or even at a party or meet and greet. Can make for some touchy situations. Discretion and decorum are always paramount on here, as well as mutual respect. Also, I don't believe that anyone "steals" anyone else. People make decisions of their own free will. Folks should be allowed to move on and pursue happiness without the fear of an ex blurting out a statement in public, such as mentioning the mole shaped like Lithuania on their ex's inner thigh, and so forth. Highly disrespectful and very bad form.
So I reckon if any of this makes a woman OR man a slag, then either we are all one big happy pack of slags or none of us are. I believe the latter as it's akin to telling an atheist to go to hell. It just simply doesn't apply.
Finally, people should disclose as much or as little as they wish. People make their own decisions and are responsible for them. That said, if someone asks a potential partner if they are married, etc., they deserve an honest answer.
Quote by user=alan-ball
are women/men who enjoy sex with ex-boy/girl friends of others..slags?
Ladies apologies for the use of the "S" word ... Offensive as it may be is in common use ... Although perhaps unacceptable for a guy to use.
I would be interested in what the equivalent term may be for a guy & is there a non-offesive term for guy/girls engaging in activities to which the question pertains.
The only derogatory comment I ever heard for a guy was years ago and not commonly used now, and the name itself was actually again more an insult to women then men, which I always found amazing....it was wh***e master....master being the man and yea you guessed....wh***e being the woman....I think the willingness to use such terms gives people a true insight into the reality of that persons mind....but Im sure alan was again hypothetically speaking for a certain group of people in general!!
Should you tell those you are meeting that you are in a relationship with a site member?
Most definately yes, denying that you are is both insulting to both parties, and can cause a lot of hurt when the truth comes out...
But as for ex partners, I guess it is and always will be a bone of contention for people who may still have feelings for another person, and it is difficult to move on, we are all only human at the end of the day..
Perhaps if people communicated more, before rushing into meeting, then a lot of difficult situations could be avoided..
I know if I suspected that someone was in a realtionship, I would check with both the female/make before I met..
Okay it can be embarrasing asking, but it sure prevents me from hurting people.
Orgasminator
:dry: Just a thought occured to me on this thread.... (dangerous for me to have one :sticky: ) What is the perception of single males like me who, in mind if nothing else, wants to meet with all the wonderful women and couples here? We still want to be friendly and more with all but on different occasions one partner fulfills some part that you are loking for and on another you need a different partner. There really are so many really wonderful, interesting and sexy women and couples here that it is like a sweet shop and one day I want gobstoppers and another liquorice allsorts... I'm a self confessed slut when it comes to women and all are great for sex but sometimes you want a conversation too which might suit a different partner at the time... I seek out the "experts" of the moment.... Hope this makes sense - it is an insight into my thinking as well I guess 
Orgasminator
on the above I should ammend that all are great for sex "AND" conversation but everyone is interested in different topics... don't mean some are not able to be talked too ....:-o Thank goodness I got there and clarified before I got comments...
Yes non-judgemental to a certain point but there has to be a point a line in the sand, shouldn't some kind of morals come into it?
Its basic cope on that's needed in them situations. I've meet you Alan you seem like a lovely fella but in saying that i think you should grow a pair and be honest with your wife.
I feel I need to reply to your post numberseven and have no wish to cause offence by doing so.......merely state my own opinion...I beleive its up to alanball to decide whether he tells his significant other or not and really dont feel its any of our business what he does in his personal life .....theres an old saying *let them without sin cast the first stone* the original question on this thread wasnt whether married men (and women) on this site should tell their wives and husbands. None of us know what goes on in someone elses home and as far as I am concerned it should be up to the individual to deal with it .....Alan I have met you and you are a gentleman, very respectful, and so nice to talk to and you listen....a very rare commodity these days.
there nuff said and hope no one takes offense at this as it wasnt meant to cause any.......................xxxxxxxanny
The use of the term slag may perhaps been an unwise choice of words.
I personally think its not Alan has said himself it was perhaps a wrong choice of wording to use.
On the subject of ex’s..as eppy said,,the key word is ex,,,so basically that person is entitled to do as they wish ,,and tuff if the old partner has a problem with it.
From my end of things,,I don’t think I wud be with a mate’s ex…if the friendship means anything to me I wont jeopardise it by rubbing the mates nose in it.
As for telling people ur status…well..thats ur decision,,this is after all a swing site..not a dating site,,,we are here for fun,,,and maybe I am wrong too think so ..but I don’t care if anyone is single r married,,if we are having fun that’s all I wanna kno about.
As for Alan’s personal situation…who am I to judge or tell him what he should do .
I will not let others stand in judgement on me,,so I certainly wont judge him, nor do I think anyone else should be judgemental.
None of us know his reasons for behaving the way he does.
Alan…..you are a grown adult,,…you make your own decision on that matter.
Personally i don`t care about peoples personal lives, but some of the above posts did raise an issue. Should married people who are on this or any other site tell their spouse? Each member here has their own valid reason for them to be here but if your married or in a relationship, does having meets not constitute cheating? If the shoe was on the other foot would you want your spouse to tell you? We are not judging anyone here, just wanted to know what others think, as we started out as an affair ourselves.
Whether Alan tells his wife or not is nothing to do with any of us, and while seven has a right to his point of view, personal attacks just bring bad feeling and causes hurt when there is no need.
Can you really equate NSA with cheating?
I meet attached people, I have never felt that they were cheating, will probably get shot down for admitting I do, but not all marriges are perfect.
My partner cheated on me, it wasn't the sex that bothered me, it was the idea that he had became emotionaly attached to other women hurt more.
As for Seven's comments, Alan-Ball has a perfectly good set and he doesn't have to justify his profile to anyone!!!!!!!!!
He is honest enough to make people aware he is married, it is the eejits who pretend to be single that need balls Seven...
Can you really equate NSA with cheating?
I meet attached people, I have never felt that they were cheating, will probably get shot down for admitting I do, but not all marriges are perfect.
My partner cheated on me, it wasn't the sex that bothered me, it was the idea that he had became emotionaly attached to other women hurt more.
quote]
I think everyone looks at cheating differently, my marriage was dead when i had my affair with teddy but my ex still said it was cheating even though he knew about it at the time. There is nothing wrong with meeting attached people Virgo and you shouldn't be shot down for it, you are old enough to know whats right for you.
But as has happened on this site, when an attached person is not honest with the person they are meeting and the spouse finds out it can cause a lot of hassle for the innocent swinger who hadn't got a clue the other person was attached. And i agree no marriage is perfect but i don't know if i`m just been stupid but i would like to know if my partner was on a swing site, i hate surprises lol.
Been hurt either by the fact your been cheated on or that your partner falls for the other person is one the the worst feelings in the world, so would it not be better to be honest so your partner can make the choice to stay and be hurt and go and be able to heal.
I meet attached people, I have never felt that they were cheating, will probably get shot down for admitting I do, but not all marriges are perfect.
My partner cheated on me, it wasn't the sex that bothered me, it was the idea that he had became emotionaly attached to other women hurt more.
quote]
I think everyone looks at cheating differently, my marriage was dead when i had my affair with teddy but my ex still said it was cheating even though he knew about it at the time. There is nothing wrong with meeting attached people Virgo and you shouldn't be shot down for it, you are old enough to know whats right for you.
But as has happened on this site, when an attached person is not honest with the person they are meeting and the spouse finds out it can cause a lot of hassle for the innocent swinger who hadn't got a clue the other person was attached. And i agree no marriage is perfect but i don't know if i`m just been stupid but i would like to know if my partner was on a swing site, i hate surprises lol.
Been hurt either by the fact your been cheated on or that your partner falls for the other person is one the the worst feelings in the world, so would it not be better to be honest so your partner can make the choice to stay and be hurt and go and be able to heal.
Whether it's 'nsa' or not - If you are having sex with other people without the consent/knowledge of your partner/OH/SO, then you are cheating. It is for themselves to square that with their own conscience - and face the music when the partner/OH/SO finds out - which they inevitably do in the long run.
The question of honesty comes into play here on the site, because some people genuinely do not want to meet others who are already attached - no matter what the state of the 'relationship' may be. It is only fair that an attached person is open and honest with potential meets. It is for this reason that honesty is needed - to give the potential meeter the option to say "Thanks, but No Thanks" and avoid any possibility of a bad outcome if/when the partner/OH/SO finds out."
In relation to the OP - names have always been attached to folks for all sorts of behaviours. It's been a "Man's World" for so long that terms that denigrate the morals of the females and inflate the already puffed up egos of the males have become the norm. Usually it's men who use these terms - though I've know a few women who could do with a carbolic-soap-mouthwash too. Whoever is speaking, no-one has the right to label another person for any reason. We're all adults and choose to live our lives in the way we believe it best for ourselves. If it hurts no-one else and is within the law, then Live and Let Live, I say!!
Personally, I don't play with other people's toys - and would never knowingly make a play for someone-else's partner - whether they were a friend or not - but that's just me living a quiet life.
The question of honesty comes into play here on the site, because some people genuinely do not want to meet others who are already attached - no matter what the state of the 'relationship' may be. It is only fair that an attached person is open and honest with potential meets. It is for this reason that honesty is needed - to give the potential meeter the option to say "Thanks, but No Thanks" and avoid any possibility of a bad outcome if/when the partner/OH/SO finds out."
In relation to the OP - names have always been attached to folks for all sorts of behaviours. It's been a "Man's World" for so long that terms that denigrate the morals of the females and inflate the already puffed up egos of the males have become the norm. Usually it's men who use these terms - though I've know a few women who could do with a carbolic-soap-mouthwash too. Whoever is speaking, no-one has the right to label another person for any reason. We're all adults and choose to live our lives in the way we believe it best for ourselves. If it hurts no-one else and is within the law, then Live and Let Live, I say!!
Personally, I don't play with other people's toys - and would never knowingly make a play for someone-else's partner - whether they were a friend or not - but that's just me living a quiet life.
