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another one bites the dust.....
We all have an option on do's , dont's , if's , puts or what ever and all we will differ .... so .....
Before you speak, listen.
Before you write, think.
Before you spend, earn.
Before you invest, investigate.
Before you criticize, wait.
then you can say you have said you bit and leave it be .....
Time to let it be ..............................
Mind if I chime in?
Your original post was interesting to read. I'm a new person to the site, so I have a first impression.
I have been to the chat room and it's very full and very fast. Lots of people know each other and there is alot of familiarity, lots of greetings between people that know each other well and as a new person, that makes entering a conversation difficult. Quite daunting, I suppose.
There were some good replies to your original post... and I know now that going into the rooms when it may not be so busy is a better way to get into the community. Much easier to be seen and heard!! Also, when I commented on the quiet rooms in the newbie chatroom (always seems busy there) someone told me that the smaller rooms are often quiet. So I knew what to expect. Isn't it true in the real world that people separate off into quieter areas to talk privately?
But getting into a conversation in a chatroom is no more difficult than trying to enter a conversation in a pub, with a large group of people who are close friends. It all happens quite the same way and as a newcomer, I frankly don't find it an issue. I haven't entered any of the main chatrooms and not had someone greeting me, which is nice.
Every single social forum/chat I have ever been involved in, over the years, has had a series of sprawling issues regarding moderating. It usually involves people with a grievance trying to gain support from other members regarding a locked thread, a boot from a chat session, a misinterpreted comment or some such. I'm not saying that is the reason for your posts, by the way... but more a general observation I have seen from time to time.
As a new member, I find these public, messy issues more of a turn-away than a busy chat room or a chat room silent because it's full of people whispering, watching, listening, having dinner or having a long dump. :O
I'm quite a forum-oriented site user, so posts about bad feelings have a bigger affect on my experience. When I read them, I was a bit disappointed really. But that's cool, I know they exist now, so I know not to read them if I choose. Easy.
I'm not saying that people with grievances should STFU though, otherwise, how can a site ever improve? I wonder whether there should be a separate forum for support and problems?
I'm not sure how the backend code of the forum works but if someone starts to write a reply and takes 20 mins to complete it... and then the thread gets locked... it's possible that the post will still appear when it's submitted. Possibly... just a theory.
I hope you don't mind me being straightforward like that about it - it's the impression I get, so I thought I'd contribute :)
:moon::clap:
Isn't it true in the real world that people separate off into quieter areas to talk privately?
But getting into a conversation in a chatroom is no more difficult than trying to enter a conversation in a pub, with a large group of people who are close friends. It all happens quite the same way and as a newcomer, I frankly don't find it an issue. I haven't entered any of the main chatrooms and not had someone greeting me, which is nice.
Every single social forum/chat I have ever been involved in, over the years, has had a series of sprawling issues regarding moderating. It usually involves people with a grievance trying to gain support from other members regarding a locked thread, a boot from a chat session, a misinterpreted comment or some such. I'm not saying that is the reason for your posts, by the way... but more a general observation I have seen from time to time.
As a new member, I find these public, messy issues more of a turn-away than a busy chat room or a chat room silent because it's full of people whispering, watching, listening, having dinner or having a long dump. :O
I'm quite a forum-oriented site user, so posts about bad feelings have a bigger affect on my experience. When I read them, I was a bit disappointed really. But that's cool, I know they exist now, so I know not to read them if I choose. Easy.
I'm not saying that people with grievances should STFU though, otherwise, how can a site ever improve? I wonder whether there should be a separate forum for support and problems?
I'm not sure how the backend code of the forum works but if someone starts to write a reply and takes 20 mins to complete it... and then the thread gets locked... it's possible that the post will still appear when it's submitted. Possibly... just a theory.
I hope you don't mind me being straightforward like that about it - it's the impression I get, so I thought I'd contribute :)
:moon::clap: 
Quote by user=lovebird
yet again another thread has been locked. this time its unclear which mod has locked the thread,i know, you would assume SOMEONE would have the grace to inform ppl and at least the op.
its very telling of our small cyber world how the voices of questions and those who go against the general 'lay' of the land are treated.
so yet again i will ask what was the reason for threads been locked?
could the mod who locked the last thread please say why?
i was not abusive, i had an honest question, that no-one seems to answer, but will lock a thread without giving a reason,valid or otherwise???
just because a mod or admin (as far as i know), has locked a thread does not make them unaccountable for their actions, if there has been a breach of the forums on my behalf i would assume someone would have the decency to inform me.
i find it distasteful and a tad indulgent that just because i may speak as i find,the thread has been locked.
i do wonder if ppl hadnt agreed with me would the thread have been locked?
it remains to be seen how long this thread will last.
to all the ppl who were brave enough to agree with me( and yes i do see it as an act of bravery, its hard to stand against the 'power' however fragile)i thank you and applaud you.
a special thanks to stig.....
lovebird
xx
Sadly freedom of speech seems to exist here only as long as you agree with the majority as demonstrated with these threads being locked for no reason apparently. At the very least the person who started the thread should have the right to know why it has been locked.
The site is usually run great, all I would say is that if a thread is locked, then the OP should be emailed the reason why. At least the OP is given the reason and the whole thing is closed then.
Ive had a couple of threads locked before and was always mailed by the Mod who locked them. Once a reason is given as to why the thread was locked, thats all I needed and was happy enough to move on from the matter.
Welcome back Lovebird hun:inlove:
It is a total joke your thread was locked, you are not one to bitch, moan and have never been nasty on the forums so the first time you bring up a very valid point and you are treated like this!!! Well done for having your say hun it is just a shame that you are been treated the way you have been. Some times i wonder how this site is still going when good members like yourself are treated like this.....no wonder so many older members have left:taz:
Sex God
I don't normally rise to nonsense like this but having looked at this thread for a few days now and having only seen the original thread and another this afternoon, I had to say something, for all the good it will do me!
1. I am a paying member of this site, I joined it to meet like minded people for fun and whatever else comes with it, the fact I am a mod is irrelevant, I applied to be a mod to help in the running of the site, It has no perks, rewards nada, Just I hate to see people not being able to express they’re sexuality due to a few immature idiots that go on as if they never seen a woman half naked before……refusing to get started on that old chestnut…
Where this all singing and dancing, babysitting/meet and greet role comes into it is beyond me? I didn’t see it in the fine print when I was granted a mod role!
That said I’ve never refused to help or assist anyone when they asked, Do these people ever get on in the real world?. I mean good job I’m a mouthy old hoor with a loud voice or I’d have faded into obscurity by now!!!
2. As for a star being a pulling tool...you must be joking, the amount of people that stopped talking to me, and others when we 'joined the other side' was mind boggling, they seem to have the impression if they had a bad meet with a mod etc it would be taken out on them on site, that we are some sort of Swing Police..(if I meet anyone for real the last thing I want to talk about if bloody modding) well hers the thing we are all human, we have good meets and bad, but if for a moment I ever suspected anyone of carrying on in that matter I wouldn’t hasten to report them, no allegiances, after all, we are here for ourselves!
3. I'm not quiet sure where all this has come From LB, seemingly you as a person I have met a few times came across as level headed and fairly clued up, maybe threes some other agenda here? As for locking of threads, yes as part of the Mod role on here we have the credence to lock threads and make judgements to do so to avoid any further aggro.
4. Who would want to be a mod? your the first one to get the flack, accused of being a spoilsport when a few morons that should know better decide to carry on like 12 year olds in a chat room, in turn putting off the persons they’re crap is aimed at directing whispers etc,
This assumed to be some sort of golden circle of mod cronies?
Hers a reality check, we are human, we all form little social groups, and believe me there are worse on here than any assumed mod clique!
5. If I got a fiver for the amount of times I have said a friendly hi to new people in chat with no response...I would be sipping Mojitos on a dessert Island right now, Not pointlessly trying to put my side of things across, to be honest after a while LB you don't bother your ass engaging people if they want to chat to you they have a list of names in the sidebar and they can make that decision for themselves.
6. Like all these kind of threads there will no doubt be the disgruntled few that wait in the wings to have a pop at the system, well here is the thing, a lot of you on here have come from other sites, I don’t need to name them, they had no mod system and in conversation with some of these people the same sites died a death in the end as it was a complete free for all with abusive behaviour etc. I like to think we keep that in check here, so whilst some of you are there ready with your Daggers to cut us at the first available chance, just imagine this place if all 20 or so of us Mods decided to hand our stars in tomorrow..........lets see how that would work.
Every side has an opinion and a point of View,
Just airing mine as we seem to be expected to keep quiet and just take the flack, whenever its dished.
T
Quote by user=TITAN79
I don't normally rise to nonsense like this but having looked at this thread for a few days now and having only seen the original thread and another this afternoon, I had to say something, for all the good it will do me!
Titan i read your post and while you have some fair points i take exception to you calling this thread OP had a valid point to make and done so in a very mature way as i feel every other poster on this thread. This has nothing to do with if your a mod or not as we do chat the odd time i am in the chat room,but i feel you are out of line on this one.
We all have our view's and the right to express them but not if it is going to cause offence and cause more ill feeling on site.
Sex God
Well Raven, Like I said we all have opinions and are entitled to air them, I feel it was nonsensical some of the points made about stars used as pulling tools etc and I take great umbrage with those comments, hence my opening statement.
This response was in relation to 3 threads overall, not just this one.
Just to clarify.
Lucky you Titan, being able to respond to the one open thread that remained on the topic. At least you, unlike another mod, didnt unlock a thread, post your tuppenceworth and then lock it down again so no-one could have their say. That was the ONLY point Lovebird was complaining about. I know LB and know you and indeed you know me. Are we conspiring against Mods? I think not. The point being made is its unfair to lock threads and reopen them so one person can get their view across without challenge.
i have said this before and i am saying it now again THE FORUMS IS NOT THE CORRECT PLACE FOR THIS , IF YOU HAVE A GENUINE GRIEVEANCE YOU TAKE IT TO THE SUPPORT CENTRE WHERE IT WILL BE ADDRESSED BY AN IMPARTIAL PERSON .The obvious no response from admin on this thread should have told you that.I locked the original thread and escalated the matter to the support centre , and that is where the site staffs responsibility to it ends .Do not continue to post threads on this here. Take your complaint to the support centre.
Admin
We have been reviewing all that has gone on here, all I'd have to say is that when threads are locked there is always a good reason.
Not all of the reasons are going to be spealt out in open as very often there have been a lot of things going on in the background that would not be apparent to anyone reading the thread, confidentiality and common sense will always rule and it would not be appropriate to post all of the facts.
So whilst something may appear to be black and white on first reading you are not getting the whole story and only knowing half of the truth makes it pretty tricky to make an informed opinion.
On occasion, some people may attempt to manipulate what has been said in public for their own agender, which 9 times out of 10 is a personal dispute or an attempt to get their own back.
You would need to know all of the facts to know what is really going on, which doesn't make it easy with so many things going on here.
Both the admin team and the mod team will always act in what we believe to be the best interest of the site, every complaint submitted via the ticket system is investigated and dealt with.
Neither the admin team or the mod team enjoy locking threads, scare mongering and unsubstantiated allegations are not acceptable, if anyone has a problem please put a ticket in with all of the supporting facts and it will be dealt with.
I've left this thread unlocked, I have no objection to people posting objections to threads being locked as there has never been a policy of preventing freedom of speech, just don't try to dress it up as something else, if you have a proper issue with anyone here, put in a support ticket with facts to back it up.
If you have a greivance or an axe to grind with another member go do it elsewhere, this is meant to be a fun place.
Admin has made a very fair point on this thread. But what I cant understand is why Lovebird has had a ban placed on her account. I can see she wasnt very content with the way she perceived her treatment by mods on here, and then went and wrote about her discontent in the forums. I can understand why she was angry that a thread seemed to be reopened so another post could be posted only to be closed again. But does that constitute a ban?
Sure, Admin and the Mods wont tell why another user was banned and thats fair, such info should remain confidential. But I cant see that Lovebird has broken any rules on here just by voicing discontent. Yes some of her points were not in the least valid and were way off the mark (Such as mods should / must say hello to entrants to a chatroom, I actually laughed at that one), but some were valid too
Im not one for mod bashing, I think they do an excellent job here. I have had reason to call on the mods for both help and advice in the past, and they have been very willing to help me/us.
It just seems from reading the thread that the OP got a ban from voicing discontent. Am I saying this is what happened? No Im not, and like Admin has posted, we dont see all of the iceberg, only the tip. But from reading the thread it looks like LB has been banned for speaking out about what she perceived to be wrong.
Sure, Admin and the Mods wont tell why another user was banned and thats fair, such info should remain confidential. But I cant see that Lovebird has broken any rules on here just by voicing discontent. Yes some of her points were not in the least valid and were way off the mark (Such as mods should / must say hello to entrants to a chatroom, I actually laughed at that one), but some were valid too
Im not one for mod bashing, I think they do an excellent job here. I have had reason to call on the mods for both help and advice in the past, and they have been very willing to help me/us.
It just seems from reading the thread that the OP got a ban from voicing discontent. Am I saying this is what happened? No Im not, and like Admin has posted, we dont see all of the iceberg, only the tip. But from reading the thread it looks like LB has been banned for speaking out about what she perceived to be wrong.
we are all entilted to our say and i do agree with her she has some very strong points and i feel she is allowed to have her say im not bashing all mods but she has made some good points and i know been a mod is a tough job but also they should not close ranks like they can do but this is only my opion...
By the way, I just want to say that I have an open mind and dont think LB was banned for voicing discontent. Of course I believe that there is a lot more to this story than what is said in the forum threads. However I was just pointing out that others may see it this way by just reading the forums.
Quote by user=Amberx
Just to note that the reason any member is banned from this site, will not be discussed on this thread, any other or anywhere on this site, it's confidential. :thumbup:
That is fair enough Amber, but it seems very strange that after she had her rant, right or wrong, she is now banned. I just hope that is not a case of if any member including mods have a rant or voice their feelings on a possible negative point about the site and how they feel it is run are not banned for it. I don't have any problems with how the site is run in general just some little things that are my issue and nothing to get flustered about but i hope if i did have a serious issue and voiced it i would not be banned for it as long as i stuck within the rules.
i think admin made the right choice opening this thread again and it shows they have good faith in us members to be able to express how we feel in a mature way.
I just hope we see LB back soon.
Quote by user=tom4
Amber,
The reasons that a member is banned may be confidential, but Im sorry, the reason this particular member was banned rings out loud and clear!
The reason this member has been banned is not clear and it will not be made clear. As Amber has said that is confidential.
As admin has stated this thread has now been reopened and all opinions are welcome. But as he also stated,
So whilst something may appear to be black and white on first reading you are not getting the whole story and only knowing half of the truth makes it pretty tricky to make an informed opinion.
Others have implied it, but i'm coming right out and saying it. I can't for the life of me figure out why only a handful of users insist on continuously stirring things on these forums. I don't see it as productive in any way. As the matter is now water under the bridge, I would hope this thread is allowed to die it's natural death.
Admin
Quote by user=tom4
Amber,
The reasons that a member is banned may be confidential, but Im sorry, the reason this particular member was banned rings out loud and clear!
I don't think so, you may think it does but you would have to know all of the facts and I very much doubt that you do, if you did you certainly wouldn't be posting.
Still such is life, whilst we would like everyone to get on, unfortunately they don't and that is something we have to live with, what we don't have to live with is people bringing their personal issues on here with other members to wind up and inflame others.
As I said earlier and as said by others, if their is a particular issue with anyone on this site, report it via a support ticket.
In answer to the questions about locked threads that seems to be very high on the agenda.
1. Mods/Admin can and will lock thread that we consider to be malicious to member, or just plain nasty.
2. Mods/Admin can lock threads and post in them after, we can also delete posts, threads and do all sorts of other stuff.
One thing I woud like to add is that there has been some talk of mods closing rank on anyone that doesn't happen to agree with them, this is absolute bollox, the mods debate behind the scenes about many things, they are not a herd of sheep and I will tell you sometiing else, if we do have the misfortune to recruit a mod that is self serving the other mods will out them.
Thats pretty much all I have to say on this.
Quote by user=aurorablue
i have said this before and i am saying it now again THE FORUMS IS NOT THE CORRECT PLACE FOR THIS , IF YOU HAVE A GENUINE GRIEVEANCE YOU TAKE IT TO THE SUPPORT CENTRE WHERE IT WILL BE ADDRESSED BY AN IMPARTIAL PERSON .The obvious no response from admin on this thread should have told you that.I locked the original thread and escalated the matter to the support centre , and that is where the site staffs responsibility to it ends .Do not continue to post threads on this here. Take your complaint to the support centre.
The Admin have since responded so they are obviously taking notice of what goes on in the forums and to certainly give credit where it is due they are letting people have their say on the issue, unlike some mods they didn't just lock the forum without a word to the person who started the thread, a brief note there i am NOT referring to any mod in particular there with that as i don't know who locked the other threads at all and i am sure they had their reasons for doing so at the time.
Lovebird had an issue and in my opinion only it deserved a better response than she got for example being told this thread was nonsense, i don't agree with all the points she raised personally and i don't agree with some of the responses for that matter but I wouldn't describe any of them as nonsense or being wrong by any means as they are peoples individual points of view, people have the right to discuss issues like this without being accused of stirring things up.
If everyone on this site had the same opinion the forums I'm think you will agree they would become very dull.
Fair points Stig, as someone who enjoys the forums and loves contributing to the posts that catch my interest........ not as a mod, can I just say I am sooooooo tired of the negativity. I am in no way detracting from any negative experience that any other member has had nor am I invalidating any dispute. But enough is enough as far as I am concerned.
Ill feeling is contagious and effects the greater demographic eventually, not just those integral to the issue. I can honestly say that the general malcontent has left me with no interest in even reading the forums the last few days. My personal opinion is that the new wave of 'bright and breezey' threads have been posted to counter-act this.
Can we move forward, can we accept that any grievances were at least heard if not resolved and take on board that there is a governing body (Admin) available to EVERYONE when it is felt that resolution is not being reached at ground level.
Now I am off to read the happy threads, dying to see what Kitty comes up with next!!!!!!
Ill feeling is contagious and effects the greater demographic eventually, not just those integral to the issue. I can honestly say that the general malcontent has left me with no interest in even reading the forums the last few days. My personal opinion is that the new wave of 'bright and breezey' threads have been posted to counter-act this.
Can we move forward, can we accept that any grievances were at least heard if not resolved and take on board that there is a governing body (Admin) available to EVERYONE when it is felt that resolution is not being reached at ground level.
Now I am off to read the happy threads, dying to see what Kitty comes up with next!!!!!!
Quote by user=TheStig11
i have said this before and i am saying it now again THE FORUMS IS NOT THE CORRECT PLACE FOR THIS , IF YOU HAVE A GENUINE GRIEVEANCE YOU TAKE IT TO THE SUPPORT CENTRE WHERE IT WILL BE ADDRESSED BY AN IMPARTIAL PERSON .The obvious no response from admin on this thread should have told you that.I locked the original thread and escalated the matter to the support centre , and that is where the site staffs responsibility to it ends .Do not continue to post threads on this here. Take your complaint to the support centre.
The Admin have since responded so they are obviously taking notice of what goes on in the forums and to certainly give credit where it is due they are letting people have their say on the issue, unlike some mods they didn't just lock the forum without a word to the person who started the thread, a brief note there i am NOT referring to any mod in particular there with that as i don't know who locked the other threads at all and i am sure they had their reasons for doing so at the time.
Lovebird had an issue and in my opinion only it deserved a better response than she got for example being told this thread was nonsense, i don't agree with all the points she raised personally and i don't agree with some of the responses for that matter but I wouldn't describe any of them as nonsense or being wrong by any means as they are peoples individual points of view, people have the right to discuss issues like this without being accused of stirring things up.
If everyone on this site had the same opinion the forums I'm think you will agree they would become very dull.
excuse me but you DO NOT have the right to discuss these things here .The correct place for COMPLAINTS, ALLEGATIONS, and general BUSYBODYNESS is not the forums.
edited cos i was being bold .
Quote by user=aurorablue
i have said this before and i am saying it now again THE FORUMS IS NOT THE CORRECT PLACE FOR THIS , IF YOU HAVE A GENUINE GRIEVEANCE YOU TAKE IT TO THE SUPPORT CENTRE WHERE IT WILL BE ADDRESSED BY AN IMPARTIAL PERSON .The obvious no response from admin on this thread should have told you that.I locked the original thread and escalated the matter to the support centre , and that is where the site staffs responsibility to it ends .Do not continue to post threads on this here. Take your complaint to the support centre.
The Admin have since responded so they are obviously taking notice of what goes on in the forums and to certainly give credit where it is due they are letting people have their say on the issue, unlike some mods they didn't just lock the forum without a word to the person who started the thread, a brief note there i am NOT referring to any mod in particular there with that as i don't know who locked the other threads at all and i am sure they had their reasons for doing so at the time.
Lovebird had an issue and in my opinion only it deserved a better response than she got for example being told this thread was nonsense, i don't agree with all the points she raised personally and i don't agree with some of the responses for that matter but I wouldn't describe any of them as nonsense or being wrong by any means as they are peoples individual points of view, people have the right to discuss issues like this without being accused of stirring things up.
If everyone on this site had the same opinion the forums I'm think you will agree they would become very dull.
excuse me but you DO NOT have the right to discuss these things here .The correct place for COMPLAINTS, ALLEGATIONS, and general BUSYBODYNESS is not the forums.
edited cos i was being bold .
I do have the right as does everyone else who posted whether they be ordinary members or mods as the admin have decided to leave this thread open so I seggust you address any comments / snide remarks / complaints to them rather than to people who are just using the forums to actually voice an opinion or just lock the thread if it's bothering you so much.
