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daithi
Over 90 days ago
Bi-curious Male, 50
0 km · Kildare
Forum
One off many i am sure 
Sexlightened
From Wedding Crashers. . .
so many lines but my fav. . .
Motorboating; What were they like anyway? They look pretty good - are they real? Are they built for speed or comfort? What did you do with them? Motorboat? You play the motorboat? You motorboatin son of a bitch, you old sailor you!
And of course the Bathroom Scene - "coz I find you!"
:wink:
Sexlightened
Young Paddy bought a donkey from a farmer for £100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news. The donkey's died.'
Paddy replied, 'Well then just give me my money back.'
The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I've already spent it.'
Paddy said, 'OK, then, just bring me the dead donkey.'
The farmer asked, 'What are you going to do with him?'
Paddy said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.'
The farmer said, 'You can't raffle a dead donkey!'
Paddy said, 'Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.'
A month later, the farmer met up with Paddy and asked, ' What happened with that dead donkey?'
Paddy said, 'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at £2 each and made a profit of £898'
The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?'
Paddy said, 'Just the guy who won. So I gave him his £2 back.'
Paddy now works for the IMF
Sexlightened
A culchie and a dub get into a car accident, and it's a bad one.
Both cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them is hurt.
After they crawl out of their cars, the Dub says, "So you're an culchie, that's interesting. I'm a Dub... Wow! Just look at our cars, there's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of our days."
The Culchie replied," I agree with you completely; this must be a sign from God! And look at this - here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of whiskey didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this and celebrate our good fortune."
Then he hands the bottle to the Dub.
The Dub nods his head in agreement, opens it and takes a few big swigs from the bottle, then gives it back to the Culchie.
The Culchie takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the Dub.
The Dub asks, "Aren't you having any?"
The culchie replies, "No. I think I will just wait for the guards…"!!!!!
:banghead::banghead::banghead:
oww my head :sad:
:69::69::69:
