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Purplerose
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 46
Straight Female, 48
0 km · Westmeath
Forum
Quote by Eden
Deceased buddy wrote me this one once, at least it was original! Worsh <<<<<<<<<<< hugs >>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Well its a rather longwinded tale!!
I'll try be as brief as possible.
As I shaved and made myself presentable for you, i heard a strange rumbling outside. I ran outside to take a look and was confronted by what can only be described as a "terror from beyond the stars"
it turns out a flying saucer had crashed in my garden. As I watched strange beings disembarked from it clad in metallic silver spacesuits. I knew there intentions weren't friendly when one of them fired a ray gun at me.
Luckily I jumped out of the way but my gardenshed wasn't so lucky. RIP sheddy!! I quickly grabbed my trusty machine gun which I keep in the kitchen cabinet (doesn't everyone I hear you say!!!).
I returned fire but sadly my wellplaced shots seemed to have no impact, sensing the futility of my situation I retreated inside. I barricaded myself in the downstairs loo, grabbing bottles of water and some canned goods to prepAre myself for the siege ahead.
They banged in the door awhile with no apparent structural damage. I sighed with relief only for the door to disintegrate with a blinding flash.
The aliens bore down on me and I considered using my bullets on myself but before I could move, they shot with me a tranquilizer and I awoke later to find myself aboard their ship with them about to perform sexual experiments on me.
I was horrified until they removed their spacesuits to reveal 3 sexy female humanoid type lifeforms who then spent several hours probing me deeply.
I did some probing myself, didn't want them thinking human males were pushovers, and finally several hours later they seemed satisfied.
They released me back to my home and returned in their ship to the planet lesbos. Unfortunately by this time it was too late for me to get coffee with you
this actually happened and anyonewho tries to claim that I fell asleep and woke up late to pick up people from the o2 is a damn liar and part of the government coverup to discredit my story!!
5/5 for originality.
Quote by user=Bog-Trotter
Calling all genuine Bi Lads, I have a very sexy Convincing Tv friend from London coming to stay In the Shannon area On Tuesday the 8th of June.
She's asked me if I could get some genuine Guys together that would be interested in giving her a good seeing to and showing her exactly horny us Irish guys can be( This will be a Max of 3 guys plus myself). She's a demure Pretty girl, but has an insatiable craving for cock, so Lads if you think you can be in the Shannon area on the date in question get in touch and I will send you more details including pictures of her.
is a genuine advert, and I expect to hear from genuine people, and please express why you think you should be selected.
2. Unimaginative one line emails or simple pics requests will not be responded to.
can Only Happen In Shannon as she's stopping over en route to the states for her Holidays, if you can't make it there don't waste your time or mine mailing me in conjunction with it.
Bog-Trotter.
Thanks for the resounding response, we Just require one more genuine guy, so lads get in touch.
Calling all genuine Bi Lads, I have a very sexy Convincing Tv friend from London coming to stay In the Shannon area On Tuesday the 8th of June.
She's asked me if I could get some genuine Guys together that would be interested in giving her a good seeing to and showing her exactly horny us Irish guys can be( This will be a Max of 3 guys plus myself). She's a demure Pretty girl, but has an insatiable craving for cock, so Lads if you think you can be in the Shannon area on the date in question get in touch and I will send you more details including pictures of her. is a genuine advert, and I expect to hear from genuine people, and please express why you think you should be selected.
2. Unimaginative one line emails or simple pics requests will not be responded to. can Only Happen In Shannon as she's stopping over en route to the states for her Holidays, if you can't make it there don't waste your time or mine mailing me in conjunction with it.
Bog-Trotter.
Once met a Tv in a Limerick Hotel and they answered the door wearing 5 dresses...all on top of each other, told me they wanted me to peel them off one by one like layers, I got to Number 4 and the zip stuck, I had lost interest by then so I left, they started crying and asked 'well can we go for a pint at least'?..lest to say I declined.
Quote by user=alan-ball
note to Dragon's Den ... new gadget idea for "boys who like toys"... Man in the Boat Satnav (with verbal instructions in sexy sultry french voice)... but with go faster stripes of course....:evil2::evil2::evil2:
of cousre will need willing participants for R&D development
Would a copy of 'Grays anatomy' not be better?...and I mean the original not the TV series.
Whats the best way to Identify aforementioned Lunatics?Quote by user=Virgogirl
On site Knock...
Everyone loves to play Knock, but for me a player is someone male or female who has no respect for people feelings when it comes to sex...
Swinging should be about respect, but some take pleasure in messing, making life difficult for others by gossiping, having agendas, abusing friendships, playing the field on respective partners without their knowledge, meddling in peoples relationships then trying to look sqeaky clean afterwards, all of this smacks to me of the term being a player on a site and that is simply not males , females as well..
Virgo I would disagree with you there, the later half of that description sounds like a bloody mental case. Why would anyone try and mess up the relationships and private lives of a person they hardly know? sure we are all here just for the no strings adventures that can be had with other like minded souls?
Long Time forum reader, Not really first time poster.
I have been wondering now do some people spend they're waking hours on here?, I mean there are a few that seem to spend a candle lit vigil by the forums, ready to post a reply at hyper speed to the latest contribution to the threads, like a metaphorical fisherman encamped by his net, patiently waiting for a bite on his last line,a little nibble of a response, giving them the excuse to reply with another tawdry reply to the already mundane topic.
Don't these people have anything else to do with themselves?, a life to live? a job to do?
I mean for a site thats about swinging it amazes me to see the amount of tripe on the forums, if its not silly subjects 'what did you put in the washing machine first today' etc etc, it seems to be a baying mob complaining about the site and the people that try and run it(yet despite all your 'annoyance' at the site you spend an awful amount of time on here!!).
I wonder are these the same people that populate other forums throughout the web with they're inane banter, pontificating and sniping, who feel they need multiple outlets as possible to vindicate themselves?
These individuals really need to take a few days off from this site every once in a while,
(A) To let they're brains cool down( all the over heating means that similar topics merge and everything they write looks the same) and
(B) To give other site members a chance to post more constructive and meaningful content.
So I suggest breaking the cycle from time to time,it may do them some good!!!
Quote by user=fjvm9
WOW...I will post my CV to you..see do I come anywhere near the mark...
ooops sorry I just checked.. i will need to work on my tan ..lol
maybe the folks meeting you got a touch of inferiority complex... yah never know....
happy selecting...
f
your a bitter old soul arent you?
