...look, girls, here's what I think you should do...
1. Put everything down now and head over to my spanking new, updated profile.
2. Make yourself a cup of tea... it's more than four sentences long, so you may as well make a proper break out of it.
3. Read it... after all there aren't many pictures to look at, so you might as well.
4. Laugh.
5. Finish your tea and carry on as you were**
Thank you.
** could include other courses of action, such as surprising me with a witty/sexy/indulging message.