Are you open about your sexuality?
Do you prefer to keep it private from family and friends?
Only a few people in my private life know about my Bi-Sexuality, a few weeks ago I told a very old friend, who is gay, he was quite Being Bi-Sexual is IMO much more complex than any of the sexualties, because it is perhaps the most mis-understood by people in general..
Bi does not mean Gay, nor does it mean straight, I don't feel emotionaly attached to women, just phsyicaly attracted to them..
Many also see us as being greedy, very unfair and untrue, but it happens..
Another great thread.
To be totally honest, it is since I joined here and met some amazing people that I started to admit to myself that I am bi-sexual. And now that I have admitted it to myself, I am much more confident in myself and happier too.
However, coming from a very religious family background, I at times do feel alone as I know I can't tell them or I will be disowned and frownded upon.
Bi-sexuality is not something that we just make up, it is who we are just as those who are Gay are made that way as are people who are straight.
I wish I could confide in family, but I know I can't. It is just a few friends from here that know and friends who do not live in the same place as me. As far as Ireland has come in accepting people, there are still pockets of communities that still will not accept, and until I move and get my own place, I can never truly be free.
Most people know about me,,,,family, work,,,mates...i do go around TELLIN people,,,but if it comes up Ive no qualms about lettin them kno...
My parents wish id make up my mind one way r the other...( n settle down !!),,,my grand mother once told me she wished shed had options in her day ( poor woman didnt think lesbians existed til the 60s n the invention of the pill !! )
Its MY life, and I'll make no excuses to anyone for who r what I am..great if u like me,,,,tuff if u dont
I am open to those within swinging community I always let people know before we meet. but I Keep this as a part of my private life and I dont share it with any of my real world friends.
Most of my friends know but i would never tell my mother she would skin me alive:taz:
I suppose anyone close to me knew years ago but its only in the last 3 years i've started to tell people slowly. Up to a month ago and for the last 3 years i was on a dating site, joined up only for a month at the time but ended up getting involved in organizing events days/nights out and weekends away all over the country. As i was involved in this i was very well known around the site and was looked at as a wee bit of a ladies man,So obviously no one knew my sexual preferences and wanted to keep it that way. Yesterday evening a friend of mine from the other site rang to say a thread had gone up called ""hetersexual and whoops - I'm gay!"" there was a good few homophobic remarks made and some bulling has set in as well. I cant stand bulling its the pits. So i reactivated my account and put this up
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I'm posting this thread for two reasons, firstly for certain comments that were left on "hetersexual and whoops - I'm gay!" thread but for more importantly for the growing number of people in our society who live there lives in great fear of not been excepted because of there sexuality. For most who haven't been come out, they are caught up in this still homophobic society were its a daily battle to come to terms with there true identities and of course the social stigmata of been very different in the eyes of straight people.
Weather it be Gay, Lesbian, Transsexual/Transgender, or Bi-Sexual its a simple equation they are who they are its as simplistic as that, there's no scientific or chemistry fancy explanation for there sexual preferences or emotional needs and nor should there have to be. Its quiet simple life.
I can understand why so many people have problems and issues with homosexuality, sure isn't it within the framework of all main-stream church teaching in Ireland that homosexuality is denounced as a sin, and an act of sodomy..
Now if you are a Bi-Sexual then you are deemed as homosexual, thus you are shunned by the church, no wonder so many people especially men are loathe to declare they are indeed Bi. Many people now days of course don't have religion but these ideas have been past down from generation to generation so they filter rite into the mind sets of so many folks.
I myself am Bi-Sexual, for the innocent or smiley's faces out there, this means i am both mentally and sexually attracted to men and woman. For many years i repressed this and fought tooth and nail with my sexuality and up until not so long ago i was still fighting but i'm finally at piece with myself and fully aware now of who i am, i'm now comfortable with the fact that i'm Bi-Sexual. I'm not worried about anyone judging me nor do i give a fiddlers what people think. Am i happy, yes. Would i change it, hell no, this is who i am.
Like i said this post is for the Gay, Lesbian, Transsexual/Transgender, or Bi-Sexual people living in fear and limbo among us......Talk to someone.... Make piece with yourselfs...Be who you want to be....Theres a whole new world out there......Mark
I got a lot of mails last night about it, some for support, some nasty but i also got a lot of mail from that i knew well enough admitting they were either Bi or gay but didn't want to come out of fear really. The response has been crazy, 3 new threads went up today tackling all issues about coming out and so on. It was great to see it
Well done number seven, an excellent retort to all who are not prepared to accept those of us who don't fit into boxes:cheers:
ps I am having the dry boaks, because I was asked tonight over a drink, can you bring a friend???????
I am Bi not a feckin pimp!!!!
No I can bloody not, because I don't feckin want to!!!!!!!!
Lol. So I left him sitting in the bar..lol. and walked out:giggle:
My apologize about that Vigrogirl sorry if i offended you. When i said could i bring a friend i meant the drink Johnny Daniels, nice fella, bit sore on the head though. Maybe we could reschedule.
Numberseven, I commend you for your post. Why anyone would feel the need to mail you with negative comments is beggars belief! Anyway fair play too you, for being both frank and honest.
Being Bi does have its draw backs, particularily to the Bi male community on here, most are married including me. In essence most want to keep that private and rely on discretion. What you endured was Both hatefull and woofull and should not be permitted. I suggest any Hatefull emails on site be brought to the the attention of the Mod/Admin team.
Theres never any shortage of lemmons. Ill even bring a liccle umbrella as well to keep the sun of your drink so your ice doesn't melt prematurely. Maybe some after-eight as well, or after-midnights even. Ok im starting to babble.
Personaly my fear is of my mother finding out and running around after me with the holy water and a big butchers knife...ok it sounds funny but been gay/bi is not something she understands as she was raised in the 1950`s and that kind of thing did not happen lol.
Oh yeah outed teddy the other night by accident, we had a friend up and i was trying to show him a certain picture...he was right up at the screen and as fast as i tried to go he spotted a picture of teddy been durty with another bloke, teddy wanted the ground to open up i just wanted to kick the friend and tell him to sit down so i could find the pic i wanted. But he is a good friend and we know he will keep it to himself.
I suppose the answer is NOT ... but then again whether Bi or Straight how open are we about our greater interest in sex ... had we a time consumming interest in sports, drama or politics people would think nothing of it ... but what may be percieved as a greater interest than the "man/woman in the street" is akin to being a deliquent ... despite the various womens & men magazines doing surveys or articles on "how to improve your sex life" ... sex is for people in relationships ... by all means have fun but ONLY with your current partner ... that fun may be had with different or occassional partners, (meet throught a Swinger site), is never countinenced in the articles or in everyday thought or conversation.
If there is to be honesty it should perhaps start here on Swing ... be honest with fellow members ...let then know your (if applicable) maritial status , sexual status, interests, likes & dis-likes and above all if you are only on Swing to socialise & chat but never meet people, well let them know, don't lead people on.
Honesty on first Swing & in time as attitudes change then we can begin with relations & friends.
ps I am having the dry boaks, because I was asked tonight over a drink, can you bring a friend???????
I am Bi not a feckin pimp!!!!
lol Virgo....I have recently being asked and asked by a guy I havent even 'met' yet can I organise to bring a 'friend'?? Cheeky Fucker - yeah might bring a 'friend' but mightnt show up myself then just because he keeps harping on about it :fuckinghell:
Like raven, my fear also would be of my Mum finding out too. But apart from Holy Water, it would be to the people with white coats she would bring me and see could they fix me......
Life is for living, but right now, I have to be discreet.
Im beginning to think my parents are a little unusual.............
Yeah he could have been doing a lot worse things or people lol
Well I don't go around announcing to family and friends I am a swinger, so the same with being Bi, it is private..
I don't have to declare my sexuality in any offical capacity, so really there is no need to go anoucing it to anyone..
I don't believe that anyone should have to be open about who or what they are even on a swing site, as many people have private reasons for not doing so.
having posted about honesty I have updated my profile ... time will tell if I get a different reaction, although I know my friends on here remain my friends regardless of information on a profile.
A few of my nieces know I'm bisexual as I told them (good aul spin the bottle lol)
I can't see why I should hide my sexuality from anyone be it family or friends. If I'm asked I will be honest and say bisexual if they have a problem with it, it's their problem not mine.
And Mammeeeee if you are reading this I was gonna tell ya :lol2:
quote user=Amberx]A few of my nieces know I'm bisexual as I told them (good aul spin the bottle lol)
I can't see why I should hide my sexuality from anyone be it family or friends. If I'm asked I will be honest and say bisexual if they have a problem with it, it's their problem not mine.
And Mammeeeee if you are reading this I was gonna tell ya :lol2:
Spin the bottle lol.....Amber if your mamme is reading this, you'll probably have more question for her then she does for you:grin:[