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Why are the singles single?

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Ok.....I suppose I;d better explain the title for this thread before I pose that question. It came up in a conversation recently that the reason someone wouldnt invite single men to their parties was because....if they were so hot and decent.....then surely they wouldnt be single!!!! As if they were decent.....then they would be able to keep a woman...or a woman would want to keep them. That they must have something wrong with them to still be single!! In answer to that couples ideas....I thought it might be interesting to hear the opinions of the singles on here...and that of couples who meet singles. So....tell me.......why is it the singles....are single?
Hi mona i'm a single because i just haven't met the right lady yet tried loads of times but keep on been let down so i'm just here now for the banter and craic and to meet some nice ladys along the way.
I was a single female on this site for over a year, and although I may not be gods gift to men, I would also consider myself not the worst looking woman you could ever meet. When I was on as a single woman I only met single men, all of whom I got on with very well. Men and women are single for many reasons ... through choice, because they haven't met 'the one', because they have have previously been in a destructive relationship, because they have a lot going on in their lives and can't give 100% to a relationship... the list is endless. There are hundreds of fantastic, happy, lovely, outgoing, friendly, open, intelligent singles on this site, many of whom I am happy to call my friends. There is someone out there for everyone, and if we all found they same looks / personalities attractive there would be many more single people out there. Embrace who you are and be happy with yourself, it's better to be on your own than with someone who isn't right for you. And finally....... a lot of the singles on here are beautiful on the inside and outside, and if your eyes are blinkered you might just miss a great opportunity
Quote by user=shavenhaven
I was a single female on this site for over a year, and although I may not be gods gift to men, I would also consider myself not the worst looking woman you could ever meet.
When I was on as a single woman I only met single men, all of whom I got on with very well.
Men and women are single for many reasons ... through choice, because they haven't met 'the one', because they have have previously been in a destructive relationship, because they have a lot going on in their lives and can't give 100% to a relationship... the list is endless.
There are hundreds of fantastic, happy, lovely, outgoing, friendly, open, intelligent singles on this site, many of whom I am happy to call my friends.
There is someone out there for everyone, and if we all found they same looks / personalities attractive there would be many more single people out there.
Embrace who you are and be happy with yourself, it's better to be on your own than with someone who isn't right for you.
And finally....... a lot of the singles on here are beautiful on the inside and outside, and if your eyes are blinkered you might just miss a great opportunity

Shaven I was sitting here thinking of what to say and I don't think I could of put it better than that to be honest!! :thumbup:
Not to confuse the issue, but those on the site that are indeed single, well great that they have a place to come to chat, amongst other things, but the majority are not as single as they'd like us all to assume.
They may indeed have set up a profile saying they are single, simply to let others know they are only here for their own benefits, and they either don't want their partner involved or the partner knows nothing of their 'alternative' lifestyle.
No need to single out either gender here, those that swing solo do so for reasons that only they can clarify, but just wish to make the point that being single and playing alone doesn't mean the same thing ;)
Quote by user=shavenhaven
I was a single female on this site for over a year, and although I may not be gods gift to men, I would also consider myself not the worst looking woman you could ever meet.
When I was on as a single woman I only met single men, all of whom I got on with very well.
Men and women are single for many reasons ... through choice, because they haven't met 'the one', because they have have previously been in a destructive relationship, because they have a lot going on in their lives and can't give 100% to a relationship... the list is endless.
There are hundreds of fantastic, happy, lovely, outgoing, friendly, open, intelligent singles on this site, many of whom I am happy to call my friends.
There is someone out there for everyone, and if we all found they same looks / personalities attractive there would be many more single people out there.
Embrace who you are and be happy with yourself, it's better to be on your own than with someone who isn't right for you.
And finally....... a lot of the singles on here are beautiful on the inside and outside, and if your eyes are blinkered you might just miss a great opportunity

Shaven you have expressed so eloquently my thoughts on this subject. Nothing more needs saying. A thought provoking thread and a superb post by Shaven.

Amazing what a difference two letters make, let me demostrate......
'It came up in a conversation recently that the reason someone wouldnt invite single WOmen to their parties was because....if they were so hot and decent.....then surely they wouldnt be single!!!!
As if they were decent.....then they would be able to keep a man...or a man would want to keep them. That they must have something wrong with them to still be single!!'
I understand that it is felt a solo male at a party does not always behave in a respectful manner and may seem to view the access he has to other men's wives as a meat party. Experience has shown this is not an absolute, there are some FANTASTIC single guys here. I also refuse to believe a band of gold automatically renders a man the epitome of chivalry and respect. People have the right to set their own parameters and choose who attends their parties. I would never suggest otherwise but I just want to say on this matter........ there are solo males on this site who have shown themselves to be outstanding human beings and I would be hard pressed to find their match amongst the general social scene.
Im single because of my 27 chins, 38 facial moles and constant twitching:giggle: Na seriously - im single because i am - i wont jump into a relationship for the sake of it - but wouldnt rule one out if a nice guy came along. Never say never and all that and i think that if you look too hard no one will come along. Just my twopence worth !
Quote by user=midnightchat

Amazing what a difference two letters make, let me demostrate......
'It came up in a conversation recently that the reason someone wouldnt invite single WOmen to their parties was because....if they were so hot and decent.....then surely they wouldnt be single!!!!
As if they were decent.....then they would be able to keep a man...or a man would want to keep them. That they must have something wrong with them to still be single!!'
I understand that it is felt a solo male at a party does not always behave in a respectful manner and may seem to view the access he has to other men's wives as a meat party. Experience has shown this is not an absolute, there are some FANTASTIC single guys here. I also refuse to believe a band of gold automatically renders a man the epitome of chivalry and respect. People have the right to set their own parameters and choose who attends their parties. I would never suggest otherwise but I just want to say on this matter........ there are solo males on this site who have shown themselves to be outstanding human beings and I would be hard pressed to find their match amongst the general social scene.

The problem here is sterotyping, ok we've all done that in the past i know i have done although i try not to as i know it's not a fair thing to do. People are entitled to set whatever criteria they please and i know most of the parties that are advertised say "sorry males are not allowed to attend this party" actually i often laugh at that & i mean the wording does that mean it will only be women at the party lol but i do know what's meant by it biggrin I don't know about the parties that are not advertised but i am sure it is the same situation for the most part.
As has been said you could say the same thing for single women on the site, each person should be judged on his / her merits and not put into a category but i know that will never change.
Also we can never know why someone is single or the circumstances of their lives at the moment so you can't really say oh they're single for reason x y & z and decide what kind of person they are on that basis, being single isn't something that people should be ashamed of male or female. I am no longer single myself but when i did start seeing someone i didn't change into a completely different person as a result overnight.
People are single for all sorts of reasons. We were all single once, although for some of us its a dim and distant memory smile Some people are arseholes regardless of relationship status or sex. Although I did wonder what happens to people who are single and meet someone whos outside the lifestyle. What happens then ?
Quote by user=1yummymummy4u
Although I did wonder what happens to people who are single and meet someone whos outside the lifestyle. What happens then ?

I think it all depends if the individual wants to continue swinging, then take it from there.
I wouldn't be revealing too much after meeting a guy a couple of times, but if I thought it was going somewhere and we had a future together I would tell him then. Afterall he could be part of the lifestyle too.
Quote by user=1yummymummy4u
People are single for all sorts of reasons. We were all single once, although for some of us its a dim and distant memory smile Some people are arseholes regardless of relationship status or sex.
Although I did wonder what happens to people who are single and meet someone whos outside the lifestyle. What happens then ?

Not Much it seems Yummy going by Style5's post.......rolleyes
I'm single as I haven't met the right person yet, but to be honest, I enjoy the swinging and have made some great friends through it, and It never really comes to the forefront of my mind, the fact I am single.
As for the perception of single males going to parties, I've been to a few from here and have to say only6 once have I seen a situation where a single male was asked to leave. As for the reality of the no single males at party's thing, chances are the organizers have asked guys they know who have a good rep at parties, its not a matter of the women outnumbering the guys.
well im single for a lot of different reasons..one is i hav a son and for that reason im not going to bring just anyone into mine or his life as that wouldnt be fair and not everone woman out there can handle when a man has a kid as i have found out jn the past..another is i was in a relationship for all of my twenties and some of me 30s and now im enjoying my freedom..but who knows i might meet some one tomorrow and that might be it..i never close my mind to anyting but ...everyone has there own reasons but for me that it.
I'm single because the judge and the behavioural analysts made it a condition.......
:crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy:
TO BE REALLY HONEST I DONT THINK ANYONE SHOULD HAVE TO ANSWER THAT QUESTION NO BODY IS HERE TO BE JUDGED MEN AND WOMEN HAVE LOTS OF REASONS WHY THEY ARE SINGLE WHETHER THEY CHOOSE OR HAVE BEEN HURT IN PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS FAMILY REASONS,NO SOCIAL LIFE DUE TO WORK COMMITMENTS AND FAMILYworship FROM WHAT WAY I READ THAT TOPIC YOU MUST BE UGLY IF YOUR SINGLE,THERES PEOPLE ON HERE THAT ARE HAPPILY MARRIED MIA BUT SWINGING ON THEIR OWN ANSWER THAT ONE innocent
Quote by user=Titan79
People are single for all sorts of reasons. We were all single once, although for some of us its a dim and distant memory smile Some people are arseholes regardless of relationship status or sex.
Although I did wonder what happens to people who are single and meet someone whos outside the lifestyle. What happens then ?

Not Much it seems Yummy going by Style5's post.......rolleyes
Not sure what you mean there Titan??
Quote by user=Amberx
Although I did wonder what happens to people who are single and meet someone whos outside the lifestyle. What happens then ?

I think it all depends if the individual wants to continue swinging, then take it from there.
I wouldn't be revealing too much after meeting a guy a couple of times, but if I thought it was going somewhere and we had a future together I would tell him then. Afterall he could be part of the lifestyle too.

As Amber said it depends on the person, i can only talk for myself when i say i have no further interest in swinging at all now but other people in the same situation may feel differently.
Was in a relationship from 18-25. It didn't end for any bad reasons, guess we just came to the same conclusion that we should try other things seperately. So I'm happy enough to be going solo now at present. Having fun and answering to nobody.
I went out with a girl for a few years and it ended last year. I was glad it did as I wasn't happy in it. I am just enjoying the single life at the moment.
Quote by user=shavenhaven
I was a single female on this site for over a year, and although I may not be gods gift to men, I would also consider myself not the worst looking woman you could ever meet.
When I was on as a single woman I only met single men, all of whom I got on with very well.
Men and women are single for many reasons ... through choice, because they haven't met 'the one', because they have have previously been in a destructive relationship, because they have a lot going on in their lives and can't give 100% to a relationship... the list is endless.
There are hundreds of fantastic, happy, lovely, outgoing, friendly, open, intelligent singles on this site, many of whom I am happy to call my friends.
There is someone out there for everyone, and if we all found they same looks / personalities attractive there would be many more single people out there.
Embrace who you are and be happy with yourself, it's better to be on your own than with someone who isn't right for you.
And finally....... a lot of the singles on here are beautiful on the inside and outside, and if your eyes are blinkered you might just miss a great opportunity

Shaven what a fantastic reply thank you
Ive met some fantastic single fellas on here,all of whom are down to earth goodlooking witty intelligent and very charming,I don't think just because there on here that thers something wrong with them,most single guys here choose to be single,and enjoy this site for what it is having laughs,no strings sex,an nights out, I've made a few very good Friend's in some males on here an even txt day to day about all sorts,so i sure don't think singles are here because they have no other options ....its simple there here because like you and me they choose to be .....Thank god for single malesinnocent
Haha I don't agree at all Des. There are tons of reasons why a great guy might be single. I don't think I'm bad looking, and I'm a good bloke who cares about his better half when he is in a relationship and yet I'm single. Maybe you have a chip on your shoulder from a past experience? ;P
Kong.....thank you for your imput first an foremost, however I have to point out that it is not my personal opinion that made me start this thread. It was a conversation with a couple on here who were planning a party. It was the female of that couple's opinion that she didnt want single men there because as i said...if they were so hot, then they wouldnt be single and would be able to keep a woman. My own person opinion is like others on here....there are incredibly decent, intelligent, warm hearted and well mannered single men on the site. As there are some amazing married men too, great conversationalist and all round decent people. However as midnight pointed out, a wedding ring or girlfriend does not mean that all of a sudden the man is respectful, honest and hot. Thank you to everyone for their posts so far too.
Hi Mona, I think the lady of this couple needs to take a reality check, thats a pretty blinkered point of view in my opinion. Some 'need' a significant other, others don't. I know as many people in unhappy relationships as I do those in fulfilling ones, and through senses of loyalty/ having kids etc they remain together, this is a catch 22 situation. I think I said it before, but you can meet the person thats for you at any time, in any circumstances, and I'd personally keep my mind open in that respect, but I've no desire to seek the 'one'...whats meant for you wont pass you by, this I firmly believe in, I just think I'm on a motorway at the moment and the most of them are way over the speed limit 8)
i`m single cos by time i cop i`m in with a chance its normally two weeks too late
:laughabove: do whatever...simple honest answer
im single cause every woman i meet keeps mixing up me tablets banghead now the doctor says there off limits :upset: