I came to this site from another swing site after it was recommended to me by a friend . I have since joining had some very good meets and I also like to hold swing parties but was just wondering where has all the swingers gone as it appears to me that it is only a small group of people who meet up or attend parties and the majority of people say they will attend or send mutable e-mails then either cancel or just do not turn up .It really is a fantastic site with a large membership and I was just wondering if I could have everyone opinion on my observations in relation to amount of people who after send e-mails and texts just don't show or cancel at the last second .
We have found this too, sorry to have to say it but this site has become more of a social network site, yes ppl are here to make friends but should it not mainly be about meeting to have sex??
Jaysus yee must be doing something wrong, I've always gotten great value from the site with its intended purpose. I'm here almost 3 years and can't for once recall having such moments of inward reflection, thinking this was anything but a 'Swinging site'
True there are a lot of 'talkers'...that just do that, and more power to them, but there's as many here that do swing, As for non respondents to emails etc well, its peoples prerogative to choose not to reply to every mail they get, I've has more 'non responded emails' than responded, but I've persevered and gladly the few genuine folks with the same outlook and desires have more than balanced it out.
Just my few bob.
In relation to non responsive e-mails what I was trying to say is that its not the people who do not respond that is everyone's prerogative it is the people who send many e-mails asking every question you can think of and then after all of that and say they will attend the party or meet and at the last minute cancel
Swinging is not just about the sex - it's a lifestyle/community.
If you only want sex - there's plenty of 'gis a shag' type sites.
The charm of this site is that folks actually enjoy the social and friendly interaction as much as the actual sex.
I am not saying the site should be just about sex all i was asking is for an opinion on people who send many e-mails asking a lot of questions about a party or meeting up and then say they will attend or meet and then at the last second cancel i am not sure i like the implication that it is just sex i am asking about
Outdoorsins, please accept this response is not aimed at you or any material you have posted, nor any other posters on this forum. It is just a good post for some of us to air our own feelings on the matter and our observations. The 'this site is shite, no one is shagging' attitude is wearisome. As Titan has said, some have no problem gaining what they seek and plan on continuing this enjoyment for as long as possible. In this case I must say it seems you get out of it what you put into it. Numerous threads have been posted on why there is no response, why no meets etc. The response is always an overwhelming 'become active in chat, use the forums to familiarise other people with you, contribute in some way'. Time and time again you see the response to this....'oh I don't have time to dedicate to that' ...... well in that case stop your whinging, you wouldn't take up horticulturalism if you lived in a high rise flat and worked 12 hours a day now would ya......
As for those who seem eager to move forward, to actually meet and enjoy the site for what it was intended, I'm afraid we all learn at some point that some are just fantasists. Some like the idea of meeting, the thrill, the anticipation, the talk and build-up. While they may say to themselves they will meet, I'm unsure that they ever will. Some over-sell themselves, they discuss what they imagine themselves doing but have never done, but nerves or lack of confidence means they won't. They stress the 'performance anxiety' and bottle it then. To avoid admitting this they get bitchy or just straight out blank you... Without doubt some who have to cancel have genuine reasons, but their behaviour and how they handle this should sort the fantasists from the 'real swingers'.
It is partly due to this that people form their unofficial groups. I hate the 'C' word. They have met, they know that they will all contribute to a meet and have proven their demeanour. Or they have been mentioned by other friends. Time, effort, money and a lot of other factors go into a meet usually, to have it spoilt is shameful and as such people have every right to be defensive and protective of their enjoyment. After a while, and some disappointments, you develop your own trigger points, that make you say hmmmmmm not sure about this one, not gonna depend on it.
Excellent post again Mid. Hit home every point you made. Well said. :thumbup:
OutdoorSins:
Your original post obviously wasn't saying the site should be just about sex - I wasn't implying you were personally only after the sex either - my previous comment was in response to another member's post.
You're experiencing the same gripe many have with the 'TWONKs' - Time Wasters Of No Knowledge - who have you run rings to set up a meet then bottle it before D-Day.
Some don't have the balls they were born with to let you know and are just the 'No Show' type - these eejits talk the talk but never walk the walk.
The simply 'Spineless' call it off . At least they have the to disappear off into the sunset never to be seen on that profile again - which doesn't rule out their resurrection on a new profile!!
There will always be genuine reasons why plans have to be shelved or get changed - but then you'll be getting ongoing contact and a postponed meeting later down the line.
I am not saying the site should be just about sex all i was asking is for an opinion on people who send many e-mails asking a lot of questions about a party or meeting up and then say they will attend or meet and then at the last second cancel i am not sure i like the implication that it is just sex i am asking about
We all have our veiws on what a swinging site is about, and no member should be put down for theirs, we have friends on site but we did not join to make friends we joined to swing, we are not able to go to meets and greets so we dont use the site to socialise, we use it to have sexual meets, if friendships are gained along the way all well and good if not we wont be upset over it.
To each their own, so live and let live.
