Interesting post. On one level it occurs to me that the conversation you are suggesting guys have with their wives may be the one Tiger Woods tried to have that fateful night, so maybe dont overestimate the understanding of spouses!!
As for the issue of asking questions, looking for photos, details of how where and with what etc that is par for the course and is not a single guy issue Im afraid. I have spoken to loads of women (and indeed guys pretending to be women) and you pretty quickly realise they want to talk the talk but not walk the walk. I think guys are worse at it though. Pretty sure guys happy whack off chatting to couples and others about what they like etc.
If early on you are getting the bums rush about photos, contact details, then its generally a messer you are dealing with.
I think the majority of people on this site want to talk or listen to others and its purely a fantasy on their part. The trick is to work out who they are.
We have often went into chat at night looking for a single male, and the amount that will say they are up for it is unreal, but so often when it comes to the crunch of actually meeting they back out, for one reason or another.
Having been let down myself more than once I was at a loss as to how intimidating a single femme could be. I couldn’t understand why a single guy would back out of a meet. I talk for a long time before meeting so the time and effort spent on one person, for it to come to nothing, was frustrating.
I can only think that on this site we have the ability to talk things up so much, to discuss our physical wants and how we envision the meet going that before we even get together we have enormous expectations. I think for some single men, the fantasy carries them away. They are convinced it is what they want and when they talk the talk they genuinely mean it. It is only when the reality is so close that self-doubt creeps in and male insecurity rears its bloody head. I understand men may have performance anxieties and how this may have a domino effect on the actual meet. If I as a single femme can be intimidating, I would imagine it is doubly intimidating to meet a couple.
I’m in no doubt there is a sector of men on here simply for the talk, pics and cams. For those single guys who genuinely want to meet all I can say is jump on in there. So what if your first meet isn’t all you can hope for, a lot of people here will say neither was theirs. It will get better. As for performance anxiety……. Without being overly crude all I can say is………. Darlin you may cum fast the first and even second time, by the third you’ll be playing your A-Game. :smoke:
:laughabove::laughabove::laughabove:
Must send all the newbies to you so you can train them in for us:giggle:
There does seem to be an epidemic of male cold feet lately.
I wonder if there is a jab for it or maybe a good kick in the ..... would cure it:kick::giggle:
Great post as always midnight :thumbup:
Well Said Midnight,
I think you've smacked it right on the head.
Personally speaking I used to always have a slight bit of anxiety on every first meet, through experience and using a set formula of talking in dept before hand, and not developing expectations of how a meet will go, has taken that anxiety out of the equation.
Lads, Don't ever presume because you have been chatting on here or by phone for x amount of weeks months etc you will automatically fall into each others arms and rock the Rafters til the small hours. People can find when they do meet that one party may not be as keen as the other. So best Advice I would give is, go On the basis your going to have an enjoyable night in a like minded persons company, have a drink and relax. If the sparks there in both people, things will work out as they are destined to.
*Pleasantly Surprising the Ladies of swing4ireland since 2008*
Great thread and can I firstly sympathise with necpl for their experiences.
I have to admit, that at the beginning on here, I was a little frustrated that maybe I would be put into a category of been the single male and etc etc wont turn up or what ever.
But over time I have just been me on here and I must say I have met some lovely people. I do realise that there are those who feel that a meet is just about sex, well for me it isn't. The reason....we are all nervous about meeting people and for some its a huge step.
We can all joke and laugh about sex etc in chat or with our friends, but at the end of the day, no matter how we put it, it is a huge step that is filled with nerves etc etc. Will the person like me, what if they think I am too fat or too thin etc?
All I can say to anyone on here is, just be yourself at all times. While I am a big guy, people on here don't see me as big, rather they see whats inside, and afterall, we all have special talents...:lick:
But to anyone who has been lucky enough to have been invited to a meet and greet, or just to meet one or more people, please be honest and up front if you are not going to attend. It is ban manners and rude to let people down and paints a very bad picture of the rest of us.
Play hard :doggy:.......and Play safe:thumbup:
Sorry to hear you've had a bad experiences but i think we've all been there men, women & couples alike it's an issue that will never go away as long as you have any kind of dating and or sex / swinging sites then there will always be people who will talk about meeting but have never any intention of it and are only there for for their own amusement.
There is only so much you can do to avoid this happening, personally i never look at comments that are on someones profile or if someone is established, for myself i think those are a waste of time & don't prove anything at all.
Chance Favours The Prepared Mind
Have to say, your all right, there is no difference between single male/female or couples on here and this subject. Myself and limgirl have had this happen to us.
Meets planned with a couple that didnt turn up, and that was just for coffee during the day,
Single guys, lets not go there, in the past we have tried to arrange with 5 so called single guys, and apart from one guy that did have a very good reason for cancelling, the others did not, they pulled out with the "i just got called into work" excuse, more like "my wife just called me for my dinner", one guy tried to change it into a gangbang, and wanted to invite the world, and we're talking not from this site,
and then there's the couples where all of a sudden the wife is poorly and wont be able to attend, or isnt in the mood, but the guy still willing, do me a favour, we are not that silly,
There is something annoying about talking to someone and there all, "yeah, cant wait for next week, " to, "i might have to go to outter mongolia that day",
We are not allowed to name and shame, and that is understandable, some do have valid reasons for cancelling, but for all the time wasters, please remember, swinging is like world war intelligent offices from different countries, we do pass info around friends, all on here do, and in the end your €60 a year to try to get a few past your partner really wouldnt be worth spending.
Just a point, out of the 5 guys we looked at, 2 of them left the site rather fast, one of them only the other week, and no longer showing up on my instant messenger. so, that was another guy that got caught my his wife,
Have to say, wouldnt this look good on divorce papers, lol
12 months on swing4ireland €60
price of divorce lawyers, €7000
the look on someones face hearing the reason there partner is divorcing them in court and telling friends, pricless,
theres so much more to swinging, lol
As long as you dont vomit at the crucial time midnight :doh:
Well there are a few people i can think of that i wouldnt mind spewing on lol and it would have nothing to do with nerves:devil:
ahhh the nerves, although some think it dont affect the guys, our beely's are doing flips too, but we're not aloud to show it, lol, but isnt that all part of the fun, the first time nerves, lol,
thankfully we have beer, and vodka, and all those other lovely mind soothing beverages,
Alcahol, helping swingers relax since 1961, lol
Key material ingredients for a successful meet......... vodka and condoms. I've just realised I have only met once without alchohol in my system. My name is Midnight and I have a problem!
There does seem to be an epidemic of male cold feet lately.
hwoar:
