Mona an excellented and well thought out post, I look forward to reading the replies, and also hope this encourages the guys to take that step and come join us at the meet and greets.
Brilliant Post Desdemona!
I would like to reassure the folks planning to attend their first Meet-And-Greet soon that:
a] we don't eat the Newbies at their first event - not all in one sitting; :giggle:
b] these events are a great social occasion where friends meet - sometimes for the first time, but very rarely the last time;
c] none of us have "Swinger" tattooed across our foreheads - so we don't stand out from the rest of the patrons of the bar/club/hotel etc;
d] if you plan to arrive early - you will be eased into the event slowly by the Organisers - rather than have to face walking into a very busy room full of folks already fraternising;
e] if you go easy on the alcohol and pace yourself - the worse sort of embarrassments can be avoided;
f] you should expect nothing more than a pleasant night out with charming company and then you will never be disappointed.
Above all, have an open mind and a sense of humour and you will have a brilliant time and who knows - make some great connections .. .. ..
Marie
Cork-AllFirstFridays-club/Marie's Meets
Cork's monthly meeting club for adults who love music, dancing and socialising
hi mona well said hunni haveing meet as a cpl and a single fem i have meet lots of new friends and hope to make a lot more if they come too the meets and greets . i think it is great way of putting faces to the addys xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx suzie
Slow hand...thank you for your honesty in your post.
I thought i might share my first experience of a meet and greet.
I went to it on my own, not knowing anyone, I;d spoken to one person who was attending on the phone but other than that i only knew the meet organisers from seeing them on cam.
When I went in I stood back for ages trying to figure out who was part of the meet and who was in the bar for a normal saturday afternoon.
Bare in mind I'd arrived early. then the organiser came over and took me over to a group of them all chatting and introduced me to them and vice versa. I then sat with a few of them for a while and we chatted politely. Later that evening when i;d plucked the courage to leave my hotel room I went into the venue on my own and stood by the bar.
People know me now and being really chatty but i wasnt always. I chatted to a few people that evening about this and that....journey to get there...how long theyd been on the site.......anything really.
It was in the days and weeks after that i got chatting in the chatroom to people who had also been there and in turn arranged to meet them either for fun or as coffee buddies.
My next meet I knew more people...the one after even more....and so it went.
Dont worry about what to say, most of us are a friendly bunch and will talk the hind legs of a donkey.
As for knowing who is part of the meeet and greet and who is not....well the organisers usually reserve an area solely for their use or a function room too.
At a meet and greet I was at before xmas the organisers put tiny heart stickers on people so we all knew that everyone with a sticker was on s4i.
I will also add that at my first meet and greet I bumped into a friend of my sister in laws.......so these things can happen.....but sure they were there for the same reason.
As for the meet and greet venue getting out and your presence at it being made public....that is why the venue and lists are keep secret and only those on the list can attend.
All I can say is....put your namedown.....go for a while....give it an hour or two.....as marie says....arrive as early as you can.....and meet the organisers.....chat to a few others about being nervous....we've all been there....and we;ve come out the other side of it too...... unharmed.....lol
a great thread, and reminds me not only of the nerves before a meet&greet but the little bit of nerves before every meet ...but it is that nervous anticipation ...the butterflies ...sure a meet wouldnt be the same without it.
the nerves are natural...I am sure may guys here are involved in sports competitions....the nerves before a game...its what gives you your edge...desire to do well...perform at your best...
& perhaps there in lies the crux of the problem... before a game you plan, train, exercise, know what you opposition will do.... it is a little more difficult to train for meets...but the more you go to the better you get...so take every opportunity you can to go to a meet&greet.
your first meet& greet is more akin to going to the teenage disco ... you want to go but feel ackward, afraid you will say something stupid & make a fool of yourself...but guys the girls & couples feel the same way.
... worse even because for the girls they begin wondering what to wear, hair, make-up, their figure....
so everyone is in the same boat...unfortunately because of the secrecy requirement it isnt even possible to ask in the chatrooms who is going....so you may be going alone & have to walk into the room alone...
that walk in is perhaps the hardest part of the evening...walk in, look round, head straight to the bar....safety of a drink....
perhaps it is something the hosts need to look at...how to make people feel comfortable as they enter.
I like the idea of people having a little sticker on their shirt, in a public area it means you can spot the other like minded people...& even then it is difficult to make that opening conversation...but "do you come her often" can be the ice breaker....
at the meet&greet progresses you quickly realise everyone is the same as you, just ordinary folks out having a drink, meeting with friends & being friendly.
Marie recommends going easy on the booze...a good idea...you dont want to much dutch courage
move round the room, just chat & say hi, listen, be interested & dont try to be what your not.
I have gone to a few meet&greets now...enjoyed everyone...they were all slightly different but most of all I met people, people I chatted to in the rooms, virtual friends that I wanted to meet & that wanted to meet me ... the meeting was about meeting as friends,making new friends anything else was a bonus ... and after the meet I had lots of new aquaintances to chat to in the rooms, to follow up by email & people to meet for coffee...
remember no one is expecting perfection ... but in someones eyes you may be perfect ... so dont let the nerves get the better of you, you are here to meet people, people want to meet you & every now & then you have to step out from behind the computer screen.
just go...go with the flow...you know you want to & will regret if you dont.
since going to my first meet & greet I have not looked back ... it was the jump start I needed...
So GO
Great Thread and have enjoyed reading the stories.
We are all newbees at some time, and it is difficult for some blokes to have the courage, as its so far out of their comfort zone. You also have the whole internet personality versus real personality things to get over. The amount of times i have met chatty whitty chatroom people who turn out to be shy and quiet in the real life kind of people.
Some like meet and greets and some don't. Personally i'm not really a fan of the big ones, as i have seen what happens when the beer gets on board of some people and they get a bit silly, and how they can spoil it for everyone else and can suddenly be happy to let the whole world that they are a swinger standing in a room of swingers.
If you know others that are going arrange to meet up with them and have a chat, and i would really agree on being early if you new as its much easier to be one of the first in and then you get to meet people as they arrive rather than to have to walk into a room full of strangers.
There are a few women in here that i call the Cougars (you know who you are) who are more experienced and well known that most, and i know that they scare some blokes, and the blokes feel they wont live up to expectations. I have had it said to me so many times and have been asked about how to get around it so many times, that i could write a book on it.
Its much easier for couples and Females as they are accepted much quicker than a lot of the males, but if you guys stick at it and have the courage to attend you will perhaps have your opportunities greatly enhanced and have a whole new world of fun opened up to you.
Be nice to each other, have fun and stay safe and you won't go far wrong.
Sean xx
mona hun great post,,,,,but omg if i wasnt scared of going to a meet and greet ,,after reading all them comments i deff would be ,,,
guys its a great night out ,,chat,,,laugh,,,and have fun geting to know everyone,,,
and at the end of the day,,,if you dont want to go ,,,dont go ,,,so easy for all us experienced ppl to say it easy but you have to find that out foryourself by going,,
hope to meet you guys that do pluck up the courage to go ,,u will have a great time xxxx
lucyxx
This is an absolutely great thread+really does make great reading for anyone that has any doubts+nerves about going to a meet+greet for the 1st i am one of these,was hoping to venture to one this wkend but cant,i must say thanks for the honesty+speaking for myself the next time im thinking about going I dont think i'll feel as apprehensive from reading this...at least i hope not! Just like anything else it helps to hear from other people that have been in this kind of position before,so good on ye..
good post desdemona- u will be glad to know the list is now full for guys- there is even a waiting list !!
unfortunately a waiting list or not - chances are a lot of the guys just wont turn up.
I know quite a few on here personally having gone to meet and greets for the guts of a year and a half. I was scared shitless the first time i went to one - having travelled to clonmel on my own not knowing anyone. Within 5 mins i felt right at home.
1. its normally in a private function room under an assumed party name that ur given before hand.
2. Ive been recognised out in the pubs/clubs at night as ive put my face on cam - answer - he must be on swing as well and so is there for the same reason. Id rather u come up and say hi than sit in the corner and snigger.
3. You dont go in and start talking flirtatious/durty straight away - it would be a long night if ya did - swingers - even us more experienced ones - do talk about mundane things !!!!!
4. ive been told that i come across as an agressive female in chat but actually in person im lovely:giggle:
But seriously guys - we hear all the time about it being so hard for you to get to know girls in here - go to a meet and greet and the whole door for swing4ireland is opened up for you. Ul be amazed at how easy it is for you to talk in chat and as the females have met u in the flesh ul also be amazed at how many meets youll get out of it !!!!!!!!!!!!
Fantastic post Mona, should go a long way to encouraging single guys to come out to the meets:thumbup:
Attitude well said 2 and belive me you are very nice in person to chat 2
Excellent post Desdemona,
As a single I too was nervous attending my first meet !!! What if I am recognised, will I be ignored, how will I recognise the meet group !
All of my worries melted away as the organiser of the meet Marie called me and did the introductions. My halo fell off and has been known to go missing since.
I have met and made friends with some fantastic people ! So to all you single guys out there who have not yet tested the water at a meet, get in you will not want to leave !!!
well i havent had the pleasure of a meet and gret yet but when i do go to one ill just be myself and people will take me for who i am
The stories above give great insight. No shows are unforgivable in life in general
does that go for me too ding , a proper pervette , :huh :whistle :kiss
This is a great post and i am delighted to read all the comments.
I have only joined the site within the last 2 weeks and have started to think about agreeing ot go to one of the meet. However the problem i find is stopping me is that i am only 22 and single. I think that that is very young for the site and that i will be out of place in the meet and worst of all make other people feel uncomfortable.
I would like to know if this is a common problem or if i should hold of a few years before going as far as a meet and greet.
, let alone “sexually confident†swingers. Ok, laugh at the nervous new guy if you must, but I think it's a sad reflection on the Irish dating scene. Us guys rarely approach the people we fancy in a confident manner, instead falling back on drunken fumblings. Going from that to actually showing your face at a meet and greet and thereby identifying to yourself and everyone else you are a swinger?
Frankly I've been astonished at the number of males, females and couples who have revealed their faces on this site, either through pictures or webcams. Where do you get the balls to do that?:scared: There's a huge volume of people passing through this site (and at the meet and greets) that never become established members of the community, who don't become trusted fellow swingers, and you show your face to them?
Maybe some of the more experienced site members could post about their first meet & greet experience and how it went?
I would also be interested to hear if any of the established members have ever been recognised/identified as a swinger. I know there's an argument that if anybody recognises you it's because they have been on this site too, but surely, sooner or later, rumours leak out into the wider community where you live?
I am eternally Greatfull for that Invite)
Well from there the rest is History, I have had some great nights from this site, (not being a clubber anymore) I enjoy the meet and greets for the social side, and i have to say thats the way to treat it, if you do happen to get invited to play with a few sexy folks its just an added bonus.
As Mona said, the single guys are in short supply, I have been at loads of meets and its quiet disappointing to see so many sexy ladies left twiddling they're thumbs at the end of the night ( I do my best, but only so Much titan Luv I can spread around..joking)
So Lads, Get yer Fingers out, put the bit of effort in, the ladies are extremely approachable on the site, sure they might bust yer balls a bit in chat but its all in good fun and playing the ** cough** 'Mating Game' but believe me you will Kick yourself for not going, let not shyness be an issue, god Knows I am a shy person on the Bar scene....don't laugh yee fookers ...tis true....No One will make any judgments of you, any ridiculous expectations, just be yourself, and your good at being that so be natural. Go with the flow, and if you don't get together with anyone keep heart, getting to know the people socially first is one of the most important elements of Swinging, the sex is just the red cherry on top of a very enjoyable cake, with many great ingredients.
Ok Enough Of my banter,
Lads read this , get yer good shirt ironed, and stick a few creases in them jeans, and get yer ass to The meet and Greet on the 9th and the 10th.
I'll be the smiley fecker at the bar, ....mines a Pear Bulmers by the way 8)
assionkiss:
:happy:
Heat
