Actual ads from the Lonely Hearts pages of ' Ireland 's Own'
Heavy drinker, 35, Cork area. Seeks gorgeous séx addict interested in
a man who loves his pints, cigarettes, Glasgow Celtic Football Club
and has been known to start fights on Patrick Street at three o'clock
in the morning.
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Donegal man, 50, in desperate need of a rÃde. Anything considered.
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Grossly overweight Louth turf-cutter, 42 years old, Gemini, seeks
nimble séx-pot, preferably South American, for tango sessions,
candlelit dinners and humid nights of screaming pássion. Must have own
car and be willing to travel.
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Limerick man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks alibi for
the night of February 27 between 8 PM and 11:30 PM.
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Artistic Clare woman, 53, petite, loves rainy walks on the beach,
poetry, unusual sea-shells and interesting brown rice dishes, seeks
mystic dreamer for companionship, back rubs and more as we bounce
along like little tumbling clouds on life's beautiful crazy journey.
Strong stomach essential.
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Ginger haired Galway man, a troublemaker, gets slit-eyed and shÃtty
after a few scoops, seeks attractive, wealthy lady for bail purposes,
maybe more.
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Bad tempered, foul-mouthed old bástard, living in a damp cottage in
the arsé end of Roscommon, seeks attractive 21 year old blonde lady
with a lovely chest.
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Optimistic Mayo man, 35, seeks a blonde 20 year old double-jointed
super model, who owns her own brewery and has an open-minded twin
sister.
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Following a sad recent loss, teetotal Tipperary man, 53, seeks
replacement Mammy. Must like biscuits and answer to the name Minnie.
Thurles area.
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Bitter, disillusioned Dublin man, lately rejected by longtime fiancée,
seeks decent, honest, reliable woman, if such a thing still exists in
this cruel world of hatchet-faced bÃtches
o m g ..... such fine specimens of men , my gran used to read this mag every few weeks ... i dont recall any such adverts in it back then ..... wonder how much yer man would pay for an alibi ....
Didn't know anyone read Ireland's own anymore lol
And i really got a sense of deja vu......they read like a lot of the profiles here:small-print::evil2:
lmao some really classy guys there, :lol2: :lol2:
Dont do it lass you woud be safer in a cell with Dr lecter and a bottle of chianti.
maybe its the pinks knicks...try football knicks instead
Virgogirl
those knicks might get you Dunphy & Giles if you are really un-lucky...:moon:
you will never get your rugby team in them...:evil2:
:upset::violin: they never published my advert ... no wonder I am stuck with Pam & her 5 sisters ... bitter ould ones that wouldnt raise a pint ... minds there was stiff competition from the other adverts... sure I wouldn't stand a chance among that calibre of men ...:taz:
Male, 57, wtm meet strong hard working lady, age unimportant but must be fit. Must have at least 50 acres and own tractor with implements.
Ideally she should have a few wealthy old aunts and uncles with no other next of kin. Sexual prowess not important as I already have four sex mad lovers.
Male 57, wtm a womOn, does'nt have a tin opener, but does have a corkscrew:giggle:
47 year old virgin, not fussy on tin-opener, has a supply of semtex:mrgreen:
Male 57, has detonators:giggle:
47 year old soon not to be virgin, seeks twin buggy plus pusher of said buggy.
Must be very open minded and willing to share the mickey money:mrgreen:
Male 57, with blank ammunition seek lady :grin:
47 year old high maitenance virgin, seeking farmer, no sheep farmers need apply, I simply can't cope with the competiton..
I am soooooooooooo going to hell:giggle:
Male 57, fit as a kangaroo, seeks a timid sheep like lady, with a view to making wooly jumpers
Male, 57, Gigolo type, seeks lady, all major credit cards accepted. Has own built in card swiping machine
50 yr old northside Dub, has own starting handle, would make willing accomplice...some engine starting skills... Recent FAS course gradute...
FAS does that stand for "fucks anything standing"
Male 45 self starter (has own handle) seeks female with socket for recharging. Has an adaptor in case of voltage mismatch.
