I just wanted to share with ye, something that has really concerned me and I am wondering if it is normal practice.
Sometime ago, I sought an invite to a party that was advertised on here, and after sending a photo as was requested, I was told sorry, but you are over-weight, not fit, and you have a beard.
Now in the past few days, my path and the path of the organiser of that said party crossed, and they wanted to explain, that it was standard practice to have certain criteria in place before an invite was forwarded to single males.
1. Smooth shaven
2. Physically well maintained ie: Not fat or overweight.
I am curious, is this criteria standard practice for all parties that are advertised, or is it unique?
I do feel that discrimination on the basis of weight etc is so shallow and wrong.
Apologies in advance if anyone feels I am out of line in bringing this up, however, given I aint a small guy, I just want to prevent further embarassment in applying!!
dar4u
Your welcome hun,just cant stand the vanity of some people who the hell do they think they are talking to anyone like that.......are they that f**king perfect that anyone who doesnt meet their standards deseves to be treated like that.I THINK NOT..............TOSSER
PS-Hope this msg doesnt offend anyone else but people like that should know that that kind of behaviour is totally out of order and isnt axceptable.
That is disgusting behaviour both on a swing site or in everyday life. How dare they think it is ok to insult anyone on this site for how they look!
It makes me laugh to be honest all these ppl who have good looking on their profile and will only meet good looking fit ppl. Seriously who the hell do they think they are? We all may think we are gods gift to the world at times but that does not mean that we are everyones cup of tea or that everyone is going to think omg that person is sooo good looking and fit i want them so badly.
There are ppl on this site of all shapes sizes and looks and while some may not be to our taste we will not be so fecking rude to say no thanks we think your fat,ugly,too tall, too skinny or whatever we will just politely tell them that we are not available for a meet. There is no need to insult anyone.
Yes we may all want to shag the best looking person in the world but just because they are good looking does not mean they are good in bed or a nice person. We would rather have a nice person than a self centred ass hole who thinks they are gods gift.
Dar we are so sorry this happened to you, we haven't met yet but we would be honored to meet one of the nicest ppl on this site...and hey we are not supermodels either, just means there is more to get a grip of when been durty lol and teddy has a beard too...great for tickling the right places.
Dar I think for anyone to be treated like that is disgusting and appalling.........am a big gal myself and have been so lucky so far on this site that the people I have met have seen through my outer packaging to what hides inside.... People who think they are all that and a a bag of chips (crisps)......well usually they have their heads wedged so firmly up their arses they have no idea how the real world works.......chin up Dar xxxxxxxxxxxxxxanny
I have to completely agree with all the replies on this thread so far. In Gods name who do they want Brad and Angelina. I would prefer someone I can chat and have conversation and laugh with before swinging rather than some lookat me my pee is perfect person.
You would think that people on here would have got that message by now, that it takes all sorts and rule nothing out or in.
Dar I'm not sure I'd want to be at a party with such a tactless tosser any way.I think the replies have confirmed that these rude hosters are in the minority.
My rant - age should not be a criteria for parties either. :upset:
Is the complaint that the party organiser had an image criteria for the party or is it that they listed the reasons an applicant did not fulfill this criteria? If it is the latter then yes, the repsonse might have been handled better.
But if it is the fact that there was a 'suitable type' clause for this party then this is the organisers right. To dictate to a person who should be allowed to attend private functions is only a short step from telling anyone else attending the party........'oh and you will be expected to take one for the team'.
I don't attend parties so I am not defending my own actions here, I just think there is such a vast mix of people on this site that everyone has the potential to have a wonderful time. Accept each other as we are, either in looks or in opinions, move away from what you don't like and embrace what you do.
Dar, I’m sorry you felt insulted by the hosts fairly tactless way in which they dealt with you, butI have to say I agree with midnight and blondie on this issue. Whilst the party host may not have been the most tactful, they are within their rights to chose who it is they feel comfortable playing with from the replies they receive. Its always best to be clear on advert what a host is looking for in fellow swingers whom they hope to play with, its also very important that ppl reading the adverts, actually read the requirements. There are lots of party adverts that do no require persons like myself to apply because of my age and size, so therefore I don’t send in a request, it doesn’t bother me in slightest. I think common sense should prevail and ppl should understand everyone is entitled to their own preferences regarding age, size, looks etc etc.
It would seem we are in agreement so that it is not the criteria for the party that was offensive but the response received. Without the benefit of reading the exact transcript of the response sent to Dar, and not his interpretation, I would imagine that the party organiser foolishly went with brutal honesty as the best policy.
Feelings have been hurt, people are indignant at the offense. This is real life........... we all experience it and we are inviting further heartache if we imagine it will be any different on the virtual world. One point to consider...... on the chat room a comment was made on main chat denegrating skinny people. Not one person objected, would the room have been as silent if it had been a fat joke? If we are going to be P.C. let it be across the board.
Ok, just to clarify matters here. The party that I had applied to had NO criteria listed in the advertisment. It was the party host who contacted me seeking a photo. And it was the party host who then replied by stating that I was FAT, NOT FIT, and had a GOTEE.
Nobody is in any position to judge anyone by way of photos. And neither are we here to judge anyone in any other case either.
I just felt totally dejected by the remarks given to me, and been a Host myself, I would never be so hurtful to anyone.
What then defines someone as been attractive??????
No one defended blunt honesty............
I posted that before you editted your post to remove some of your original text Dar. As I said feelings were undoubtedly hurt and in no way do I make light of that. The fact that people found this in poor taste and defended you is admirable. Now this issue has been highlighted I am sure party organisers will take this on board when next advertising.
It is a persons right to determine what they wish to achieve at a party that I was defending. Attraction cannot be forced, if it could why do we bother filling out profiles in the first place showing us as people and who we want to meet. Discretions and tastes are not left in the cloak room when signing in...... I accept I will not float everyone's boat nor will they mine. I guess my point is, what if that person had simply said to you sorry we are full now. Is it fair of them to allow you to continue applying for their parties knowing full well their feelings on the matter?
I said is it fair of them to allow you continue applying knowing they were never going to accept, not fair on them. Again is it fair of them to ignore your request and allow you to continue applying. Your point is valid that it was insensitive to reply and discuss your physiology, it is not fair to run people down for having preferences though. By being on this site I am not saying I am willing to meet with anyone I would not welcome the advances of in a more main-stream setting.
If I applied for a party and was turned down because it is 20-30 age group, like you have done, I would say ffs why didn't they put that on the ad. Can I complain because they have set tastes; no.
well as a host to parties we do not take looks shape or size into account we take there personality into account so it means that peeps are from all walks of life and all get on so please do not look at the package look at the person in whole now that is all i have to say and i hope all that came to our parties feel the same
well as a host to parties we do not take looks shape or size into account we take there personality into account so it means that peeps are from all walks of life and all get on so please do not look at the package look at the person in whole now that is all i have to say and i hope all that came to our parties feel the same
In my interactions on this site I do not take looks or walks of life into consideration, I am friendly with people with personality. In terms of actual meets, I meet who I am attracted to. My preference is towards men over 6 foot, masculine and dark haired. Only one of my meets has actually had all these attributes. At the end of the day I was attracted to the person and the social aspect I would enjoy on these meets. Would I agree to meet someone knowing full well they intended it to be more than a social meeting and I would have no interest in this - no!
Dar4,
Thank yourself lucky you never went to their party. Infact did it materialise? Their loss, not yours. Happy
Ur one of the most genuine guys Ive ever met and whatever tosser said that to you well it was his loss not Ur's,and its pricks:wank: like that(excuse the pun) who give swing sites a bad rep.
If anyone spoke to me like that I wouldn't be long putting them back in their box,A little tact goes a long way if someone isn't your cup of tea just a simple no would suffice or simply we have too many single males,but to be that rude was completely uncalled for....
Think I owe you a :lick::evil2:
