I am writing the following as a member and not as a Mod,
yes believe it or not us Mods have opinions on things too!
After a rather exceptionally busy day at 'Chat towers' I have to say the amount of un solicited whispering and general nastiness I have seen on the last few days astounds me.
I mean I like to think that those that are in the chat rooms are on the whole balanced civilized individuals. but in all fairness some of the questions I seen a female cammer getting asked tonight in a directing room beggared belief, I mean had I not known better and I was a new member going into chat for the first time I would have been appalled and not so keen to return again for a while., crass and down right rude childish behavior of some left an awful lot to be desired, these same people wonder why they can't make any connections with people on the site?
I mean if you go on like a pack of sex starved teenage boys who have never had the pleasure of a womans company, nor basic knowledge of the female body your really not going to get far in the swinging world.
People that are in this lifestyle for the right carry themselves with a basic sense of respect for themselves and others, and I know for one that if you carried on with such behavior in a real world scenario be it in a public bar or at a swinging party you would be swiftly told to sling your hook. I mean think about it, do you really think that any woman will endear herself to you if the most 'seductive' thing you can utter in a chat room is 'how many fingers can you get up there' or similar. now I aint no prude but feck me there is a time and a place for the filthy chat and believe me there are plenty on here that can have the fun when it gets down to the brass tacks, surely if you stopped for a second and just think about it would you like it to be your girlfriend/wife in the same position? Yes we all know our special lady can be a right 'naughty girl' in the right mood, but believe me lads your peddling a unicycle up a greasy hill with the kind of approach I sadly see from a few in chat night after night.
Now for the facts, and bear with me, I know many of you won't read this but I think it really warrants some thought.
just because a woman shows an interest in swinging and is comfortable enough with her sexuality it does not mean she is open to abuse and because you have a horn on you will be falling over herself to take a running jump at you and help you unleash your 'tension'. Your hand and your imagination are a far more sure bet of getting your kicks.
Swingers if anyone have a far more discerning approach to sex and are far more selective, they know what they like and they sure as hell have heard all the crap lines before. Have a think about starting an actual conversation, and developing some rapport with the object of your lust. I assure you and you can put your money on this no single woman and for that part most couples will entertain any advances you make without first being sure you have a bit of decency about you and that you have some level of respect for them.
Tonight despite Numerous warnings there were a lot kicked from chat, now some may crib that this is unfair and that they did it by accident, well sorry but when you enter the room you are clearly informed about the chat rooms policy. You have to consider that the intended target of your whispers could be deep in conversation with someone else , or that they actually want to be spoken to in a civilized manner. Looking to go straight into a whisper with someone after 30 seconds of starting a conversation is a sure sign of 'Warning chat wanker' and most won't entertain you. Tell me honestly, if you were in a bar or club, and in the same time frame of making initial contact with a stranger they asked you to step out to a secluded area, I am sure you'd expect to be told to take a hike or if the shoe was on the other foot, you'd telling them that!, so why then do people think that when they come into a chartroom that a person in they're right mind, with some degree of intelligence and cop on is going to be seduced into whispers in such a short time frame.
This goes back to my initial comment about swingers being more discerning, because someone is on this site does not mean they are a 'easy lay, far from it, but believe me the effort and the time taken to get to know people on here in most circumstances is well worth it.
So the next time you log into chat, and are about to get your cock out in your hand and think you can sneek in a quick wank at the expense of someone on cam, have a good long look at yourself and remind yourself of this,
How many great sexy encounters you are depriving yourself off with some fine genuine people on here?, sure you get a quick fix from your continuing your current 'Modus operandi' but crass rude whispers won;'t endear you to anyone, why not invest that energy showing that same person you are a half decent being, and in turn you'll reap the rewards of some good old honest 'real' fun one to one, or at a party.
Right I have enough ranting done, Time for bed.
Titan79.
Very well said Titan :clap: :clap:
It had to be said and ya did a great job Titan :thumbup:
It's nice to be nice at the cost of nothing :giveup:
Excellent post Titan and very well said....thank you xxxxxxxxx
Well said Titan, and may I add you are a VERY decent bloke:clap:
Luv ya
xxxxx
Titan i have to congratualte you on what is a very good topic, this has been long over due so well done :clap: When we first joined this site there wasn't much of a chatroom and when we did eventually venture into the chatroom we were very nervous but we were met with so many friendly greetings that it made us want to log on time and time again. However in recent months we've taken a back seat from it,mainly due to unwanted whispers and idiotic, disrepectful people who can't be bothered reading our profile before chatting to us and who start a conversation off with 'hi can i see your pics please'. Now both of us will chat away the very best to anyone and we always like to think we show others the respect and manners we'd like to be shown. sure we've all sent a whisper without asking before but more often than not its the type of whisper we receive without being asked first is what we take offence to. And as for camming, absolutely no chance with the amount of abuse that cammers are faced with daily now. Just because the people on here have chosen a different life style for themselves doesn't mean they should be treated with any less respect than you would treat someone in the 'normal' world and some folk on here would do well to remember that.
So Titan thank you for bringing this topic up and i hope the people who need to read this actually take some notice of it.
Thank you Titan for rising this issue...
I was in a directing room last night, the majority of people in the room were couples and males, a young girl was camming, she was being bombarded by comments and the most offensive from guess who? the males!..
At the same time I was on the phone to a friend he was also in the room, and it was him who drew my attention to a comment 'show us your slice' now the guy wasn't that young, and as my friend said 'Is that the level of crudeness we have reached on swing?'..
Earlier I was in the NI room, and a guy persisted in whispering, so I ignored , he didn't ask to whisper..
On being ignored he put up in main chat 'Hey virgo you spanner', now not the most offensive comment, but what gives anyone the right to insult others when they have not got the manners to abide by chatroom rules...
If a guy called me a spanner in real life for ignoring him, he would be wearing his gonads as ear-rings!!!!..
A lot of members think that they have the right to insult, or abuse simply because they are on a swing site, and as for those who dare to cross the personal line by asking inappropriate questions, well grow up and get a life!
Well put together Mr T :small-print: it hits the nail on the head so lets hope that a majority of folk here read this and take your words in to account before whispering and being nasty to others. :thumbup:
Is there anyway new joiners to the Site - and all repeat offenders - could be issued with a copy of this information as soon as possible - Education is the prevention of ignorance and I believe that's what's at the bottom of the issue.
:clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap:
mr t very well said....
but in general the conduct of a certain minority is just not acceptable..
glad you did a post on this titan well said :clap::clap::clap::clap::clap:
:clap::clap::clap:well said T
Titan fair play..
Got to admit i dont go into chat much anymore.. cant stand the 2 sentence into chat.. can i whisper,... blah blah.. what u into..tadaaaa!! cape off, im a wanker who doesnt have a brain, intro..
thank u for highlighting that doesnt get them anywhere.. and if they continue to do so.. well just goes to show they dont want to succeed and are timewasters and annoyances..
Thanks folks for the comments I was just speaking my mind. I also notice i feckin duplicated the post so I have removed the initial version as i thought I had removed it.
Lucan I agree with you whole heartedly it is only a minority that have lead me to posting this, but you know what they say about a few bad apples.
As a side note to the initial post I hope that this will empower a few less vocal members to standing up for they're right to enjoy chat without having to be subjected to the nonsense outlined in my first post.
Titan, excellent post, that so needed to be said, sadly the by-product of the site becomming so popular we are getting all sorts signing up who are not genuine swingers and have no respect for fellow users. We all must be aware of these transgressors and I encourage members to report them when possible....again great post titan :thumbup:
omg titan that was some rant.....but, i have to absolutley agree with you ... good on ye
Here we go again, all men are shites, couples are loverly and women are angels. Fact is there are gobshites of both sexes and there are nice people of both sexes. There are the morons who go into a room and wank off and get annoyed because a girl on cam wont put her toes in her ears for them. There are also the women who routinely post each and every whisper they get, even from a guy saying "Hi" once.
They are the same creature those two, getting off on others and using them for whatever odd form of pleasure they are looking for. They have no more intention of meeting someone or chatting to someone than the Pope (though I wonder who the guy with the username BenedictXVI is lol).
Titans point is well made and his original post dosent single out single males. Unfortunately the follow ups arent quite as fair and a bit of balance is required.
The piece of advice that says ignore the first Hi whisper is still I think good advice. If the eejit says Hi a second time by all means I will help anyone show him the door.
It is really intimidating to have to ask in a room can I whisper because in 9 out of 10 cases guys get no answer and in fairness folks, we single guys have to be thick skined but its pretty shagging annoying to ask and get silence in response
Tom, some good points. Can I just put it out there, from a personal perspective, if you whisper hi to me I will say hi back. I will say it on the main chat, thus showing I am not inviting a conversation conducted in whispers. Maybe I am being a bit simplistic though......
Lately, I have started to ignore even the hi whispers as each conversation is almost verbatim: 'hi' then 'how are you' then 'great tits'. Perhaps, for these particular people, a little decorum at the start of a conversation might go a long way and end the backlash against whispers.
Brilliant post Titan well said, very articulately put...... Personally speaking i think the break down of offenders as in couples, fems, males, would be some couples some fems but the majority of offensive whispering offenders are single males, and i wont be making any apology for that its as obvious as the big ears on my head. I would put my last figroll on it and say its the single males who are on site just for a quick fix more then likely don't use the forums and don't go to Meet & Greets either. In other words they aint here to respect folks, just here to get there kicks in as quickest time possible.
Anyway you'd have to be a complete and utter brainless goonjob to think that by whispering someone filth or just in general whispering that your going to get a result, its lazy.....The only way to approach someone is to compose yourself firstly and then compose a private mail to them, a short but catchy mail (good spelling & nice manner) there's absolutely nothing wrong with a bit of old style manners........Mark
I think you could sum up some of the real nasty whispering offender by saying, they do it for the same reason as a flasher would flash hes bits, they get off on the fact that you'v seen it.
I dont normally reply to posts on this site, i like reading in the forums but tend to keep my opinions to myself. But i would like to say well done to titan for highlighting the issues and how well you wrote it.
I have been on here a while peoples behaviour is terrible they seem to have no patience. I think when members join they should be told that it takes time to get to no people and that harassment does not work and they should be told that getting involved in chat is this best way to get people to talk to them.
Fair dues to you rock, you hit the nail on the head. Hopefully some will take from that post and understand that it takes a bit of time and patience.
we fully agree with you titan we stopped cam over abuse same guys most off the time but we have to say some lovely people on too we have meet some very nice guys we would like to know why guys think thy have to lie
Im new to this site so mabey i dont know what goes on, actually i definately dont know what goes on in chat rooms here. but if anyone, be it a gut/girl/couple behaved in the manner described in any other situation than on line, they would be ignored, or pretty much told to p#*s off. so surely if its a small minority, could they be 'named and shamed' or at least a thread like this opened to let everyone else know what kind of wankers they are. mabey im goin out on a limb, but it'd be a safe bet if a count was done that it would be mainly 'single males' mainly to blame. Im an almost single male, and its frustrating to realise that people reject you just cos you are a guy, even without giving you a chance. i mean, look at the amount of profiles that stress NO SINGLE MALES.
For christ sake guys (or others if im bein pc!!), get a life, or a porn mag for fuck sake! your ruining it for the genuine ones.
Clara
