He's as useful s a one-legged man at an ass-kicking contest...
He's slower than erosion...
He's about as useful as a mint-flavoured suppository...
well i'm glad someone has revived this thread, coz i've a few to add of my own....
When I was born, I was black. When I grow up, I'm black. When I'm ill, When I die, I'm black. But you - When you're born, you're pink. When you grow up, you're white. When you're ill, you're green. When you go out in the sun, you go red. When you're cold, you go blue. When you die, you're purple. And you have the nerve to call me Colored?
Malcom X
One whose chief regard is for his own mind, and for the divinity within him and the service of its goodness, will strike no poses, utter no complaints, and crave neither for solitude nor yet for a crowd. Best of all, his life will be free from continual pursuing and avoiding.
Marcus Aurelius, Meditations – Book Three
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
Hunter S. Thompson
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
Hunter S. Thompson
Every now and then when your life gets complicated and the weasels start closing in, the only cure is to load up on heinous chemicals and then drive like a bastard from Hollywood to Las Vegas ... with the music at top volume and at least a pint of ether.
Hunter S. Thompson
Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got.
Janis Joplin
and finally....
if they can't take a joke...fuck 'em.
me
andy
I started out with nothing and stilll have most of it left - seasick steve
If you only listen to your own advice you end up talking to yourself. (my own humble work)
For evil to prosper good people must simply do nothing (Edmund Burke)
If you only listen to your own advice you end up talking to yourself. (my own humble work)
For evil to prosper good people must simply do nothing (Edmund Burke)
"The lady doth protest too much, methinks." from Shakespere's Hamlet.
I really like that one, and the point behind it - namely, that when someone is too vocal in their protests/denials/etc it sounds suspicious.
Regards
Cool Hand
I know nothing about sex because I was always married.
Zsa Zsa Gabor.
Between Alice and the cheshire cat:
..."`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
Alice didn't think that proved it at all; however, she went on `And how do you know that you're mad?'
`To begin with,' said the Cat, `a dog's not mad. You grant that?'
`I suppose so,' said Alice.
`Well, then,' the Cat went on, `you see, a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad.'"
From the song ''christmascard from a hooker in minneapolis'' by Tom Waits
hey Charley
for chrissakes,
do you want to know
the truth of it?
I don't have a husband
and he don't play the trombone.
The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.
Terry Pratchett
Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.
George Bernard Shaw Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
Oscar Wilde
Ralph Waldo Emerson:
The only way to have a friend is to be one..
I've quoted this to distraction, but here it is again:
"Sex is comic. Anyone who does not understand that, is a fool. There must be delicacy in it, but dignity is impossible."
Andrew M. Greeley in The God Game.
"Only the really plain people know about love - the very fascinating ones try so hard to create an impression that they soon exhaust their talents."
Katharine Hepburn.
"Only the really plain people know about love - the very fascinating ones try so hard to create an impression that they soon exhaust their talents."
Katharine Hepburn.
I like that. A lot.
Two of my Favourites
Mayor of Hiroshima circa 1947 'What the F**K was that'
General Custer at little big horn 'Where did all the F**kin indians come from?'
life is not about the breaths you take, butthe moments that take your breath away :smile2:
It's not what's inside you that defines you, it's what you do. - Bruce Wayne, Batman Begins.
Andy
let's get down to brass tax here: how much for the ape?
Dr Gonzo, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
"Make a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. Set him on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
Terry Pratchett
when the going gets tough, keep fucking going.
Me.
Love is a delightful interval between when you first discover it and when you wake up to realise that your lover reminds you of a buldog chewing a hive of wasps.
Love is the period between meeting a beautiful woman and realising she looks like a haddock - John Barrymore
Andy
:Pyour reward shall be a brief time of rule you shall dictate laws you shall bask in the sun of your own majesty ,you shall banquet in the royal halls and woo the kings daughter- but remember! the hangmans foot is on the treshold ! frederick engels
:Powners of capital will stimulate the working class to buy more and more expensive goods,houses and technolgy. pushing them to take more and more expensive credits ,until their debt becomes unbearable. the unpaid debt will lead to the bankruptcy of the banks which will have to be nationalised and the state will have to take the road that leads to communism ,karl marx, "a very apt prediction for the ireland off today "