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Quote by user=dora
cool will you get out the great book of oscar wilde..he has more great quotations than any other... id love to be reminded of some of them.. they are gems..
I wonder if you have the gift of telepathy, Dora. I do actually have a book of Wilde's quotations - "The Wicked Wit of Oscar Wilde"! It is an enjoyable little read. Wilde, along with perhaps Twain and Wodehouse, must rate among the wittiest authors of all time.
Recently I had a glance at The Happy Prince an other Tales by Oscar Wilde. This was the book through which Wilde first gained recognition as an author. One of them, The Remarkable Rocket, is a tale about fireworks. It has some absolute gems of quotations and below is a selection of a half a dozen of the best of them. The Rocket itself could have given lectures on self esteem - reminds me a little of some people I've had the dubious privilege of knowing.
"What is a sensitive person?" said the Cracker to the Roman Candle.
"A person who, because he has corns himself, always treads on other people's toes," answered the Roman Candle in a low whisper; and the Cracker nearly exploded with laughter.
"Pray, what are you laughing at?" inquired the Rocket; "I am not laughing."
"I am laughing because I am happy," replied the Cracker.
"That is a very selfish reason," said the Rocket angrily. "What right have you to be happy? You should be thinking about others. In fact, you should be thinking about me. I am always thinking about myself, and I expect everybody else to do the same. That is what is called sympathy. It is a beautiful virtue, and I possess it in a high degree. ... Really, when I begin to reflect on the importance of my position, I am almost moved to tears."
The only thing that sustains one through life is the consciousness of the immense inferiority of everybody else, and this is a feeling that I have always cultivated.
"I never said I knew him," answered the Rocket. "I dare say that if I knew him I should not be his friend at all. It is a very dangerous thing to know one's friends."
"You are a very irritating person," said the Rocket, "and very ill-bred.
I hate people who talk about themselves, as you do, when one wants to talk about oneself, as I do. It is what I call selfishness, and selfishness is a most detestable thing, especially to any one of my temperament, for I am well known for my sympathetic nature. In fact, you should take example by me; you could not possibly have a better model.
"Well, that is his loss, not mine," answered the Rocket. "I am not going to stop talking to him merely because he pays no attention. I like hearing myself talk. It is one of my greatest pleasures. I often have long conversations all by myself, and I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."
Regards
Cool Hand
Master of Sex
well i'm glad someone has revived this thread, coz i've a few to add of my own....
When I was born, I was black. When I grow up, I'm black. When I'm ill, When I die, I'm black. But you - When you're born, you're pink. When you grow up, you're white. When you're ill, you're green. When you go out in the sun, you go red. When you're cold, you go blue. When you die, you're purple. And you have the nerve to call me Colored?
Malcom X
One whose chief regard is for his own mind, and for the divinity within him and the service of its goodness, will strike no poses, utter no complaints, and crave neither for solitude nor yet for a crowd. Best of all, his life will be free from continual pursuing and avoiding.
Marcus Aurelius, Meditations – Book Three
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
Hunter S. Thompson
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
Hunter S. Thompson
Every now and then when your life gets complicated and the weasels start closing in, the only cure is to load up on heinous chemicals and then drive like a bastard from Hollywood to Las Vegas ... with the music at top volume and at least a pint of ether.
Hunter S. Thompson
Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got.
Janis Joplin
and finally....
if they can't take a joke...fuck 'em.
me
andy
Between Alice and the cheshire cat:
..."`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
Alice didn't think that proved it at all; however, she went on `And how do you know that you're mad?'
`To begin with,' said the Cat, `a dog's not mad. You grant that?'
`I suppose so,' said Alice.
`Well, then,' the Cat went on, `you see, a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad.'"
I've quoted this to distraction, but here it is again:
"Sex is comic. Anyone who does not understand that, is a fool. There must be delicacy in it, but dignity is impossible."
Andrew M. Greeley in The God Game.
"Only the really plain people know about love - the very fascinating ones try so hard to create an impression that they soon exhaust their talents."
Katharine Hepburn.
Sex God
Two of my Favourites
Mayor of Hiroshima circa 1947 'What the F**K was that'
General Custer at little big horn 'Where did all the F**kin indians come from?'
Master of Sex
It's not what's inside you that defines you, it's what you do. - Bruce Wayne, Batman Begins.
Andy
:D went somethin lik that.
or
if you had brains u would be dangerous,..classic skool:D
:giggle:
Sex God
Love is a delightful interval between when you first discover it and when you wake up to realise that your lover reminds you of a buldog chewing a hive of wasps.
Master of Sex
Love is the period between meeting a beautiful woman and realising she looks like a haddock - John Barrymore
Andy
Orgasminator
:Pyour reward shall be a brief time of rule you shall dictate laws you shall bask in the sun of your own majesty ,you shall banquet in the royal halls and woo the kings daughter- but remember! the hangmans foot is on the treshold ! frederick engels
Orgasminator
:Powners of capital will stimulate the working class to buy more and more expensive goods,houses and technolgy. pushing them to take more and more expensive credits ,until their debt becomes unbearable. the unpaid debt will lead to the bankruptcy of the banks which will have to be nationalised and the state will have to take the road that leads to communism ,karl marx, "a very apt prediction for the ireland off today "
Denzel Washington;
American Gangster:
*You are what you are in this world."
(You can lift what ya like but it's still always gonna be lil ole you! lol)
Don't bite off more than you can chew!
:whistling:
Don't write cheques ya can't cash!
*ponders current economic recession climate*
Life's like a box of chocolates etc etc.
Yum yum
Life's a biatchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
But biatches ruleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
:angel:
According 2 my beloved Stereophonics; "The more ya fly tha more u risk yer liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiifffffffffffffeeeeeeeeeee!"
(Song title: Just Looking.)
Sometimes in life, ya gotta turn down tha music and jus say what tha fooooooooooooooooooooookkk!
(Dunno who said that, tink it was Tom Cruise?)
I'm all 4 turnin up tha non-literal music, music s life fffffsssss!!! :karaoke:
Ya gotta face tha music!
Let's face tha music and danceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
:whistling::whistling:
Crash and burnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
sniff sniff
Que sera sera!
(Dunno what language that's from, but it translates 2 Whatever Will Be Will Be.)
Every cloud has a silver lining.
Dum de dummmm *taps fingers impatiently*
To the whole world ya jus mite be 1 person, but 2 1 person ya jus mite be tha whole world!
(Hhmmmm cud that b incorporated in2 a Swinger's life-style 2 ..... 
)
Can I hav sum f wht ur havin!!
Can ya bottle that :)
(basically can I have sum f that?!)
ermmmmmm I don't really do Oscar Wilde sorry folks .....
Maybe Carlsberg does ......
:smile2::smile2::smile2:
:whistling:
Don't write cheques ya can't cash!
*ponders current economic recession climate*
Life's like a box of chocolates etc etc.
Yum yum
Life's a biatchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
But biatches ruleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
:angel:
According 2 my beloved Stereophonics; "The more ya fly tha more u risk yer liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiifffffffffffffeeeeeeeeeee!"
(Song title: Just Looking.)
Sometimes in life, ya gotta turn down tha music and jus say what tha fooooooooooooooooooooookkk!
(Dunno who said that, tink it was Tom Cruise?)
I'm all 4 turnin up tha non-literal music, music s life fffffsssss!!! :karaoke:
Ya gotta face tha music!
Let's face tha music and danceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
:whistling::whistling:
Crash and burnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
sniff sniff
Que sera sera!
(Dunno what language that's from, but it translates 2 Whatever Will Be Will Be.)
Every cloud has a silver lining.
Dum de dummmm *taps fingers impatiently*
To the whole world ya jus mite be 1 person, but 2 1 person ya jus mite be tha whole world!
(Hhmmmm cud that b incorporated in2 a Swinger's life-style 2 ..... )
Can I hav sum f wht ur havin!!
Can ya bottle that :)
(basically can I have sum f that?!)
ermmmmmm I don't really do Oscar Wilde sorry folks .....
Maybe Carlsberg does ......
:smile2::smile2::smile2: 