Do you feel threatened by other members, & I don't mean physically or verbally threatened.
as a guy or girl do you feel slightly threatened by a profile...you know the type..."tall, good looking, fit, experienced, good sense of humour"
do the bbw ladies feel threatened by the size 8-12 ladies
or the pictures, when you see a big cock or boobs or a toned body do you somehow feel inadequate
& in chat...do others seem more confident than you
and when it comes to Sex, are you afraid you wont perform to expectations ... but whose expectations?
Is feeling threatened a lack of confidence in ourselves, remember the people on here have never met you, there is no history or baggage.
ON S4I you can be the person you have been hiding.
Love yourself first then others will love you also.
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do you feel inadequate/intimidated by other members?
Orgasminator
Not threatened no - but sometimes a little inadequate. I know how good/bad whatever I am and have no probs with me but there will always be that nagging doubt that perhaps someone else is more desirable/virulant/satisfying (or even critical but that again is in the mind) than what I can give.... It is only a confidence thing I know - but doesn't stop the questioning of oneself really
Threatened good god no Alan -Ball, was deciding between never or never thought of it, but went with..never....
While I have at stages looked at profiles, and my posts can testify to this in the past, I have often thought god I wish my boobs were bigger, that is simply a woman 'thing' and funny I am drawn to Ladies of a fuller figure myself...
If I was finding myself threatned by images, profiles, pictures or people I looked at on a swingsite I think I would question my own sanity:grin:
good posting Alan,
this is a swing site, and it can be difficult at times seeing others in the chatroom which seem to ooze confidence, but probably because they have already met each other and have become good friends, but where less active or new people come on to the site and feel a trepidation because of nerves and the unknown.
Don't think threatened would be the proper way of describing how others feel, nervous, unsure and a little lost at times would be closer to the reality of the majority of genuine swingers.
we still feel like a bag of nerves meeting people we don't know, but thats just all part of the scene, its what adds to the buzz.
you see profiles, you meet people, you always wonder will they like you, will you like them, will the attraction be there, will the chemistry be there, are they the same in reality as they are in chat, in all things add up, when it works it great but we still have fun with each other and most times enjoy the fun with others 
I think intimidated would be a more appropriate word. :thumbup:
And no, I don't feel intimidated. This, like any other online community, has people from all walks of life and that is what makes it interesting.
I am a very confident person, but on and offline, so that is not a problem for me. :smile2:
As for being intimidated by perfect figures ... naah. I've been fortunate to find hot guys drawn to my chubby self. Haha. I am more into actually perving those perfect figures than feeling intimidated by them! 
hwoar:
hwoar: Mid I had exactly the same conversation on the phone with a relative newbie today, he was expressing how difficult he found breaking into the chatrooms were..
I explained that very often hellos are missed, members are whispering, but we all found that at some stage, perhaps it may be worth remembering we all were newbies when we first joined
That's it Virgo, and I hope that newbie understands that if your conversation is moving fast on main chat and you are whispering a few people at the same time the room text literally flies up the page sometimes. It's so easy to miss a greeting or say to yourself I'll answer in one second and then remember 10 minutes later that you didn't. Someone going to the trouble of saying hello is never unwelcome and I'd find it hard to believe this would be deliberately ignored. Also a simple post of hi I probably wouldn't answer as I would be unsure if it was directed at the room or someone in particular.
Quote by user=Alan-ball
Do you feel threatened by other members, & I don't mean physically or verbally threatened.
as a guy or girl do you feel slightly threatened by a profile...you know the type..."tall, good looking, fit, experienced, good sense of humour"
do the bbw ladies feel threatened by the size 8-12 ladies
or the pictures, when you see a big cock or boobs or a toned body do you somehow feel inadequate
& in chat...do others seem more confident than you
and when it comes to Sex, are you afraid you wont perform to expectations ... but whose expectations?
Is feeling threatened a lack of confidence in ourselves, remember the people on here have never met you, there is no history or baggage.
ON S4I you can be the person you have been hiding.
Love yourself first then others will love you also.
I, voted occasionally Alan, and I would have no hang up, about my looks
or body,I am in good shape and fit in very well outside of here (site)
But too be honest there is a certain amount of click or appears too be,
weather its too do with age ,or strong personality's ,who knows,but if
we are honest with ourselves it dose exist,and yes there are some very
nice people here on the site, there are does too that can be cruel .You see
here people can become the sharp voice,they would like too be in public
and those people can be very intimidating, grate tread Alan
DoI feel threatened.................no.........intimidated somewhat sometimes.............
I am very honest with the people I do meet they know what I look like, my likes and dislikes....that way no surprises. I am honest about myself in my profile I portray myself honestly on line the person you get to know on here is the person you get to meet off here..............its a very good post alan xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxanny
Quote by user=midnightchat
That's it Virgo, and I hope that newbie understands that if your conversation is moving fast on main chat and you are whispering a few people at the same time the room text literally flies up the page sometimes. It's so easy to miss a greeting or say to yourself I'll answer in one second and then remember 10 minutes later that you didn't. Someone going to the trouble of saying hello is never unwelcome and I'd find it hard to believe this would be deliberately ignored. Also a simple post of hi I probably wouldn't answer as I would be unsure if it was directed at the room or someone in particular.
He does understand Mid, it is tough at the start, and the natural reaction is to think 'Clique' but I told him to get posting in forums as well as this way people then recognise his name ect...this has been sucessful for other new members in the past..
Quote by user=Virgogirl
He does understand Mid, it is tough at the start, and the natural reaction is to think 'Clique' but I told him to get posting in forums as well as this way people then recognise his name ect...this has been sucessful for other new members in the past..
The problem is there are cliques in chat, no matter what anyone says. We think it`s because there are people who have regular contact both on and off the site and sometimes they may forget that there are other people both new and old in chat who might want to get into the conversation but for whatever reason feel intimdated by the cliques.
Have I ever felt intimidated or inferior to other members?
yes.....in the past.
I used to see all these slimmer women and think....who;s going to be interested in me? When I received my first party invite i was as nervous as anything thinking....what if noone wants to play with me....what if I spend the evening all on my own and noone is interested???
But what I found in this site is a size acceptance, as I have mentioned before in another thread, that isnt in general society.
I am a big girl....I make it obvious to anyone who i consider meeting.....if they have a problem with it...well then....thats ok.
Those of you who have met me at the social events will no that I will never be in the 8-12 range.....i'll never be a size 16 or 18 either.....but does that make me any less sexually attractive than a size 10??......No!
There will always be someone better looking.....slimmer...bigger....taller....smaller.....more popular....funnier.....wittier.....i could go on and on.
But equally there will be some rude, obnoxious people who do think that because they are slimmer, prettier, get more attention and party invites or are more 'popular' that they are better than the rest.
My reply to that is....if thats the way you think...good luck....you;re not the type of person I want to know anyway.
I dont think I am better than anyone, just as I dont think anyone is better than me.
Its like normal life.....not everyone we take a shine to will feel the same....its learning to accept this as part of swinging as we would normally. Even the perceived popular people on this site have had their knock backs.
As for the chatrooms....yes for a newbie it can be intimidating....but keep at it....say hi...ask how everyone is....someone will reply.....be civil......chat about normal things.....engage in a normal conversation...see how that goes.
