Join the most popular community of Irish swingers now
Login
rgb
Over 90 days ago
Bi-curious Male, 58
0 km · Cork
Forum
Ah, Raven, hopefully your last post won't soon belong in a thread entitled "things to make you tear your hair out" - speaking as father of a 16 year old having boyfriend problems!
Happy thought - : waking up in the morning with the prospect of learning something new about yourself or those around you
Meanwhile, on the bridge, Captain Padds is yelling at the Tactical Officer..."Mr Worf, Fire Photon Toorpedoes, full spread!". Worf growls back "Captain, our weapons are having no effect. The Dictionaries are absorbing all of our weapons-fire!". Padds mutters "I knew I should'nt have woken the Spell-Check section of the Q-Continuum!". "Well, " he announces to the crew, "they won't get us without a fight. Arm the Dildo Cannon!"
While muscular and, quite well endowed, newbie bypasses the holodec simulations of Nausicans, Klingons, Jem Hadar and Species 8472 (mostly cos their cross-eyed, lumpy and oozing faces would knock her off her stride)she stops in front of one unassuming figure. "And what can you do for me?" she asks seductively, nay challengingly. "Well, " replies the simulcrum of Commander Data, "I am fully functional in all sexual matters......", he pauses for effect for a precisely timed seconds "........and I never get tired." Newbie smiles and........
A man sunbathes nude on holiday and burns his penis. Embarrassed, he shows this to a local GP. The doctor says that he should dip his member in a saucer of cold milk to ease the pain. Later that day, his girlfriend opens their hotel-room door and sees him with his penis submerged in a bowl of milk. "Good heavens!" she remarks, "I always wondered how you re-loaded those things!"
A new nurse was being shown around the wards on her first day. The matron pulls aside a curtain and the nurse sees a young man sitting on his bed, furiously masturbating. That's terrible, she exclaims. "Oh, he's ok", says the matron, "he has a very rare condition that causes his testicles to fill up with sperm at an incredible rat. He must masturbate ten times a day or suffer excrutiating pain". The nurse nods, feeling sympathy for the man. In the next ward the matron pulls aside another curtain and they see a nurse giving a patient a blow job. Seeing the look of shock on her new employee's face she quickly says, "oh, this man has the same condition, only he's got VHI"
