This article aims to answer a few of the questions most commonly asked by single men. It's not a bible for getting your way, or a magic formula for attracting pussy. It's just some simple, basic advice.
1. You're In A Big Crowd
The first thing you have to realise is, there's more men looking for sex online than there are women. Lots more.
On average:
Women seeking Men: 147
Men seeking Women: 5,226
Couples seeking Men: 575
Men seeking Couples: 3,155
What does this mean? For every woman's attention, you're going to be competing with a lot of other guys.
So if you ever want to get as far as chatting with or even meeting anyone, you have to put yourself across so that somewhere, some woman will believe that you may be one of the best.
2. All Those Other Guys Have Dicks Too
It's a good idea to try to differentiate yourself from those thousands of the other men; to make yourself stand out from the crowd. However, this is where you're very lucky - because you already are a unique individual with your very own personality and unique qualities.
The problem is that the other 5,225 single men on this website all have a penis too. They all have hard dicks and they're all horny. So this is hardly a unique selling point. I personally don't think there's any point in making a big deal of your penis unless it is genuinely abnormally humungous (something close to a foot) and you have photographs to prove it.
While we're on this subject, opinion amongst women is split on the subject of dick-pictures. Some women like them; others however do not. If you must use a dick-picture in a profile, or send one to someone, always use a facial picture as well. NEVER use a dick-picture on its own, otherwise people will think that you really are a dick.
3. Wowing Women
The important thing with any profile or email response is to set yourself apart from all the other guys. I'm not saying you need to write your full life story but mention a little bit about who you are, what you're like, and what you're looking for. And don't just tell people what you're like; show them. Let your personality shine through in your words.
Try to imagine how what you're writing will be viewed by the women you're trying to target. Remember that these people are all strangers; they don't know you, and they start out by not caring about you at all. . They really don't give a damn about your dick being hard. And why should they? Before you can begin to attract, you need to make people believe that you are someone worth knowing.
BTW, when writing an profile make sure you mention what kind of person you're looking for too.
Likewise, when responding to someone's profile, always take care that you match any specific criteria they ask for. So if they want a man 6'4 and athletic, and you're 5'3 and tubby, you'll only be wasting your time and theirs if you send them a message!
4. Being Ignored Is Part Of The Territory
It's frustrating. You see an profile placed by a gorgeous woman. You put your heart and soul into writing a response; tailoring it to her. You send it. And you never hear back.
Unfortunately, this is a part of the scene. From your point of view; this is impolite, and rude. You put a lot of effort into writing your very best response and you get nothing - not even a rejection message - back. You can either reply to another profile - and probably be ignored again - or stop now and give up.
Fact: 95% of responses 19a go unanswered.
5. Get To Know People
Maybe your ad responses are falling on deaf ears and your own profile isn't getting noticed among thousands of others. What can you do to actually reach other people?
Join in the fun at one of the clubs in your area. Read up on some of the topics in this section or the features section and arm yourself with the know-how to go fa7 out to one of the swingers parties and make new friends. Slowly you'll become a part of the community and maybe you'll really hit it off with someone.
6. When Your Little Soldier Doesn't Measure Up
It can be depressing; looking through women's ads and seeing how many you can't answer because your penis isn't big enough to fit into the legendary "VWE" (Very Well-Endowed) category. But again, don't obsess over this - many of those women just want to experiment with a big dick, or happen to like them. And so what? You can't force people to find something attractive when they don't. And there's also women who dislike penises that are more than average in length or girth.
7. Sexual Discrimination
"No single males", says advert after advert. "No single men!" says the sexy lady in her hot profile. Unfair, isn't it? I bet they still see single women!
Some single men have given others a bad reputation. Some single men are rude, pushy, arrogant, ignorant... it's no surprise that many swingers have gone off them. Others just don't find single men attractive, and aren't interested in playing when another woman isn't involved.
the best way to fight it is to not be like one of them. Get a good reputation at the parties you do go to. Word will spread and soon you will be invited where others are not.
8. What's The Secret?
There's no secret formula for seducing women. There are things you can do to increase your chances, and make yourself more desirable, but at the end of the day - there's no magic button you can press to make a woman appear magically at your door. (Unless you have your local escort agency on speed-dial.) Every woman is different, and every woman likes different things.
There's lots of advice out there if you look for it; read it, digest it, take it all on board. But don't believe it's all automatically true, or that it will turn you into an irresistable sex-god. Go over it in your mind and decide which bits are most suitable for your current situation.
9. And What If Nothing Happens?
As we've seen, as a single guy on a swinging website, the odds are stacked against you. All the advice in the world can't overcome that; you need luck. A lot of luck.
Whatever you're doing - chatting, responding to profiles, going out to the clubs - it's very important that you enjoy the activity. Have fun with it. You may get lucky and meet someone straight away; it may be a very long time before anyone shows any interest in you. Maybe nobody ever will. So make sure you're having fun, and if at the end of the day your number hasn't come up - at least you've still had fun.
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johnmc
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 114
0 km · Leitrim
Forum
More and more people are Swinging - that's the Good News. Unfortunately though, it's sometimes difficult as a newbie to navigate these new avenues. The Swing Community is THE place to relax your inhibitions and explore your sexuality.
Here are a few Tips to make your adventures smoother. The best advice is the popular dictate of C.S.A.S.C. (Common Sense and Social Courtesy) - basically relate to each other with understanding, thoughtfulness, and common courtesy; just as you wish to be treated. .
BE YOURSELF - People are interested in you, so relax and be yourself. However, this does not mean go ahead and act like an ass, disrespecting others and acting like a jerk. It means don't put on an act, or a show just be who you are.
BE COURTEOUS - Be aware that this is a lifestyle full of insecurities, uncertainties and fears. Courteously is how we all want to be treated - with kindness, thoughtfulness, understanding and sensitivity. In essence, courtesy is our treating people the way we ourselves want to be treated.
BE FRIENDLY - Whether or not you are personally interested in swinging with someone, be polite. You never know, you may share many other interests or
you may meet that person again, and they may introduce you to someone with whom you ARE compatible and do wish to share time.
RESPOND TO ALL INVITATIONS - RSVP means please reply to the invitation. It does NOT mean reply only if you plan to attend. The most frustrating part of hosting, be it a party, a group or another couple, is people who are discourteous enough not to respond, PERIOD. Good etiquette and good social courtesy DEMAND you respond, by either calling or writing to say yes OR no.
NEVER ARRIVE EMPTY HANDED - When you go to someone's home for a party, ask if there is something you can bring. (it's amazing how many supplies, other than food are used up at an average party.) If you are not going as a couple, a house- gift is appropriate (and not necessarily wine.)
GO PREPARED - Take whatever you personally are going to need with you. Carry a small overnight bag for lingerie or robe, hairbrush, comb, toothbrush, cologne, intimate cleansing articles, condoms, etc. If you plan to stay over, sleeping bags or blankets and pillows are necessities.
CLEANLINESS - Nothing turns a person off faster and more effectively than an unclean body or unfresh breath. Even if you shower and perfume yourself before you leave home, it is always a good idea to freshen up again when you arrive at your destination. It is amazing what time to drive somewhere, stop for a bite, or whatever, can do or rather UNDO.
RESPECT OTHERS' FEELINGS - Beware, not everyone is comfortable in all situations, Keep your eyes open for signs that your partner, as well as others, is relaxed and enjoying themselves. If someone is not comfortable, try helping them over the rough spots. Remember, you were a beginner once yourself. If it is obvious that things are not working out, remain polite and courteous; but alert the host. Keep in mind that not all people feel the same about things.
DON'T BE PUSHY - If you are interested in swinging with someone, let them know in an inviting way; if they are interested, they will respond positively. If they are not and say "No, thank you," do not ask WHY. No amount of sweet talk or coercion on your part will change their mind and will probably work against you. Everyone has the right to say "NO" at all times, to anyone, without explanation. Do not ever forget that.
ONLY DO WHAT IS FUN FOR YOU - Do not allow yourself to become sexually involved with anybody that you are not interested in. There is no reason to involve yourself in a scene that you are not comfortable with. You are in the lifestyle to enjoy yourself, so only do what you want, when you want and with whom you want.
HOW AND WHY TO SAY NO - One of the basic etiquettes in swinging is the right of anyone to say "No". Experience has taught most people that everybody is not right for everybody else. Improper handling of a situation, however, can lead to a lot of hurt or very bad feelings. The swing world accepts the premise that everyone has the right to say "No" to anyone at anytime and it should be done with a simple "No, thank you". Never give an explanation, because that is what usually causes the problems and the pain.
ALCOHOL OR DRUGS - Most of us do not use drugs, although some of us drink socially. At times, a few drinks are nice to help you "relax". Over-indulging may hamper your physical abilities, as well as offend or turn other people off to you. If you have to over indulge in order to participate in swinging, you are involved in the wrong lifestyle.
PRACTICE SAFER SEX - It is up to us to protect ourselves as well as our partners. With the present concern over sexually transmitted diseases such as syphilis, gonorrhea, aids, yeast infection, etc., the use of condoms should not offend anybody. Anyone not willing to take this precaution is acting selfishly and irresponsibly. You are not being accused of being unclean, but simply someone wishes to provide you both with protection.
CALL TO SAY THANKS - Most people only use the telephone if they are going to go somewhere. Lost seems to the social ambiance of a 'Thank-You Note' or phone call to someone whose hospitality you enjoyed. It means a lot to most people, and they will surely remember you when planning their next event. Don't you like to be thanked?
BE GOOD HOSTS - When you have people coming to your home, try to anticipate their needs: put clean sheets on the beds; keep plenty of clean washcloths and towels available. Show your guests through the house so that they will know where the bathrooms, kitchen, and other rooms are located.
ANSWERING ADS - All replies to an ad should be answered in two weeks even if it is a No. Remember not all people you write to are interested in you or your partners sexual heroics. A first letter should include a brief description of yourselves, where you saw the ad, your ad number and your social and sexual interests. An SASE should be included with your original reply as many couples receive a large number of replies which can be costly to reply to.
ENJOY YOURSELF - Most important, have a good time, act out your fantasies, explore your own sexuality and enjoy everything this lifestyle has to offer with enthusiasm, laughter and a positive attitude.
