Duracelbunny's Forum Posts

If I had a penis I'd wear it outside In cafes and carlots with pomp and with pride If I had a penis I'd pamper it proper I'd stay in the tub and use me as a stopper If I had a penis I'd take it to parties Stretch it and stroke it and shove it at smarties I'd take it to pet shows and teach it to stay I'd stuff it in turkeys on thanksgiving day I'd rival my buddies in sportscars and stickshifts I'd shower my spire with girlies and gifts I'd peek around corners I'd aim at my toilet I'd poke it at foreigners And soap it and oil it If I had a penis I'd run to my mother Comb out the hair and compare it to brother I'd lance her, I'd knight her, my hands would endulge Pants would seem tighter and buckle and bulge (chorus) A penis to plunder, a penis to push Cause one in the hand is worth one in the bush A penis to love me, a penis to share... To pick up and play with when nobody's there I'd sit like a guy, I'd straddle the chair I'd play with my fly, albeit with care I'd dip it in chocolate, I'd stick it in sockets Go to the movies with hands deep in pockets I'd stick it in vacuums on vacant verandas Gas-guzzling bottles and poodles and pandas And puddles and drain pipes and doggies and ditches, Poolhalls and potholes and bottles and bitches... Zucchinies and zebras, tomatoes, tomatoes, And pineapple pumpkins, and gulches and grottos, And melons and marshmallows... Gloves and gorillas Slurpies and slippers Chinooks and chinchillas... (chorus) If I had a penis, I'd climb every mountain I'd force it on females I'd pee like a fountain... If I had a penis I'd still be a girl, But I'd make much more money and conquer the world.

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23 Jan 2010

Quote by user=longjon
WARNING::!::!::!: Never attempt to use a power washer...or you will end up with very very sore bits..:giggle:..thats if the bits are still there after

there speaks the voice of experiance .........did you get those bits sewn back on long lol

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18 Jan 2010

fold

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26 Sep 2009

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God, "Lord, I have a problem!" "What's the problem, Eve?" "Lord, I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedy snake, but I'm just not happy." "Why is that, Eve?", comes the reply from above. "Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of apples." "Well, Eve, in that case I have a solution. I shall create a man for you." "What's a 'man,' Lord?" "This man will be a flawed creature, with aggressive tendencies, an enormous ego and an inability to empathize or listen to you properly. All in all he'll give you a hard time. But he'll be bigger and faster and more muscular than you, he'll be really good at fighting and kicking a ball about and hunting fleet-footed ruminants, and not altogether bad in the sack." "Sounds great," says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow. "Yeah, well. He's better than a poke in the eye with a burnt stick. But you can have him on one condition." "What's that, Lord?" "You'll have to let him believe that I made him first."

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