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RoundDaBend
1 month ago
Straight Male, 43
0 km · Westmeath

Forum

What do gynocologists and Pizza delivery drivers have in common? The both get to smell the good stuff all day but they can't eat it ..
A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money. The first does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed. The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed. The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed. The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money, and then he married the one with the biggest tits.
torn between wishing i hadn't gone on the piss yesterday and wishing i had a few quid left to go again 4 the day
I went into the hospital with a bulb hanging out of my arse. The nurse asked "how did this happen?" "I had a really shit idea"