Chit chat

6 Jan 2011

Hi,
Now I've been into a chat a few times and it moves too fast for me and there's lots of in-jokes and familiarity that's hard to get into.
Nothing wrong with that and there's no complaint from me but I thought I'd start up a chat thread on here for newer people like myself to strat talking with other new people and long-term members too.
OOoooOOo... mix it all up... go on!! smile

So... erm... hello. I always find the best conversation starter is a damn good smile, but on a forum that's hard. So I'll have to think of something else... I might just post this while I think... and while I get some work done, I've been slacking badly today and I'm well behind. Maybe someone will post up in the meantime :)

7 Jan 2011

I was thinking (uh-oh)... as I'm quite into the idea of watching and being watched, etc. I really don't know any good names or words for it without it sounding odd. (is it an odd thing anyway? comments welcome on that!)

I mean, theres "voyeurism" and "exhibitionism" but they both are a mouthful (fnaaar) and they sound quite clinical!
There's "flashing", but that can sound a bit creepy, especially when coming from a man. Then there's "watching", which seems to be the best I can think of. But that still feels a bit creepy to me, like a peeping tom. "flashing and "watching" sounds to me more like it's non-consenting, which is just wrong!!
Can anyone think of a better word to describe what I'm on about?
Nice weather for the time of year, by the way smile

(I wonder whether I should put the question to Anything Goes)

7 Jan 2011

Sorry.. I meant to add, when referring to "voyeurism", "exhibitionism" and "flashing", I mean between two or more consenting adults and not involving unsuspecting people!!!

7 Jan 2011

I totally agree with what you're saying about the chat rooms. I get lost so easily with the banter that goes on. Anyhow, I can't think of the word you're looking for either but I know what you mean. Less can be so much more. I love to be teased and that can be in the simplist way with a look that says it all. Wilma

8 Jan 2011

I think maybe sometimes, the subtle stuff gets lost along the way. When people complain that the spark has gone, or there's no excitement, it's those subtle, suggestive, flirtatious moments that make a difference. Makes it certain that you're not just 'going through the motions'. Maybe. Still can't think of a good word to describe what I was on about in the previous post! LOL. So still open to suggestions.

8 Jan 2011

Titillation???

8 Jan 2011

Hello ,good to see that there are others who feel like myself re chat someone of my vintage and not very prolific on computer its not easy keep up or understand all terminology ,most people seem well acquainted with one another and you would feel you were intruding.I am also curious to know why of maybe 25 profiles that had something in common with mine ,and that i replied to remain un read.

8 Jan 2011

Latetrill, do you mean private messages that you have sent that remain unread? I have been looking through a fair number of profiles and I have noticed that quite alot of them haven't had any activity within the last two weeks or more. I have been skipping past those profiles because I get the feeling that there may be quite a number of accounts that are dormant or lapsed, where the account holders don't check in very often. Maybe that's why there are no replies. I haven't sent many messages but for those accounts that are active, I have had very kind replies back, so there are good people around here! smile

8 Jan 2011

Yay Midnightchat, titillation is a good one! :thumbup:
It's a bit "carry on" but that's good... and it contains the word tit which makes it an instant winner. :lick:

8 Jan 2011

Yea ukguy point taken .Midnightchat your on the to the point real quick.

10 Jan 2011

On the other hand, it does really p**s me off when you know an introductory message has been read but the receiver doesn't even bother to acknowledge it! That's just downright fu**ing rude. At least drop a single line back saying thanks for taking the time to write! It doesn't take that long to do and it makes a real difference to the sender, especially if they've genuinely taken a bit of time over their message and their profile!

10 Jan 2011

Guys, keep your powder dry!
This question of replying to mails comes up at least once a month - and there's loads of threads around the Forums that would give you a myriad of answers why mailers don't get replies.
It has been the case that a simple "Thanks, but no thanks" or "Thanks for your interest but I'm not interested in taking things any further" has been a trigger for ongoing abuse from the 'aggrieved mailer' Guys sometimes take rejection very badly - and they react as if they'd been held up in front of the infants class and made to stand in the rubbish bin
The torrent of e-mail fired at the non-responder can be lengthy and upsetting for the receivers and has to be reported to the Admin/Mods of the site in order to get the mailers blocked/warned/banned etc as appropriate.
Therefore many people simply use a caveat on their profile to say that they won't reply to inappropriate mail received from characters they do not wish to fraternise with - and delete all such epistles
I myself used to reply religiously to every communication - however inane and inappropriate - in an effort to maintain my "It's easy to be nice" standards. But even the patience of a Saint would soon be in tatters around here. Now I delete at will - and avoid the hassle - I've even blocked some profiles Not like me at all that :giggle:

10 Jan 2011

Haha, great answer and thanks for explaining! No! I want so much mail that I don't have time to reply to it all!!! *runs off and stamps his feet in a sulk* ... ... *tries to sulk but can't keep a straight face* biggrin

:thumbup: Quick... someone change the subject....

11 Jan 2011

I'm glad!!!
We prefer smiley faces round here :giggle:

14 Jan 2011

Heres another one for you , er bit of a mouthful too but anyway
scopophilia"
the obtaining of sexual pleasure by looking at nude bodies, erotic photographs"
hmm, not really what ur looking for,think mids word seems the best
Psssss just sent ya 200 mail ;)

14 Jan 2011

Sounds very psychoanalyitical! Like "anasyrma"... wahey!! Doesn't really roll off the tongue!! heheh

19 Jan 2011

great post marie !!!...hmmmmmm madame sexy ....trust you to come up with a sexy sounding word like that one eh? u.k guy , great thread , now, tell me more about the watching and being watched .... different things make different people tick , I myself like subtlety , perferring to wonder at what lies beneath rather than see it upfront !!

19 Jan 2011

how about this term from the urban dictionary ..... voyaddictive . addicted to looking at people .

19 Jan 2011

Quote by user=ukguy
On the other hand, it does really p**s me off when you know an introductory message has been read but the receiver doesn't even bother to acknowledge it! That's just downright fu**ing rude. At least drop a single line back saying thanks for taking the time to write! It doesn't take that long to do and it makes a real difference to the sender, especially if they've genuinely taken a bit of time over their message and their profile!

I posted this response on the let some steam off thread, it might explain why some of us don't answer. My profile says not meeting for now, yet I still get requests. Likewise couples looking for other couples or solo females would probably agree the majority of the mail they get is from solo guys:
it might help to remember that the mail you send is most likely unsolicited, there is no onus to respond. Yes, it might seem rude not to respond but that's the chance you take. Not everyone feels they want to log on to this site to compose emails and some of us have tired of the fact that when you email and say thanks for the email but it's not for me right now it leads to further emails asking why not, how can I change your mind, ah go on , ya will ya will ya will..........
I personally do not answer mail. I log in to chat and perform my mod duties. I won't apologise for not responding, that's my choice. I understand that it seems rude but it's a choice I have made in order to protect my enjoyment of the site. To give an idea as to why, I'd say that since joining the site I have received over 7,000 emails (a conservative estimate). If I had answered every single one I'd have tired fairly quickly of the whole thing.

19 Jan 2011

Thanks for the explanation, midnight. Having read a few posts on the subject and read your reply, I can understand exactly why mails might not get a reply. biggrin

19 Jan 2011

Quote by user=aurorablue
great post marie !!!...hmmmmmm madame sexy ....trust you to come up with a sexy sounding word like that one eh? u.k guy , great thread , now, tell me more about the watching and being watched .... different things make different people tick , I myself like subtlety , perferring to wonder at what lies beneath rather than see it upfront !!

Aurora, that's a pretty good way of putting what I'm getting at, yeah! Sometimes it's not just about getting your baps out or lifting your skirt! That's fine if you're at a party, Mardi Gras or Rio Carnival... or just in that kind of mood! It's a great laugh but there's a time and a place.
Ever looked at someone and thought "They're hot... I wonder what he/she's like under there?". I do it... most guys do without a doubt. And what would you do if he/she took a look over at you and did something sexy to make you look twice? ...what would that something need to be to make you want to have another good look? It's not going to be them whacking their assets out on the table! Well... it might be... but you're more likely to shake your head and roll your eyes. rolleyes

So... it's gonna be something more subtle than that.
I'll leave it to your imagination what action it would be to make you look again... maybe some people could post and say what they think? If it were you, what would you imagine would be a great way to tempt a guy to keep looking? And would you enjoy the feeling that a nice fella is catching a good look at you?! I guess it's like drawing attention to yourself using some sexy body language... and getting a kick out of it.
As you say, half the fun is using your imagination to wonder what lies beneath. And for the other half, who's doing the showing, there's the thrill of being seen, and also of keeping aspects about yourself a mystery!

19 Jan 2011

funny how diverse the human psyche is...i would also gravitate to the watch/being watched scenario but it comes from the fantasy of being spied upon or watching someone who is oblivious to my presence. I dont know what it means about me or where it came from but all i can say is it is a pivotal aspect to most of my fantasies and perhaps not so common, looking at the comments:uhoh:

19 Jan 2011

Actually, speaking of baps....is there a sandwich going? i could go a cheese and chutney xx

19 Jan 2011

Quote by user=love2watchU
Actually, speaking of baps....is there a sandwich going? i could go a cheese and chutney xx

Haha... no, but I could pop a sausage between a couple of buns for you!
:bounce:

19 Jan 2011

Oooooooh, Matron! Kenneth Williams would be turning in his grave:giggle:

20 Jan 2011

Quote by user=love2watchU
funny how diverse the human psyche is...i would also gravitate to the watch/being watched scenario but it comes from the fantasy of being spied upon or watching someone who is oblivious to my presence. I dont know what it means about me or where it came from but all i can say is it is a pivotal aspect to most of my fantasies and perhaps not so common, looking at the comments:uhoh:

When I was at University, I had some ideas for a video and photographic art project that involved something that's perhaps related to what you're saying. It involved inviting people to volunteer to be followed and watched. The idea was that the person would be told that at various times in the coming months, they would be followed and spied on... they would be watched, photographed and videoed in the street... at work... at home. The breadth of voyeurism would be total... from watching them do mundane things like shopping, right down to spying on them showering, masturbating, sleeping, doing all their most personal things. While they would know that they will be followed at some point in the future, they wouldn't know where or when. A couple of girls said they loved the idea of being spied on like that and got a thrill out of wondering whether they are being watched.
The project never came into being because it was so unrelated to any of my other artwork that I couldn't really justify it! Shame.
There were some quite full-on experiments at our college... one involving reversing a van into a busy university area, in full view of the principal's office window, throwing open the rear doors to display a big girl in full PVC bondage gear, heavily tied upright and spread-eagled in the back, accompanied by a guy in a gimp mask and leather jock-strap, holding a chainsaw! They stayed for a short while, revving the chainsaw and then screeched off! Stunning! Hahaha.

20 Jan 2011

:laughabove: Are you sure that was an experiment?,sounds more like a regular night out to me :clap:

20 Jan 2011

hahaha... I wish I lived down your street!!! Never a dull moment!

25 Jan 2011

Midnight, yes, its strange if guys send u a mail when you have clearly stated "not meeting anyone new", However, its also very annoying that when a couple or a single fem , have in there "looking for " column, "single guys", you send them a pm, and they reply ,sorry not looking for single males banghead

frustraing

29 Jan 2011

Quote by icer11
Midnight, yes, its strange if guys send u a mail when you have clearly stated "not meeting anyone new", However, its also very annoying that when a couple or a single fem , have in there "looking for " column, "single guys", you send them a pm, and they reply ,sorry not looking for single males frustraing

I totally agree, I think profiles should be worded thoughtfully, not just for what you want but also to ensure that people do not waste their time or suffer an uneccessary rejection. This goes across the board in life not just in here. I am currently seeking work and applied for a job where they highlighted the type of person they were looking for. Now they did state experience in a certain field was DESIRABLE but not necessary as full training would be given. Application sent off and replied to about 10 minutes later.......'Dear Mid, thanks for your application but you have no experience in the DESIRABLE field so you won't be progressing any further.' I was so annoyed at this that a sent back a polite email saying
'Dear Ms. ****,
thank you for your response. I was prompted to apply by the following text on your advertisement '***or **** experience desirable, but not essential, as full training will be provided'. Perhaps you may wish to review that statement in order that people do not needlessly forward their personal details to you.'
Likewise here, it might be a good idea to review our profiles to ensure we are not 'falsely advertising' every once and a while. Better to be clear in our requirements and state these openly. By rights I should state on my profile that I don't usually answer mail, but this is too black and white and would suggest I do not want to receive ANY mail. It might discourage mail of any sort.