posted earlier by only-me "a little bit of respect for those who go on cam is well and truly needing applied with some of the rooms I've been in lately; because you know what, there is nobody would want to come on to this site to spend an evening being verbally abused no matter how horny, impatient or twisted the abuser is"
from my own observations and conversations with others I can only agree with all the only-me has said.
There have been many discussions about this in the past on the subject of "whispers" Despite the introduction of the "disable whispers" option, there would still appear to be a high incidence of abusive and inappropriate whispers, and "there is no taking back the stone once thrown"
It is a pity that a few bad apples are ruining a fun resource for the many.
However to protect the women and some men of S41 an equitable solution needs to be found.
A "last whisper" to public button might make some think twice about what they say. This would put the last inappropriate whisper to public, flag the chat logs & automatically notify a moderator that there is a problem.
Or rather than the "global" enable whisper currently available, the user could only "enable whispers" for selected profiles, this would force the whisperer to ask in public for permission to whisper.
The least preferable option would be "no whispers" in public rooms.
As the rooms are being upgraded & feature extra facilities perhaps now is the time to yet again address the issue of whispers.
-If you cannot say something nice about someone, don't say anything at all-
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Whisperers
Exactly Alan, and if they don't like what the see on cam then don't look!!
I would be all for an 'ignore' button, were as if someone was continuingly hassling and been abusive via whisper and there was no mod about at the time, all you had to do is highlight their name and click ignore then their text is not visible to you be it in whisper or main chat.
exactly Alan, someway of selecting who one allows whispers from would be great. While we now can disable whispers, this has the disadvantage of disableing all whispers. Not all whispers are unwelcome but some are so offensive they have to be seen to be believed, but unfortunately its the few bad apples in the barrel syndrome. Amberx's idea of an ignore option is an excellent idea, it is already there for receiving mail, so cannot that option be enhanced to stop all contact from the offenders profile.
I cannot understand why some guys (speaking from a female point of view) seem to think that becasue we are brave enough to go on cam that we are fair game for all sorts of rude and down right insulting comments, esp in whispers, they are not even man enough to say it in main chat. Chat should be treated the same as if you speaking to someone face to face, therefore you should not whisper something that you would not normally whisper to somone beside you.
If you cant say something nice, best say nothing at all!
I cannot understand why some guys (speaking from a female point of view) seem to think that becasue we are brave enough to go on cam that we are fair game for all sorts of rude and down right insulting comments, esp in whispers, they are not even man enough to say it in main chat. Chat should be treated the same as if you speaking to someone face to face, therefore you should not whisper something that you would not normally whisper to somone beside you.
If you cant say something nice, best say nothing at all!
Hear hear!
If you cant say something nice, best say nothing at all!
Hear hear!
Never bother to enable Whispers as I don't want to fully disable the function, but out of curiousity how do you know if they are enabled or disabled, does a symbol show up on your name that they are disabled or something like that? Ya could be easily enabling n disabling and ya wouldn't have a clue what's goin on or which way it's at!!
Cutie,Lightharted, I do agree with you both as a stright male who was told by another male I was too ugly to be on cam in a whisper (and his profile said stright male lol so why the hell was he looking??)Amberrx has a good Idea I do talk to friends in whispers so an ignore button is no good however an ignore profile would be handy lol but that said Im here to meet and chat to people, and I have, and I must say, Iv meet and chatted to some wonderfull folk, so the odd asshole,is no big deal, look at them as they are....sad wannaby's
Quote by user=head46
Cutie,Lightharted, I do agree with you both as a stright male who was told by another male I was too ugly to be on cam in a whisper (and his profile said stright male lol so why the hell was he looking??)Amberrx has a good Idea I do talk to friends in whispers so an ignore button is no good however an ignore profile would be handy lol but that said Im here to meet and chat to people, and I have, and I must say, Iv meet and chatted to some wonderfull folk, so the odd asshole,is no big deal, look at them as they are....sad wannaby's
Ah head with an ignore button you choose who you would ignore, (not everyone) so that would exclude your friends....I hope :lol2:
Nothng shows beside your name to show if your whispers are disabled or not, and to block a whisper you have to go into tools section in chat to do it, and as its at top of chat box and your posting box is at bottom, it would be impossible to activate or deactivate by accident..assuming I read your query right there...lol...
Personally my take on whole whisper debate is as before...unless their nasty or rude I ignore them as they go away quicker then repeatdly telling them not to whisper as they will now assume your blocker is on when they get no response....overall I think admin has done a great job in taking notes of what members want and have tried to impliment the changes where they can without too much disruption...and sure there are good and bad aspects to some of them but for me they enjoyment of the site far outweighs the few who try to belittle others, and those kind of ppl never last long on any site, they move one, but being the internet we will always have them...lol
Mother of Godddddd Sherri ffs !!!! C'MON I mighnt't be the sharpest tool but I would be safely aware whispers would be a tad difficult to actually manually re-activate!!
You know what I meant was one doesn't know for sure, if they have them off or on! Well ok doh u go press the enable or disable button, but ya mightn't hit the button fully or something like that and you won't know .....
Jeez Sherri giz a girl some credit ..... !!!!
Sex God
When you enter chat your whispers are defaulted at enabled...you have to select to block them. Plain and simple..and if you had them off by accident you wont be long finding out if someone legit tells you to 'Turn yer whispers on ffs lol'
I dont think it needs too much explanation.
Nobody whispers me!!!! lol
It is a personal thing, for my part, I reply to whispers that are genuine or appear to be of that nature.
Lets face it, we have all whispered people in error!
We have all encountered whispers that have bordered on the ridiculous, that said sometimes new members join the site, see you in the chat having the banter and whisper for advice.
I am not a fan of the "Whisper blocker function" and have made that clear from day one. Would we not all be where we are today had we not whispered in the early days?
Whisper blocker is disabled when I am in the chatrooms and will remain so on my part!
Just my thoughts.
Padds
Alan a great post once again!
The Theme of this thread,,, has meandered from whispering too that of INSULTs
I admire anyone that has the balls (including Alan's sorry, just had to post that!)
I for one cam frequently, I have been infact been known to "showercam" in the brekkie club, that has now become a rarity, having been offended by a "female" her comments which I will not share or divulge here, purely because she knows I am talking about her, where uncalled for!
It takes alot to have the guts to go on cam! as a guy its not always about flashing your credentials to woo people! I go on cam to prove a point, that point being I am Padds and soo people can put a face to an name, people that you have chatted with, possibly flurted with and have met.
Anyway, enough of my ranting..... off to bed.
Padds x
Hi forum first i didnt see the need for the "whisper disable" button untill i got a phone call from mrs candy. She informed me she was getting alot of whispers from guys asking her where in laois she was to say she didnt give out this sensitive info but she was informed by one chatter he knew where she lived.I told her to avail of the above feature, inform the room publicly not to whisper and if it presist's inform a mod.
xxxxxxxxxxxxx mr candy xxxxxxxxxxx
Zaza firstly you asked: (1) does a symbol show up on your name that they are disabled.
I answered : (1)nothing shows beside you name to show is your whispers are disabled or not.
Secondly you commented: (2) Ya could be easly enabling n disabling and ya wouldn’t have a clue what’s goin on or which way it’s at!!
I amswered : (2) to block a whisper you have to go into tools section in chat to do it, and as its at top of chat box and your posting box is at bottom, it would be impossible to activate or deactivate by accident.
Clearly as nothing shows beside your name to indicate if your whispers are active or not, common sense would tell you to check the tools section to see, as that is the area you would use to deactivate or reactivate them , you’re a long time chatter not a newbie, and I would have thought you knew your way around the chat application.
I for one wasn’t insulting your intelligence, so I don’t know where that rant came from, but frankly neither am I interested in finding out!!
I answered : (1)nothing shows beside you name to show is your whispers are disabled or not.
Secondly you commented: (2) Ya could be easly enabling n disabling and ya wouldn’t have a clue what’s goin on or which way it’s at!!
I amswered : (2) to block a whisper you have to go into tools section in chat to do it, and as its at top of chat box and your posting box is at bottom, it would be impossible to activate or deactivate by accident.
Quote by user=ladyzaza
Never bother to enable Whispers as I don't want to fully disable the function, but out of curiousity how do you know if they are enabled or disabled, (1) does a symbol show up on your name that they are disabled or something like that? (2) Ya could be easily enabling n disabling and ya wouldn't have a clue what's goin on or which way it's at!!
Quote by user=sherri
(1)Nothng shows beside your name to show if your whispers are disabled or not, and (2) to block a whisper you have to go into tools section in chat to do it, and as its at top of chat box and your posting box is at bottom, it would be impossible to activate or deactivate by accident ..assuming I read your query right there...lol...
Clearly as nothing shows beside your name to indicate if your whispers are active or not, common sense would tell you to check the tools section to see, as that is the area you would use to deactivate or reactivate them , you’re a long time chatter not a newbie, and I would have thought you knew your way around the chat application.
I for one wasn’t insulting your intelligence, so I don’t know where that rant came from, but frankly neither am I interested in finding out!!
Personally i never switch whispers off.. I also whisper back but its a matter of respect..
People ask can they whisper..ones who realise ur having a laugh in main will whisper one thing and leave u be...or tell u u look nice on cam, or whatever.. think it shows a lot about a person to how they behave with u.
When someone constantly whispers u while ur having a laugh and going with the flow..well shows alot about that person that they want to take u away from the jovial chat in the room..for their own pleasure.
Might be an indication to how they behave in the real world also.
Warming the Bed
whispers must be a distraction to say the least for all people from time to time especially those on cam..i would think that non response is the best way to get the behaviour to cease..
for the whispers that are in pure bad taste i think that public posting of those by the unfortunate receipient is by far the best way to make the sender shrivel up to nothing...and slink away...
perhaps the final word on whispers might be
"do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up" .... found this, this morning and apparently it is from the bible, but I think it it appropriate in this case and definately worth remembering.
i know i am on a new profile, but i have been here before,
if your in a hosted room and you get too many repeated unwanted whispers from the same person and you have asked them in open chat not to, then it does fall to the host to poilce that room if no mod is present, and the host is duty bound to enforce the chatroom rules, then we have the mods, and they will, and have shown that they will try to stop the person with warnings and if nessesary removing them from the room. There will never really be an answer to this problem, but try to learn the room hosts name, and ask them to interviene, or go find a mod, i have noticed that they do now make themselves more mobile through the rooms, and spread themselves out better.
In the time i was off the site i have used other sites, and this one def has the best policing systems for the protection of it;s users and chatters, the rules are easy to understand, and are there for us all, if someone breaks them, your right to have them rules work against this sort of beaviour, x x x x x
Okay my pennies worth, offensive whispers I always ignored, finding that the eejits soon got tired of it and stopped, but I can understand how others do get upset..
What really got to me though, was the times that I was insulted in main chat, it has been happening far too often..
Why should the mods have to deal with this type of behaviour?
This is a swing site, every member deserves respect, and I would ask some of the guys firing off offensive comments, would you go into a club, bar or night club and insult a woman?
I doubt it, true swingers respect each other, they don't pass offensive comments or whispers, or insult those who are brave enough to cam..
If you don't get this , then perhaps you have joined the wrong site.
it would appear from some posts in the "let some steam off" & "ageism" that the whisperers are still as bad as ever with their un-welcome & often offensive remarks, unfortunately it seems to be males making the remarks about women & some couples. Is it any wonder that the single male is not welcomed!!!
without doubt repeat offenders should be banned
Sex God
Quote by user=alan-ball...And they do be.
without doubt repeat offenders should be banned
As a Member of the Mod team I felt I might add something to this discussion.
1. Nuisance whisperers in the main back off when you ignore them, being on cam this may take a bit longer but believe me the ignoring of them normally works a whole lot quicker than posting in main for such menial things as 'Hi how are you' In no way am I defending the whisperers, but you will find the ignore method is normally quickest and cleanest cut off to them.
People(and unfortunately almost exclusively single males..yes even the ones posing as couples..by the way we know who you are and are slowly making our way through you one by one!!!)who do post nasty whispers as a 'parting shot' to those that dont reciprocate the whisper show a distinct lack of maturity and level of desperation that makes most couples/single females run a mile. Everyone on this site is deserving of the same respect you would pay any decent individual in the real yourself this, in the real world you would go on like this, why do it in the cyber world if you ever hope to meet anyone from here?
3. Being a Mod on here means a lot more than just kicking offenders and warning people 'no directing/ask permission to whisper' We also have to do back round work while being present in chat, i.e. answering members queries,approving images and keeping a general eye on things on the site as a whole. With that in mind some people at times tend to find sport in naming whisperers that send menial whispers 'Hi' etc in the hope we(Mods) will kick them. We do appreciate that whispers can get very obstructive to the chat, and the posting of regular warnings Should remind the whisperers of the rules.
the long term you will find that actually making an effort to talk to people in main chat first may lead to consensual whispers and in turn whatever it may lead to from there.
Alan/Titan
I can see life from both sides.
Whispers in there existence:
1. Would we not all be here for unsolicted whispers in the early stages?
2. Whispers of a rude nature, should not be permitted, but to what lenghts can the site take to stop them?
Whispers are here and here too stay, no multitude of new options will prevent them. The site is growing as every new day dawns, new members join that are un-aware of the sites AUP rules.
I agree that it can be frustrated for longterm members to have too endure those unsolicted whispers from the newbies, but that said, those same whispers, is that not a compliment in itself?
Alan your a great guy, and a pal of mine, infact over time I would like to think you would become a MOD.
In the interim, as Titan explained, being a MOD, it's not all about sitting in the chatrooms, issuing warnings, posting notices in the chatrooms!!
I as an ex-MOD re-assure you, the back office work requires committment, devotion and time, time that members don't see. Approving pics, dealing with site issues and at the same time multi-tasking being the MOD in the room but also, ensuring that the site progresses.
Padds
I have to say folks, although the issue of whispers on, off or available at all is not really the issue that is being skirted around in this thread; but the issue actually comes back to the orignal comment previously raised by Only-me and the is:-
no-one comes on here to be abused!!!
No-one needs abuse, either on the cams as the original post or in the chat rooms through whispers or open chat. To remove the whispers will only drive the people who give abuse into another avenue of abuse.
A fair way to deal with these persistent or repeat abusive people would perhaps be a wall of shame where abusive people are named and shamed; and if applied sensibly by the members it could be monitored for fair naming and shaming. Why should we sit silently waiting for the abuser to get bored; if they're brave enough to be abusive then they should get the credit they deserve for their efforts... Named and Shamed... and block or kick them out of rooms if they come into a room again and start the same routine with another. It wouldn't stop abuse from being made but it would stem the flow and make people think twice about why they are here and how they want other people to feel. After all guys, we are all real people with feelings, families, friends and personal lives of everything that makes us who we are.
Ok, I may be rough in my sketchy thoughts; but it would be a tangiable option that could be developed and basically help provide a better environment for the decent swing community to enjoy the site as it should be.
Well, that's my little thought for today, I feel it is better to offer a solution to the problem and promote a fun environment, this should be fun after all, life is short, too short for nonsesnse of abuse.
Thanks Alan for raising this thread for good discussion.
I, Disagree
"A fair way to deal with these persistent or repeat abusive people would perhaps be a wall of shame where abusive people are named and shamed; and if applied sensibly by the members it could be monitored for fair naming and shaming."
Where would that get the site?
Naming and shaming does nothing but generate fuel for fire!
My opinion
Padds'
Sex God
Quote by user=sabrecat1
I have to say folks, although the issue of whispers on, off or available at all is not really the issue that is being skirted around in this thread; but the issue actually comes back to the orignal comment previously raised by Only-me and the is:-
no-one comes on here to be abused!!!
No-one needs abuse, either on the cams as the original post or in the chat rooms through whispers or open chat. To remove the whispers will only drive the people who give abuse into another avenue of abuse.
A fair way to deal with these persistent or repeat abusive people would perhaps be a wall of shame where abusive people are named and shamed; and if applied sensibly by the members it could be monitored for fair naming and shaming. Why should we sit silently waiting for the abuser to get bored; if they're brave enough to be abusive then they should get the credit they deserve for their efforts... Named and Shamed... and block or kick them out of rooms if they come into a room again and start the same routine with another. It wouldn't stop abuse from being made but it would stem the flow and make people think twice about why they are here and how they want other people to feel. After all guys, we are all real people with feelings, families, friends and personal lives of everything that makes us who we are.
Ok, I may be rough in my sketchy thoughts; but it would be a tangiable option that could be developed and basically help provide a better environment for the decent swing community to enjoy the site as it should be.
Well, that's my little thought for today, I feel it is better to offer a solution to the problem and promote a fun environment, this should be fun after all, life is short, too short for nonsesnse of abuse.
Thanks Alan for raising this thread for good discussion.
Sabrecat we have an abuse report system here for the instances of people getting abuse in chat or email, on each members profile you will see a link to submit an abuse report and on average these reports are picked up by the Mod team every half hour or so. We do follow through on all abuse reports and in turn apply the rules of the site when required.
A name and shame wall would make this place a very nasty place over time, it breeds alynch mob mentality and that helps no one, and as imperfect as the current situation is with the few immature whisperers that do cause trouble, its still a lot better than if we had people attacking others on here over such a wall of shame.
Permit me to be to Frank here Frank...
Unsolicited whispers (very often nasty whispers) are for many a real problem on sites, not everyone has the steel of balls that you appear to have, it can be upsetting and downright frustrating for people who come in to enjoy chat and have the courage to cam for others..
The fact that other members are taking time out to try and help highlight that fact is a credit to them, hopefuly those who do engage in such pathetic behaviour may just chance to read this thread and realise what absolute arseholes they are!
Sometimes Frank when we see a thread such as this, our brains engage first before we speak, hence it encourages those who fall victim of said arseholes to be deal with the problem, and encourages other members to feel they can post their own thoughts on the subject...
