lovebird I understand wat your saying...but like u said the mods are busy and that. I always say try and say hi to people and give newbies a bit of friendly advice (which a lot of the time is thrown back in my face!)
Chat can be hard to break into...I tell anyone just do what I in say hi and butt in to others conversations! eventually someone has to talk to you!
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what does it take??
I dont know if this is the case in what previous posters experienced but something that might be worth noting is this: Many people open up multiple pages on site and then log into lots of rooms, so even though they are listed in a room they may not actually be using it as they are chatting in another room. I have regularly come across rooms with people in them that seem to be inactive but i just keep moving around til i find one where people are chatting. As a new member too, i have to say there have been many long standing members who DID say 'Hi & welcome' when i did get the courage to go into the chatrooms and i think they far outnumber the other type. Like everything in life, I think you just have to give it a chance and you'll find it'll come good. x
Hiya lovebird 
and welcome back hon
first off let me say that i do know where you are coming from BUT i know from my experience of being on here all the time :eeek: :giggle: that alot of people whether they newbies or lurkers will just sit there and not speak at all. For whatever reason they do not join chat. If someone new comes in and says hi i will always try to say hello and if i don;t reconize the name i will say welcome to chat. There is quite of few of us regular joes that do that (apple, bi, kk, tatts, etc etc etc) and usually the mods in the room do that as well. Busty, sean and sherri are great at asking how they getting on etc and i have seen all the other mods welcome people in when they say hello to the room. Many couples do that as well.
I guess the point i am trying to make in my short, shy way is that it takes two parties to have a conversation. All is well when they say ..Hi room and then leave it at that 
As for coming in and trying to break into the "community" at night time...well thats just hard. Too many people know eachother are are having a conversation..chat is flying..people in whispers trying to get lucky....hell i can't even keep up when i am in at night time. I would suggest that your friend comes in during the day if possible or evening when its not so busy. I think he or she would fare much better. Lovebird and if its a man you know its twice as hard for him because the messers have ruined it for the genuine guys. Sadly. If it helps any 
send him my way and i will welcome him :rascal: I am not making light of your forum hon but it takes a while for anyone to gain the trust. So happy chatting and happy hunting to your friend....btw love2 is so right about people being in more than one room at a time...drives me nuts so it does but the nosey feckers 
is covering all their bases :lol2:
:kiss: worship
and welcome back hon
first off let me say that i do know where you are coming from BUT i know from my experience of being on here all the time :eeek: :giggle: that alot of people whether they newbies or lurkers will just sit there and not speak at all. For whatever reason they do not join chat. If someone new comes in and says hi i will always try to say hello and if i don;t reconize the name i will say welcome to chat. There is quite of few of us regular joes that do that (apple, bi, kk, tatts, etc etc etc) and usually the mods in the room do that as well. Busty, sean and sherri are great at asking how they getting on etc and i have seen all the other mods welcome people in when they say hello to the room. Many couples do that as well.
I guess the point i am trying to make in my short, shy way is that it takes two parties to have a conversation. All is well when they say ..Hi room and then leave it at that As for coming in and trying to break into the "community" at night time...well thats just hard. Too many people know eachother are are having a conversation..chat is flying..people in whispers trying to get lucky....hell i can't even keep up when i am in at night time. I would suggest that your friend comes in during the day if possible or evening when its not so busy. I think he or she would fare much better. Lovebird and if its a man you know its twice as hard for him because the messers have ruined it for the genuine guys. Sadly. If it helps any send him my way and i will welcome him :rascal: I am not making light of your forum hon but it takes a while for anyone to gain the trust. So happy chatting and happy hunting to your friend....btw love2 is so right about people being in more than one room at a time...drives me nuts so it does but the nosey feckers is covering all their bases :lol2:
:kiss: worship i am going to give my opinion on this .... it is not the job of a moderator on this site to be a meet and greeter ...mods are arbitrators , many of which themselves do not get involved in the chatting on screen at times , I think whilst everyone understands that its not nice to be ignored in a room , end of the day this is the internet and an adult site , if anyone here needs their hand held i think they on the wrong , not sure where your going with the pulling device accusation there , all i will say is that i think your entitled to your opinion , indeed if you think you could do a better job moderating this site , please do apply .Quite frankly , theres enough shitstirring here on the forums to turn people off this site , please dont add to it . If you have a genuine complaint please mail admin and the matter will be looked into , this type of thread serves no purpose .
Im not going to repeat what kk and worship put so well i totally agree with what both are saying.:wave2:
I will always say hello to anyone who enters the chat room when they say hello to the room or hello to me directly. Or if they post in the forums I will always do my best to answer questions etc.
I actually started out in the forums, reading posts, posting myself too. I then went to the meet and greet in october and met the lovely worship who every no and then invited me out for a smoke when she thought i looked a little lost :therethere: after about an hour or so i relaxed got chatting to some lovely people who introduced me to others and when i eventually did enter in to chat some "knew" me from posting in the forums or from the meet and greet, that said there would of course be days i would go in and either no one would be chatting or i would be ignored and i simply put it down to they are chatting to people they know. And id go back another day.
The chat can move very fast and as worship pointed out you can very easily be lost amongst those who know each other so well and those who are chatting away in main or whispering to each other.
They are not being rude as you put it but catching up with friends and sometimes thats all some are interested in.
To be honest i dont understand why people get so upset about it or why individuals get upset about nobody wanting to meet them, at the end of the day this is a swing site its not reality and its where people come to play,granted some including me have been very lucky to meet some amazing people who are really really nice, down to earth genuine and good craic. But if people do not want to talk or meet im sorry but they dont have to...really id hate to see this site get overlly pc and everything kept 100% to plesentaries talking about the weather to have conversation for the sake of having it.
On the point about the mods i have found them to be nothing but unbelievably helpful in every way right down to answering stupid questions etc but as the title states they are moderators they are here to ensure the site and chat and its members abide and keep to the rules of site i.e no whispering without permission, to step in and stop arguments, prevent people being abused etc something they do voluntarily, it is not their job to look up every person that enters chat to see if they are a newbie and then hold their hand while they are on chat.
I would say to your friend to keep at it, if it is a she it wont take long for her to get into the swing of chat so to speak the ladies do tend to look out for each other. If its a guy its to be expected it will take him sometime to actually get into conversation amongst the sea of men who join the site.
lol that was longer than i thought lol.....thats what happens when your a morning person
:happy:
Lovebird,
You have more standing on the site than you think.
There was a thread on this exact topic earlier in the week. I know cos I made the same point on it as you so eloquently put in your post. The thread vanished without trace, like the Marie Celeste, which makes your point in spades.
There are very few new people in the chat rooms. Worship, you are looking at it from your point of view. You are part of the estabished group. And no,I am not saying you are a clic or anything, its just a fact.
When one of the group come into the room, there is an abundance of air kissing and welcoming from the other members of a group. It actually on occasion drowns any conversation going on while they all say hello to each other. If there are five or six of the group, thats ten or twelve lines of air kisses. You can be also damn sure there is lots of whispering going on with the group, and lots of that whispering will be commenting on new people or people that dont normally chat.
So think of it from that angle. Think how intimidating that is to get a word in. Think how annoying it is if you do actually take the courage to chat and suddenly find yourself buried under air kisses and wasnt last night so funny, and wasnt X so much fun....
And then think again why the rooms are otherwise silent!
It is the ppl who make up any site, but the moderators are the ones who set the tone and the rules...
Incorrect, mods do not make the site rules, Admin do.
Mods do not set the tone, the entire population of the room at the time do.
but the fact that a 'mod' is in the room...this makes it a hell of alot worse, and yes before you say it, yes i do know mods can be busy dealing with many different issues, but if they are in the room with their 'star' shining they should acknowledge a person.
Mods can indeed be very busy at given times, perhaps theres an issue going on in whispers they are tryin to deal with that you know nothing about……
I myself have a much darker veiw of this kind of situation, i know that some, not all mods, use their stars as a 'pulling' device.
Its offenisive to the rest of us and damaging to the site.
A very serious accusation and I suggest you mail Admin about this.
When i did against all odds get a conversation going i was told i was 'spoiling' for an arguement.....amazing....
Perhaps the manner in which your comments came across looked that way , and the tone you were setting….
Mods are not here to hold anyones hand, yes if they need help or assistance ALL of us will be too glad to help, and yes 99% of the tie we do try to help and encourage newbies, but we are all not free all the time to help each and every new person who comes into a chat room…
As has already been an adult chat room,,,,,,,,,
Incorrect, mods do not make the site rules, Admin do.
Mods do not set the tone, the entire population of the room at the time do.
but the fact that a 'mod' is in the room...this makes it a hell of alot worse, and yes before you say it, yes i do know mods can be busy dealing with many different issues, but if they are in the room with their 'star' shining they should acknowledge a person.
Mods can indeed be very busy at given times, perhaps theres an issue going on in whispers they are tryin to deal with that you know nothing about……
I myself have a much darker veiw of this kind of situation, i know that some, not all mods, use their stars as a 'pulling' device.
Its offenisive to the rest of us and damaging to the site.
A very serious accusation and I suggest you mail Admin about this.
When i did against all odds get a conversation going i was told i was 'spoiling' for an arguement.....amazing....
Perhaps the manner in which your comments came across looked that way , and the tone you were setting….
Mods are not here to hold anyones hand, yes if they need help or assistance ALL of us will be too glad to help, and yes 99% of the tie we do try to help and encourage newbies, but we are all not free all the time to help each and every new person who comes into a chat room…
As has already been an adult chat room,,,,,,,,,
