wots the best poem u heard for valentines.. may it be loving, durttty, or just plain sweet
mine is: Roses are red,
Violets are corny,
When I think of you
Ohh baby I get horny,
Eat me,
Beat me,
Bite me,
Suck me,
**** me,
Very slowly,
if you kiss me,
dont be sassy,
Use your tongue and make it nasty!!!! :evil2:
aww boo u said al them to me at the weekend n i thoughtu made them up jst 4 me cus u loved me lol
I`ve got a plug
You`ve got a socket
Let`s put them together
And go like a rocket
{Teddys poem, and yes with that sad poem he got laid}
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Bend over now
And i`ll give you a scew
{ravens poem and no way in hell did the gobshite that sent it get laid}
roses are red
voilets are twisted
bend over love
ur about to get fisted
roses are shit
voilets are crap
show us ur clit
and i'll cum in ur lap
roses are red
it elementry
let's ring up a friend
and try double entry
got these last year first 2 didnt work,if the 3rd had been sent by a bloke he might have got lucky :evil2:
A Woman's Prayer.....
As you lay me down to mate:doggy:
I pray you don't prematurely ejaculate,
But if you cum before I do
I pray your tongue will see me through......:lick:
Ode to Daisy
There is a friend named Daisy,
She drives me oh so crazy.
From her bottom to her tip
I long to feel each bit
And yet she calls me lazy:evil2:
Roses are red, this poems real corny
It’s supposed to tell you, you make me feel horny
That it’s you I’ve longed for from afar
And that I want to make love to you over the car
How forever to you, I’ll always be true
And that I’ll never leave you for that fit bloke on floor Two
How with you I always want to spend my day
Tied to the kitchen sink, whilst our 23 kids outside do play
About how I love your smile and your eyes
And how when you kiss me I get butterflies
How I like it when you do this or that
And that I even like you when you act like a prat
But my darling I can’t tell such lies
‘Cause for you I only feel loathe and despise
And the idea of spending time with you is torture
I’d really rather be hung drawn and quarter(ed)
I’ve written this little ode so you’ll no longer be misled
About who I dream of having tucked up in my bed
So make yourself comfortable, and listen as I define
Why you’ve no hope in hell of being my Valentine!
This might sound shallow and full of self care
But I can’t walk down the street with you, just look at your hair
You’ve really bad breath and you stink of B.O.
You’re the male equivalent of a dirty skanky ho
You can’t dance for toffee, ‘cause your stiff as cardboard
And I’m not into the Max Bygraves records you hoard
I don’t like to go train spotting or to collect stamps
And I’ve no interest in the maggot you keep in your pants
You’re dress sense is more Oxfam, than Gucci or Armani
And its doesn’t impress me that you know the words to Pupunanny
I’m not thrilled by the fact that your head only comes up to my chest
And no I can’t just use it as a place for my boobs to rest
You aint got sexy footballers legs like Mr Rooney
And your teeth are more Austin Powers than George Clooney
Your knees are knobbly and your hands are too small
You get drunk after one shandy and you can’t kick a ball
You’ve no sense of direction, and your co-ordinations naff
And who are you kidding with your fake dirty laugh?
Add to that the fact your jokes are crap
And you really are drippier than an old broken tap
I hope my constructive criticism hasn’t caused you offence
But that you’ve got the point now, because I know you’re so dense
And all your begging and pleading won’t sway my mind
Unless you win the lottery jackpot or a million pounds you do find
Now “Sweetheart†there’s only one thing left for me to say
Hope you have a really “FANTASTIC†Valentines Day!
I`am sending that to my ex :haha:
Roses are crap,
Violets are wonky,
Oooh I've just come,
Pass me a hanky.
Roses are stupid,
Violets are silly,
Grease up your flaps,
Cos here comes my willy.
Roses are awful,
Violets are the pits,
Lift up your shirt,
And show us your tits.
Roses are crap,
Violets are shit,
Sit on my face,
And wiggle a bit.
Roses are red , viloets are blue.
I am bored out of my skull, fancy a shag?
I wish I were a daffodil
out in full bloom
Then you'd come and pick me
and take me to your room
And when at night you go to sleep
all tucked up in your cot
Still thinking I'm a daffodil
You'd soon find out I'm not
xxxxxxxxxanny
I have my moments lol xxxxxxxxxxxxx
I said to you, "Oh, please be mine;
Be mine forever, Valentine."
I must have seemed like quite a fool,
Although I thought I was being cool.
I swore that we would never part,
As I put my hand upon my heart.
Had I been thinking with my head,
I'd probably have fled instead.
I love you
I love you
I love you almighty
I wish your pajamas
were next to my nightie
Ohh please be mistaken
and please be misled
I dont mean on the clothesline
I mean in the bed xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
boo wat ever do u mean :doggy::moon::devil: pics wat pics lol
