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Uncle Mulders Agony Uncle Service
never mind Freud or the church, what am I to do with the next door spinster that wants me to for some DIY apparently there are items need screwing and she wants a door fitted to let her pussy out at night.
Now dont get me wrong I would love to help the lady but I have no tools, never handled a screw driver in my life, & cats bring on my allergies.
Should I tell her the truth or just be a good neighbour and bluff my way and like all workmen just sigh & claim it is a very big job, too much for me?
Well Alan I would go bang on her door and see what happens. She may open the door in her nightie ( strange place for a door but what the heck). Take your tool I am sure you have some sort of swiss army tool tucked away which extends for use in variety of ways. Whip it out and impress her Alan. Screw whatever needs screwing and help make sure her pussy gets out regularly for some exercise. Think of the satisfaction you will get from knowing her pussy can now hop over fence at a moments notice and rub itself against you. And you can always keep a spare key to make sure her pussy only gets ot when you want it to.
Alan Give a little it would help a lot!!!!
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Dear Mr Muldern
for the day that is in it, How should I eat my egg.
Should I just knock the top off, or crack it with one hand & what about the creme, do you suck or lick it....sharing etiquette...should i share my egg or keep it to myself.
As for the next door pussy, she is well pleased with her new door, I invested in a screw driver & my neighbour says I have a knack for the screwing ... but I don't like the way she is looking at my egg ... she was eyeing up my Flake & Crunchie ... but I think I will buy her a Malteser egg ...the little balls of chocolate pleasure shud keep her busy for a while, sure they roll about everywhere....she is not getting my Flake.
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As an egg spurt on this matter I will pass this one to Mrs M.
Alan did you keep your egg in for the full 4 minutes to make sure it was fully hard. If not then smashing the top in could cause it to spray everywhere. Of course you could always get your pussy loving neighbour to lick up the mess, might keep her mind off your flake. Cracking it with one hand is not recommended unless you have a very large hand which is indicative of one an enormous cock or two too much self abuse. Personally I suck the majority of the creme and then lick up any overspill.
Yes Alan you should share "Give till it hurts".
As to an egg for your neighbour try minstrels becuse they will melt in her mouth not in her hand. If you want to try something different give her a toblerone egg, little triangles of pleasure, bet she has never had it triangular before. Of course despite the temptation do not give her a curly wurly egg as it may choke the woman.
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Quote by user=muldernTcell
Sending 2 men with 3 white coats for you virgo. Household appliances do not speak. think you are suffering from lack of sex the 2 men I am sending will remedy that and if the appliance speak re occurs will send them back for repeat visit for however long it takeshwoar::phwoar::phwoar:
Rushes to teach the toaster to talk:mrgreen:
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Deeer Muldern,
Every time I log on to Swing4Ireland my lap-top goes all funny. All sorts of twinkly lights come on the screen, The cooling fan comes on full belt, it makes funny bleepy sounds and sometimes it even vibrates. If I go into the chat rooms it jumps from room to room and the chatters scroll up and down, I have no control over what it does.
When I go into the forums it gets a mind of its own and posts the most stupidest of posts.
Well now Muldern, The thing is, I believe my lap-top is either in love with or having an affair with another computer on this site. I have looked up under the lap-top and I cant make out if is a male or female.
Please help me Muldern, Pleeeeese
Something you stick in Nicky Butt to shut him up.
No Virgo it is a plug to stop water leaking from a water butt, there is another type of butt plug but i fear you might faint if I told you what its for which actually might facilitate the fitting of said butt plug along with lots of lubricant of course.
NEXT!!!!!!
