No idea where or how to start this viewpoint, but swinging has become somewhat of a phenomenon, more noticeable during the 21st century than it was in the mid 60s, or even further back in times where it was less well advertised or talked about in general circles.
Why do people join this lifestyle?, how do they go about it?, why is it that some venture in as couples while others involve themselves as singles?
As people grow and start to develop they find they have sexual fantasies, for some it will always remain as a fantasy, but for others they have to indulge these pangs of desire and this lifestyle affords them the opportunity to do so.
There is a great diversity within the lifestyle, it's never quite as black and white, as newcomers quickly discover. Just to mention a few of these would give those interested a small view on what may be available to them, but long gone is the old 'wife swapping', 'keys in a bowl' genre that most assume is norm, such is the choice these days that the norm is no longer the norm.
Why do people enter the lifestyle? Is it they have sexual fantasies that they can not readily experience with their current partner/s? Is it they are 'missing out' on something at home? Is it just they need to feel 'wanted'? A sex drive imbalance with their current partner?
Lets have a look of some of these fantasies, that can't be experienced in the everyday normal routine, (well not unless you are a member of the adult industry and making movies or being photographed for one of the top shelf magazines that only in the last decade or so have being made readily available to the general public, either by mail order or stocked in most newsagents).
Going back over the years, the old black and white cine films, and then late in the 20th century every household found this new piece of electrical equipment that was a 'must have' for every homeowner, it was called the VHS video player, and then opened such stores where it was easy to rent out the latest movies, and enjoy them at home with family and friends, but then there is a time when family and friends are not about, and the 'under the shelf' videos came out when there was no one else around, and we were 'educated' with sex acts, that for most of us, were never even dreamt of.
Yes, now we've come on in leaps and bounds since then, the personal home camcorder, the DVD player, the digital camera, Bill Gates great vision for Windows, use of computers, social networking sites, internet forums, internet chat rooms, the webcam, never has a choice been easier to enter this lifestyle to fulfil some of these fantasies.
We've all seen these movies, the combinations that take place, One on One, lesbians, gays, MFM (male female male) FMF (female, male, female), The Orgy, role playing scenarios and many, many more.
Swinging has afforded a lot of modern adults the chance to explore their sexuality of choice, to explore their bisexual/lesbian/gay fantasies, or indulge in their heterosexual (straight) fantasies.
Women, in general, have fantasies of group sex, (an act where there is more than one partner, not that they want to have sex with a pop band, but in some cases this could also be a fantasy of theirs), and in this case the members of the group may be a combination of male and female participants.
For some women, they feel an attraction to other women, they are more than happy with their male partner, but enjoy the softness and touch that only a woman can give them, these women enjoy the lifestyle in order to explore their bisexuality.
Men have fantasies of group sex also, but from a personal viewpoint, it's a lot easier to fantasise about than it is to actually participate in, while women can be 'accommodating' with various body parts, males really only have a couple of body parts, the part which clearly defines their gender, and their mouth.
Males can also be put in their sexuality of choice, straight, gay or bisexual, but the straight male of the species will always be more homophobic about same sex gender than any straight female.
There are other diverse tastes within the community, exhibitionism, voyeurism, dogging, outdoor, BDSM, watersports, master/slave, sado/masochism, humiliation, cuckold, fetish, cfnm, all these and more, information and details can be found readily by entering any of the topics to any internet search engine.
Before any individual just jumps in to this modern lifestyle, it would be great if they would just give a lot of thought and make a decision of what exactly it is they are hoping to experience.
I have touched somewhat on some of the choices that are available, but have not touched on more recent topics such as, age, shape, size, attraction or shared chemistry between interested parties.
The age factor seems more of an issue these days for most, most of those that enjoy or join the lifestyle want to meet people where they can share common interests and with a major age difference they find when/if they meet they have nothing in common and no common ground to talk about. Yes, no doubt there are still swingers out there where you will be met at the door by scantily clad individuals and you are not there to 'talk' but to do the 'deed' and then go, but overall this genre of swinger is dying out very quickly.
I will mention shape, size, attraction and shared chemistry altogether in saying that, some use chat rooms and end up chatting with people they seem to get along great with, and they feel they would be comfortable meeting for drinks, but then the reality kicks in, the people they are meeting are not what they 'expected', there is no attraction or chemistry, they may have exchanged photos, but the photos were taken a number of years ago, and are totally outdated, this comes as a shock for most.
And then you encounter the virtual fantasists, guys pretending to be females that are trying to attract other females, they have this thing in their head that they want to know the ins and outs of lesbian sex, (something they will never experience, but in their minds they just need their 5 minute 'fix' or in some cases, they are trying to 'groom' the female to meet his 'husband/boyfriend/f*ck buddy' and then 'she' can hear all about it afterwards.
Swinging is not a money making scheme, although there are many out there that will run parties in order to make financial gain, these organisers are themselves members of the lifestyle, so in a way, they could be classed as professional swingers, their profit margins may be low, but they are not in it for the money, but to help others enjoy the lifestyle in a safe, secure, private and discrete environment.
There are professionally run adult clubs accessible in the UK and mainland Europe, these are registered businesses, all run legally, but in a country like Ireland, the general small mindedness of a fraction of the population and the church, swingers are portrayed as deviants, depraved and lacking in any moral fibre.
And then you have the public interest factor, journalists who do their 'exposés' on the swinging community or single out some of its participants for 'special edition' editorials, in my opinion these are the people who lack in any moral fibre, where financial gain is made from the misery they create for other people.
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The Modern Phenomenon
Baileys …..
A intelligent in-depth and details aspects of a subject that few have dared to voice and even less have succeeded in do so with a point off view unhindered or unintimidated and in such a manner that not just one person may understand , put in a way that we all can . A every well written and though out piece …..
Well done :thumbup: ….
Found this on the net:
Research has been conducted in the United States since the late 1960s. One study, based on an Internet questionnaire addressed to visitors of swinger-related sites, found swingers are happier in their relationships than the norm,which is not statistically valid.
60% said that swinging improved their relationship; 1.7% said swinging made their relationship less happy. Approximately 50% of those who rated their relationship "very happy" before becoming swingers maintained their relationship had become happier. 90% of those with less happy relationships said swinging improved them. Almost 70% of swingers claimed no problem with jealousy; approximately 25% admitted "I have difficulty controlling jealousy when swinging" as "somewhat true", while 6% said this was "yes, very much" true. Swingers rate themselves happier ("very happy": 59% of swingers compared to 32% of non-swingers) and their lives more "exciting" (76% of swingers compared to 54% of non-swingers) than non-swingers, by significantly large margins. There was no significant difference between responses of men and women, although more males (70%) than females completed the survey.
This study is of limited use due to self-selected sampling. Self sampling procedures create a potential for bias. For instance, swinging couples who had stronger relationships may have been more motivated to complete the questionnaire. Alternatively, because swinging may cause stress on a marriage, perhaps only those with higher than average commitment are able to remain married. Couples who have jealousy or strife issues caused by swinging might not persist in the activity and could therefore be less likely respondents. Additionally, couples that would be negatively affected by swinging may be less likely to try swinging in the first place.
ABC News reporter John Stossel produced an investigative report into the swinging lifestyle. Stossel reported that at that time, more than four million people were swingers, according to estimates by the Kinsey Institute and other researchers. He also cited Terry Gould's research, which concluded that "couples swing in order to not cheat on their partners." When Stossel asked swinging couples whether they worry their spouse will "find they like someone else better", one male replied, "People in the swinging community swing for a reason. They don't swing to go out and find a new wife;" a woman asserted, "It makes women more confident - that they are the ones in charge." Stossel interviewed 12 marriage counselors. According to Stossel, "not one of them said don't do it", though some said "getting sexual thrills outside of marriage can threaten a marriage". Nevertheless, swingers whom Stossel interviewed claimed "their marriages are stronger because they don't have affairs and they don't lie to each other."
According to economic studies on swinging, the ICT revolution, together with improvements in medicine, has been effective in reducing some of the costs of swinging and hence in increasing the number of swingers. And the economic approaches which seem best suited to capture the empirical data are those based on the concept of hedonic adaptation. These approaches suggest that it is consistent with maximizing swingers' strategy to begin from "soft" swinging and only later engage in "harder" swinging, and that also the search for ever new sexual experiences delays long-period hedonic adaptation and hence increases swingers' long-period wellbeing. Both these theoretical predictions seem to find confirmation in the empirical data on swinger behaviour.
Biggles,
in answer to your reply, think you'll find that most peeps that reply to internet questionaires are the male half in cpls (and yes I am the male half in this relationship before anyone asks), and mostly males in general, the majority of males are the ones looking for the extra 'buzz' in their lives, and males and monogomy don't always go hand in hand, hence why so many males feel aggrieved when they can't get noticed due to the amount of adverts looking for meets with females or couples, and make known their total disinterst in 'single males'.
Now they can do as much interenet research as they wish, but those in the lifestyle enjoy their anonymity and don't preach from the tree tops about their past, current or future possible 'conquests'.
Does this lifestyle make relationships stronger? In my opinion if the relationship isn't strong enough when the first steps are taken then its not going to survive.
I will agree with on the part that couples join the lifestyle because they don't feel the need to have affairs, and they can both share in the experience, but after that its pretty much down to a matter of taste, enjoyable for those that encounter the fun experiences, but a nightmare for those that are unfortunate to suffer some unwanted memories.
in answer to your reply, think you'll find that most peeps that reply to internet questionaires are the male half in cpls (and yes I am the male half in this relationship before anyone asks), and mostly males in general, the majority of males are the ones looking for the extra 'buzz' in their lives, and males and monogomy don't always go hand in hand, hence why so many males feel aggrieved when they can't get noticed due to the amount of adverts looking for meets with females or couples, and make known their total disinterst in 'single males'.
Now they can do as much interenet research as they wish, but those in the lifestyle enjoy their anonymity and don't preach from the tree tops about their past, current or future possible 'conquests'.
Does this lifestyle make relationships stronger? In my opinion if the relationship isn't strong enough when the first steps are taken then its not going to survive.
I will agree with on the part that couples join the lifestyle because they don't feel the need to have affairs, and they can both share in the experience, but after that its pretty much down to a matter of taste, enjoyable for those that encounter the fun experiences, but a nightmare for those that are unfortunate to suffer some unwanted memories.
:bounce: