Of late there has been an incredible amount of pre and post event discussion happening in chat to the point where it's taken over and it's very non inclusive for newbies or members not invited to these events or those who chose not to attend.
When I joined here first if you were attending such events discussion in open chat would see your invite withdrawn as privacy and respect for those not asked was paramount. We all had a bit of banter with those we knew were attending the same events as us and there was no shortage of nudge nudge wink wink chat and innuendos between us all but that was all part of the build up and wasn't in everyone's face.
Currently chat feels like a cliquey non inclusive place and I feel sorry for newbies and returning members trying to establish themselves. Can we all try and be mindful that not everyone attends such events and have a return to the way thing used to be and to be.
Discretion is paramount within in the lifestyle and for good reason, as none of us want to see our profiles, pictures or details on the front page of any of the newspapers as has happened in the past. The promotion and discussion of parties and meet 'n' greets should be kept to whisper and private mail to avoid this.
Join the most popular community of Irish swingers now
Login
The Meet ‘n’ Greet/ Party build up and post mortem
last reply
27 replies
3.5k views
0 watchers
0 likes
However, I will hold my hand up and say yes, I've been guilty of this previously but not to the extent as seen of late!Guilty of it too, we are sick of reading about the m&g`s that happen, its ok to post thanks to the people who arrange them but i dont see the need for more than that. We have been to one and we have felt very pushed out for not been regular at m&g`s and we have been here years so can only wonder what newbies feel.
Yes.......guilty here too at times but never as explicit to the extent that what's been going on now for at least the last 4 weeks.
Right now, I'm sad to say that chat has worn me down, it's been extremely non inclusive and quite self promoting amongst some members.
While I understand that not everyone can be invited to parties all the time, it can be a little disconcerting to others to find these events being discussed openly in chat. As Busty has rightly said, privacy is and should be paramount to all of us.
Bring back discretion and the good old days I say :thumbup:
Forum Virgin
rarely do i 1000% agree with any sort of post..but busty has hit the nail on the head there...parties should NEVER be discussed in open chat as at the very least it betrays a high level of indiscretion and at worst is dangerously stupid.
of course everyone now and again lets things slip or lets excitement get the better of yourself and says something maybe they shouldn't, that's understandable and we've all done that.
playful banter or hinting is grand as well, as that all adds to the fun of the event.
..what is different is the constant, almost concerted effort, to tell everyone a hell of a lot of details that should be kept under wraps to only those attending.
Ireland is an extremely small country and by its nature, everyone practically knows everyone,(literally, its not 6 degrees of separation in Ireland, it's closer to one) so by divulging all this information you never know who is a) listening and b) where it will all end up and most of us do not want our nearest and dearest or any media outlet to know our discreet pastimes.
I too remember a time on sites, not so long ago, that if anyone mentioned a party in a chat room the invitation was revoked and not considered for future parties as they were just considered too risky and mouthy...
this is not paranoia on my part, as i have been in close proximity to experiences in the past that demonstrated very vividly how badly this sort of idiotic, indiscreet behaviour can really come back to Ferociously bite you on the arse, especially with regard to parties..so again well said busty hun
Orgasminator
I do agree that locations, name dropping etc should never be discussed in open chat to protect privacy etc...however what ever happened free speech?..if people attending the M&G's want to chat to each other in open chat about it shouldnt it be their choice??
There does be banter and craic leading up to it so maybe a M&G chatroom may be the answer to this ... but I dont think banning all M&G chat in open room is the answer as I feel people are entitled to chat if they so wish as long as theyre not mentioning others that are attending...location etc ...just my opinion on it guys...jilly
P.S the banter and craic also promotes newbies to attend M&G's
Hi All,
I am here 3 weeks this Monday night and have signed up at a time where M&G chat is very much the topic of conversation most days!!
As a newbie it was extremely difficult to break into the chat and meet others on there but I persevered and managed to get myself along to one of these nights and had a great time....
The topic of chat about m&g's in the main room is a catch 22, newbies need to know about such things, I wasn't aware nights like this occurred from my previous experiences on other sites and when it was explained to me I was delighted I would have such an opportunity!
If a separate chat room is opened for this then it could mean a lot of new people not being aware of such nights happening, singles and couples both!
The flip side of it is of course discretion is of the highest regard here and talk of locations and name dropping may happen which can't be accepted!!
It is very difficult to break into the main chat regardless of your marital status and constant natter of m&g's and parties can make you feel excluded as I have personally on quite a few occasions.
Not really sure what the answer is here, as I say it really is catch 22....good and bad points both here....
I dont think Busty was advocating a ban on chat regarding meet and greets , i think from her post she is concerned that such chat seems to dominate the main room in particular. The pre and post chat can be quiet boring to those not attending at times as the same people keep making comments about the great night they had.
Fair play to them but its the repedative nature of this chat i find can be boring and maybe even boastful , the fact that it goes on for days and sometimes weeks before and after is'nt necessary.
Quote by bustydd
Of late there has been an incredible amount of pre and post event discussion happening in chat to the point where it's taken over and it's very non inclusive for newbies or members not invited to these events or those who chose not to attend.
When I joined here first if you were attending such events discussion in open chat would see your invite withdrawn as privacy and respect for those not asked was paramount. We all had a bit of banter with those we knew were attending the same events as us and there was no shortage of nudge nudge wink wink chat and innuendos between us all but that was all part of the build up and wasn't in everyone's face.
Currently chat feels like a cliquey non inclusive place and I feel sorry for newbies and returning members trying to establish themselves. Can we all try and be mindful that not everyone attends such events and have a return to the way thing used to be and to be.
Discretion is paramount within in the lifestyle and for good reason, as none of us want to see our profiles, pictures or details on the front page of any of the newspapers as has happened in the past. The promotion and discussion of parties and meet 'n' greets should be kept to whisper and private mail to avoid this.
So well said! I definitely feel left out when the chat is all reminiscing.
Quote by topdog
I dont think Busty was advocating a ban on chat regarding meet and greets , i think from her post she is concerned that such chat seems to dominate the main room in particular. The pre and post chat can be quiet boring to those not attending at times as the same people keep making comments about the great night they had.
Fair play to them but its the repedative nature of this chat i find can be boring and maybe even boastful , the fact that it goes on for days and sometimes weeks before and after is'nt necessary.
That's exactly what I'm saying!!!
I don't for one minute want a ban on all chat regarding meet 'n' greets or parties. I'm all for a bit of banter and craic about upcoming or previous events but it is the repetitive and non inclusive nature of these chats that I want to draw peoples attention to.
Busty.
Fair play to you.
I am all ready on record that this after meet banter and it was great to meet you blah blah stuff does my head in, which is why i tend to avoid chat for the 5 days after a big meet and greet as thats usually how long it takes for all this to blow over.
On a related topic this posting comments on someone you have met for two minutes at a meet and greet also makes me wonder. When you leave a comment for someone you are vouching / validating them and personally I wouldnt comment on someone that i had only spent a few minutes with as really i dont know them or know what they are about.
The banter is all part of it, but remember for everyone that was at the meet and greet where will be many more who where not there, and who probably dont want to have their faces rubbed in it about what they missed. The after meet gossip can also be very harmfull as we have all seen in the recent past, so all people need to have is a bit of tact and consideration for others.
If all else fails take it to whispers and you can talk about what you like in there.
Treat people like you would like them to treat you and the world will be a much happier and a more respectfull place.
Sean
Warming the Bed
Hey Guys,
This thread has been long overdue as like a lot of people who have posted before us, the tact and discretion regarding chatting about meets in the chatroom seems to have completely gone. Our approach regarding the mentioning of upcoming meets in chat has always been this. We would never mention an event directly. We have always tried to use subtlety using humorous innuendo that would seem like just normal flirting to those not attending yet the people who going would know what we were on about. This approach we feel does not make anyone feel left out and keeps a good banter and craic going in the chatroom which is what the chatroom should be all about. Having been on here and other sites a very long time we have seen the harsh consequences of the lack of indiscretion regarding meets. People need to remember the press are constantly only looking for the slightest slip up to infiltrate a meet'n'greet or party so they print a story that will grab peoples attention for 5 mins over coffee but can have very damaging consequences for the people they mention directly. We have seen peoples relationships destroyed and peoples likelihoods lost and it was all started by someone mentioning an event to someone with no malicious intentions. When we were mods the rule was that events were for the forums and email and should be kept there. If an event was coming up and those attending wanted to chat about it, a private room (password ed) was opened using an obscure title and the password was pm'd to those who were attending and invited to join the room. We feel this was the way to go as it kept the chat about the event secure, alienated nobody and the main chatroom was free for others to enjoy.
As regards post meet chat. It will always happen but the way it has been drawn out on here for sometimes up to a week is not right. People on the site would recognize that after a gr8 meet folks can be on a high and want to enjoy that elation but surely this should only be visible for a day or two in chat and after that keep it private.
By posting on this we are not having a dig at ANYONE directly and anyone who feels we are should contact us. It is just out opinion.
S & D.
Quote by randypeeps
Hey Guys,
This thread has been long overdue as like a lot of people who have posted before us, the tact and discretion regarding chatting about meets in the chatroom seems to have completely gone. Our approach regarding the mentioning of upcoming meets in chat has always been this. We would never mention an event directly. We have always tried to use subtlety using humorous innuendo that would seem like just normal flirting to those not attending yet the people who going would know what we were on about. This approach we feel does not make anyone feel left out and keeps a good banter and craic going in the chatroom which is what the chatroom should be all about. Having been on here and other sites a very long time we have seen the harsh consequences of the lack of indiscretion regarding meets. People need to remember the press are constantly only looking for the slightest slip up to infiltrate a meet'n'greet or party so they print a story that will grab peoples attention for 5 mins over coffee but can have very damaging consequences for the people they mention directly. We have seen peoples relationships destroyed and peoples likelihoods lost and it was all started by someone mentioning an event to someone with no malicious intentions. When we were mods the rule was that events were for the forums and email and should be kept there. If an event was coming up and those attending wanted to chat about it, a private room (password ed) was opened using an obscure title and the password was pm'd to those who were attending and invited to join the room. We feel this was the way to go as it kept the chat about the event secure, alienated nobody and the main chatroom was free for others to enjoy.
As regards post meet chat. It will always happen but the way it has been drawn out on here for sometimes up to a week is not right. People on the site would recognize that after a gr8 meet folks can be on a high and want to enjoy that elation but surely this should only be visible for a day or two in chat and after that keep it private.
By posting on this we are not having a dig at ANYONE directly and anyone who feels we are should contact us. It is just out opinion.
S & D.
I agree 100% re the discretion esp for the pre m/g party chat...
Well said, randys!
Also, to be honest, it is hard even as an established member to get a word in edgeways at the best of times when people who are great friends are having a convo in the mains chat...I'm guilty of that sometimes, too, and I will consider that in the future!
If I can be honest (Which usually I am entirely) I do have to say that lately the chat thing doesnt really do it for me and some others that have mentioned the same to me. Some have even decided to leave the site due to the chatroom or lack of realness to it.
I used to love it but after being away for a while and coming back I see chat as being just a vehicle for all the BFF's to keep patting each other on the back and telling each other how brilliant they are etc etc. I mean come on, do people really need all that brown nosing done to them?
Kinda sucks to be honest. You get a kind of "X out X out!!!" feeling pretty quickly after entering the chatroom. Well I do anyways
I know this is going off the main subject (Which I totally agree with btw) but all the non required appraisals & back slapping is coming across as quite fake & shallow.
Mr Loaf has hit the nail on the head, far to much back slapping, who hawing, from the same people to the same people and vice versa.. is very cringe to say the least that some people need this praise all of the time, and now i tend to avoid the chat rooms for these reasons. I am also beginning to think there is some type of inherent rank structure in chat?? or maybe i'm just becoming to cyncial in my old age 
I think it is not within our remit to set the topics of conversation in the chat room , and that people have the opportunity to chat how they see fit without disclosing locations and times of get togethers , one thing I have always found is this .... a lot can be learned from simply observing the chat and avoiding like the plague those who are unwilling or unable to keep their mouths shut .
Can only agree with you ....bustyDD. it felt recently, like the room was full of people very happy with themselves, home from kerry. Grand in itself!....but one was not inclined to but-in.
However it`s great that there is an active m+g etc,
and i have some tentative contacts otherwise, so all is well.
Weve read the post and the responce it has got ,we have waited to see the outcome, we then disgussed this with other members from the site so from this ww will we put our piece forward,,,,,,,
Firstly we do understand it can be hard for newbies to join in when the chat is focused on M&G,s or private parties but we were once newbies here and we perservered and made our way to a M&G it was only then did we join in with the banter and build up to our next M&G and when we entered the chat room we were able to say hi and chat to people that had been at our first M&G and we didnt feel so much like newbies anymore .
Now we also appreciate some people on here dont want to attend or listen about such meetings and each to their own we say but to ban chat about M&G,s or private parties is like shooting one self in the foot , after all the build up and the aftermath of said meets are part of the buzz for us and other members {as we said we have spoken to other members and they agree}.
What we see happening and indeed has already started is most who attend these meets are going into whispers now to chat about it so as a result you will get a full room of people but very little activity in open chat , so now we ask is this any easier for the newbies or people who dont wish to attend such meetings? ,,,,,,,, we dont think so as this leaves them in chat with feck all buzz and no chatting going on , how do they join in then ????
So as a compremise we would suggest setting up another room as Midnight mentioned, no need for a password as it can be a matter of choice to enter such room , that way all can get from this site what they want !!
All that said we do believe never should it be said where the location of said meets are being held in open chat!!
We would like to bring to your attention that forums can be read by none members , so if someone i.e. the papers want to know anything all they need do is read the forums.
The Flashbacks
Good point Flashbacks, I also remember my first meet n greet and the banter in chat thereafter. With that said it didn't continue for days or on into a week over powering chat the way it has evolved in recent times. I would disagree that chat has died a buzz in fact, members have stated that the chat atmosphere is alot better, to each their own I suppose.
In relation to the forums being accessible by non-members this is true. However, there are no specific details of meets/parties as in exact locations or venues are viewable on the forums. Therefore, whilst the media may know it's happening in Dublin, Cork etc; they do not know the exact venue or address as those details are not permitted on the forums or anywhere on the site!
It's difficult to find a happy medium, but yes, perhaps choosing to open another room is something that should be considered and any member who can access chat can in fact open their own room. Hopefully this will work out for the better and keep the buzz and banter about the site 
:drinkies:
:drinkies: Sex God
shit buzz in the chatrooms here lately alrite
