A few of us were talking in the chat-room how there is no fun in the forums anymore, so here I am trying to revive it.
As the introduction to Disney films used to say: 'Tall tales and true from the legendary past.
Anyone with a tale to tell, funny, embarrassing, sad, mad, sobby, dogs and cats finding their way home stories, do tell them here.
I will tell my tale, perhaps a bit unsavory but its true.
A few years ago I was travelling down the M8, when I became completely overcome by the need to do a no.2, possibly brought about by overindulgence of drink and Chineese take away the night before. Now as you all know service areas on Irish motorways are few and far between, so I was forced to look for a secluded spot to relieve myself. At this stage I was lucky to be driving an automatic because if I had to loosen my legs to work the clutch, there would have been catastrophic consequences.
Now I noticed a few bushes way up on the embankment and thought there would be no better place to go, so I stuck on the brakes, jumped out of the car and made a bolt up the bank.
I squatted down behind a bush and proceeded to do my business, oh what a relief. It was then I noticed that the passing motorists had full view of my butt under the bush. I carefully edged backwards, still on my hunkers, out of sight, when due to the slope of the bank and the restriction of my trousers below my knees I tumbled backwards, like a rolled up hedgehog down the embankment ending up on the hard shoulder.
Now the memory I have most of that day isn't the embarrassment of trying to get my trousers and underpants up from my ankles on the side of the M8, but all the nettles, furze bushes and briars I had rolled bare-assed through on my way down the embankment.. ouch.
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I bet you didn't even wipe your bum: