To be honest I after being in the main chatroom for the last few nights, I can understand how single guys feel..
Last night a guy made a small slip of rules and he was devoured by a female member, who is not by the way a moderator.
He was not being offensive and none of the moderators in the room took him to task..
New members especially single males, are advised to get into chat and mingle, yet they are mostly ignored by others.. it's time we all rememberd swinging and swing4 is a damn community not an elitist group of self important women and men!
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Single guys and newbies.
Well said Offally. Some Guys are their own worst enemies I know and annoy the arse out of lots of people. But hey so can some of the women. When it comes to it people are people and eiter morons or decent regardless of their sex. Problem with lots of the people in swing is that they are far too forgiving of the women and far too hard on the guys. Bit of balance be nice.
Sex God
** Packs extra strength non discriminatory boots and heads for the chat room**
I think yer spot On Offally, I like to think I am fairly Just But The Mods can be up the walls at times when a situation arises in a chat room, that is by no means defending what happened, as I was not there I cant comment but I like to think we as Mods treat all members with equal justice.
No Harm at all in you bringing up this thread.
Orgasminator
:Pdont belive in such a thing as a goody in law enforcement all cops are b*****ds,serious though its only a few single blokes that mess things up for the others ,tho we dont meet single males we will chat to anyone with manners , and the mods on here do a great job :welcome:
:thumbup:i think offallycouple has a good point , i know the chatrooms can be intimidating for newbies and single guys who observe that apparently we all know each other...however , i think that new users of the site need to be handled gently with regards the etiquette in the chatrooms ... ffs, we were all newbies once, im sure i broke every rule here myself in the first week in pursuit of the elusive shag....lol:notes:
Offaly, I'm glad you brought this up because it's something that's been bothering me for a long time. I feel, ladies, that you're often truly awful to guys who approach you politely, but make the mistake of whispering without permission. To humiliate someone who whispers: "Hi there, I just read your profile and you sound like a lovely lady" by posting the whisper in open chat... I don't know, I think that's just nasty. With the same effort, you could have whispered back: "Thanks, but whispers without permission are against the chat room rules." If the offender then persists it's a different matter.
I've been embarrassed on behalf of the female population when someone who's been outed as a whisperer apologises for whispering, and his apology gets pasted in open chat. Yes, strictly going by the rules he shouldn't have whispered his apology, but for fuck's sake, don't you think you can be a little more graceful and forgiving? You're not perfect yourself, you know.
Yes, whispers can sometimes be overwhelming, but I've found that a gentle return whisper declining a private conversation works in 99% of cases. Single guys are often treated like dirt here, and I get angry when that happens because most of the men on here are pleasant people who don't deserve your rudeness.
Boo.
Sex God
myself personally i think am very tolerant of whispers, im of the opinion a whisper never killed anyone , but i will paste the , " ur a fucking cow" ones.I also chat to single males, a lot actually,:grin: have even been known, ,,,,, wait for it, to meet one or two 
,
but i will tell u what freaks me out, its a single male chasing u and chasing u for ages in chat, and then you say , ok lets meet and suddenly his dog has died, his cat has got run over, his leg has fallen off, hes got scarlet fever or maybe all of the above at the same time and he cant meet :fuckinghell:
,
but i will tell u what freaks me out, its a single male chasing u and chasing u for ages in chat, and then you say , ok lets meet and suddenly his dog has died, his cat has got run over, his leg has fallen off, hes got scarlet fever or maybe all of the above at the same time and he cant meet :fuckinghell: Good post Offally. I actually hate when people do that copy and past thing..sometimes can be nasty and I really cant see why people just dont ingnore the whispers or ask a mod to intervene and stop them if really out of order. I know where Slightly is coming from though as a single on the site the amount of unsolicited whispers is laughable but I will answer the ones generally of people I know and have met before. But if room is not busy I will answer as many as possible. Manners cost nothing peeps - its nice to be nice guys.
"Can't we all just get along?"
Warming the Bed
Boo, i'm 100% with you on this one re. whispers. I've said this a thousand times before til i've gone blue in the face. What difference does a guy saying "Hi, how are you" make, than if he said it in the main room, it still takes up the same space on your screen. Just glance over it, ignore, reply or whatever and swiftly move on. If it gets offensive, then fair enough copy and paste or have a mod intervene, but getting someone kicked for simply saying your gorgeous or sexy or a simple hello is beyond ridiculous, and i think mods can play a part in making other chatters realise this and i think it will also make their jobs a bit easier.
MrH..
With regarding the whispers although I hate bloody whispers that just say hi , I will normally say hi back in main chat and ask person to chat in main , however whispers such as fancy a f**k drive me but I normally just ignore them unless its something more crude or abusive ,as barb said manners cost nothing but this has to work both ways and unfortunalely an innocent hi in a whisper might be the final straw for a female whos after being annoyed by endless whispers all day
God me posting a second post how awful!
Ladies thanks for all the comments. As someone who has more than once sent a whisper comprising of hi how are you I appreciate your understanding.
I know the rules say ask before you whisper but jaysus you need a hard neck and brass balls to say to someone in open chat can i whisper ad then be told no thanks. Much nicer I think to whisper once and if someone dosent come back take that as a no thanks and move on.
There are a minority of "women" in chat for whom outing single guys who politely whisper is a bloodsport, but they belong in the same holding pen as the RUHORNY whispering single guys. In fact, me wonders if you checked the undercarriage of some of these "ladies" what you would find !!!
Offally your right, its wicked hard for newbies coming into chat to try and get to know ppl, the chat rooms can be very intimidating. I do try to say hi to whoever greets the room but its not always possible when its very busy. Avalon is right, we all made mistakes when we first joined, and I'm sure if it wasnt for the kindness of the thoughtful ones who welcomed us in we would have gone as quick, and its very easy forget what its like to be a newbie, cutting a little slack and showing tolerance goes along way in making it an enjoyable experience for everyone.
And yea have said it before on another thread, and agree here, its not a train smash if you get whispered, I get them all the time and reply when I see them, and just ignore the rude ones unless they dont leave me alone, however when I get bogged down by too many I will refuse even if asked in open for a whisper as I can't follow the chat when it happens, but I explain that there is too many and unless its site related I can't follow any more.
So nuff said from me, cept be nice to the newbies when ya can, never know,he or she could be one of the best lays you have yet to have :evil2:
Jesus i neer realised just how hated i am in chat....:giggle:
But seriously, i dont copy and paste the "hi, how are u" whispers - i just normally answer back saying im great but do u want to come into main chat to talk.
I can honestly say - and a lot of guys and girls can back me up on this - im one of the first people in chat to talk to newbies - my motto is - if someone says hi in chat - it not being aimed at anyone in particular - i always say hi back.
But if i get persistant whispers - or those of a nasty nature - i will bring the culprit down a peg or two......
If that makes me a target of peoples hatred so be it
If that makes me a target of peoples hatred so be it 
Sexlightened
Ah, the dreaded whisper, the death knell for so many.....
I've never sent a whisper without permission. Although considering the countless amounts of times I have said "hi" to someone in the chat rooms & been ignored I have considered sending a whisper thinking "they probably didn't see me say hi cos there are so many in here"... or maybe they are ignoring me on purpose :-?. I do however refrain from doing so.
There have been many occasions that I have recieved whispers, usually from "straight" guys (why would straight gys be interested in a room with bi in the title????) or from the male half of a couple & usually whispers are mostly along the lines of "what are you into?" "where are you from?" "are you free now?" The answers to the first 2 are available in my profile! I generally reply in open chat & they usually leave the room. Some will reply & we sometimes do end up having a private chat. I don't do it to be cruel but if a person isn't prepared to chat in the open room what are they trying to hide????
I don't expect to see their life story up on screen & I know discretion is important to a lot of folks, myself included but that's what the chat room is there for, to make a connection & then maybe get to know a bot more in private.
I do agree with Boo that pasting whispers in the open chat is a bit cruel & is something I would not do, unless the whispers were persistent & abusive. There is always the option of reporting such whispers to the mods or admin. Not a "fix it now" solution I know but better that none at all.
There was a time when I answered every whipser - regardless of tone - but nowadays I do the same as Live4life - redirect the polite ones to the main room and handle the rude/nasty ones according to their nature.
There are some very UN-New members who persistently intentionally whipser, despite repeated requests to desist - I have a collected list of offenders and it will be forwarded to Admin on a weekly basis in future. These TWONKs obviously have no intention of being a rule-abiding member of the community here and as such have lost any respect I may have considered worthwhile. Bring on the day when we can click a button and prevent whipsers!!!
I also follow the saying "Hiya there" routine if someone addresses the room in general - can't always catch them all when the room is busy though.
percent of the chatters here are lovely folks, and they are great craic. It's a sad fact of life that some members of the species think they above the rest of us and can do as they please anywhere they go.
I remember being a Newbie to chatrooms very well, even 6 years down the line. I spent nearly 3 months merely lurking, watching the flow of chat, how other people behaved and learning the ettiquette before I plucked up courage enough to actually start chatting myself. Perhaps I was trained differently by my parents that the only way to learn is to shut up and listen first.
There are plenty of pointers around the site, in the forums here and the guides/tips giving Newbies information about decorum on the site .
There's other faux pas made by Newbies, and it's nicer to bring the issue to the attention with a wee joke. The most regular one is the CAPS LOCK one -
:haha:
There are some very UN-New members who persistently intentionally whipser, despite repeated requests to desist - I have a collected list of offenders and it will be forwarded to Admin on a weekly basis in future. These TWONKs obviously have no intention of being a rule-abiding member of the community here and as such have lost any respect I may have considered worthwhile. Bring on the day when we can click a button and prevent whipsers!!!
I also follow the saying "Hiya there" routine if someone addresses the room in general - can't always catch them all when the room is busy though.
percent of the chatters here are lovely folks, and they are great craic. It's a sad fact of life that some members of the species think they above the rest of us and can do as they please anywhere they go.
I remember being a Newbie to chatrooms very well, even 6 years down the line. I spent nearly 3 months merely lurking, watching the flow of chat, how other people behaved and learning the ettiquette before I plucked up courage enough to actually start chatting myself. Perhaps I was trained differently by my parents that the only way to learn is to shut up and listen first.
There are plenty of pointers around the site, in the forums here and the guides/tips giving Newbies information about decorum on the site .
There's other faux pas made by Newbies, and it's nicer to bring the issue to the attention with a wee joke. The most regular one is the CAPS LOCK one -
:haha:
tippbi :clap: :cheers:
and live4 i must say you are friendly and open to people who chat in main room, and definitely not hated 
:2fingers:
however i do think that single males get a hard time and some of the stuff that single females say would be seen as abuse by a male and result in them being kicked,, (thats me speaking from experiance)
however alot of newbies along with single males are their own worst enemy,, when someone addresses the room i will say hi back however, i find straight males and couples ignore single males in the room as they dont "meet" single males, just because i say hi doesnt mean i want to fuck you,, i chat with many people on this site and i have no intention of "meeting" alot of them and im sure the feeling is mutual but being friendly and having a bit of craic is the only way you will get to meet anyone from this site so from that point of view these single males might find they get more attention and integrate better if they chat with the whole room and not just direct their chat at females and ignore the other males who say hi,, likelyhood is i wouldnt do ya anyway :giggle:
oh and lastly mods :clap: :happy: ye great really :therethere:
loaded
:2fingers:
however i do think that single males get a hard time and some of the stuff that single females say would be seen as abuse by a male and result in them being kicked,, (thats me speaking from experiance)
however alot of newbies along with single males are their own worst enemy,, when someone addresses the room i will say hi back however, i find straight males and couples ignore single males in the room as they dont "meet" single males, just because i say hi doesnt mean i want to fuck you,, i chat with many people on this site and i have no intention of "meeting" alot of them and im sure the feeling is mutual but being friendly and having a bit of craic is the only way you will get to meet anyone from this site so from that point of view these single males might find they get more attention and integrate better if they chat with the whole room and not just direct their chat at females and ignore the other males who say hi,, likelyhood is i wouldnt do ya anyway :giggle:
oh and lastly mods :clap: :happy: ye great really :therethere:
loaded Sex God
Loaded you made a great Point there mate, One of My bugbears is when people come into chat and you say hi being friendly and its mistaken for ' Hi there I would Like to Fuck you if you happen to reply' I find this very Rude, I know a lot arent here to make friends etc, But common decency is something that costs nothing. I always say Hi when someone says hi In chat and if they care to continue from there it's all good.
thank you titan,,, good to know someone sees sense as i do :bounce: it costs nothing to be friendly,, the chat rooms are a place to interact and have fun, if something comes of it then so be it but to many people enter the chat room directing their chat at one or two people and in my opinion they are only limiting themselves,,,,
thats my pennies worth anyway
loaded
