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Room With a View
I get a thrill seeing my neighbors in the buff. Am I cheating on my wife?
Dear Prudence,
I'm a happily married man in my 20s with a gorgeous wife, whom I adore. We live in a big city in an apartment building. In order to let in light, we keep the curtains open in our bedroom (sans naughty time). I've recently noticed that the female who lives in the apartment directly across from ours and the female in the apartment one floor below also leave their curtains open as they walk around half-naked. I'm not sidling up to the window for hours upon end, but on occasion I catch a glimpse of skin, and I'll admit that I don't turn away. I don't know whether my wife has noticed the neighbors, but I haven't told her that I have. I feel as if I'm hiding a secret from her and even committing a form of adultery by not walking away when I see them. Should I tell my wife so we can make a decision about what to do together (and hope she doesn't divorce me)? Or should I unilaterally reach out to the neighbors, telling them that my whole building has probably been getting a show for several months and they should be more aware of their actions?
—In the Window
Dear In the Window,
Virtually any heterosexual man finding himself in your situation would conclude he's got a Donald Trump-like gift for picking real estate. Since we're making comparisons with The Donald, who is also an expert on adultery, let's narrow the definition of it to actually having sexual contact with a woman other than your wife. As for your plans of attack, let's take the second option first. If you secretly make the rounds of the Victoria's Secret models across the way and explain to them the distress their dishabille causes you, that will surely be the day your wife does glance out the bedroom window at the neighborhood lovelies and wonders what in the world you're up to. So forget the friendly lecture. But since your voyeuristic impulse and subsequent guilt are bothering you, go ahead and mention the peep show to your wife. She may surprise you and suggest the two of you discreetly catch a Saturday matinee. If, however, she (ridiculously) gets all huffy that you didn't run in horror when you realized the neighbors were scantily clad, you should point out that while you two draw the curtain for your own "naughty time," that leaves a lot of your own half-dressed lives on display. It's possible your entire neighborhood is engaged in an endless round-robin of Rear Window. You could suggest that you get some sheer bedroom curtains so you continue to get light but don't put yourselves on view. And if it happens that when you're alone in the bedroom, the sheers somehow get nudged open a crack, and you see that next door the show goes on, consider it a freebie.
