Go on..Whats your all time favourite Christmas song..
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Favourite Christmas Song??
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Sex God
The last one the radio stations play in january:borg: Bah humbug, over commercialized tripe. my cghristmas spirit died when they started putting christmas decorations up in November.
Quote by user=makemyday0126
The last one the radio stations play in january:borg: Bah humbug, over commercialized tripe. my cghristmas spirit died when they started putting christmas decorations up in November.
Bah Humbug..indeed Make, your a miserable Christmas Grinch, and to think I was going to let you be the baby jesus in my live Nativity Play..no way !!
Yeah for the Fairy Tale of New York
christmas decorations are up since October, :
What happened when Gobnait O'Lunacy sent the 12 gifts to Noela!!
To the tune of 'Twelve days of Christmas'.
Christmas Countdown: Frank Kelly
Day One
Dear Nuala,
Thank you very much for your lovely present of a partridge in a pear-tree. We're getting the hang of feeding the partridge now, although it was difficult at first to win its confidence. It bit the mother rather badly on the hand but they're good friends now and we're keeping the pear-tree indoors in a bucket. Thank you again.
Yours affectionately,
Gobnait O'Lúnasa (pronounced Govnet O'Lunacy)
Day Two
Dear Nuala,
I cannot tell you how surprised we were to hear from you so soon again and to receive your lovely present of two turtle doves. You really are too kind. At first the partridge was very jealous and suspicious of the doves and they had a terrible row the night the doves arrived. We had to send for the vet but the birds are okay again and the stitches are due to come out in a week or two. The vet's bill was £8 but the mother is over her annoyance now and the doves and the partridge are watching the telly from the pear-tree as I write.
Yours ever,
Gobnait
Day Three
Dear Nuala,
We must be foremost in your thoughts! I had only posted my letter when the three French hens arrived. There was another sort-out between the hens and the doves, who sided with the partridge, and the vet had to be sent for again. The mother was raging because the bill was £16 this time but she has almost cooled down. However, the fact that the birds' droppings keep falling down on her hair while she's watching the telly, doesn't help matters. Thanking you for your kindness.
I remain,
Your Gobnait
Day Four
Dear Nuala,
You mustn't have received my last letter when you were sending us the four calling birds. There was pandemonium in the pear-tree again last night and the vet's bill was £32. The mother is on sedation as I write. I know you meant no harm and remain your close friend.
Gobnauit
Day Five
Nuala,
Your generosity knows no bounds. Five gold rings ! When the parcel arrived I was scared stiff that it might be more birds, because the smell in the living-room is atrocious. However, I don't want to seem ungrateful for the beautiful rings.
Your affectionate friend,
Gobnait
Day Six
Nuala,
What are you trying to do to us ? It isn't that we don't appreciate your generosity but the six geese have not alone nearly murdered the calling birds but they laid their eggs on top of the vet's head from the pear-tree and his bill was £68 in cash ! My mother is munching 60 grains of Valium a day and talking to herself in a most alarming way. You must keep your feelings for me in check.
Gobnait
Day Seven
Nuala,
We are not amused by your little joke. Seven swans-a-swimming is a most romantic idea but not in the bath of a private house. We cannot use the bathroom now because they've gone completely savage and rush the door every time we try to enter. If things go on this way, the mother and I will smell as bad as the living-room carpet. Please lay off! It is not fair.
Gobnait
Day Eight
Nuala,
Who the hell do you think gave you the right to send eight hefty maids-a-milking here, to eat us out of house and home? Their cattle are all over the front lawn and have trampled the hell out of the mother's rose-beds. The swans invaded the living-room in a sneak attack and the ensuing battle between them and the calling birds, turtle doves, French hens and partridge make the Battle of the Somme seem like Wanderly Wagon. The mother is on a bottle of whisky a day, as well as the sixty grains of Valium. I'm very annoyed with you.
Gobnait
Day Nine
Listen you louser !
There's enough pandemonium in this place night and day without nine drummers drumming, while the eight flaming maids-a-milking are beating me poor, old alcoholic mother out of her own kitchen and gobbling everything in sight. I'm warning you, you're making an enemy of me.
Gobnait
Day Ten
Listen manure-face,
I hope you'll be haunted by the strains of ten pipers piping which you sent to torment us last night. They were aided in their evil work by those maniac drummers and it wasn't a pleasant sight to look out the window and see eight hefty maids-a-milking pogo-ing around to the ensuing punk-rock uproar. My mother has just finished her third bottle of whisky, on top of a hundred and twenty four grains of Valium. You'll get yours !
Gobnait O'Lúnasa
Day Eleven
You have scandalised my mother, you dirty Jezebel!
It was bad enough to have eight maids-a-milking dancing to punk music on the front lawn but they've now been joined by your friends, the eleven Lords-a-leaping, and the antics of the whole lot of them would make the most decadent days of the Roman Empire looking like "Outlook". I'll get you yet, you 'ould bag !
Day Twelve
Listen slurry head,
You have ruined our lives. The twelve maidens dancing turned up last night and beat the living daylights out of the eight maids-a-milking, 'cos they found them carrying on with the eleven Lords-a-leaping. Meanwhile, the swans got out of the living-room, where they'd been hiding since the big battle, and savaged hell out of the Lords and all the Maids. There were eight ambulances here last night, and the local Civil Defence as well. The mother is in a home for the bewildered and I'm sitting here, up to my neck in birds' droppings, empty whisky and Valium bottles, birds' blood and feathers, while the flaming cows eat the leaves off the pear-tree. I'm a broken man!
Gobnait O'Lúnasa
Laughed till my ribs hurt when I first heard this.
LMAO
thanks for the words of Christmas Countdown it has me in giggles every year and always brightens my day.
Favourite Christmas Songs so many to choose from but Fairytale of New York is amongst them, In the Bleak Mid Winter, and anything that will lift the gloom of a miserable soggy day and make me smile it makes the world a better place
Master of Sex
I remember back in around 1980 kenny everret used to do a new years eve show on uk telly. one year they had a band called The Greedy Bastards, which was basically Thin Lizzy plus Gary Moore, doing "we wish you a merry xmas"...now THAT'S what I call xmas music :grin
Andy
Master of Sex
Not a song, but xmas related.....in Catalonia every nativity scene has a man squating and defecating somewhere, usually by the head of the crib. It's usually a famous figure - a footballer, politician, film star - and it is an integral part of the scene for catalans, who are a very scatalogical folk - their name for an xmas log literally translates to "shit log". We found this out from watching QI....we lived in catalonia for a year and missed the shitting man and shit logs completely for some bizarre reason lol.
Andy
Master of Sex
there's a reason xmas only comes once a year.....if we had to listen to those godawful fake xmas sentiments all year round the streets would be full of bodies. Grinch me no griches addies, or the rest of u sad sacks (no, not santas sacks lol), i didn't even like it when i was a nipper, never mind now. the only 2 reasons xmas is tolerated in our house are 1) small child 2) jax looks good in an elf suit lol.
andy
Master of Sex
Actually i'd like to vote for myself as official s4i grinch....i got hairy ears, shout a lot, and have been known to turng reen at the first sniff of egg-nog. I'll be borrowin tusseys shotgun and sittin in the tree next to our house waitin for the fat, red-suited fucker and his bunch of smelly reindeer....mmmm, reindeer steak for xmas day brekkie....yummy!!!
andy
Quote by user=losmags
Actually i'd like to vote for myself as official s4i grinch....i got hairy ears, shout a lot, and have been known to turng reen at the first sniff of egg-nog. I'll be borrowin tusseys shotgun and sittin in the tree next to our house waitin for the fat, red-suited fucker and his bunch of smelly reindeer....mmmm, reindeer steak for xmas day brekkie....yummy!!!
andy
You can't shoot santa ffs!!!!
It ain't feckin CSI Miami, you know!!!!
Orgasminator
:Ptis a bah humbug house here ,an other festival stolen off us by the bloody christians thank fkuc kids today question fairy tales ,chrismas should be banned due to a lack off interest :smoke:
