it was Thatguy & his date for the weekend...
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Creative Writing
Well I'll be blowed.
During nite Mr mulder makes sortie from tree. kidnaps lady for his own nefarious purposes. returns her the following morning dishevelled but smiling. Leaves note outside allyandbabas tent "Please dont feed me your nuts anymore they taste funny!!!!" Oh and will whoever is comforting Mrs M in my absence please gag her or put something in her mouth her moaning is keeping me awake. Meanwhile back in the tent Alan was erecting his centre pole.
Sex God
but unknown to the campers, they were being watched......from above by a ufo full of extra terrestrials who were on a fact finding mission , and who had their long shiny probes charged up in anticipation
Mulder descends from the tress and whips out his sonic driver. Stand back This thing is bigger than it looks ( a bit like the Tardis) and it even has its own helmet. Now where are those pesky aliens and why oh why are there never any attractive female aliens??????? The craft descended and came to rest beside the tents of erstwhile swingers. A door slowly opened and a voice could be heard from the inside " nice to see you, to see you nice". Obviously they had learned our language listening to dodgy game shows.
With that the clyde emerges from the bonny love caravan scratchin his head and rubbin his balls (not alans) and lickin his ass, all at the same time (work that 1 out lads lol) ges lads what happened i was dreamin that i was taken to a space ship i feel as tho i have been pulled prodded and poked my butt is sore. fook where is me bonns lads have ya seen her. the lads that, muldern, and balls (alan this time)are rollin round the ground laughin at poor clyde holdin his butt and tryin to sort himself out. alan says to thatguy ya know what i think clyde,s been????????
Meanwhile on a planet far far away a woman writhed in ecstacy on a bed. She was one of the concubines of the evil lord Alan of the Balls. However he was out for the night not out but out (mickey finned)and she was being attended to one of his most thrusted Knights Sir Mulder of Tcell a man whose trusty sword was known throughtout the kingdom and he wasnt bad with a blade either. She moaned for the umteenth time Could you please take off your Armour the next time your scabbard is sticking in me. He said thats not my scabbard mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm she sighed you know Once a Knight is never enough. He had came and went before Lord Alan regained his senses.
Lord Alan's 6th sense had alerted him to the treasonous behaviour ... of course he was not really worried as "Once a Knight" Muldern was well know for not staying the distance ... but Lord Alan was happy yo let "Once" build up his stamina on one-eyed bow legged witch from Uranus ... there was a battle ahead forces were massing ... The amazonian women were on the booty path ... it was one for all & all for one time...their backs would be to the wall but they would stand like hard-men and fight the good fight........
Once a knight all night Mulder decided that his skills would be best served protecting the concubines and the large harem of sex starved women Lord Alan kept locked up in the Tower. Lord knows why they were sex starved because Lord Alan was up there every night and the wailing that went on would put a banshee to was he doing up there "Knitting". Mulder entered the Harem and one of the ladies sidled up to him. mmmmmmmmmmmm a man at last would you like to lie over here She indicated a group of semi naked beauties. Mulder winced " Note to self remember to remove the chain mail cod piece before entering a harem chamber". Mulder said " Hang on while I whip this out" There was a gasp as he removed his sword and laid it against the wall. He looked around at their faces and said "What"???? Soon he was surrounded by the women all telling him how they were kidnapped by Lord Alan and forced to service his depraved sexual appetites. Their bodies were pressed against him and soon they were removing his armour. He was carried to the huge bed and soon he was covered in naked female flesh, unable to see where one gorgeous woman began and the other ended he surrendered to their wants and needs. If Lord Alan could see him now there would be hell to pay but he was busy with the Amazons and their Booties.
