She realised at that point, it was not infact the Firemans house that was caught around her leg, it was Dora's knicker elastic
The Cock flew,,, pussy fell and Milkman announced......
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Creative Writing
Master of Sex
the cream went flying the cat went flying as she fell to the floor but just before she hit the floor a pair of big strong hands grabbed her looking up with her face all red from embarrising fall she realised it was the gardiner form the lift hhe smiled and said to her !!!!
She panicked,,,, No KY,,, then remembered, she had some Jelly in the cupboard! Pondered then,, yes thats it! If she mixed with the Cream,,, and some TCP it would make a great coolant for the Gardner's Plums, she scuttled off to the kitchen, she stood whipping up a concotion, thoughts went through her head, The Milkman was pregnant! calmly she thought well it's not mine. But who was he being surrogate for? Fr D'Arsee and the Bishop? Heaven no.
The Vet and the receptionist, the Cat and the Rabbit, or afterall was it just a dream? she pinched her left cheek. Am I dreaming, am I?
Sounds of arh arh beckoned,,, was the Gardner in Labour,,, she remembered,,, Miss Shaggs too the rescue( sorry Shaggs)! she dialed 999 but got Sainsburys clubcard line,,, in pure frustration she texted shaggs,,,, " Can you help" she screamed,,,, think the Gardner is having a litter, Shaggs texts back... "Sure use! know me, anything to help" Shaggs dials the Tipp Fire Service,,, next the sound of Nenagh, Nenagh, out of the blue they arrive, the Coastal service......
Rubber gloves...not your ordinary everyday marigold gloves, they were for the dishes .... no her job in airport security had certain perks ... not that she really took any pleasure in the body search ... but every now and then it was fun to stop a big black (suspected) drug mule or a blonde aussie beach bums and ask him to accompany her to the investigation room .... yes.....
yes.....yes.....oooohhhh yes! She shuddered apruptly as her erotic train of thought was disturbed by the groaning and grunting of the gardener. Back to the job in hand, she thought, better clean that trowel she thought as she glanced at the gardeners big throbbing tool belt. That might come in handy for
The belt helped, All three arrived safely, although the hot water dimished as number three arrived, Milkman struggled to sit up... in pain, jeez childbirth is tough! He looked down.... OMG he had delivered or so he thought,,,, He felt a thud,,,, saw stars and heard "Nenagh" , he opened his eyes,,, the thud came from his Mother, " Where you on the beer? you fooking snored all night! exactly how much did you drink last night? "get up. It's Sunday and you need Mass and your the chief reader today" He struggled out of bed, showered and proceeded to go to Mass.
Fr D'Arsee welcomed him to the pulprit too read the lessons,, he began, after a few moments, he looked up from the script, the congregation all sat mouths dropped,,,, what had he read out......
re reading his CV ... he realized it needed somework ... chicken plucker & sheep worryier ...not much call for that in the recession...now what did he really want to be...tried being a cowboy & got run out of town, but he did like the leather chaps n d gun felt nice ... fireman could be good, but he didn't have the hose for it ... d rubber glove job...now that sounded interesting ... he was good with his hands...liked feeling thinks....painist fingers she said he had...what was that tune she liked.... "My Dingaling"...yes that was it "Play with my Dingaling" it was coming back to hime now.....
Master of Sex
And while he was comforting her there arms entwined and his hand slid inside her habbit feeling her tits then they went into the confessionl box where her heard her confession with the words that could be heard all over the church harder harder been heard
Sex God
...I secretly masturbate to pictures of Brian cowen in the Irish Independent, Bless me Lord, I know its an atrocity but them squinty eyes and them big ass lips make my tender parts go all warm and slippery under me habit, if the other nuns found out I'd be made clean the pig pens in the garden for the rest of my life. Smiling at her, he removed his mask to reveal he was in fact ........
Bobby Eweing from Dallas, but no, wait, as he ripped off his clothes he was in fact, The Man From Atlantis. Why she needed to see the yellow shorts before realising this when his hands were clearly webbed, is a mystery, but the fact that he was largly unknown now, he was still close enough to celebrity status for her shallow needs, I mean, he might actually do one of those used to be celbrity big brothers some day. Plus the whole nun thing had gotten her juices flowing and she clearly wasn't all that selective when it came to men, Brian Cowen, thats really scraping the barrel, an aging soap star couldn't be any worse than that. She pulled down his sexy seventies swimwear to reveal..
Master of Sex
that his fish tail was not as big as his ego in fact it was so dissapointing she turned to her friend and said to her!!! heads or tails the friend laught and told her to....
Master of Sex
he stared as they rolled around kissing, feeling, rubbing each other. he wanted to join them but because of the size of his fish tail he decided to leave his sixties swim trunks on and cried out i want my mammy. the girls looked at him felt sorry for the poor wretch held out their hands to him and said if u want to!!!!!you can....
Master of Sex
it was all to much for captain birds eye he ran down the board walk dived off the prominard not realising the tide was out. there was a loud bang his head was stuck in the sand his fish tale exposed for all to see a little girl holding her mammy,s hand look down and shouted mammy what is .....
She got bored, she waited, then out of the blue, she noticed a Parade on the Main Street. The Chief Marshal was The Bishop and Fr De'Arsee, behind them was the Milkman, and the Tipp Fire Service, the sounds of "Nenagh, Nenagh" still bellowing out that sound! suddennly a mist gathered out stepped ADMIN.........
and announced .... this is a momentous occassion ... un-furl the hoses ... wet the town ... I declare this is "Dora Day" ... for the rest of the day you all must wear nylons & heels and in caseof a knicker elastic emergency ring 1 800 and the wardrobe misterss will be around with her emergency supplies straped on to her........
Master of Sex
to her left leg cos her right leg was wraped round padds you padds did,nt mind legs wrapped round his neck but this was different there was no balls at the end of these legs. bit strange for padds but as hes says this is for things was on padds mind at that moment tho he could not get his mind of the gardiner with the big big plumb balls the pregnant man and the milkman wishing he was there in their arms and making!!!!!!
Master of Sex
Me Bonny will shave him but not his stash as that my fanny tiddler but will have him on a chair with the shaver out where will i shave?????????????????????please tell where to shave mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm :moon::moon:
