AHA! JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT WE WERE GONE !!!HA HA HA HA !!
robin and hes band of very merry and fairly on there way men were actually setting siege to the castle for robin to rescue his fair and beautiful maid Marion , the sheriff would not be marrying her on the Sunday but he would be meeting with robins bow and sharpened arrows with there tips dipped in venomous poison , for robin couldn't and wouldn't be shagging anyone but his maid Marion !!! "" to the castle you bunch of drunken well merry feisty men !!!"" and robin and his men were on there way
Join the most popular community of Irish swingers now
Login
Creative Writing
However they passed a brothel on the way and were waylaid by as sexy a bunch of ladies of negotiable affection as you were likely to meet. Several hours, whores and drinks later one of the now very merry men asked what about Marion. Robin replied Marion who!!!!!.
What would hapeen to Marion.
Would she be impaled on the horns of a dilemma not to mention the sherrifs horn if he could ever get those superhero PJ's off?
Would the Sherrif finally plight his troth with the lovely Marion or even get his leg over?
Is Rain destined to wander unfulfilled in the forest forever?
Will Thomasbiglad find the keys to his chastity belt?
And what pray tell will happen to the scripwriter will some kind damsel take pity on him and give him something to nibble on?
Is there a light at the end of the Tunnel or is it a Train?
Tune in tomorrow same bat time same bat channel and see if our heroes survive another episode of
Maid Marion and horny hairy Knights who never say no (or ni if you'r a Monthy Python fan).
The sheriffs efforts to remove his superhero pj's had bought Marion some time. She was grateful to finally be alone, even if it was imprisoned in the tower. She paced the floor, hoping that Robin and the men would turn up soon, when suddenly, something flew past her face, landing in the heavy locked wooden door. It was an arrow, with a note attached. She carefully unrolled the scroll, "Never fret fair maiden, we are coming to rescue you" It was signed by the whole gang, Friar Tuck had drawn on a smilie face and Robin had added a few hugs and kisses on the end. She felt a mixture of relief and fear. Relief that her brave hero would rescue her and take her back to the forest where she belonged and fear that Robin and his brave group would be harmed in their efforts. She also felt some degree of fear that the Sheriff would finally get out of his pj's and decide he didn't want to be a virgin on his wedding night. She heard someone coming so she quickly hid the scroll and after some effort removed the arrow from the door, and hid that also.
Meanwhile the peasant Rain was using her natural talents to distract the prince in his castle dungeon.
Hi your worst nighmare has returned all, Capt Keaneo and Cutie pie has returned from there tour around the worldddddddddd, from the shores of the dead sea, to the waters of the yellow river, from the great mountains in the east to the mountains in the west, They ploundered and , killled and slaughtered, now the dasterdly two are ready to take on anyone one and every one that gets in there way, from Newbies, and Capt Thomas to lord Clyde and Bonns, they mean to squash Alan balls or should i say cannon newbies to the sword in a slow slow slow death, Keaneo and Cutie are out for revenge, to cause pillage and strife, murder and death where ever they walk and roam.
Frier fuck and robin do good will be put to the pie will with one spurt drown the whole country, al in her way will drown in a flassh flood. Keaneo and Cutie mean to make up for the time they were sunning them selves across the world. Time is nigh the time has come to cause murder and . No one is safe , alot of time to make up, So all you out there get ready and be afraiddddddddddddddddddddddd.
And with that, Sir Lancelot discarded his Prince John disguise and mounted the ramparts surrounded by his "ladies in waiting". Whilst the men in tights had been indulging in a debaucherous orgy, Lancelot and his ladies had put the nefarious Sherrif and his caddish cohort, Guy whatshisname (Gisbourne peut-etre?), to the sword and had vanquished the brief incursion of the Keano Clan. They had rescued the maid from her state of distress and delivered her in a state of disDress to her sozzled, besotted Robin.
Meanwhile Capt Keaneo and his royal sidekick Cutie pie having come back from there world tour, have captured the maid Newbies, and also Lord Lansclot and are taking them by force to a secret hidaway where Keaneo and Cutie and there gang plan to put them to a slow slow death. meanwhile Maid Marrion and Frier Fuck are being hunted down by Keaneo, its time for payback.
Luckily for Maid Marion, Captain Keano had not read back enough of the story to know that newbie9 was Maid Marion, and so the maid newbies that he put to a slow slow death wasn't anyone from the story. Then he lets Maid Marion and Robin escape to where exactly, the forest, their domain, their home turf so to speak. He didn't stand a chance.
As Marion and Robin walked in to the forest, laughing about how easily they had gotten away, there was a rustling in the trees above them. One by one the whole gang appeared from the trees, Friar Tuck, Little John, the whole band of merry men. There were cheers and hugs all round, before they all began to climb back into the trees ready to kill anyone who tried to enter the forest. The women all retreated to the camp to prepare the celebration feast for later that night. The brave men knew the forest better than anyone and had an endless supply of arrows. God help anyone who tried to attack.
As Marion and Robin walked in to the forest, laughing about how easily they had gotten away, there was a rustling in the trees above them. One by one the whole gang appeared from the trees, Friar Tuck, Little John, the whole band of merry men. There were cheers and hugs all round, before they all began to climb back into the trees ready to kill anyone who tried to enter the forest. The women all retreated to the camp to prepare the celebration feast for later that night. The brave men knew the forest better than anyone and had an endless supply of arrows. God help anyone who tried to attack.
Sherrif Alan was still in deep meditation in the Sisterhood of the Clitirous Monsatic retreat & Health Spa ... but his thought were of Robin, the Maid Marion (maid...dont make me laugh)the Merry Men .... Snow White had better help and now the villain Keano & Cutie had returned ... at least there were lots of people to make life uncomfortable for the former Pirate turned goody 2 shoes ROBIN & as for the Maid ... their demise would be a pleasure to contemplate ... indeed meditating their demise was making the Sherrif very relaxed ... so relaxed her was really enjoying the retreat ... he would return next week revived& ready to kill Robin & his Merry band of pervs ... but killing would be too good for the Maid Marion ... no the Sherrif & others had plans for her
Master of Sex
but captain keaneo missed 1 small detail there was 1 beast in the real capital that could tame him. he forgot bout the LEMRAC yes the LEMRAC a lady of fine stature who took no prisioners and could crush balls like them was ping pong balls. the LEMRAC knew about the cutie and decided to seek help from the maid marions maid aka the bonns to help hunt down the keaneo and and his side kick and crush them with 1 swift blow of her sword. cutie will have to decide is it keaneo,s ping pong balls she wants or alan,s big ball or will she take the side of the keaneo and take her chances with the LEMRAC and the bonns time will tell but if i was cutie i know what id b doing.
Capt Keaneo and his royal side kick Cutie having being duped into letting Maid Marion and Robin excape in the forest are now plotting to catch them again and soon. As they rest at the Sisterhood of the Clitirous Monsatic retreat They and there merry band of womanhood are counting down the minutes where they can string the real Maid Marion up and put Robin and his band of wariors to the Keaneo and Cutie have returned with revenge in there mouths. Capt Keaneo has plans to team up with Wonderwoman Lemrac who can crush balls like dust and go forth and take all before them. Anyone who dares confront them will be crushed, Sherrif Alan has decided taht it is time for him to head for the hills as that dasterly Keaneo is on the prowl.
Capt keaneo had decided to give all his enemys one day to to come over to his side, other wise they will be hunted down like dogs and burnt and slaughtered. He intends to take over the whole forest and lands, he will take over the sisterhood of the Clitirous Monastic retreat and health spa and run it as his head quarters. anyone not agreeing with his ways wil be put in to the dark dungons and left to rot or used at his and Cuties pleasure. Capt Keaneo has let it be known one diay left and countaing.
Tryer Fruck had returned,,,,, had been chasing Lancelot's Horse, his saddle had fallen off as he was off chasing the Fems ....
Tryer Fruck, had been busy in his mobile
But was now back.......But now running off to Say Hello to Lemrac, like Maid Marion, beauty personified. like the Bonns, (shit, I can't for the life of me remember character names) Bonn's new Padd has a tinkle in his winkle for her...... xxxxxx
Tryer Fruck, had been busy in his mobile
But was now back.......But now running off to Say Hello to Lemrac, like Maid Marion, beauty personified. like the Bonns, (shit, I can't for the life of me remember character names) Bonn's new Padd has a tinkle in his winkle for her...... xxxxxx
Things were getting heated in and around the forest, not that rain didn't like a bit of rough stuff, but she had instructions from the homeland, and planned to carry them out. Dear reader, might i remind you that Rain is in fact, a princess from the as yet undiscovered county of Bapetikosweti(Just left of Tramore) I will need to take you back a while, to a time when inbreeding was rife and great, great, great,great grandaddy Darryl, was born with two penises, this caused devastation amongst the Bapetis, a girly civil war erupted and the River Suir ran red with the blood of many a good woman. It was decreed from that day forth, that each bapeti had the civil duty to beg,borrow,steal or abduct new blood from whereever they could. Ye Olde Brad and Angelina and the brood of international tots were a good start, infusing many new and interesting characteristics into the continued in this way for a good while, until it was told to us by a weary traveller, that we had no sense of humour.. he told of faraway places, where people sat around the fireplace of an evening, laughing and joking, instead of just humping each other as we were wont to do. We decided there and then, we wanted the craic too, we should be able to banter with the best. The traveller told of a forest in which many merry men lived, this sounded just the place. So Rain, having achieved wisdom and techniques that come to women of a certain age. was volunteered to seduce the merry men, either bringing them home to procreate with the general populace, or collect the merry seed and fly it home postehaste on the backs of carrier ravens. Now that rain was here though, it was proving a little more tricky than she had anticipated..although she did have one good idea.. she would hang about until the besotted Maid Marion and Robin created a boy child, she had seen Robin Hood in tights, and decided the child he created would be a good olde rugby player. She would kidnap said child..send him home to train and kick ye olde Ozzie arses.. until then.. she was going to have fun and cause mayhem as she so enjoyed doing, now, where is that cowardly Triar Fruck..
BE AFRAID BE VERY AFRAID
ABANDON HOPE ALL YE WHO ENTER.
I am referring to what went before
Rivers running red with blood.
Child Abduction.
Doesnt anyone just Fuck anymore.
And so it was that Mulder took his motley band and set sail from the shore. His last sight was the Bapetis laying into Robin, the sheriff Marion and the now not so merry men. By this time the Sheriff had gotten out of his PJ's and was using his penis as a sword. Robin way trying to fire arrows while at the same time humping Maid Marion.
The Bapetis were trying to take down the merry men and when one fell several of the Bapeti Females would leap on him trying to get at his cock. Sex and Violence and from the way Friar Fuck was standing behind that horse, a little Beastiality too. Mulder shook his head and raising his anchor sailed off in search of a land where the maidens were nubile and the beds all had sprung mattresses. Yes indeed Mulder was on off in his quest to find "The lost city of Ikea". What adventures will befall our young (middleaged) (who said that, fuck off depends on your perspective) hero along the way. Will he be waylaid by Sirens or arsebandits, hard to tell, only the fevered imaginings of my sex crazed mind knows. And last but not least will he ever get laid. Still cant be any worse than Sherwood, all those men and only Maid Marion, Rain and some blood crazed/cock crazed Bapetis whose sex was hard to determine unless you picked them up and shook them to see if they rattled.
Exeunt to the sounds of bloodletting and debauchery.
PS I realise that Sherwood Forest supposedly near Nottingham is in the East Midlands and nowhere near the Sea. However if the White Cliffs of Dover are less than a Days walk from Sherwood in Robin Hood Prince of Thieves then me moving the coastline a bit further inland is no big deal.
:taz:
now that the 24 hours has past Capt Keaneo and his beautiful loyal Cutie have fully recovered from their longt journey across the seas, they are ready to strike, Maid Marion and Robin Good Shoes are top of their agenda. They will be hunted down like dogs and put to the slaughter after Keaneo has his way with Maid Marion and Cutie has her way with Robin God is sweet and blood runs deep, Maid Marion will be made scream and roar before keaneo is finished with her. Every fiber in her body will ache with pain as Capt Keaneo has his daasterdly way with will be flushed away with a tidel wave as Cutie unleashes her power and water on himmmmmmmmmmmmm.
the word is out ac cross the forest that there is a mad man on the lose robin Marion and her maid and little john are on the war path they were going to put mr keaneo in stocks and cutie where all the men could have there wicked way with her lemrac who joining fores with robin and his men to destroy mr keaneo to take all his loot and feed the people of john had his eye on lemrac he wanted his wicked way with her would she let him have his way with her...............and what would the maid do
With the help of Little John and the rest of the group they were easily able to capture Keano. they decided that feeding him to the people was probably not the best idea as they didn't want to cause an epidemic of dysintry. They had other plans...
Oh how the gang laughed as keano ranted and raved with his insane rants, he was so far gone he didn't even realise that he was not at sea at all, but bound tightly in a primitve straight jacket in a long forgotten cell in section of the dungeons reserved for the criminally insane. Cutie stood and laughed with the gang as she wached him have a full blown conversation with a one eyed rodent (there was some green crusty gllop where the other eye should be) who he believed to be Cutie. She'd had enough of his boasts about her gushing ablitites, while Robin, Marion and Alan knew there was far more to her than that. They appreciated her beauty, intelligence and natural charms without making obscence references to just a small selection of her broad range of natural skills. As they watched a rather large spider crawl into his mouth they chuckled some more, before heading off to the big feast planned in the forest.
Quote by user=AllyandBaba
the word is out ac cross the forest that there is a mad man on the lose robin Marion and her maid and little john are on the war path they were going to put mr keaneo in stocks and cutie where all the men could have there wicked way with her lemrac who joining fores with robin and his men to destroy mr keaneo to take all his loot and feed the people of john had his eye on lemrac he wanted his wicked way with her would she let him have his way with her...............and what would the maid do
Master of Sex
how could the merry men kill the sorroful captain keaneo since he was in space and got turned by the dark side but lemrac knew he had a good heart in him. it was,nt his fault that it went tock tick instead of tick tock could ther b another being inside him like the aliean dunno but robin wants to open up his belly to find out. could trier tuck save the keaneo will cutie see through him and decide to elope with alan big balls maybe a weekend away with him might b the answer. will marion and her maid want blood will little john get lemrac,s knickers off :doggy:we will have to wait and see in the next chaptor of get keaneo.
Once again confused and upset, the peasant/princess Rain decided to leave Sherwood forest, if this was the way merry men behaved, she didn't want them in her noble clans gene pool. The horrible blood-letting and savagery reminded her of the girly civil war, after great, great, great grandaddy Darryl had been born with two penises. Perhaps, she mused, the sense of humour gene might be found in that lost city of Ikea.. Rain could still see Mulders ship, she was a strong swimmer, stowing away by now no problem to her. Her mind set, she stripped off the lacy hold ups and ye olde kinky boots, dived into the freezing cold water, the thought of nubile maidens and beds with sprung mattresses keeping her strong...
Will Capt Keaneo try and win over the heart of Lady Bonns, or will he stay loyal to his side kick Cutie pies, His plan is to get Maid Marion and Robin good shoes and put them on the rack. Maid Marion he feels need a good stretching, as well as a good ramming , maybe he is the man to do it to her. Lady Bonns will come back to Capt Keanoes side once Cutie is back with Alan raw balls. But will Keaneo reunite with his once true warrior and friend Bonns.
Mulder was puzzled. He could swear there was someone else on board the ship with him. It might have been the way some of his rations had gone missing, but moreso in that early one morning he caught sight of a pair of lacy holdups drying in the breeze on the mast. He thought he must be hallucanating and went below for a drink of fresh water. When he came back they were gone confirming that he was suffering from the lack of the soft touch of a woman. But wait whats this footrpints on the deck, too small to be mine ahh iam definetly cracking up. Suddenly a storm sprang up(well thats a new name for it). The skies grew dark and angry and the little ship was pushed thither and yon on the angry sea. He held on to the wheel for dear life (well it was shaped like a pair of breasts)when he heard a crack and the mast crashed down. Very little of what happened after this made sense he remembered being in the water. there was a sense of someone holding his head above water then all went black.
He awoke to find a pair of lips on his. He spluttered and said whats going on. A sexy voice said I am giving you the kiss of life.
I could be wrong he said but arent u supposed to blow into my mouth not my penis.
She released his penis and turned round ohhhh sorry knew i had to blow something but i always get mixed up as to whether its suck or blow, mouth or penis. Oh thats ok he said by the way the names mulder and you are?
Oh just call me Rain.
to be continued................................
When the storm broke Mulder and Rain realised they were on an idyllic desert island. After some time spent resting and .....(censored) they decided to go and explore the island. Rain found this very uncomfortable as the island was covered in long saw grass and as rain had lost her knickers somewhere, need we say more. By the way this island was once populated by the yelp yelp tribe, and you might ask why the tribe was called the yelp yelp tribe, well, if you ran through long saw grass, you would yelp yelp too. Anyhow many months passed and Rain began to tire of Mulder. She dreamed of being rescued by a ship (full of sailors I might add). Then one misty day she saw a blurred image emerging from the fog out in the bay..what could it be..it was a fishing boat... could they attract this lonesome boatmans attention...
