But why had alan become nervous. Despite the darkness Newbie had her suspicions that something wasn't right with the tackle he had been about to present. Maybe she was being too phallusophical, but it just didn't look right. The truth was H-alanball Lecter was planning on cheating. Using the appendage he had removed from a particularly well endowed victim instead of his own to win the ladies favours. But he realised at the last moment that this would never work, and he went in search of sandeman, his new vicitm. Wait, we have seen this M.O before, could he be the killer from the CSI thread? But that was an old story, and there were new puzzles to be solved. Who was this new contender for the ladies affections? Would Bonns and Newbie have any energy left after the admiral and his amazing stamina? Had the race been won before the newcummer had even 'entered'?
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Creative Writing
Then Padd's new phone went "de de " what ever, it was one of his Mates Hannibal Lecter Ball, Padd's was so happy to receive a text. Padd's knew poor Mr Ball, was in a tizzy,,, the BI Pad was showing interest (haha) and he replied,,,, Mr you have nothing to worry about. (ALAN, you a mate) Padd's had turned the ship around,,, to save those guys from the glory (holes), Bewbie's. Bonn's and Lem all announced, thank Fuck! we can not endure another moment of Padd's singing 80's shit..... but then Padd's lined up a new track on his MP3 player,,,, it was infact "Quicksand- La Roux..... then everyone jumps ship
.......
....and return to "the plank" plot.
The newcomer had arrived on the scene; his name was Charlie.
He had been observing the Admiral's staying power and the ensueing inflation of his ego, knowing the reason for this extraordinary feat.
The Admiral had been sniffing Charlie before the contest had begun! Charlie interrupted proceedings and demanded that a tribunal of inquiry be set up, and that Newbie and Bonns be the "Head" Inquisators.
what was all this about planks padds sat on his rockin chair up on the flybridge of his ship pondering the past and remembered when he was a child and something to do with a plank. it was still a bit cloudy his mind was also on his nct for his boy racer car. it then struck home to him when he was a lad while playing kick the can with the lads on his street 1 of the boys tho padds was cheating cos he had go faster nikki
runners on and had no probs getting to the can and kick it. this made the boys a bit jealous and 1 of em hit padds on the head with yup ya guessed it a feckin plank. so if padds seems to b straying off the story line dont worrie he cant help it cos..........
:crazy::giggle:
runners on and had no probs getting to the can and kick it. this made the boys a bit jealous and 1 of em hit padds on the head with yup ya guessed it a feckin plank. so if padds seems to b straying off the story line dont worrie he cant help it cos..........:crazy::giggle: Ok, Clyde, Padds, I loves ya, but you've managed to completely lose me here. Time to consider chapter 3 methinks...
1930's America. One of the largest meetings of the biggest names in the criminal world is about to take place. Called together by Lips Newbie, to hear details of the the biggest robbery in US history. Her plan would require all of them. All she had to do was wait for them all to turn up to the disused warehouse. Then she heard a car, before it even came close enough for her to see who was in it she could tell who it was by the bullet holes in the car. Bonny and Clyde, fresh from a killing and robbing spree across six states. And who was that coming behind them...
the whacky racers, lead by Dick Dasterdly Padds and the Hole in the Wall Gang ...... a massacre was on the cards and it wasn't even Valentines Day ... but Lucky Ball had his trusty machine gun and knew he could out shoot them all , all night... it was going to be a long night in the warehouse...
Master of Sex
bonny and clyde got out of the bullet holed car holding their tommy guns high firing a burst tolet people know how was running the show turned to newbie aka kissing kate and said fook it its not our car lol. the next car pulled up the door opened and a pair of feet hit the floor a pair of shining sprats pollished to the hilt. yes it was baby face nelson aka thomas big lad hi ya smucks who called the meet he said whats going down(newbie mind bubble wish my knickers where coming down for him mmmm) another car pulls up his tommy gun was bigger than clydes but clyde did,nt mind cos only 1 man could carry a gun like that it was alan ball aka alcapone the man. the gang walked over to the table where kissing kate was throw their guns down on the table and take a seat. kissing kate says that their are 2 more gang members to come. with that a third car comes into the warehouse it was a pink cadilac with a new N.C.T test badge on it. out gets the man a big fella yeilding a base ball bat it was babe ruth aka padds. clyde stands up and ask,s kissing kate y have u got him on board he is not a crook? no says kissing kate but he knows how to kick balls. the 4th and last car pulls into the warehouse it was a mark 4 model t 4 it could only b the 1 and only pretty boy floyed aka swing2wex. with every 1 round the table kissing kate lays down her plan its to b the biggest hoist america has ev er seen. they are going to steal the....
Master of Sex
this was going to b a hard job to pull off ( down padds down) the alarm system was like a fortress. and then u had the untouchables a ruthless bouch of cops led by sean connory aka lance. babe not a lover of cops just wanted to bash seans balls with his bat. clyde knew that babe was going to b a problem,and told kissing kate to keep an eye on him..........
just as the gang was a gathering , tommy the knife pulled up in his new white sadan , he climbed out in his slick new suit pin striped to perfection , his hair slick and clean cut with a twinkle in his eye , he spied bonny n clyde and the bullet holed car with the dogy n.c.t ticket he had bought of the bent cop lance ! " there aint no plan with out me " said tommy the knife , " ive the plans all here " and with that ...............
lips newbie felt a tingle in her crotch !! she had met the knife b4 and had un finshed business with him but could she keep her hands off him ? and was the tingle down there just an ich? " who invited you ! growled clyde , as his finger got ichy trigger finger with his tommy gun ! " i invited me ok clyde ! and keep ur finger off that trigger or ill put another bullet hole through the wreck of a car of urs " meanwhile bonny was working out who she would have to charm to get past the alarms for the sex shop on the corner ? she noticed a trungon she liked in the window and could use it on clyde later that night !!!
All this talk of Fingers and thumbs..... Padd's pondered, was Lancelot back? or was he still in that Matrix that existed in the time zone? posting in the early hours when most where not here!!!!! Or, had he infact walked that Plank!!!! word that was used, by many, but not understood by some?
Padd's phone went, he had too answer, will brb
"Now Now Boys, I'm the boss round here, see, and I invited all of ya halyens here tonight. So why dontcha save those itchy trigger fingers for the job" Lips Newbie may not have organised such a big heist on her own before but she had been in the game a long time and learned fast how to handle the wiseguys. She glanced over at Bonnie, and knew what she was thinking, "Bonnie, don't go drawing the law on us by taking on any unnessisary jobs before the big night, some of my boys run the protection racket in this neighbourhood, I'll take you into that sex shop during opeing hours and you can help yourself. And that goes for all of you, don't go attracting attention to yourselves (which was difficult for clyde considering the bullet ridden state of his car)"
"Gods she's sexy when she gets all bossy like that" whispered Lucky Ball to Thomas the Knife. "I know what you mean, reckon she'll be mine before this job is through" he replied.
Lips Newbie heaard this last comment and spoke to everyone,
"Some of you know me, some of you don't, those that do know I aint anybody's. I was Capones moll for 5 years, and Bugsy Malones for too long, and now I'm my own moll, geddit? I learned a lot with those guys, learned enough to get us all through this job alive, but ya gotta play by my rules." After saying this however, she winked at the Knife, she fully intended seeing her girdle hanging from his ceiling fan before the week was through.
"You don't have to worry about weapons, they have already been taken care of. Just take your pick" She indicated to the wall of weapons behind her,
Your job is to locate all the cameras and disable them, you are the most qualified for this kind of work Lucky Ball, do you think you can handle it? I hear Speccy Mc Lense gets out of the Big House soon if you are not up to the job."
Your job is to locate all the cameras and disable them, you are the most qualified for this kind of work Lucky Ball, do you think you can handle it? I hear Speccy Mc Lense gets out of the Big House soon if you are not up to the job."
tommy the knife was standing in the corner cluching the plans of the job , he had a look of decption in his eyes , was he going to go through with the job or rat the gang to the cops to clear his name for a previous job he had done on the "sandyman" he was asked to do the hit by lips newbie when she was one of bugseys girls he had did a gig at malones birthday bash and wanted him gone for making the kids cry !
but tommy the knife was no rat he was going to stick it out and take the heat if he had to , what hd he to loose apart from his night of passion with bonns and lips newbie ! but could he risk looseing the only bit of pleasure that was coming to him even though the shag fest was looming !
tommy the knife was standing in the corner cluching the plans of the job , he had a look of decption in his eyes , was he going to go through with the job or rat the gang to the cops to clear his name for a previous job he had done on the "sandyman" he was asked to do the hit by lips newbie when she was one of bugseys girls he had did a gig at malones birthday bash and wanted him gone for making the kids cry !
but tommy the knife was no rat he was going to stick it out and take the heat if he had to , what hd he to loose apart from his night of passion with bonns and lips newbie ! but could he risk looseing the only bit of pleasure that was coming to him even though the shag fest was looming !
Lips Newbie walked over to Tommy the Knife, "Hand me those plans Tommy, I don't like that look in your eyes" He gripped the plans even tighter in his hands. "You still worried about heat from that Sandyman job?" she asked, looking into his eyes for a reaction. He flinched, "How did you know"
"Just call it womens intuition" she replied, causualy taking a drag from her cigarette, "You don't have to worry bout that no more, I've set it up so the whole thing gets pinned on Fugly Bug"
"What did the Bug do to deserve that?"
"He crossed me Tommy, he was causing trouble, singing like a canary to the wrong people. Trust me, its whats best for everyone. Now give me the plans, we've a job to organise."
He handed her the plans, and watched with admiration as she walked back to the table.
The table that contained a big plate of carbonara, well this story is about the cosa nostra isn't it, the plate that Tom the knife had so carefully prepared for the looming shagfest. would the carbonara be to the satisfaction of the doyen of pasta, the swing2wex himself, the son of the city of Florence back in mama Italia. Would the knife take the heat out of the fallout of the Sandeman job? Would the knife have it in him to make his tagliatelli tickle bonny, would his fusilli flatter mrs swing or most of all, would his macaroni match the needs of lips newbie? If it all went wrong, would this story turn into a spagetti western???????????????
Indeed, they would all need to be well fed before the big job. Lips Newbie was contributing her mouth watering buns for desert.
"While we eat, I'd like to go over a few details of the plan" said Lips, "It is a little know fact that the Golden Phallus (really alan, why you decided on that as the target in a 1930's theme I don't know but I'll go with it) that is on display on the podium is in fact a fake. It is made of chocolate and covered in gold foil. The real Golden Phallus is kept in a vault backstage. The plan is to make it seem like we believe the Phallus on the podium is the real thing, and the target of our actions. Bonnie and Clyde, I want you and a few of the others, including Wex the Tex, to go in all guns firing, and steal the fake Phallus from the podium. This will cause enough of a diversion so the rest of us can go to work on getting into the vault for the real Golden Phallus. Plus, they won't think there is any threat to the real phallus if someone is trying to steal the fake."
