While the game was afoot in the saloon, Sabre left them to play with themselves, he had unfinished business to attend to.
Quickly lashing "the Stalker" up on a tree, Sabre took his thick ribbed rope firmly in his hands, chugging hard to get it up tight and firm with no slack in it. The Stalker stood high on a borrowed bar stool, bound and gagged... and with a hard yank at his rope and a kick to the bar stool... suddenly the rope cracked off and the job was done.
Pleased with finishing the job, Sabre strided confidently back into the saloon, threw some coins to the bartender and said "that'll cover the damage to you stool I think."
The bartender knew of this stranger in town, he'd heard of him from his cousin, and knew to set Sabre up a hard shot of rye in a straight cup, for he liked the sweet taste on his lips from the cup.
"Bartender, are there any rooms here tonight?" Sabre asked curiously... "For you sir I will give you my best room" the bartender replied. Sabre kicked back his bar stool and made for the stairs.
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Creative Writing
Master of Sex
with that the doors of the saloon burst open standing 6ft 4in was the sheriff all mustle and brawn smokin a 5 cent cigar. eastwood knew not to mess with wayne he seen him in action before and knew that his 45 was no match for waynes pump action gun. eastwood put his gun back in his pants cos he had no holster, sheriff they jerked off my mule and slagged off my woman newbie oakley no 1 and i mean no 1 jerks off my mule and lives. newbie oakley sees stars in her eyes while perving the sheriff wayne her legs buckling at the knees wishing she could have a nite with let me buy u a drink says eastwood knowing to well that when drunk for a few dollors more he can have clyde whops sorry wayne in his pants whops again meant to say pocket. wayne all 6ft 4 in walks to the bar, barman sasperella pls every 1 in the bar starts laughing at the thought of the sheriff drinking kids drinks but there was a reason for that he knew that eastwood was slick and needed his wits about him. because eastwood had a name haunting him when he was dirty harry, eastwood what brings u to my town.......
im here for that gob shit sabre !!! he owes me for cattle he stole from 5 mile town!!!! sheriff clyde wayne siped on his sasberella and pondered the thought of the gun fight that was going to happen !! "bar man " cried eastwood ! weres the little fecker yosemite sam! aka padds
" i need to kick something !!" calm yourself eastwood said newbie oakley ill take the stress away for you as she smiled with a smouldering temptress look in her eyes , meanwhile bonny geturguns strolled over to sheriff wayne clyde , u owe me for 4 nights of howling !! and i aint leaving till i is paid !!!what was sheriff wayne clyde to do ?
and where was the Milky Bar Kid and the Marlboro Man ... never a real cowboy when you need one ... They were all City Slickers ... trying to look cool with their big guns & leather chaps ... but could they handle a longhorn or ride a bronco, never mind wrestle a bull ...Marlboro man & Milky Bar Kid were causing havoc in Swing City ... shooting , drinking & rustling the the hot swing women ... was the Breakfast Gang up to the task .... would there be a shoot out in Forum Coral ... Alan knew a strategy was required to defeat the varmints ... perhaps using Padds fancy fone he could contact the Lone Ranger & Tonto ...
....and then apparantley the neighbours popped in for a bit of a chinwag... brazen huzzie there me thinks as she floats past the window in her camisole... "Morning Mrs Zambeezee" I piped up, "You been shopping?"... "Nah" she said "I've been shopping."
"Ok then" said I, "best be off to bury the cat then"...
"What!" she exclaimed "Nine hours to bury a cat? That wouldn't hapen in my day!"
"Oh come and give me hand then would ya" I replied....
"Oh alright" she said... "but I have to plant my christmas tree in custard or it'll be in a hell of a state!"
"Sugar free I hope" said I...
So off we popped into the woods to bury the cat....
"Here puss puss puss" I called.
Mrs Zambeezee smiled and dropped her camisole to the ground...
"Ahhh now to get buried into that puss of yours Mrs Zambeezee" I grinned.
Life's to short for any nasties - have a laugh ffs!
Newbie Oakley knew that she would have to act fast, Eastwood would not stand for the continued deranged babble from the cattle thief, he would shoot him, and as a witness the sheriff would be forced to lock him up. None of them their wanted that. The sheriff was in a bad enough mood being asked for money by bonns when he had taken it that they nights were free, what with him being the law in these here parts. She would have to diffuse the situation, and fast, it was time to pull out her own big guns. She walked over to the stage, swinging her hips, and nodded to the piano man, took a drag from her cigarette to improve her Greta Garbo voice, and started to sing,
"Here I stand, the goddess of Desire
Set men on fire
I have this power
Morning noon and night it's drink and dancing
Some quick romancing
And then a shower
Stage door johnnies always surround me
They always hound me
With one request
Who can satisfy their lustful habits
I'm not a rabbit
I need some rest
I'm tired
Sick and tired of love
I've had my fill of love
From below and above
Tired, tired of being admired
Tired of love uninspired
Let's face it
I'm tired
I've been with 1000's of men
Again and again
They promise the moon
They always coming and going
Going and coming
And always too soon
Right girls?
I'm tired,
Tired of playing the game
Ain't it a crying shame
I'm so tired
God dammit I'm exhausted
Tired, tired of playing the game
Ain't it a crying shame
I'm so tired
[drunks join in]
She's tired (She's tired)
Sick and tired of love (Give her a break)
She's had her fill of love (She's not a snake)
From bellow and above (Can't you see she's sick)
Tired (She's bushed)
Tired of being admired (Let her alone)
Tired of love uninspired (Get off the phone)
She's tired (Don't you know she's pooped)
I've been with 1000's of men
Again and again
They sing the same tune
They start with Byron and Shelly
And jump on your belly
And bust your ballon
Aye!
Tired, tired of playing the game
Ain't it a freakin' shame
I'm so...
Let's face it everything below the waist is kapput!
Tired!
The effect was immediate, Sabre, who had been so busy stealing cattle hadn't seen a woman in months, and the seductive skills of Oakley on the stage were too much for him, he passed out on the floor. Serrif Wayne stepped in quickly and put handcuffs on him. But this still left the card player to deal with, and a trigger happy barman with a pechanct for white chocolate...
He soon had his chance to slip up the stairs unnoticed as the sheriff lead Bonnie outside to try and talk his way out of the howling bill.
But just as he was starting to get somewhere he could see clouds of dust in the distance, there was a posse riding towards the town, and the Sheriff had a pretty good idea who the ringleader was, there was a whole lot more trouble coming his way...
But just as he was starting to get somewhere he could see clouds of dust in the distance, there was a posse riding towards the town, and the Sheriff had a pretty good idea who the ringleader was, there was a whole lot more trouble coming his way...
{Ok, brief aside from story here. story has been running for a bit now, with for the most part, the same small group of participants. We slag each other off ect in the story knowing its all just make believe. I personally love this thread. Maybe the group has becoming a bit enclosed, and I considered moving it to a private group, but apparently there are people who don't contribute but enjoy following so I left it where it is. New people are welcome, but you might get a slagging in the story, same as we do to each other. No offense is intended to anyone}
Meanwhile...back at the ranch (delighted with the oppertunity to use that phrase)
Padd's wonders what ever made you feel that way? This is a creative writing thread, as Newbie's has already stated, by posting in this thread you must be up for a bit of slagging!! nothing is personal!
The thread purely by it's existence is fun and open to all contributers each can at anytime change the plot of the writings!
Padd's
The thread purely by it's existence is fun and open to all contributers each can at anytime change the plot of the writings!
Padd's
Quote by user=sabrecat1
Sabre was ousted by the established townfolk, he gazed back upon the town, his face on Not Wanted posters in this tight knit community, so he gave up trying to be creative, and left.... never to return... swing the door shut...
Padd's in the interim, wondered, where is everyone? He knew Corporal Jones was in a tizzy over his missed toll payment, Bewbies had retired, Lance would be on later,, but what or where was Thomas and Alan.......... entrapped in CSI stuff,,,, or where they infact out cleaning the stables for Clyde's new Horse?
Quote by user=newbie9
Newbie Oakley knew that she would have to act fast, Eastwood would not stand for the continued deranged babble from the cattle thief, he would shoot him, and as a witness the sheriff would be forced to lock him up. None of them their wanted that. The sheriff was in a bad enough mood being asked for money by bonns when he had taken it that they nights were free, what with him being the law in these here parts. She would have to diffuse the situation, and fast, it was time to pull out her own big guns. She walked over to the stage, swinging her hips, and nodded to the piano man, took a drag from her cigarette to improve her Greta Garbo voice, and started to sing,
"Here I stand, the goddess of Desire
Set men on fire
I have this power
Morning noon and night it's drink and dancing
Some quick romancing
And then a shower
Stage door johnnies always surround me
They always hound me
With one request
Who can satisfy their lustful habits
I'm not a rabbit
I need some rest
I'm tired
Sick and tired of love
I've had my fill of love
From below and above
Tired, tired of being admired
Tired of love uninspired
Let's face it
I'm tired
I've been with 1000's of men
Again and again
They promise the moon
They always coming and going
Going and coming
And always too soon
Right girls?
I'm tired,
Tired of playing the game
Ain't it a crying shame
I'm so tired
God dammit I'm exhausted
Tired, tired of playing the game
Ain't it a crying shame
I'm so tired
She's tired (She's tired)
Sick and tired of love (Give her a break)
She's had her fill of love (She's not a snake)
From bellow and above (Can't you see she's sick)
Tired (She's bushed)
Tired of being admired (Let her alone)
Tired of love uninspired (Get off the phone)
She's tired (Don't you know she's pooped)
I've been with 1000's of men
Again and again
They sing the same tune
They start with Byron and Shelly
And jump on your belly
And bust your ballon
Aye!
Tired, tired of playing the game
Ain't it a freakin' shame
I'm so...
Let's face it everything below the waist is kapput!
Tired!
The effect was immediate, Sabre, who had been so busy stealing cattle hadn't seen a woman in months, and the seductive skills of Oakley on the stage were too much for him, he passed out on the floor. Serrif Wayne stepped in quickly and put handcuffs on him. But this still left the card player to deal with, and a trigger happy barman with a pechanct for white chocolate...
Very good Newbs, in fact, brilliant. I'm not feeling that creative at the moment, but will re-enter at some stage with colours emblazoned as in Shelley, Keats et al (now I'm quoting early Rod Stewart song, but can't remember title)
Alan "milky bar" Kid had been out rustling women, cleaning his gun & getting down off his horse to drink his milk...work was getting in the way of fun ... but Alan knew what Newbie Oakley meant ... this was a small hick town, slowly dying ... new life was needed ... new folks ... where were the hot women, horny couples & sexy guys ... some Swing4 pioneering spirit was needed ... where could the new blood take the adventure ... at 70 perhaps the Wizard Clyde of OZ had the answer ... Newbie beware the wicked Bonns of the West ... and the flying monkeys Padds & Lancelot ... seek you the Lion, Tinman & Scarecrow they know the way.........
Meanwhile back at the ranch...
Dora had rounded up the stray townsfolk, she had ridden for miles to ensure she found them all, herding back towards the saloon, she adjusted her knickers, bloody hell she thought . thongs ain't a great idea for long distance ridin.....
'Oakley.!!!!!!!!!!! roared Dora, give every man and woman a shot of rye, the Easyovers are coming over they will need it'
and git those weemen on
Padd's had waved goodbye to Sabre.... short visit, but a welcomed one, despite him taking offence, pity ! the CSI had kicked in, Padd's being the newbie on the team and the most Junior had decided to check out Sabre's profile, oh what comments! and from whom?..... He pondered, what if, but and.... then on reflection questioned where the fook are my superiors? are they asleep? are they partying?
Padd's sat back and lit a cigarette, sure we have all been here for ages in many disguises.... But Padd's knew that the crew knew him. Bipaddy, BIP and now known as Padd's.... and Padd's rocked on his chair.... in the knowledge that.............
Meanwhile
and espyed a bright luminous object hurtling towards her. She'd overheard drunken cowboys talk of UFOs, but she was sober, and wondered whether she was experiencing a mirage.
But, no she wasn't: it was H.G. Wells' "Time Machine".
Phew, she sighed, thank god it wasn't "War of the Worlds".
The time machine made a tardis-like groan and landed in the middle of the dirt-track mainsteet.
The door opened, and who emerged? It was the one and only Corporal Jones dressed in his dapper khaki uniform. He had pulled the wishbone after Christmas dinner, and having retained the larger part of his bone had wished to kiss the bright red lips of Newbie Oakley.
What was to become of the aged, naive Englishman in the wild, untamed environment that he had wished for?
Could Corporal Jack Jones really be the unnamed time traveller from the time machine? And were his time travelling antics before joining the home gaurd? Did he have his bus pass with him to avail of the OAP discount in the saloon? Newbie Oakley had a lot of questions to ponder. But it was the earlier hours of the morning, the buy one get one free offer at the saloon had proved a big hit that night and she was exhausted. Her bud Padds was trapped in the worm hole of the previous incarntation of the story and would need to be freed. Eastwood was off taking his new horse for a spin. The sherrif was still trying to talk his way out of paying his howling bill, and practising his gunfighting skills with a rubber duck and a water pistol. Newbie Oakley would have to get some seriously sleep to tackle all these ponderables. One thing was certain, she was well happy with Alan the Saloon owner for his choice of pic for her, vast improvement on the burnt marshmallow juggler.
It was time for bed for Newbie Oakley, but, what was she to do with Corporal Jones?
He gazed at her with those simple,rustic eyes and her heart melted.
She invited him to sleep on her floor.
Corp. Jones was delighted; he had only wished to kiss her ruby-red lips, but now he was to sleep alongside her.
And guess what? Newbie planted a peck good-night on his lips, and now he was in 7th heaven.
He fell asleep in contentment, in the knowledge that Newbie was indeed the ultimate exponent of eternal succour.
...and when Corpolar Jones awoke on Waltons Mountain, he found John Boy was as always whitling his wood ... Ma was making grits, pancakes and maple syrup for the all the kids ...the girls were brushing their long blonde hair and all was right with the world .... Waltons mountain was such a magical place ... until the night of the strange lights in the sky......
It started like any other night. The Waltons prepared themselves for bed and as they turned out the lights and as the clock struck 12 the usual ritual began..."Night John Boy", "Night Ma" "Night Pa" ...the routine went on for several hours until all 400 members of the family had said goodnight too each other. Then, the strange lights appeared in the sky, and, horror, the clock struck 12 again..."Night John Boy" "Night Ma"...it began all over again. Would they get any sleep at all? Ma knew they should have moved to that little house on the prarie that she had been looking at on , you wouldn't get strange lights in the sky there! The family assembled en mass in the hallway, before making a group effort to go and investigate the strange lights outside. What was that noise, a strange little tune, a bit like those electronic Simon games used to make...
