It never fails to amaze me how many people make false assumptions about others, based on forum posts, profiles, how they chat in the rooms! and fueled by mailcious gossip from others!
This is a swing site not a play-ground!
People are entitled to act, speak and behave as they feel is appropriate to themselves, and should not leave them open to unpleasant and often downright hurtful asumptions about their character!
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Assumptions..
Sadly it is part of life that people make assumptions about others, but people with some cop on will step back and not be so quick to judge others on what they write or how they live their life. What part of the problem could be is that when you are on-line you can make yourself out to be totally different to how you are in real life or you may come across to be either a total nutter, sex mad freak, all talk and no action or the nicest person on earth, it is how people perceive what way you write in forums/chat.
I know i can come across as a bitch and a nutter but that is very close to how i am in my everyday life, and to be honest i don't really care what people think of me by just reading what i write, what matters to me is the people here who have got to know me in person and the others who just take me for how we interact on-line.
Quote by user=thatguy
Virgo
A gr8 post. This is de reason I took a step back last year! Ur write it be a swing site not a nursery. But in life you will always get the gosips de people dat tink nowt more than de-fame or get of on spreadin nonsence. A great post.
See that is the problem, many people do leave because they can't deal with crap like this, and why the hell should they..
I have lost count of the number of people I know personaly who were driven off sites by bucket mouths!!!!!!
Thanks thatguy and Raven for replying by the way
Well overdue
Quote by user=Virgogirl
This is a swing site not a play-ground!
People are entitled to act, speak and behave as they feel is appropriate to themselves,
Virgo I agree with the above, but I have to say as long as it is not at the expense of another by way of bully, undermining, intimidating or belittling. As you say its a swing site not a playground.
There does appear to be a lot of "Judging the book by the cover " on the site.
It constantly amazes me the number of people that would consider themselves open-minded, yet they can be so judgemental, opinionated and closed-minded on site. These opinions based on a read of a profile, a moments chat or a quick glance at forum threads, and yes in the beginning on site I was on occasion guilty,of rushing to judge and no doubt missed meeting some lovely people because of it.
Does lots of "pictures" = hot minx mail me I want to meet
Does lots of "posts" in forums = opinionated nutter
Does "double "entendre" type chat or posts = always horny & easy, sex mad
Does lots of "comments" on your profile = very experienced, I only meet other very experienced people.
As in all walks of life it takes a little time to get to know people, park your initial opinion & judgement, take the time to get to know someone, we are on site because of a shared interest.
But remember if you cannot say something nice it is perhaps best
"if you say nothing at all"
We are all adults, we are here for fun,
if you don't like what you see on camera - don't look,
if you don't like someones pictures - don't send abusive comments
if you don't like the tone of chat - move to another room
if you don't like a profile - don't mail them to tell them
if you don't like views expressed in a thread - post a reply, express your own opinion but in a way that does not slag, abuse , be-little or demean the original poste
"Anything Goes" is a forum thread where people can express an opinion, ask a question or just rant ....yet on may occasions because of people being overly judgemental or opinionated a thread devolves into a slagging match rather than the democratic discussion and exchange of views that was intended.
Others may form a view or opinion of the poster, but to form an educated opinion read all their postings not just 1 ... "1 swallow does not a summer make"
It constantly amazes me the number of people that would consider themselves open-minded, yet they can be so judgemental, opinionated and closed-minded on site. These opinions based on a read of a profile, a moments chat or a quick glance at forum threads, and yes in the beginning on site I was on occasion guilty,of rushing to judge and no doubt missed meeting some lovely people because of it.
Does lots of "pictures" = hot minx mail me I want to meet
Does lots of "posts" in forums = opinionated nutter
Does "double "entendre" type chat or posts = always horny & easy, sex mad
Does lots of "comments" on your profile = very experienced, I only meet other very experienced people.
As in all walks of life it takes a little time to get to know people, park your initial opinion & judgement, take the time to get to know someone, we are on site because of a shared interest.
But remember if you cannot say something nice it is perhaps best
"if you say nothing at all"
We are all adults, we are here for fun,
if you don't like what you see on camera - don't look,
if you don't like someones pictures - don't send abusive comments
if you don't like the tone of chat - move to another room
if you don't like a profile - don't mail them to tell them
if you don't like views expressed in a thread - post a reply, express your own opinion but in a way that does not slag, abuse , be-little or demean the original poste
"Anything Goes" is a forum thread where people can express an opinion, ask a question or just rant ....yet on may occasions because of people being overly judgemental or opinionated a thread devolves into a slagging match rather than the democratic discussion and exchange of views that was intended.
Others may form a view or opinion of the poster, but to form an educated opinion read all their postings not just 1 ... "1 swallow does not a summer make"
Virgo I agree with the above, but I have to say as long as it is not at the expense of another by way of bully, undermining, intimidating or belittling. As you say its a swing site not a playground.
Exactly Sherri, as long as it it not at the expense of another, being the key words........ Bullying takes many forms, but on sites like swing it shows a deep lack of respect for other people and their feelings..
Funny how so many rush to include the terms GENUINE and RESPECTFUL in profiles, yet feel it is a given right to judge others..
I couldn't agree more with all the points.
In addition I would add
It annoys me when I get assumptions that I am a Male on line and like doubting Thomas I have to go on cam to convince them that a Female of a couple can be in the chat-room unchaperoned. It wears thin especially when all you want to do is have a bit of craic and fun, after all that is why we are here. :doggy:
Sexyleggs
A great thread.
As usual the originator or the posters who commented are not the offenders - they are just highlighting the facts. But highlighting issues is always good, it will make an unintentional offender feel guilty and they may amend their ways, it will show the serial offender that they are causing offence and their actions are being noted and it will ensure that others contribute in a sensitive and respectful manner.
I made an assumption once and I regret that I seem to have cut off a good cyper friendship with some lovely people - my loss, but you learn where the boundries are and you try to build up trust again.
The forums are a great place to exchange information,opinion,thoughts and ideas. They should be free of malicious gossip and insensitive comments.
Most times they are thoughtful,fun,hilarious....I just wish I had the wit or wisdom (or nerve!!!!) to keep up.....but I'm learning.
Does lots of "pictures" = hot minx mail me I want to meet
Does lots of "posts" in forums = opinionated nutter
Does "double "entendre" type chat or posts = always horny & easy, sex mad
Does lots of "comments" on your profile = very experienced, I only meet other very experienced people
Personaly...I couldn't care if a person swung naked off a lightbulb eating marshmallows from Snow -White and the Seven Dwarve's butts!!!!!!!!
I don't judge and expect the same in return, if I get judged I back off pronto!
I suppose this rant should be in assumptions......I have had someone presume they know everything I have been doing since I rejoined the site as this name......when in fact they havent the faintest.....but.....if they asked me directly......rather than presuming......I would have no problem telling them the truth and being totally honest.
Moved for Mona...
Mona a but of advice if you like from an oldie , who has been judged more times recently than a contestant at a freakin Miss World contest!
Does the person or persons making false presumptions about you figure in your radar?
Are they friends , whom you could call on to help if needed?
Could you honestly say that you would trust them with any details of your personal life?
If the ans are No Mona, then simply forget about them, what you do here is entirely your buisness, you should never have to feel the need to explain yourself...
Life is simply too short and too precious Mona to give these people a second glance or thought
