3. Most men are not aware that most women like to be fucked, and fucked well. Society portrays women out there as those who want to "make love" every time - sweet, gentle, rocking love with lots of eye contact and loving kisses. Those women are not the majority. Trust me on this. The majority like to be pounded. The majority like to have their hair pulled. The majority like a good, solid jackhammering. When a woman is bucking wildly against you, it's not because she wants you to pull back and slowly swirl your cock around her vagina like you're mixing a cake batter up there. It's because she wants you to hold down her arms, or grab her hips, or push her legs above her head, and fuck her harder. Ironically, its because society and the mass media portray women in such paltry light that a lot of men these days truly believe that gentle mixing of cake batter is better than wild hard pounding. So my advise to you is this. From the get go, show your man the error of his ways. Hehe. Be EXTRA wild, and be more of a slut, just to prove to him what you like. Afterwards, explain to him that you can also like it slow and lovingly. Then tell him that you'll ask for it that way if you need it.
4. A little roughness is nice. Do not pretend that you had no idea that some men like to pull your hair. Do not act shocked if he wants to spank you ("Really? Spanking? Won't it hurt?" - yes, it does. That's the fucking point). We know you've read Stuff and Maxim, and that's all those manly mags talk about in their "How to Please Her" sections. And we know that for all your bitching about just how trashy lads mags are, they don't even come close to the level of naughtiness of Cosmo and other female interest mags. So go out, buy some stockings and a garter belte back home. Get him all naked on the edge of a bed. Walk into the toilet and change. Walk out. Go towards him and bend over.... slowly... Then squat and go on all fours. You should be sticking your bum out at him while he sits at the side of the bed. Now BEG him to spank you. Start with light, full handed smacks to the area of her ass that you sit on. Tell him to judge your response and continue on from there. Oh, and swear at him. Call him a pussy for hitting like one. Tell him that Women are less delicate than he thinks, so don't worry about breaking your hip.
5. It's OK for you to make noise. Actually this should be on par with number one. Yes, its THAT important to us. Otherwise, we feel like we are fucking a ninja. Unless you actually are a ninja, and have sneaked into our rooms with vibrating nanuchaku and zippered black pajamas, please, please make some noise. If you're banging a man, and he's crying out and saying your name and moaning, and you can't even manage a grunt, he's going to feel like a complete tool. And he won't want to fuck you again. You don't have to make the sounds she is making, but do SOMETHING. You know how when you are watching porn, and the guy does something great to the girl and the girl kind of goes "Ah!", half grunt, half yell? That's HOT. Do that. Whisper our name (assuming you know it) gruffly. Groan against his neck when you're in missionary position or when your cowboying. You don't have to grunt like a mountain gorilla, but if you are totally mute, he's going to get worried. If he ain't exciting you at all, read the other points and try them for fucks sake.
6. Most men like dirty talk, in addition to the moaning. You want us to talk dirty to you right? Well its a two-fucking-way-street. If you'd like to get some dirty talk going, ask him if he likes the way you fuck him. If she responds well, continue with something like, "I love fucking you. God, you look so fucking hot." Is he still moaning and making those hard grunts in response? "Your cock is so...so... *MOAN*" Does that work? Go and collect $200. Then Try the following:
"Oh, god. Your cock is SO hard, you're hitting those spots!"
"OMG I'm so wet - because I like the feel of your cock ramming my cunt"
(If he knows that this is all part of the play and not as a suggestion to do so - unless you really want to try it also)
"I want you to come inside me and fill my naughty cunt with your hot juices. Pump my little cunt you bastard." It doesn't matter that he's wearing a condom; we LOVE hearing this.
If all of those work, you can then progress to things like "sexy bastard" and "i want to be your dirty whore" and "your cumslut". Tread carefully, but please, tread. Do not tiptoe. Do not sit down. Charge.
6. Do not bitch or talk about ALL your goddamned fears when your man wants to try something new. Especially if its something kinky or risque. Think about what it would be like if you got a complete dud in the bedroom. If your man fucked like a rabbit and lasted all 20 seconds before cumming then snoring. You'd hate that. So why complain when your man wants to try all those devilishly nice new things. Step out of the fucking box for once in your life. Fuck social obligations and constraints. You. Only. Live. Once.
7. We like to come. It's called a money shot for a reason. Watching you watch us semen shoot out of ourselves is one of the most gratifying things EVER. It's part of who we are. Men go down these days on women. Granted 99% of them don't know what the fuck they're doing, but at least they suck it up and try to do it whenever you ask, and then some. For all your straight women out there, do you know the horrors that lurk down there? Our cocks hang out, and for the most part, men tend to wash the area more because its more accessible. When is the last time that you gave a proper washout BETWEEN your inner and outer lips? The things I have seen there! Yet we eat you and we make you cum. Do we stop when you start to come? Just at the start of it? Do we start to gag and spit out your juices? Some of you squirt, and some of you even start to wee. Do we stop? No, we hang on for dear life and keep at that button. How would u feel if a man started gagging and running to the toilet to spit out your juices. Would you feel rejected? Learn to swallow. Learn to love it. After all, we learned to love your scent, and taste. And for all you women out there that think that a man's spunk taste's worse than a woman's juices... think again.
In recent memory, I've been fucked by a very aggressive woman and I've been... well, fucked is the wrong term here. I've penetrated a total and dead fish of a timid girl. Who am I going to run back to when I'm ready for my fill? WoManly McHardon, that's who.
My Ideal Person:
I can't speak for ALL men, but I can certainly speak for myself and my mates - a good blowjob rocks our world like a hurricane but it's such a rare experience. There's just nothing like it. And yet, most women fail at this endeavor. The scary thing is that men are a shitload more discreet than women. We won't ever tell other guys if a woman is shit at giving head. Women on the other hand, will discuss in vivid, explicit detail about all our failures in bed. Funny isnt it? Women who like nothing better than to suck a dick and can do it well.... God bless every one of ya!" ...And lads, if you aren't truly giving a decent effort to slurp her snatch, and aren't making her cum.....well....time to re-evaluate and pray that one of the few men out there who DOES lick pussy well doesn't get to her. Cause if that happens, you'll be kicked to the curb like a football at the superbowl.
So girls....we really do want to enjoy sex with you and have the best of intentions....but you gotta step up and do your part. The time has come for men to get ours! Now cowboy the fuck up and learn how to lick us like we've got the antidote to death or the fountain of youth in there.
Peace my brothers and sisters!
May you all get some good oral sex while you can!
P.S.> If you read this all the way to the end... good on u. So tell me what you think about it. PM me. Prove me wrong. =) This letter is not meant to be abusive, or offensive to either sex. If you feel that way, please message and I will try to amend/clarify these statements. This is in fact a letter which was written on another site which I transcribed and edited. These thoughts hold true for me and I hope that the men on this site will also pipe up and agree with me. Or disagree. The important thing is that the women out there read this and take notes. Hehe.
Dear Women of Swing4Ireland,
Look, I know you women have it tough. most of the men on personals sites are just about impossible to understand (sorry guys, but I think its true). It can be scary, too, when men you don't know try to freak you you also have the other end of the spectrum. The man-ginas who are always trying to please you by giving you compliments by the dozen, only to get cheap thrills afterwards by TRYING to get your pictures to wank off to.
I am not here for any of that. I respect women for the person that they are. The nurturing aspect of your individuality and your desire to care for others, and to be in a loving relationship. I truly do. But please, stop being so timid already. Honestly, I appreciate your thoughtfulness. I like that you want to take things slow. I can totally get behind the idea of emotional connection, but dearjesusinheaven, FUCK ME. We've done dinner and drinks. We've gone dancing. We've cuddled and watched a movie.
You know it.
I know it.
You're wearing a low cut shirt and I've been staring at your breasts all night. Goodgodalmighty, get to it and fuck me.
When we get hot and heavy, please take charge. Please, please fuck me. Trust me, I'm not going to just lie still - I'll get involved. But don't make me force my hand into your panties. It's so BORING if I have to be the one to initiate and escalate all the fucking time. We've been kissing for a half hour and my hand keeps grazing your ass. That's nice, but it's time to move forward. Get on top of me and start bobbing up and down on my cock like its going to be your last time ever... because it is if you don't stop being timid in the bedroom.
I'm not going to gently suck your nipples and then pull back when you moan with pleasure. Why? Because that's being coy not what WE want.
OK, I know it's scary. There are lots of men out there who make fucking really difficult. Simply because they don't communicate SOME absolutely CRITICAL/VITAL points to you women. What men want the most in bed.
So, I have compiled some handy tips. Don't think of this as complaining, or as schadenfreude for the Joe Schmucks of the world. Just some simple tips, for timid girls who have forgotten what it means to fuck like women:
1. Taking charge is not bad. On the contrary, its very... VERY... GOOD. (Or bad depending on how you look at it. *grins* hehe) Oh, there will be some men who won't be able to cope with a true woman. An uninhibited woman. An amazon. They'll feel insecure of your naughtier side. Tell me though... would you like to be with such a man? Deep down, you know that you want to LET GO NOW. To be an absolute slut. Because if you were dating a fucking a real man, he would be more than able to be just as deliciously naughty as you. If you are fucking a man, the best thing you could do is to simply ASK. Ask him what he likes. Give a naughty wink and tell him you'll help him to realise ANY of his fantasies... then give a suggestive smile. If he asks you what brought it on... say...I'm sorry - you just look so fucking delicious. I'll go slower." Then watch as your man's eyes widen in protest. Laugh huskily, and FUCK his brains out!
2. Oh my fucking god, please learn to respect the cock. It's different for every man, so ask what he likes. Do not, I repeat, do not just start clamping on his shaft and pumping away like you're trying to race to see how fast he'll cum. There is a time and a place for pumping hard. Do not squeeze his balls like they're your daily stress balls. Do not misinterpret the word "nibble" for "chew". That is extremely unsexy. Start by grasping his cock with the lightest possible touch to generate friction. Slowly work your grip in as you stroke him softly. Ignore his protests and smile wickedly as you trace his shaft with first your finger, then ur lips, then ... your tongue. There is a time and place for charging in and trying to swallow him whole, and there is also a time to sit back and enjoy looking at the fruits of your labor. If you don't know what to do, just ask. "How do you like it?". It's a simple question, and most men will answer straight out. "Do you like pressure? Is it sensitive?" Treat each one as though you have never encountered one before. Forget everything that your last partner number one advise that I can possibly give to you and which all men out there will agree to is this: The wetter it is, the better. Moisten your mouth. There is nothing more heavenly then a slick, sexy, wet mouthfuck.
3. Most men are not aware that most women like to be fucked, and fucked well. Society portrays women out there as those who want to "make love" every time - sweet, gentle, rocking love with lots of eye contact and loving kisses. Those women are not the majority. Trust me on this. The majority like to be pounded. The majority like to have their hair pulled. The majority like a good, solid jackhammering. When a woman is bucking wildly against you, it's not because she wants you to pull back and slowly swirl your cock around her vagina like you're mixing a cake batter up there. It's because she wants you to hold down her arms, or grab her hips, or push her legs above her head, and fuck her harder. Ironically, its because society and the mass media portray women in such paltry light that a lot of men these days truly believe that gentle mixing of cake batter is better than wild hard pounding. So my advise to you is this. From the get go, show your man the error of his ways. Hehe. Be EXTRA wild, and be more of a slut, just to prove to him what you like. Afterwards, explain to him that you can also like it slow and lovingly. Then tell him that you'll ask for it that way if you need it.
4. A little roughness is nice. Do not pretend that you had no idea that some men like to pull your hair. Do not act shocked if he wants to spank you ("Really? Spanking? Won't it hurt?" - yes, it does. That's the fucking point). We know you've read Stuff and Maxim, and that's all those manly mags talk about in their "How to Please Her" sections. And we know that for all your bitching about just how trashy lads mags are, they don't even come close to the level of naughtiness of Cosmo and other female interest mags. So go out, buy some stockings and a garter belte back home. Get him all naked on the edge of a bed. Walk into the toilet and change. Walk out. Go towards him and bend over.... slowly... Then squat and go on all fours. You should be sticking your bum out at him while he sits at the side of the bed. Now BEG him to spank you. Start with light, full handed smacks to the area of her ass that you sit on. Tell him to judge your response and continue on from there. Oh, and swear at him. Call him a pussy for hitting like one. Tell him that Women are less delicate than he thinks, so don't worry about breaking your hip.
5. It's OK for you to make noise. Actually this should be on par with number one. Yes, its THAT important to us. Otherwise, we feel like we are fucking a ninja. Unless you actually are a ninja, and have sneaked into our rooms with vibrating nanuchaku and zippered black pajamas, please, please make some noise. If you're banging a man, and he's crying out and saying your name and moaning, and you can't even manage a grunt, he's going to feel like a complete tool. And he won't want to fuck you again. You don't have to make the sounds she is making, but do SOMETHING. You know how when you are watching porn, and the guy does something great to the girl and the girl kind of goes "Ah!", half grunt, half yell? That's HOT. Do that. Whisper our name (assuming you know it) gruffly. Groan against his neck when you're in missionary position or when your cowboying. You don't have to grunt like a mountain gorilla, but if you are totally mute, he's going to get worried. If he ain't exciting you at all, read the other points and try them for fucks sake.
6. Most men like dirty talk, in addition to the moaning. You want us to talk dirty to you right? Well its a two-fucking-way-street. If you'd like to get some dirty talk going, ask him if he likes the way you fuck him. If she responds well, continue with something like, "I love fucking you. God, you look so fucking hot." Is he still moaning and making those hard grunts in response? "Your cock is so...so... *MOAN*" Does that work? Go and collect $200. Then Try the following:
"Oh, god. Your cock is SO hard, you're hitting those spots!"
"OMG I'm so wet - because I like the feel of your cock ramming my cunt"
(If he knows that this is all part of the play and not as a suggestion to do so - unless you really want to try it also)
"I want you to come inside me and fill my naughty cunt with your hot juices. Pump my little cunt you bastard." It doesn't matter that he's wearing a condom; we LOVE hearing this.
If all of those work, you can then progress to things like "sexy bastard" and "i want to be your dirty whore" and "your cumslut". Tread carefully, but please, tread. Do not tiptoe. Do not sit down. Charge.
6. Do not bitch or talk about ALL your goddamned fears when your man wants to try something new. Especially if its something kinky or risque. Think about what it would be like if you got a complete dud in the bedroom. If your man fucked like a rabbit and lasted all 20 seconds before cumming then snoring. You'd hate that. So why complain when your man wants to try all those devilishly nice new things. Step out of the fucking box for once in your life. Fuck social obligations and constraints. You. Only. Live. Once.
7. We like to come. It's called a money shot for a reason. Watching you watch us semen shoot out of ourselves is one of the most gratifying things EVER. It's part of who we are. Men go down these days on women. Granted 99% of them don't know what the fuck they're doing, but at least they suck it up and try to do it whenever you ask, and then some. For all your straight women out there, do you know the horrors that lurk down there? Our cocks hang out, and for the most part, men tend to wash the area more because its more accessible. When is the last time that you gave a proper washout BETWEEN your inner and outer lips? The things I have seen there! Yet we eat you and we make you cum. Do we stop when you start to come? Just at the start of it? Do we start to gag and spit out your juices? Some of you squirt, and some of you even start to wee. Do we stop? No, we hang on for dear life and keep at that button. How would u feel if a man started gagging and running to the toilet to spit out your juices. Would you feel rejected? Learn to swallow. Learn to love it. After all, we learned to love your scent, and taste. And for all you women out there that think that a man's spunk taste's worse than a woman's juices... think again.
In recent memory, I've been fucked by a very aggressive woman and I've been... well, fucked is the wrong term here. I've penetrated a total and dead fish of a timid girl. Who am I going to run back to when I'm ready for my fill? WoManly McHardon, that's who.
My Ideal Person:
I can't speak for ALL men, but I can certainly speak for myself and my mates - a good blowjob rocks our world like a hurricane but it's such a rare experience. There's just nothing like it. And yet, most women fail at this endeavor. The scary thing is that men are a shitload more discreet than women. We won't ever tell other guys if a woman is shit at giving head. Women on the other hand, will discuss in vivid, explicit detail about all our failures in bed. Funny isnt it? Women who like nothing better than to suck a dick and can do it well.... God bless every one of ya!" ...And lads, if you aren't truly giving a decent effort to slurp her snatch, and aren't making her cum.....well....time to re-evaluate and pray that one of the few men out there who DOES lick pussy well doesn't get to her. Cause if that happens, you'll be kicked to the curb like a football at the superbowl.
So girls....we really do want to enjoy sex with you and have the best of intentions....but you gotta step up and do your part. The time has come for men to get ours! Now cowboy the fuck up and learn how to lick us like we've got the antidote to death or the fountain of youth in there.
Peace my brothers and sisters!
May you all get some good oral sex while you can!
P.S.> If you read this all the way to the end... good on u. So tell me what you think about it. PM me. Prove me wrong. =)
3. Most men are not aware that most women like to be fucked, and fucked well. Society portrays women out there as those who want to "make love" every time - sweet, gentle, rocking love with lots of eye contact and loving kisses. Those women are not the majority. Trust me on this. The majority like to be pounded. The majority like to have their hair pulled. The majority like a good, solid jackhammering. When a woman is bucking wildly against you, it's not because she wants you to pull back and slowly swirl your cock around her vagina like you're mixing a cake batter up there. It's because she wants you to hold down her arms, or grab her hips, or push her legs above her head, and fuck her harder. Ironically, its because society and the mass media portray women in such paltry light that a lot of men these days truly believe that gentle mixing of cake batter is better than wild hard pounding. So my advise to you is this. From the get go, show your man the error of his ways. Hehe. Be EXTRA wild, and be more of a slut, just to prove to him what you like. Afterwards, explain to him that you can also like it slow and lovingly. Then tell him that you'll ask for it that way if you need it.
4. A little roughness is nice. Do not pretend that you had no idea that some men like to pull your hair. Do not act shocked if he wants to spank you ("Really? Spanking? Won't it hurt?" - yes, it does. That's the fucking point). We know you've read Stuff and Maxim, and that's all those manly mags talk about in their "How to Please Her" sections. And we know that for all your bitching about just how trashy lads mags are, they don't even come close to the level of naughtiness of Cosmo and other female interest mags. So go out, buy some stockings and a garter belte back home. Get him all naked on the edge of a bed. Walk into the toilet and change. Walk out. Go towards him and bend over.... slowly... Then squat and go on all fours. You should be sticking your bum out at him while he sits at the side of the bed. Now BEG him to spank you. Start with light, full handed smacks to the area of her ass that you sit on. Tell him to judge your response and continue on from there. Oh, and swear at him. Call him a pussy for hitting like one. Tell him that Women are less delicate than he thinks, so don't worry about breaking your hip.
5. It's OK for you to make noise. Actually this should be on par with number one. Yes, its THAT important to us. Otherwise, we feel like we are fucking a ninja. Unless you actually are a ninja, and have sneaked into our rooms with vibrating nanuchaku and zippered black pajamas, please, please make some noise. If you're banging a man, and he's crying out and saying your name and moaning, and you can't even manage a grunt, he's going to feel like a complete tool. And he won't want to fuck you again. You don't have to make the sounds she is making, but do SOMETHING. You know how when you are watching porn, and the guy does something great to the girl and the girl kind of goes "Ah!", half grunt, half yell? That's HOT. Do that. Whisper our name (assuming you know it) gruffly. Groan against his neck when you're in missionary position or when your cowboying. You don't have to grunt like a mountain gorilla, but if you are totally mute, he's going to get worried. If he ain't exciting you at all, read the other points and try them for fucks sake.
6. Most men like dirty talk, in addition to the moaning. You want us to talk dirty to you right? Well its a two-fucking-way-street. If you'd like to get some dirty talk going, ask him if he likes the way you fuck him. If she responds well, continue with something like, "I love fucking you. God, you look so fucking hot." Is he still moaning and making those hard grunts in response? "Your cock is so...so... *MOAN*" Does that work? Go and collect $200. Then Try the following:
"Oh, god. Your cock is SO hard, you're hitting those spots!"
"OMG I'm so wet - because I like the feel of your cock ramming my cunt"
(If he knows that this is all part of the play and not as a suggestion to do so - unless you really want to try it also)
"I want you to come inside me and fill my naughty cunt with your hot juices. Pump my little cunt you bastard." It doesn't matter that he's wearing a condom; we LOVE hearing this.
If all of those work, you can then progress to things like "sexy bastard" and "i want to be your dirty whore" and "your cumslut". Tread carefully, but please, tread. Do not tiptoe. Do not sit down. Charge.
6. Do not bitch or talk about ALL your goddamned fears when your man wants to try something new. Especially if its something kinky or risque. Think about what it would be like if you got a complete dud in the bedroom. If your man fucked like a rabbit and lasted all 20 seconds before cumming then snoring. You'd hate that. So why complain when your man wants to try all those devilishly nice new things. Step out of the fucking box for once in your life. Fuck social obligations and constraints. You. Only. Live. Once.
7. We like to come. It's called a money shot for a reason. Watching you watch us semen shoot out of ourselves is one of the most gratifying things EVER. It's part of who we are. Men go down these days on women. Granted 99% of them don't know what the fuck they're doing, but at least they suck it up and try to do it whenever you ask, and then some. For all your straight women out there, do you know the horrors that lurk down there? Our cocks hang out, and for the most part, men tend to wash the area more because its more accessible. When is the last time that you gave a proper washout BETWEEN your inner and outer lips? The things I have seen there! Yet we eat you and we make you cum. Do we stop when you start to come? Just at the start of it? Do we start to gag and spit out your juices? Some of you squirt, and some of you even start to wee. Do we stop? No, we hang on for dear life and keep at that button. How would u feel if a man started gagging and running to the toilet to spit out your juices. Would you feel rejected? Learn to swallow. Learn to love it. After all, we learned to love your scent, and taste. And for all you women out there that think that a man's spunk taste's worse than a woman's juices... think again.
In recent memory, I've been fucked by a very aggressive woman and I've been... well, fucked is the wrong term here. I've penetrated a total and dead fish of a timid girl. Who am I going to run back to when I'm ready for my fill? WoManly McHardon, that's who.
My Ideal Person:
I can't speak for ALL men, but I can certainly speak for myself and my mates - a good blowjob rocks our world like a hurricane but it's such a rare experience. There's just nothing like it. And yet, most women fail at this endeavor. The scary thing is that men are a shitload more discreet than women. We won't ever tell other guys if a woman is shit at giving head. Women on the other hand, will discuss in vivid, explicit detail about all our failures in bed. Funny isnt it? Women who like nothing better than to suck a dick and can do it well.... God bless every one of ya!" ...And lads, if you aren't truly giving a decent effort to slurp her snatch, and aren't making her cum.....well....time to re-evaluate and pray that one of the few men out there who DOES lick pussy well doesn't get to her. Cause if that happens, you'll be kicked to the curb like a football at the superbowl.
So girls....we really do want to enjoy sex with you and have the best of intentions....but you gotta step up and do your part. The time has come for men to get ours! Now cowboy the fuck up and learn how to lick us like we've got the antidote to death or the fountain of youth in there.
Peace my brothers and sisters!
May you all get some good oral sex while you can!
P.S.> If you read this all the way to the end... good on u. So tell me what you think about it. PM me. Prove me wrong. =) 
hmmmmmmmmmm this thread has a very strange ring to it dont be fooled into feeding the deluded mind off the sad author , have a feeling its someone working undercover for ,berties secret service ,he hasnt gone away ye know
theres no such thing as a bad blowjob!
:grin:theres ,average blowjobs
:lick:theres, good blowjobs
:thumbup::thumbup:and theres, oh my god dont stop you hornbox, i want to stay like this forever because this is the best god damn blowjob ever, and when i cum i will probably cum forever,and i will show you how much i appreciate it by doing whatever you want ,i havent been this hard since i was a teenager,this is better than any movie, your better than any porn star, you know how to worship my cock, etc.....
you get the jist.
