Ding, thank you so much for your kind comments on the agony aunt column. I am humbled. I’d like to point out that all are welcome to air their problems and advice in this column – everyone’s contribution is welcome and appreciated. Let it out.
Now, on to your predicament. Let me start off by congratulating you on your entrepreneurial endeavour, it’s exactly this kind of pioneering spirit that will lift us in these dark days. And a not for profit venture at that – altruistic acts like these offer hope and inspiration in this avaricious world gone mad.
I’m delighted to advise that I think you’ll find your target market, the swingers market, most receptive to you and your stunning Ding Gym instructors. There is obviously a gaping hole in the market at present and I think you and the Ding Gym team are perfectly poised to fill that hole.
While I understand that you would have preferred a fanfare for your opening, In the current economic climate for the launch at least, low key is more tasteful: and certainly wins the crass versus class battle. It also suits the venture more; it is a discerning, exclusive service after all, is it not?
My advice in marketing your cutting edge new venture is… less is more. Forget the flamboyance of magazines, TV and radio - IT is the answer. Now, I don’t just mean you sticking your flash drive into a client’s usb port and transferring your data all over her hard drive. You need to exploit the online nature of our swing community.
My advice is to ‘leak’ some video graphic evidence (perhaps a viral?) showcasing your skills in the services you provide. Think one night in Paris, and you’re on the right track. One Ding Day in Dun Laoghaire hasn’t got quite the same ring – it will need work. Ding gym will fix it? Nah. Perhaps a forum competition?
Finally Ding, I know you say you’ve invested and gambled in this new enterprise. In the unlikely event that you should run into financial difficulties, may I suggest that you do not ask Mr. Lucylovesit or any other gunner fan for a Baleout? (I wouldn’t like to see you get a kick in your Ding gym equipment).
In terms of operations, I agree with your strategy of starting off slow before getting progressively faster and faster in order to achieve full penetration into the mainstream market. I wish you every success in your inspirational venture. I can see big things ahead even in a market that is harder and harder to get a good firm grasp of.
Marketing master in Mulhuddart
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Agony Aunt
Dearest Eden
Again a bright light in these dark times.....
I'm not really one for inuendo but I do like to slip one in every now and then but I must comment on the undercurrent to your response let me explain
" ...less is more ..." Fully Fully agree with you here take Ryanair as that very same example...My approach here is to have the instructors tasetfully presented so the mind is stimulated as much as (love) muscles..... My own personal approach would be per client basis
"...insert your flash drive into her usb port ...." Again sound advice but i might tone it down to portable storage device the use of the word flash in a business context may be mistaken by the late late show audience types among us ....
".....leak some video footage ...." As a safe sex kinda guy any form of uncontroled leakage would be against the Ding Gym ISO 9001 quality procedures but in controlled circumstances under controlled conditions this may very well prove to be a very good attraction for the more discerning Gym Swingers......
As for the title I dont want the Gym to be linked to all be it classics like Debbie Does Dallas so was thinking of a theme like a "A gym in your Office" .... " Exercise outdoors with Ding" ...."Enjoy a Ding Gym Session with friends over the festive season" etc
"....Full Penetration..." is the ultimate delivery but I do want to emphasise we also cater for the teasing and physical side of non penetrative stimulation and relaxation (post rigours workout)...
I dont want to get personal here but the undertone to your response leads me to suggest a workout of a Gym of sorts for you might be benifical ...In this instance I feel with the assistance you have offered to date that an honoray membership to the Ding gym is on its way to the Northside for your use as and when u need it...
Ding in Dundrum
Again a bright light in these dark times.....
I'm not really one for inuendo but I do like to slip one in every now and then but I must comment on the undercurrent to your response let me explain
" ...less is more ..." Fully Fully agree with you here take Ryanair as that very same example...My approach here is to have the instructors tasetfully presented so the mind is stimulated as much as (love) muscles..... My own personal approach would be per client basis
"...insert your flash drive into her usb port ...." Again sound advice but i might tone it down to portable storage device the use of the word flash in a business context may be mistaken by the late late show audience types among us ....
".....leak some video footage ...." As a safe sex kinda guy any form of uncontroled leakage would be against the Ding Gym ISO 9001 quality procedures but in controlled circumstances under controlled conditions this may very well prove to be a very good attraction for the more discerning Gym Swingers......
As for the title I dont want the Gym to be linked to all be it classics like Debbie Does Dallas so was thinking of a theme like a "A gym in your Office" .... " Exercise outdoors with Ding" ...."Enjoy a Ding Gym Session with friends over the festive season" etc
"....Full Penetration..." is the ultimate delivery but I do want to emphasise we also cater for the teasing and physical side of non penetrative stimulation and relaxation (post rigours workout)...
I dont want to get personal here but the undertone to your response leads me to suggest a workout of a Gym of sorts for you might be benifical ...In this instance I feel with the assistance you have offered to date that an honoray membership to the Ding gym is on its way to the Northside for your use as and when u need it...
Ding in Dundrum
Old Indian Proverb
This has just been brought to my attention from a Yoga Guru in Kildare
"Swinging is key to a healthy body and mind, but because getting to the gym can difficult and time consuming, not to mention it just isn’t for some people, we don’t do as much swinging as we should. Now Ding home makes the Ding travel to you. Make swinging fit around you, your family and your life"
This has just been brought to my attention from a Yoga Guru in Kildare
"Swinging is key to a healthy body and mind, but because getting to the gym can difficult and time consuming, not to mention it just isn’t for some people, we don’t do as much swinging as we should. Now Ding home makes the Ding travel to you. Make swinging fit around you, your family and your life"
Dear Agony Aunt
Please can you help i'm having a problem every time i enter the post office i keep on producing my condom from my wallet when i go to pay the ould electric bill.:doh:
You wouldn't mind but the lady behind the till is about sixty and nearly dies of this mean i have a lusting :doggy:for the older women syndrome ha ha or do i have to stop carrying me condom in me wallet anytime i enter the post office any advice would be app.:thumbup::lol2:
biggles
Please can you help i'm having a problem every time i enter the post office i keep on producing my condom from my wallet when i go to pay the ould electric bill.:doh:
You wouldn't mind but the lady behind the till is about sixty and nearly dies of this mean i have a lusting :doggy:for the older women syndrome ha ha or do i have to stop carrying me condom in me wallet anytime i enter the post office any advice would be app.:thumbup::lol2:
biggles
Quote by user=Amberx
Dearest Alicolwic,
This needs urgent attention!!
May I suggest that you organise a party of your own and invite those that you know who organise parties along, getting to know them :rascal: and such!
Then you will meet up with folks who may ask ye both along to future parties.....just an idea like! ;)
I wish you all the best and may the force be with you :thumbup:
(not in agony) Aunty Amber :rose:
This is the best advice we have ever received :rascal:
Help!!!
I don't know what to do, in recent days I have found myself forgetting certain items of clothing and leaving them behind in peoples houses, cars etc. I'm not sure if this is something I am doing on a sub conscious level and am curious as to the possible reasons for leaving these items behind.
Please all advice greatly appreciated
Kitten x
Quote by user=Kitten28
Help!!!
I don't know what to do, in recent days I have found myself forgetting certain items of clothing and leaving them behind in peoples houses, cars etc. I'm not sure if this is something I am doing on a sub conscious level and am curious as to the possible reasons for leaving these items behind.
Please all advice greatly appreciated
Kitten x
Dear kitten28
I always find a list that helps a report of what clothes and items you are wearing often use to leave me boxer shorts or a shirt behind ha ha ha try not escape out a window or fire exit lol when leaving the building in question ha ha ha.
biggles
Dearest Kitten,
There are two explanations for this behaviour.
The first being that you may be really exhausted from rigorous sex and your brain just doesnt have the energy to remember the little things that you need (ie: clothing etc)
The second reason for this behaviour is more on a subconcious level whereas you leave these items behind in order to appropriate yourself an opportunity to retrieve such items. This is usually because the people with whom you have left said items are really nice and you may have had such fun with them that you wish to return to their fold.
Fear not, for either scenarios outlined above are signs that one is actually enjoying themselves quite a lot, and your behaviour is deemed rational in "Le Journal Psyche" (I looked it up online :rascal: )
We hope that our explanations have in some way helped to ease any worries you may have.
Yours as always,
alicolwic
Quote by user=Kitten28
Help!!!
I don't know what to do, in recent days I have found myself forgetting certain items of clothing and leaving them behind in peoples houses, cars etc. I'm not sure if this is something I am doing on a sub conscious level and am curious as to the possible reasons for leaving these items behind.
Please all advice greatly appreciated
Kitten x
Kitten, it's completely normal to leave things behind I do it all the time so I can go back and retrieve the said clothing and then have second helpings for the reason I took them (or they were taken) off in the first place :lick: I have now taken to leaving kitchen utensils behind, don't ask!
but yes there was drink involved and lots of it :angel: I'm going back for mine are ya with me? 
hwoar: Found: One Ding Gym Tshirt personalised with the words "kitten28". Brand new and very clean. May have been used once by the owner before being misplaced.
Should this item be yours, please go to your favourite internet auction site to bid for its safe return. Ah feck it, just give us a snog and you can have it back :lick:
I must thank you all for your very informative and honest responses it is warming the cockles of my heart!!
Amberx I think that is an excellent suggestions we have already been aclimatised to the wilds of Wicklow a good 12 hour hike should do it to which I should hope col there will be more than a snog waiting for us given our efforts to retrieve said Tshirt and erm kitchen utensils.
Ding I do believe the picture u have so kindly provided is indeed my uniform as I distinctly recognise the nipples happily protruding from the Tshirt and lock of brown hair as none other than my own.
Sparks my instructor in mischief I do apologies for letting the side down and can only hope my talents on the ding gym have saved me from a sacking and not in the pleasant sense. Had the Tshirt been wet I may not have lost it as it would have been most difficult to peel off.
Something to remember in future.
Kindest regards
Kitten - ding gym instructor 
quote user=Amberx]
Kitten, it's completely normal to leave things behind I do it all the time so I can go back and retrieve the said clothing and then have second helpings for the reason I took them (or they were taken) off in the first place :lick: I have now taken to leaving kitchen utensils behind, don't ask! but yes there was drink involved and lots of it :angel: I'm going back for mine are ya with me? hwoar:
Amber,
I have found that in these cases that the items when in the process of being recovered, are often joined by other items ! This leads to repeat performances and door banging (in some cases at inappropiate times :doggy ! Would you suggest a do not disturb sigh on the door or a please join in one :evil2: :taz: :P :smile2: :lick:
Quote by user=Kitten28
Help!!!
I don't know what to do, in recent days I have found myself forgetting certain items of clothing and leaving them behind in peoples houses, cars etc. I'm not sure if this is something I am doing on a sub conscious level and am curious as to the possible reasons for leaving these items behind.
Please all advice greatly appreciated
Kitten x
Kitten, it's completely normal to leave things behind I do it all the time so I can go back and retrieve the said clothing and then have second helpings for the reason I took them (or they were taken) off in the first place :lick: I have now taken to leaving kitchen utensils behind, don't ask!
but yes there was drink involved and lots of it :angel: I'm going back for mine are ya with me? hwoar:Amber,
I have found that in these cases that the items when in the process of being recovered, are often joined by other items ! This leads to repeat performances and door banging (in some cases at inappropiate times :doggy
! Would you suggest a do not disturb sigh on the door or a please join in one :evil2: :taz: :P :smile2: :lick: Dear Agony Aunts and Uncles,
Since the recession began, like everyone I've had to cut back on little luxuries. Traumatically, for a lady who enjoys sexy time, the underwear budget was one of the first to be cut.
Unfortunately, by now, the elastic has loosened on all my old bloomers. Now, I'm a resourceful kind of girl. Initially, I welcomed the challenge and came up with the ingenius solution of folding them over and stapling them. This has worked reasonably well to date.
However, it is not a perfect solution; safe removal of staples do present a delay in accessing the secret garden of Eden and they also leave little puncture marks thus further destressing the poor old bloomers. Have you any other suggestions?
Many thanks for your help,
Droopy drawers in Drumcondra
Since the recession began, like everyone I've had to cut back on little luxuries. Traumatically, for a lady who enjoys sexy time, the underwear budget was one of the first to be cut.
Unfortunately, by now, the elastic has loosened on all my old bloomers. Now, I'm a resourceful kind of girl. Initially, I welcomed the challenge and came up with the ingenius solution of folding them over and stapling them. This has worked reasonably well to date.
However, it is not a perfect solution; safe removal of staples do present a delay in accessing the secret garden of Eden and they also leave little puncture marks thus further destressing the poor old bloomers. Have you any other suggestions?
Many thanks for your help,
Droopy drawers in Drumcondra
ARE YA REALLY AN AULD MOANER:kick:Quote by user=Eden
Dear Agony Aunts and Uncles,
Since the recession began, like everyone I've had to cut back on little luxuries. Traumatically, for a lady who enjoys sexy time, the underwear budget was one of the first to be cut.
Unfortunately, by now, the elastic has loosened on all my old bloomers. Now, I'm a resourceful kind of girl. Initially, I welcomed the challenge and came up with the ingenius solution of folding them over and stapling them. This has worked reasonably well to date.
However, it is not a perfect solution; safe removal of staples do present a delay in accessing the secret garden of Eden and they also leave little puncture marks thus further destressing the poor old bloomers. Have you any other suggestions?
Many thanks for your help,
Droopy drawers in Drumcondra
Taking careful notes for pressies for Eden :P
Quote by user=Eden
Dear Agony Aunts and Uncles,
Since the recession began, like everyone I've had to cut back on little luxuries. Traumatically, for a lady who enjoys sexy time, the underwear budget was one of the first to be cut.
Unfortunately, by now, the elastic has loosened on all my old bloomers. Now, I'm a resourceful kind of girl. Initially, I welcomed the challenge and came up with the ingenius solution of folding them over and stapling them. This has worked reasonably well to date.
However, it is not a perfect solution; safe removal of staples do present a delay in accessing the secret garden of Eden and they also leave little puncture marks thus further destressing the poor old bloomers. Have you any other suggestions?
Many thanks for your help,
Droopy drawers in Drumcondra
Dearest Eden/Droopy Drawers,
How traumatic for you :upset: If you'd stop all that camming with knickers on yer head, maybe your knickers would be in a better state today?? :grin: As a good friend and fellow swinger, may I suggest the following:
A. Baling twine normally works for me......a few layers wrapped around said bloomers at the top and tied in a neat bow at the front is most attractive.....don't forget to keep a scissors at the ready for unforseen knots and for.....errrr....emergency purposes...:uhoh:
B. If you don't have baling twine readily available.....cut two holes out of a disposable hotel shower cap and yank them up on ya.....bingo!
C. If either A or B don't suit ya......make a New Year's resolution for 2011.....join the ranks and go commando.....sure I won't tell if you don't :rascal::rascal:
Wise in de West :thumbup:
:giggle::giggle::giggle:
Additions to Christmas Shopping list;
1. Roll of Baling twine, from Farmer's Market for Cloud and
2. Shower Cap for Eden......oh on second thoughts if Eden wears a shower Cap with two holes in it on her head ( similar to how she often wears her knickers) she may be mistaken for a Rubber Bandit !!!! ....despite her posh norrie brogue.
:D:D
:D:D 
Sex God
Eden. I am able to assist you 
Take a spin
, and anywhere you see a tractor there will be bailing twine normally rolled up or balled up somewhere inside.
P.s. Plenty of tractors in Mayo:giggle:
Take a spin, and anywhere you see a tractor there will be bailing twine normally rolled up or balled up somewhere inside.
P.s. Plenty of tractors in Mayo:giggle: New Years resolutions
Dear Agony Aunts and Uncles,
Every year I make new years resolutions and every year I fall a little short of sticking to them. This can sometimes ruin my whole year as the guilt engulfs me. So, this year I was thinking of introducing a fail by date so that I can get the guilt over with earlier and introduce the "oh well' philosophy a little sooner. What do you think is an acceptable fail by date?. Many thanks,
Guilty in Glasnevin
Dear Agony Aunts and Uncles,
Every year I make new years resolutions and every year I fall a little short of sticking to them. This can sometimes ruin my whole year as the guilt engulfs me. So, this year I was thinking of introducing a fail by date so that I can get the guilt over with earlier and introduce the "oh well' philosophy a little sooner. What do you think is an acceptable fail by date?. Many thanks,
Guilty in Glasnevin
So I can't help you on this one sorry 
