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Advice for Single Males.......or how to do it

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Having been half of a couple here for a short time I cannot believe the amount of single males who fail to read profiles or dont take seriously what the people request or are looking for, now dont take me wrong Im not saying I know how best to do it and I may stand corrected here yet and maybe on several points I'm about to make, I just feel someone needs to tell the single guys how to do it, not all of them as I have come across some very good profiles and very good adverts by some single males recently, and also if anyone has anything to add feel free to do so..... first and most important thing here is your profile, if you go into chat for example and say hi to the room or simply send a message to someone, there is a good chance that that someone will have a look at your profile. First impressions last they say, so when this happens you need to grab their attention. Most males have very little written on theirs,god, how long does it take to write a few original words describing yourself and what your looking for, perhaps write something funny or unusual that may make you stand out from the crowd and be remembered. some photos, and I think there may be enough of the usual cock in hand shots here, maybe I'm wrong, even a simple photo of you dressed in a shirt and tie or maybe doing some activity you like(not incl wanking) like maybe sking, parachute jump,standing on top of a mountain or simply at some famous landmark or just lying by the pool. Just because its a swing site it doesnt mean in every photo you need to see a cock. And if your uploading photos go to the hassle of getting Picture Verified, its shows you've made a wee effort and your real and serious about this lifestyle and dont worry, nobody sees the pic only admin, its not going to appear in the farmers journal or the local mass bulletin. 3 Go into the chatrooms and say hi, its here most of the flirting goes on and people get noticed, you may find it a cold place at first and i know the "newbies room" is mainly full of anything but newbies and you may feel out of place or alone but stick at it, participate in the various and sometimes strange conversations, add your take on it and believe me you will have people chatting you in no time. And while we're on the chatroom thing i must mention the whispers, firstly if you want to whisper, have the manners to ask, secondly if your going to whisper make sure you whisper something relevant/funny/interesting/original and not the usual shite like nice tits or how are you, been here long, im in galway next week and i have a big cock, wanna fuck, I personally dont think it works, women here, like anywhere else have to be seduced and they've heard it all before so think before you ask to whisper. 4. This is very important, read peoples profiles, if they say "no single males" or "if we want single males we will find you" or there looking for guys over 5'10 as the lady is 5'9 and wears heels and your only 5'7, respect that and dont annoy them or waste their time by messaging them. 5. Dont go online and send friend requests to every female or couple, its not a competition to see who has the most friends, most people here will only accept friends requests from just that "friends" or people they know online and have chatted before so lads go handy on that button ask stupid questions like the following, what are you into, where in galway are you from, what your real name, can I have your phone number, can I see your private pics etc etc. take the time to get to know someone first, then down the line when they feel comfy with you maybe ask to see pics then, most peoples private pics are here to be shown to people they intend to meet and are not wank bank material for sinle guys. manners, dont speak down to ladies here or think any less of them because their on a swing site, and they are as I said, Ladies, just like any others, dont be vulger or believe because their on a swing site that their going to ride you, like i said earlier, they need to be seduced just like any other, both body and mind. speak badly of anyone or be name dropping or telling stories, we're not n school anymore, this is a small community and a close one and be discreet. 9. Try and get to a Meet n Greet, it'll get your face and name known, you may even get a comment or member verified out of it. your lucky enough to get to meet a lady or a party invite, make an effort,be showered and shaved and make sure to be shaved in the right areas depending on the ladies preference, also dress smartly or appropritaley depending on the dress code. Also dont turn up empty handed, bring a bottle of wine or a box of choclates and most importantly a box of condoms and use them, not the choclates the condoms smile 11. And finally, be patient, dont try rush the lady or couple or be pushey, good things come to those who wait I hope you find this helpful and please feel free to correct me or add to this. Sparkie
Sparkie, well done. Great post and great advice ! Guys ye will definitely have a good time here if ye keep the advice above in mind. Lim x
Ah shit! does that stuff [u:dbd150ff01]still[/u:dbd150ff01] have to be told.. :doh: dunno banghead I'll take your word for it as it's impossible to know from 'my side of the fence'. Ah well, heed it lads (those of you that need to of course, not those that already are).... :dunno: Wilder
Thanks Lim-Babe smile and sadly Wilder it has to be said, it should be emailed to all single males on joining and then give them a test on same n if they don't get 100% don't let them join :) Sparkie
"If your lucky enough to get to meet a lady or a party invite," ...... hey hey hey... isn't that tooo harsh to say .. If you lucky ... maybe lady or couple should be lucky to get chance... ;) im just saying.
it is my feeling an have been keeping to myself for awhile now but yet another single guy teacher training lesson,,, i believe if a guy needs to be told to do these things then he will be doing it because he has been told to and it will not be somthing that comes natural to him.. yet with another breath we are telling guys to be themselves . so which is it to be ,, be natural or behave as we tell you to ,i am of the belief that if it doesnt come natural to a guy then it wont come at all, and if they dont get a response then it is their own fault,,,,as rosie would say ,, NEXTTTTTTTTTTTTTT , tiny i agree with everthing u are saying hun but there are those that cant be taught and we have to weed through the briars to find that wild rose an a real wild rose blossoms all by its self ripe for the picking when we find it xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Lucy, strangely enough I'm going to agree with you and kinda contradict myself, however most behaviour does not come naturally and is learned in some shape or form and even though what you say is kinda right the single guys can be thought how to behave here, I don't want them to become someone else or try to change their personality, I just want them to stop and think for even that split second about the females or couples here, and I know the last thing a lady wants is a guy who lets on to be nice just to get into her panties . Thanks for taking the time to read and reply guys Sparkie
And PhotoT, you were one of the guys who inspired this rant of mine, you sent one of those uninvited winks to a profile that specifically stated was looking for bi fem, straight couple or couple with bi-fem, so heed my advice smile and yes, I say the guy is lucky yo get an invite as there are thousands of guys fighting for a limited number of places here, it's simple economics, if supply is low the price is high and vice versa Sparkie
Quote by Tiny-Sparks
And PhotoT, you were one of the guys who inspired this rant of mine, you sent one of those uninvited winks to a profile that specifically stated was looking for bi fem, straight couple or couple with bi-fem, so heed my advice smile and yes, I say the guy is lucky yo get an invite as there are thousands of guys fighting for a limited number of places here, it's simple economics, if supply is low the price is high and vice versa
Sparkie

NOT FOR ME LADY :))))))))))
P.S. Why, you need to fight for something here? Its pretty simple - attractions are main things. If you don't attract person, look for another. If you do - u talk, u meet, u get experience... Why there is some f**k thing about fighting ?! - Out of Service smile
PhotoT, competing may be a more appropriate word than fighting smile
Quote by Tiny-Sparks
PhotoT, competing may be a more appropriate word than fighting smile

Tiny-Sparks, possible ;)
Chill out, and drink some good green tea ! No need to fight with biggrin
T.
Mr Tom, I'm not fighting with you at all, I'm just giving advice based on my experience smile Sparkie
Quote by Tiny-Sparks
Mr Tom, I'm not fighting with you at all, I'm just giving advice based on my experience smile
Sparkie

So do I Ms, so do I
Enjoy S5I ;)
:sparring::sparring::sparring:::kick::kick::kick:
Here we goooooooooooo rolleyes two alfa males :giggle: which both are cuties but come on boys :roll: give momma worship some lovin here :giggle: and stop!!!!!!!!!!!! Sparky....agree with most points ya made BUT you're our male version of the lovely Eden biggrin she has given these very well thought out pointers already. Lucy.... :thrilled: thats someone is sticking up for the boys ...you're right about a guy can't change his personality but in fairness eden/sparks is just giving hints to these guys that may have never been on a site like this (and some "innocent" ones may believe we are just all pornstars/sluts/dial-a-fucks...which u know how picky we are) Photo....as kylie says.."we should be so lucky" :giggle: :giggle:
Quote by lucylovesit
it is my feeling an have been keeping to myself for awhile now but yet another single guy teacher training lesson,,, i believe if a guy needs to be told to do these things then he will be doing it because he has been told to and it will not be somthing that comes natural to him.. yet with another breath we are telling guys to be themselves . so which is it to be ,, be natural or behave as we tell you to ,i am of the belief that if it doesnt come natural to a guy then it wont come at all, and if they dont get a response then it is their own fault,,,,as rosie would say ,, NEXTTTTTTTTTTTTTT ,
tiny i agree with everthing u are saying hun but there are those that cant be taught and we have to weed through the briars to find that wild rose an a real wild rose blossoms all by its self ripe for the picking when we find it xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Lucy well said :thumbup:
While I do agree with Tiny's original post, I also like the fact that those who don't have basic manners or social skills practically out themselves by the way they put themselves forward. It makes deciding who is legit and who couldn't be arsed to put in any effort as plain as day.
Now that said, I also think that there are some single girls/couples on here who need to chill the beans abit when it comes to people contacting them and not being what they're looking for. Yes it's annoying alright, but it's simply a matter of deleting an email or clicking 'block' in the chatroom. I think if they contact you or whisper you without reading up on your profile etc, they don't warrant a response so leave it at that, or tell them in simple terms that they don't fit the bill.
However this practice of absolutely lifting someone who whispers or contacts you out of it in the main chatroom for everyone to see is abit ridiculous, and maybe it's just me, but it makes me think less of the person who is actually having a go. I have met with several people on here who were not technically what I was looking for, and to be honest I'm glad most of them made the effort to contact me. If someone isn't what you're looking for, telling them in a civil way usually does the trick for me. You never know, these people who you reject so absolutely for a Careless Whisper ( George Michael fans click like here lol ) you may end up crossing paths with further down the line at a party or meet&greet.
Wouldn't it be such a shame if the single male/girl/couple that didn't measure up just happened to be the worst typer, the crappest at creative writing (believe me alot of my best guy friends would fall straight into this category) and turned out to be funny, charming, great-fun, great-looking and perhaps still not what you're looking for but someone who it doesn't hurt to be friends with???? Just because as couples/single girls we happen to be in the majority so have a 'choice', don't limit your options by acting like tyrants when someone who doesn't have as much choice simply takes a chance and tries to get themselves noticed.
But guys please, less of whispering without something interesting to say :lol: :lol:
Ok rant over - enough of being the devil's advocate for the day for me!!!! :lol:
I guess alot of this can be summed up by saying a little manners goes a long way, and this post may be a waste of time as an old saying goes "ya cant teach an old dog new tricks" I just find it annoying, even when I log in as Tiny-Sparks and it clearly says (sparkie) after it, guys are whispering me saying hey babe and hi honey etc etc and its just annoying to the point that I went and composed this rant of mine and its nice to hear others take on it also, keep em coming guys, Sparkie
This is good advice for anyone on the website not just the single males i would say
Just my add on's to the previous posts: 1. Always send a recent face picture, and avoid cock shots. Ladies like to see the driver before they see the size of the 'tool'. 2. Be respectful and honest at all times.. Porky pies will come back to bite ya! 3. It's your personality that will get you a meet, NOT the size of your cock! 4. Be reliable you will only get one shot!! 5. Maybe take the lady a small gift, she might just remember you!! 6. Revert back sparkies post wink
Stig thanks for the comment. And Temptress thank you for the additions you added, they make perfect sense smile Sparkie
As a SINGLE male, i take grave exception to these constant reprimands that appear on here. Especially para 10 of the original post, like who do people think they are that they speak to people like that. YES, its a woman's world, but please we are not some piece of dirt that you pick up from the ground and verbally chastise like we are some 10 year old kid. I always said i would never get involved in the politics that is on this site,but sometimes there is only so much you can take. Anyone that personally knows me, knows I am very laid back,easy going and generally takes life in my stride so this rant is defiantly out of character for me. Why is OK for a lady/couple to whisper without asking, but for a male, its compared to 1st degree murder??? Believe me when i say there are single ladies and couples who behave quite badly also,whom i have personally experienced but we don't see EPIC posts about it. Ladies take a chill pill please. I have had a great time on here, its a well run site with lots of fab people, but please everyone, can we all get on to the same pedestal ! Rant over....
Mr HnF, 1. Be yourself ! 2. Be Yourself ! 3. Be yourself ! Oh yes, shower, shave, be clean and have some respect ! Enough said, Liam smile
Load of viewpoints some valid some not so, It cuts both ways , sure a lot of guys shoot themselves in the foot at the first hurdle, and in a way its a kind of 'Natural selection' Only the fittest survive the swing lifestyle ( and I mean that in the mental fitness not the physical sense) With single men some of us are destined for great things in the lifestyle, others sadly not, through be it lack of self confidence or clouded judgement to what they really want from swinging, I'm around the site a long time, and the scene itself a bit longer than that and as an avid 'people watcher' can safely say when I see new faces in chat I can suss out pretty quick if theyre here for the marathon of gonna fall to the wayside after the 'sprint' Personally I was a long time here just observing the chat and the dynamics before people got chatting to me and it paid of in reams at the time. In the long term you get out of the site and the scene in general what you put into it, if you make the effort as reverberated in a few previous posts you get out of it,what you put into put no effort put into yourself on here you get feck all!!! Fail to prepare...prepare to fail. Mr T P.s. the 'whisper whingers' are a great gripe of mine, the sites had the 'whisper authentication and Blocking function' for almost a year now and there is no reason for people to make a song and dance about getting them, personally I think its people looking to make an example of others purely to give themselves a sense of importance. Hit the block button or for those that will complain 'But Titan I cant get whispers from my buddies etc then' set them to authorized, its not rocket science. Edit Welcome Back Liam, good to see ya back mate!!!
Thanks Mr T, we're back n ready to party roll on 2012 :swingingchair: :bounce: :bounce: 69positionhumppassionkiss:cheers: blast innocent :lickface: :lol2: :lol2:
BUMP :grin:
............just cuz there seems to be alot of newbies around :thrilled: :rascal:
True Worship but all the new people should read this and not just the "single males"
Quote by TheStig11
True Worship but all the new people should read this and not just the "single males"

poke :silly: i said newbies...not single males...but i assume you meant the title of this thread........but i can't change it :silly: :lol2:
i am sure anyone that reads the thread will get the hint ;) but i amn't fighting with ya stig kiss
Yes there are a lot of newbies both male and female on at the mo, which is great. I love the single males I also love the whisper filter button..I will reply to most whispers. Ones that pop up with hi.. Aren't high on my priority list.. To be honest. I've encouraged a few newbie males to fill out their profiles and put up tasteful body shots over the past few weeks. It will stand to them in the future. I know a lot of guys think this is a pick up joint, but alas it takes a bit of patience and a bit of time to wiggle your way in to the group. It's not going to work if u think you can log on at and think you'll have a female banging your door down by 8! Like everything, you need to put in the ground work. Spend a bit of time in the chat room.. Jump into the conversation, don't wait to b asked.. No one will ask you! Talk to everyone.. Not just the girls( if your looking for a girl or guy if your looking for a guy) your personality will come out more if you just relax and chat. It might take a few appearances in chat for people to remember you, give it time.. This is a great site for meeting people, but, you get out what you put in! Happy swinging!! :-)