Hi there
Just looking for a bit of advice.
Over the past day or two I have received several abusive voice messages from the angry wife of a single male.
She found my number on his bill and my first name on my mobile voicemail.
She wants me to contact her to 'talk' about the damage I have caused to their marriage. She was very upset saying they had three children, who also happened to be crying in the background on one of the voice messages.
He lives about 10 miles from me and I am afraid she could locate me if she really wanted to. His profile is blatantly 'single'. I never met him, however did have phone contact.
Should I call her? Should I leave a comment on his active profile that he is married? What is the right thing to do?
Guys like this give the 'genuine single guys' a bad name.
Thanks Clara.
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Abuse from Single Male's WIFE
Clara,
Sorry to hear that, but this issue in my eyes is of a personal nature and not site related.
I can only suggest that you deal with it first hand, by posting it here you may get suggestions that may not be to your liking, infact some may ridicule, I for one, will not, I hope you get the situation sorted.
Padds
x
Sorry to hear that, but this issue in my eyes is of a personal nature and not site related.
I can only suggest that you deal with it first hand, by posting it here you may get suggestions that may not be to your liking, infact some may ridicule, I for one, will not, I hope you get the situation sorted.
Padds
x
Quote by user=Clara78
Hi there
Just looking for a bit of advice.
Over the past day or two I have received several abusive voice messages from the angry wife of a single male.
She found my number on his bill and my first name on my mobile voicemail.
She wants me to contact her to 'talk' about the damage I have caused to their marriage. She was very upset saying they had three children, who also happened to be crying in the background on one of the voice messages.
He lives about 10 miles from me and I am afraid she could locate me if she really wanted to. His profile is blatantly 'single'. I never met him, however did have phone contact.
Should I call her? Should I leave a comment on his active profile that he is married? What is the right thing to do?
Guys like this give the 'genuine single guys' a bad name.
Thanks Clara.
of course there is more than would openly admit,,, alot of the so called single males do have partners and i find it sad that they cant admit to it,,
i hope you get your problem sorted, its such a shame you have been put in this situation, however i must ask how does she know that the phone call wasnt an innocent hello if it was just a number off the bill ????
ok , this sounds to me like he has a history of playing away , and his partner just wants to project her anger onto someone ...in this case you ... although the situation is unfortunate , your first contact should be with the so called single male , explain to him that his carelessness has caused you aggro and tell him to sort it out . after all, you did nothing more than chat to the guy , do not make contact with this woman , this course of action will cause more trouble for you , no smoke without fire in her mind etc etc.
Avalon is right - the problem belongs to the 'single' guy - Tell him to ensure his wife does not contact you again. If she does - tell her that you will not discuss the matter and that she should never contact you again. Warn her that you will report her to the authorities if she persists in threatening you.
Anyone who is married but telling lies about being 'single' should be banned from this site. Swinging is about consensual sex between grown adults. If they can't be honest with themselves and their partners they will never be honest with potential partners and are not to be trusted and shows up their blant immaturity and irresponsibility.
Anyone who is married but telling lies about being 'single' should be banned from this site. Swinging is about consensual sex between grown adults. If they can't be honest with themselves and their partners they will never be honest with potential partners and are not to be trusted and shows up their blant immaturity and irresponsibility.
Personally,,Clara...We'd let it off for a bit,,but,,if she persists,,,A nice txt,,with a link to his profile on the site here,,might make her see that He was out to cheat on her anyway,,and it would not have been just with You.
Secondly,,We Always recommend that people buy a second sim card if your going to be exchanging phone calls/txts with "new" people.
That way if you get any hassle,,or weirdos,,you can simply dispose of the sim card,,and not lose any of your friends,or familys numbers!
Plus,,Maybe it's not such a good idea to have your name on your voicemail??
Just Our 5 cents worth!
Hi again
Thanks to everyone for the advice and opinions.
I am not going to call either of them, no point in making a bad situation worse.
She only rang a few times today, so hopefully she'll get the message after a few days. If she doesn't, I will text her his profile name, etc. I'd say she has quite a list to call anyway. This guy was/is popular in the chatrooms etc.
Thanks again everyone.
Clara
Hay clara, sorry to see this sort of thing happen to you, or any woman,
I for one wouldnt go as far to send her the profile, sure it is his mistake, but she needs to hear this side of his life from him, he has to face up to what he has done, as for telling all his name to make sure no other woman falls to him i think is a good idea, he has blattenly lied on his profile, so maybe admin can do something about it, ???
if she does contact you just say you was totally unaware he was married and he told you he was single, and that you was sorry for her pain, that will get her off your back, and put the blame where it deserves to be, on his sholders, tell his wife if you had known that he was married you would never have considered seeing him....
Yeah Clara, sorry to hear his wife went crazy at you, best not to talk to either of them, it's his problem not yours, he'll sort it out with his wife, I'm sure she also knows that she should not be calling you and should be sorting this out with him and him only....I bet she'll calm down a little and stop calling you....yes there are a lot of married men on here, probably half of them, you can't believe everything you read on people profiles, some profiles perhaps, but not everybodies...I've had a few white lies on there myself from time to time I must admit, if I have, then so have a lot of other people as I class myself as a pretty honest person at the end of the day....You can let the honest remain honest but you can't force people to tell the truth on their profiles either, some people enjoy lying and enjoy making fake profiles here, often pretending that they are couples or females, they'll get a lot of mails that way, there's no way to stop that happening, all the genuine people know each other through one person or another so it's not a major problem for most people is it.
As a married guy who is on here thought I might put in my tuppence worth. My profile is not very detailed for obvious reasons but does make it clear from the off that I am attached and I tend to be very upfront about it when I chat to people. Reactions are varied, from its ok we are only chatting, to a very very long lecture on how terrible I am. It certainly has cut short many potential friendships with women who just do not want to know about a married guy at any level. I much prefer it that way to be honest. I don’t see the point of lieing about something as fundamental as that.
Which brings me to four points:
1. If people do have a problem with chatting to attached men can you perhaps just get over it and move on to the single guys! Do you really on a swinging site have to give the guy a lecture on how awful he is? Do you not see the daftness in it? We all have different reasons to be on the site. Dont be moralistic about others. Its a long lonely road to a very drafty higher moral ground.
2. Why do people have trouble chatting to attached males but seemingly have no problem chatting or meeting attached females. I know I know there are several of you who would not meet an attached female but the majority of people have no such problem.
3. Attached guys. Embrace the truth and fecking admit you are attached! Ok you will find lots of potential pals will not talk to you but at least the ones who do are likely to be genuine.
4. Which brings me to the last point. Lots of people are in here to talk. And talk and talk and talk. Most of us around for a while have come to recognise Mandy the 25 year old 42dd hottie who is actually Cyril the 50 year accountant wanking away to his hearts content (I find when the 25 yr old hottie asks me how big a cock I have after asking my name is a dead giveaway). These are the guys who also arrange meetings but don’t show. They are here for the beer. To talk and wank and get off. They see women they chat to the same way they see porn they watch. As objects. For gratification. You wont change them. You just need to try to spot them from a distance and run!
People just need to be a bit more discerning in who they talk to. And approach all new contacts with an open and highly suspicious mind!
To answer Claras post .. I would cut of all contact with both. If his wife noticed a number on the bill... that wasn't by accident , she was obviously suspicious which would lead me to believe you probably weren't the first and wont be the last he has played away with( or tried to )
Now to tom4s post
I agree no one has the right to lecture another person regarding their marital status but everyone does have the right to their own opinion regarding this .
I will chat to anyone and continue to do so on a personal level (not just chat room small talk) if we "click"
However I will not meet married or attached guys whose partner is not fully aware of there swinging as my own personal thoughts of that are its not swinging. In saying that I will not judge them in chat or have a go at them regarding this but I am entitled to my opinion and if asked for it , I have no problem in speaking my mind, but will not try ram it down someones neck, each to their own and all that. I have had many a conversation with a certain married guy on site relating to this and would not stop talking to someone just because they are married,
But I have more respect for those such as tom4 who make it clear they are married/attached to a non swinger , its a personal choice to meet married or attached and those who do not state this are in my opinion totally underhand , now I'm not saying all married men should have a bright red flashing sign on their profiles but if a conversation is struck up with a potential meet , I feel this info should be disclosed.
As for the married woman on here , I feel the exact same . and in this age of equality etc it does piss me off when a married guy comes out with a line such as "my wife doesnt understand me" or " I love my wife ,I just need more sex" and he is immediately blasted ... but if a woman comes out with the same stuff , the response is "aww you poor thing"
Thats blatant double standards and goes to show its true when anyone says if you have tits and a vagina on here , you can do no wrong .
With regards to toms last point ....chat away .. have fun, but never take anything at face value unless the 25yr old hottie is standing in front of you in the flesh!
Our veiw is if your married be straight about it, we dont meet attached or married men as a rule but if your not told till your naked what do you do?lol If either sex is chatting to you and they are looking for a meet be honest if your attached, we will tell you we dont meet but will continue to chat to them if they respect that and stop asking for meets.
Thats a big problem here!!
Hi Marie,
Cant fully agree with you on your post. Yes for sure all sex, whether via swinging.. with your gf/bf..wife,partner should be by consent. But I dont believe that is solely in the realm of swinging. In clubs,pubs..marts all over people meet..lie,spoof..whatever in the pursuit of sex/fun and yep for sure its mainly married men...and they do get caught, let people down etc...none of use can or should ever be the arbitors of that or take a high moral ground cause we are under the guise of 'swingers' .
Because then we can all use the 'Badge' of Swinger as a badge of convenience and catch all.
Honesty and mutual consent for intimacy or fun ..sex ..etc should always be based on respect and honesty ..whether inside or outside the swinging environment.
to quote the great Spike Milligan
People (Men) who live in glass houses, Should dress in the basement
Thanks for reading my comment.
rgds
F
Honesty and mutual consent for intimacy or fun ..sex ..etc should always be based on respect and honesty ..whether inside or outside the swinging environment.
That is a very insightful statement Frank, and one which perhaps many who do feel the need to lie their way into bed should take onboard..
Just because someone states on a profile they are married, take it or leave it, shouldn't automaticaly mean they should be ignored , but neither should it give them the right to fluff up the situation so to speak.. and leave others feeling angry or hurt when they realise they have been taken for a fool..
I never felt the need to wear a badge of honour Frank, but I always felt that honesty was the best policy,when it came to swinging, but more often I am finding this is not returned.. the old saying 'it all comes out in the wash' springs to mind here, swing is a small world and people do chat so thankfuly the messers do get caught out..eventualy.
That is a very insightful statement Frank, and one which perhaps many who do feel the need to lie their way into bed should take onboard..
Just because someone states on a profile they are married, take it or leave it, shouldn't automaticaly mean they should be ignored , but neither should it give them the right to fluff up the situation so to speak.. and leave others feeling angry or hurt when they realise they have been taken for a fool..
I never felt the need to wear a badge of honour Frank, but I always felt that honesty was the best policy,when it came to swinging, but more often I am finding this is not returned.. the old saying 'it all comes out in the wash' springs to mind here, swing is a small world and people do chat so thankfuly the messers do get caught out..eventualy.
Hi Offalycouple...
Once your are involved in swinging....that is your badge ..i.e. the badge of swinging...otherwise you have another badge...e.g. go to parties ....don't do casual meets...la la la .... So In Bold... you are either a swinger or you are not..... but dont be depressed its only about 20% of people on swi are actually true swingers...most even the popular ones that you see are flirters......and usually end up in a relationship on here...
but thanks for answering..... rgds
fjvm
