Sent to me by a Scottish friend
50 shades darker.. the buckie years....
'Dae ye trust us?' he snorts.
Aye, spose so I said oot wan side ae ma gub while takin a draw oot ma fag, wide-eyed, ma heart bouncing aff ma ribs, ma blood pressure thru the roof wi lust!!.
He reaches doon, an fae his trackie poaket, he pulls oot his silver grey polyester tie… that silver grey tie that he wears tae court is noo bindin ma podgy wrists!. He moves dead fast!! No bad fur sum c**t oan DLA!, sitting astride me as he fastens ma wrists the gether, but this time, he ties the other end ae the tie to wan ae the spokes ae ma white iron Argos headboard. He pulls at the tie makin sure im trussed up like suhin oot a rodeo. I'm no going anywhere. I'm tied, literally, to ma bed, an I'm drookit wi desire!!.
He slides aff me an stauns aside the bed, staring doon at me, his cross eyes dark wi want, or mushys.. who knows?!. His look is triumphant, chuffed tae the guttie that he hus tamed the beast!.
'That's better,' he whines, an smiles a wicked, knowing toothless smile. He bends an starts undoing wan ae ma gutties, ah wish ah had oan ma Uggs so's he cud rip them aff!!. Aww naw!! no… no… ma feet, they're pure hummin man!. I've just been running tae the offy fur sum Thunderburd an a box ae micro chips fur the weans!!.
'Naw,' I protest, trying tae gie him a swift kick tae the walloper!!.
He stoaps.
'If ye struggle, I'll tie yer feet, anawl!. If ye make a noise, Senga, Ahl gag ye. So shut yer geggie or it's 40 rapids tae the chin! Chantelle, Keanua and the others are probably ootside listening right now.' Gag us! weans! I shut up....
He removes ma shoes an ma socks efficiently an slowly peels aff ma troosers. Oh? - whit skants um a wearing? Sh*t man!! Hope they are clean! He lifts me an pulls ma quilt oot fae underneath us an places me back doon, this time oan the sheets. 'Noo then.' He licks his chapped bottom lip slowly. 'Ye're biting that lip, Senga, ye been oan the bath salts??. Ye know whit it dis tae me!.' He places his roll up stained index finger ower ma mooth, 'zip it fatty' he says... a warning.
Sakes man!!. I can barely contain maself, lying helpless like a pun ae mince, watching him move like Jagger roon ma room. It's a heady aphrodisiac, a pure turn oan!! ya belter!!. Slowly, almost leisurely, he removes his gutties undoes his mars bar troosers, an lifts his vest tap aff ower his head, his gold chains rattlin!. 'I think ye've seen too much doll,' he chuckles slyly. He sits astride me again, pulls ma egg stained t-shirt up, an I think he's going tae take it aff me, but he rolls it up to ma neck an then pulls it up ower ma heed so he can see ma mooth an ma nose, but it covers ma eyes. – he changes his mind and pits the pilla ower ma face.. fink its cos ahm a stunner?? He tells me tae bite the pilla... yas man!! Go fur it!! Malky ya big RRRIDE!!!.. I wait.. Malky? Malky? I heedbutt the pilla aff ma noggin and see ma purse is gone!! BAS***D!! Malky ya bawbag!! Ye shot the craw wi ma purse.... untie me ya riot!!! This grey tie's gittin rammed up yer council gritter.. he shouts up fae the close.. 'laters baby'
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50 shades darker.. the buckie years....
Classic!!
Warming the Bed
found a few jems on the #irishshadesofgrey on twitter, they had us 
:lol::lol::lol:
'Give it to me, give it to me', he roared aggressively. Some days Mary hated working at Ulster Bank.
He slipped his hand under the red silk.. 'You're so beautiful in that dress.' 'Feck off, it was only a euro in Penneys!'
Bríd's knees were sore and her throat was raw…This was the longest Novena she'd ever attended.
You're so tight, he said, I'm from Cavan she replied.
'Whisper dirty things to me' she said in her most husky sexual voice. 'Kitchen, bathroom, sitting room' he said.
Slowly he ran his finger down the middle, parting the pink softness, feeling the moist sticky centre. He loved a Mikado.
Bent over his knee Sean pulled back the underwear, "Mary the childs nappy needs changing" he said
She ground her teeth in pain, a sheen of sweat covering her body as he pulled the ropes tighter. Big calf for a small cow.
Her hand pressed against it. It was trobbing, hard, and boiling hot. Jaysus, the immersion must've been on for ages
:lol::lol::lol:
'Give it to me, give it to me', he roared aggressively. Some days Mary hated working at Ulster Bank.
He slipped his hand under the red silk.. 'You're so beautiful in that dress.' 'Feck off, it was only a euro in Penneys!'
Bríd's knees were sore and her throat was raw…This was the longest Novena she'd ever attended.
You're so tight, he said, I'm from Cavan she replied.
'Whisper dirty things to me' she said in her most husky sexual voice. 'Kitchen, bathroom, sitting room' he said.
Slowly he ran his finger down the middle, parting the pink softness, feeling the moist sticky centre. He loved a Mikado.
Bent over his knee Sean pulled back the underwear, "Mary the childs nappy needs changing" he said
She ground her teeth in pain, a sheen of sweat covering her body as he pulled the ropes tighter. Big calf for a small cow.
Her hand pressed against it. It was trobbing, hard, and boiling hot. Jaysus, the immersion must've been on for ages 